Love, Save the Empty
by AshesAshes83
Summary: Holly McNamera is twenty-three years old, and finally ready to begin her life. She and her brother, Josh, grew up and spent their childhood in the small town of Forks, WA. Fate and a horrific car accident put the siblings on two very different paths. Josh's new life is with the Cullens. Ten years later, Holly appears, meets Edward, and walks right into love ... and danger.
1. Chapter 1

Thank you for giving me a shot. I hope you stick around even after I warn you that this is an Edward/OC story. Holly is my star here and I hope you give us both a chance to win you over.

Thanks to my validation beta, Kherisma, as well as my beta reader Alice's White Rabbit. You ladies rock!

Enjoy ...

One

"Can you get off my back for two seconds, Josh? Jeez, I just walked in the door. How can you possibly be angry at me already?" Holly said, feeling frustrated and tired. After a long night at the bar dealing with rude patrons, the last thing she needed was an earful from her brother.

"Who said I was angry? I was worried to death, Holly. The bar closed over an hour ago. And when you can afford to _live_ on your own, then I'll leave you alone. You know, most people who graduate college find a job before they relocate, and I'm not talking about working part time at the Drinking Horn, either," Josh snapped back at her.

Holly sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Can we please have _one_ conversation without you bringing that up? I work hard to try to be independent. I have a job, I have a car, and I have a place," she said and rolled her eyes in frustration when Josh raised his eyebrows at her in question. "Okay, well I _had_ a place. It's not my fault the pipes busted in my apartment building. You know I wouldn't put you out like this if I had any other options. If it's too much for you, then I'll just leave," she said with a shrug and walked passed him into the kitchen, hoping to just end the tiresome conversation.

Josh threw his hands up in the air. "Really, and go where? You've been in Seattle for two months now and haven't managed to get to know anyone. You have no friends. You know no one," he said, looking down at her.

She wanted to shout that his words were not true, but they were. No one she had contact with on a regular basis through the bar had any interest in becoming friends outside of work, not that they were the kind of folks one might consider pursuing a friendship with. She spent all of her time between work and her little apartment. Social situations didn't just manifest themselves, as she imagined they would, and friends in a city as big as Seattle were proving hard to come by.

Right now, the look of triumph in Josh's eyes over their little squabble was too much for Holly to bear. "I'd rather sleep on the street than stand here and have the same argument with you over and over. Go to hell, Josh," she said, entering the living room in her second attempt to escape his presence.

Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were spread out across the living room of Josh's million-dollar estate watching a sports game after a very long day at the office. The three of them were growing more and more uncomfortable as they found themselves in the middle of the action, yet again.

"Listen to me closely, Holly. You aren't going back to that roach motel you call an apartment-_period_. And until you can afford to live suitably on your own or until you find a decent paying job, you're staying here and that's final. Not that a degree in Philosophy offers a wide variety of career options, good going on that one by the way, but I'm sure you'll find a nice little desk job soon enough. You _can_ type, can't you?" Josh said. The smirk on his face grew as he poured himself a glass of amber liquid from a decanter at his wet bar.

Holly's hands were balled into tight fists. Her knuckles were white. "Why can't you step down from your cross and have a real conversation with me, Josh? I have been looking night and day for a decent job, and guess what? I'm finding that they don't just fall out of the sky. Just because you had every opportunity handed to you on a silver platter, doesn't mean it's as easy for the rest of us," she yelled angrily and gestured to the rest of the group. She felt her face turn ten shades of red when she realized that she was gesturing towards three members of the Cullen family.

The Cullens were one of the wealthiest families in the Pacific Northwest, and _the_ wealthiest in Seattle by far.

She sighed and her shoulders sagged in defeat. "Forget it," she said, growing tired of the fight.

Holly walked through the large double doors that led to a marble balcony. She had to escape the crowd before her tears could betray her.

Josh cursed angrily under his breath and stormed off in the opposite direction, away from his family.

The others sat in the empty silence. They had never seen their brother-in-law act this up tight and overbearing before. All three of the guys had liked her instantly upon meeting her. She was polite and sweet and seemed like an all-around good-hearted kid. Edward even had feelings for her, although he told himself it was just gas.

"Well, that was sufficiently awkward," Jasper said, crossing his legs.

Edward looked at his two older brothers before he got up and crossed the room to follow her.

"Hey, where's the fire, bro? Oh, wait. I forgot. Little Eddie is in loooove," Emmett said dramatically, laughing hysterically at himself. Emmett was the quintessential big brother, always counted on for a thorough ribbing.

"Shut up, moron. Someone go smack some damn sense into Josh and tell him to quit acting like a degenerate," Edward said, and closed the big glass doors behind him.

Holly sat on the wide stone ledge on the far side of the balcony, letting her leg dangle over the side. The wind whipped her hair and, thankfully, dried her tears before they could manifest into twin trails of livid sorrow. She couldn't get the fight she just had with her brother out of her mind. It was just one of many they'd had in the past week since she'd had no choice but to show up at his front door looking like a bag lady begging for help.

When their father, Charlie, finally lost his battle with the bottle and succumbed to liver failure, Holly felt suffocated and more alone than she ever had in her entire life. She had devoted the last ten years taking care of someone who she had come to resent. She sacrificed her own possibilities, only to watch another man throw his away on a daily basis. After he was gone, she couldn't take being in that house any longer or living in that town for one more second. Once the arrangements with Charlie's assets finalized, which were pitiful at best, and the house was turned over to the bank, she split.

Seattle seemed the natural place to go. After all, it was the one place where the only remaining member of her family resided, and she hoped to be able to finally settle the rift that existed between her and Josh for almost a decade. She had only spoken to him a handful of times since he had left for college all those years ago. The last time being to let him know their father was deceased. The conversation they'd shared was too short and painfully impersonal, and while he footed the bill for the funeral, Joshua, himself, did not attend.

When she finally got to Seattle, Holly called him again to let him know she was in town and where he could find her, but the call went to voice mail. The first month was hard. Joshua didn't attempt to contact her back, and he wouldn't answer any of her calls. Holly was devastated that her only family, her big brother, wanted no part in her life.

Finally, during a particularly nasty storm, she woke at four in the morning to a foot of standing water in her bedroom. The apartment building was being evacuated, and she had no other option but to go to him. Leaving everything behind except the clothing she could manage to grab on the way out, she pulled the statement from the funeral bill out of her purse, the only item she had with his address on it, and drove around for hours trying to find his home. The Josh that greeted her was a man she didn't know. He was a bitter man.

The man that greeted her at the door that night was cold, distant, and didn't do much to veil his opinion that she was putting him out. Holly was crushed, but dared not let him know. Too much time had passed and too much had changed between them. They would both have to endure until she could make other arrangements, but his arrogance was unbearable. He was a total stranger to her now.

Before their mother died, Holly and Joshua were very close. They were a team. The only thing they ever fought over was their mother's attention. On that fateful day, as their mother rushed across town on slick and winding roads to get from Josh's scholarship award ceremony to Holly's piano recital, their lives and relationship changed forever.

He'd never said it aloud, but Holly knew that Josh blamed her for the car accident that killed their mother. It was easy for Holly to blame herself, as well. If their mother could have skipped just one recital, instead of being guilt tripped by Holly into attending both events, she wouldn't have had to stretch herself between the two siblings. Thoughts like that were hard for Holly to escape. They were even harder for Josh to run away from no matter how hard he'd tried.

Holly hated the thought of even staying one more night under Josh's roof, and anger made her skin crawl when she heard someone approaching her from behind. She whipped herself around defensively, preparing to go another round with Josh, but instead, found herself glaring at Edward. Her face softened at once, and she turned back around to lean against the balcony she was just sitting on. She was embarrassed that he had witnessed yet another shouting match between her and Josh, and she didn't know what to say.

"Nice night," Edward said tentatively.

"Yeah," Holly replied softly, looking out at the city lights. She hoped the darkness was enough to hide the crimson that was surely staining her cheeks.

Edward carefully stepped closer and leaned against the balcony next to her. "You're not really leaving are you?" he asked gently.

Holly turned her head and forced a smile for him. Every time she laid eyes on Edward she was floored at how unsettlingly perfect he was with his sparkling green eyes and careless bronze hair. The sleeves of his light blue dress shirt were rolled up over his lean muscular forearms, and her eyes lingered longer than appropriate.

She shivered and sighed, finally answering his question. "I have to. I can't stay here and continue to make his life miserable. What else can I do when the one person who is supposed to care about me resents me?" she asked hopelessly. Of course Edward had no words, and after a moment of awkward silence, Holly stood to leave.

Edward didn't know what to make of everything that had taken place in the last week. He didn't even know Josh had a sister until she appeared out of nowhere. When his father, Carlisle, made Joshua McNamera a partner in the family law firm, and Cullen and Sons became Cullen McNamera, he became part of their family. Later, when Josh managed to sweep his little sister, Alice, off her feet and they were married, he became a true brother to Edward. It disturbed Edward that he never mentioned his sister and that he chose not to make her a part of his life, especially knowing both of their parents were gone and she had no one.

Edward couldn't fathom the thought. Family was everything to the Cullens, and Josh's blatant disregard for someone so in need was unsettling. In the time he spent with Holly during the past week, when Josh wasn't around, he got to know how sweet-natured and wonderful she was. Twice, on nights he knew Josh would be pulling an all-nighter at the office, he went out of his way to spend time with Holly. They would make dinner and watch movies or just talk late into the night. Edward couldn't help himself. He felt a strong conviction to make a connection with Holly; she was in dire straits, and all she needed was a friend. She certainly wasn't getting that from her older brother.

Currently, Alice was away on a business trip in London but would be returning to Seattle in just two days. Josh would have no choice but to tell her about the part of his past she never knew existed. Josh shamefully begged Edward, Emmett, and Jasper not to say a word to her. He said he wanted to be the one to tell her the truth. It took a lot of convincing, but his request seemed fair enough, and they finally conceded, promising not to say a word. Their promise also entailed not telling Esme, Rosalie, or Carlisle, as they would never be so easily swayed to betray Alice.

They used the guise of work and the need to finish up the Volturi case as an excuse to avoid being home any more than absolutely necessary, but with Alice arriving in just two more days, Edward knew that all hell was about to break loose. He also knew that Holly would be yanked into the Cullen clan whether Josh liked it or not. Alice was coming home, and she would not be happy. Josh was in for a thorough lashing from his wife. Of that, Edward was certain.

Holly was almost to the door when Edward called after her. "Wait." In desperation, he said the first words that came to his mind. "Before you leave, will you have dinner with me?" he asked and smiled. "Don't say no."

Holly chewed on her lip before settling a split-second argument going on in her head between right and wrong. Josh would be furious with her. _Oh hell, what else is new?_ she thought. "All right," she said with a shy smile. "Can we not tell Josh about this? It would be for the good of everyone, I think."

Edward clamped his mouth shut and pretended to twist a key and throw it over the balcony. Holly smiled again and turned, quickly making her way into the house.

Thank you for reading! Please continue the journey with us!


	2. Chapter 2

Two

Holly didn't want Josh to know who she was going out with tonight, so she told Edward to meet her at pier 54 in front of Ivar's restaurant at six o'clock, instead of him picking her up like he had wanted. He disputed, but Holly argued her point and talked him into a low-key dinner. She insisted on nothing fancy or complicated, but as much as she tried to control them, her nerves were getting the best of her.

She was positive that Edward had to be one of the city's most eligible bachelors and knew for a fact, he could have any socialite in Washington he wanted. Instead, he chose to spend his free time with Holly, a struggling post-graduate who had a tumultuous relationship with her only family member.

Edward was caring, brilliant, funny, and beyond gorgeous. He'd been so kind to her throughout the past week, and she enjoyed every second of time they'd spent together. Even though she was sure the attention he was paying her was out of pity, she still relished his company. Edward was the first person she'd had a real conversation with in the month and a half since she'd come to Seattle.

He had a way of making her nervous for no reason. Edward was special. She tried to rationalize it, but just couldn't make sense of the extra attention he paid her. However, after several impromptu visits from him, she stopped trying to make heads or tails of his interest. He mesmerized her, and the more alone time he graced her with, the less she cared about the logistics of it. He was genuine and kind and wanted to know all about her, asking a million questions about her life, both before and after Josh had left.

The day Holly arrived on Josh's doorstep, she was hurt when she walked into a room full of confused faces. Having no choice, Josh introduced her to Edward, Emmett, and Jasper as his sister. Apparently, she had crashed their early morning briefing and unknowingly backed Josh into a corner. He had to tell the truth; there was no other way out.

The guys were shockingly welcoming to her. But after her brother rushed her up the stairs to get cleaned up and into bed to rest, Holly heard them arguing down below. They were all blown away when they found out there was a living, breathing part of his past that he'd never intended on revealing to them.

After showering and managing to get her light brown bundle of waves into some sort of order, Holly slipped into a pair of tight jeans and a blue sweater that casually fell off her shoulder from time to time. She checked the clock, racing around the spacious guest room that was more like a luxurious suite at a ritzy hotel rather than a bedroom. It was five o'clock, and she had just enough time to grab her keys and run out the door.

She tried not to let herself think too much about Edward as she made her way downtown. She decided it was best for the unsuspecting citizens of Seattle if she just concentrated on driving, instead of his smile or the sound of his voice when he said her name.

Soon, she arrived at their meeting—spot—the large, iron time clock that was directly across from Ivar's—and found somewhere to park. It had been a rare cloudless day in Seattle, and Holly was enjoying the feel of the sun on her face.

Fifteen minutes later, she started to wonder if he'd forgotten about her, but before her mood could turn into disappointment she spotted him. He was a vision in dark jeans, a gray fitted T-shirt, and charcoal sport jacket.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Holly. Traffic is a nightmare down here. I can't believe you make this journey every day," he said, taking long strides to close the gap between them.

Holly smiled. "All part of living the dream," she declared whimsically. The sound of his laughter made her heart soar.

"Well, I hope you can forgive me for giving us a late start," he said, offering her a single yellow rose.

She accepted the flower and held it to her nose, taking in its delicate sent. "Thank you, Edward. It's beautiful."

He pushed a windblown curl out of her eyes. "You're beautiful, Holly," he softly remarked.

His boldness caught her off guard; she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. Edward offered her his arm, and they walked leisurely down the pier.

"So, what did you tell Josh about your plans for the night?" he asked her casually, although he was really very curious about her brother's reaction to their date.

Holly frowned at the mention of Josh's name. "Nothing. I don't have to explain myself to him. He's not my father," she commented defiantly.

Edward smiled at her. He was unconvinced but highly amused by her petulance. Her ire reminded him of an angry kitten—vehement, yet harmless. "That's why you wouldn't let me pick you up?" he asked teasingly

She twisted her face, trying not to smile. He had her there.

Eventually, they wound up at a small seafood restaurant that floated on the water, where they drank white wine and nibbled at huge platters of fruit and fresh seafood. They sat at a waterside table, and there was an abundance of mindless, comfortable chatter. An electrically charged current filled in the space between them.

Holly was glad she decided on wearing a sweater. She could feel every single hair on her body standing on end as she sat in the midst of Edward Cullen's enigmatic energy. She was surprised when he decided to bring Josh up again.

"So, what exactly happened between you and your brother? Obviously, he never went into detail about his family, except a few stories about your mother before she passed away." He inquired casually, taking a sip of wine. When she didn't answer right away, he realized he may have touched on a sore subject for her. "Please forgive me, Holly. I hope I didn't upset you."

Holly looked into his seemingly endless emerald eyes and smiled, kicking his leg lightly under the table. "You know you're in trouble when your date is only interested in talking about your brother," she teased with a wink. _Must be the wine,_ she thought.

Edward smiled, but his eyes remained pensive as he leaned into her. "I'm sorry to keep bringing it up, but I worry about you. Do you, at least, know what you are going to do?" he asked.

"God, you're cute when you try to be serious," Holly asserted and blushed. She silently cursed her third glass of pino.

"I am serious," he replied in a low voice.

A chill ran down her spine when his breath reached her neck, and she realized he wasn't going to let her off easily. She sighed. "Honestly, I'm not really sure what to do. It's all been a little overwhelming, and everything here is so different from where I came from." She looked to him, and he nodded encouragingly for her to continue. "At first, I was so excited, you know? I came out here with the best intentions of starting a new life and starting over with Josh, but nothing is going the way I thought it would. It just seems like everything I thought would happen has turned to dust right in front of my eyes. I don't know, maybe Josh is right. Maybe I'm not ready to be a big girl in the city. I can't believe I've even begun to consider it, but I'll probably end up moving back home," she admitted, shuddering at the thought but trying to be realistic about her situation.

Edward choked on his wine. "You mean, home_,_ as in, _Forks_?" he asked, coughing and sputtering, trying to clarify her obscene declaration.

She laughed and wiped a spot of wine from his chin with her napkin. "Yes, home, as in, Forks. It's the only place I can go that's far enough away from Josh; he can get his life back to normal and forget I even exist," she finished dolefully.

Edward regained himself and shook his head with a chuckle of disbelief. "Just wait 'til Alice finds out about you. There will be no going back, and Josh will just have to remember what family is all about," he retorted.

Holly took in a deep breath. Alice, well Mrs. McNamera now. Josh was married. She had a sister-in-law and never even knew it.

They were interrupted when their server appeared with another bottle of wine. Edward nodded his head, accepting the wine and dismissing the waiter. He refilled both of their glasses and took a long drink. Holly opted for ice water instead, figuring she'd toyed with her limits long enough.

Edward nudged her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. His gaze was soft, and his long fingers warmed her face. "There is nothing for you in Forks. You have every opportunity waiting for you here. You just need to get your feet on the ground, and you'll be fine. You're beyond capable of finding your way. Just don't let your brother's weird manifestation of protection, fear, or whatever it is that he's projecting towards you, convince you otherwise. You're a fighter, Holly. Don't lay down now," he urged reassuringly.

Holly was surprised and captivated by the conviction in Edwards words. He spoke as if what he was saying were an absolute truth that he was innately convinced of. His avowal of her ability felt foreign to Holly. It had been a very long time since anyone expressed any sort of belief in her, or held any level of faith in her.

She shook herself from her reverie and stood up, pulling him up with her. "Come on, Edward. I don't want to think about this anymore tonight. Let's take a walk," she said with a smile.

Edward tossed a large bill on the table—plenty to cover their meal and still leave a generous tip for their waiter—and led her out of the restaurant and into the brisk evening air. Hand-in-hand, they strolled up and down the boardwalk, talking and laughing over Edward's family stories. By the way he described them, the Cullens were an extremely tight-knit family, and spent much of their time together.

Her stomach hurt from laughter at tales of Emmett's wife, Rosalie, her iron fist, and of Emmett's dim wits. Of Alice's inherent need to micromanage everyone and everything, and as a result, Jasper's resounding fear of women.

Edward spoke from his heart with pure love for each member of his family, especially when he spoke of his parents, Carlisle and Esme. With great regard, he described the irrevocable, impenetrable bond they shared. Holly envied him having such wonderful role models to guide his family. After a while, Holly began to feel like she knew them all personally, and secretly hoped that someday she would.

Without thinking twice about it, Edward began to speak lovingly about Josh and Alice, even confiding that Josh is the best thing that's ever happened to his younger sister. Apparently, he was the only one who could ever tame her.

Edward glanced at Holly and recognized a bittersweet sadness in her eyes. To make her smile again, Edward told her about the time Josh ate some bad sushi at a business meeting in Japan his rookie year at the firm, and consequently shit his pants in the boardroom. He had to run from the meeting with his suit jacket tied around his waist.

Holly was laughing so hard she had to lean against a streetlight to steady herself. "Oh, my God! How awful for him! He must have been _insane_ with embarrassment!" she exclaimed, covering her face with her hands.

Edward leaned against the post as well, their shoulders touching. He marveled at her beauty as she finished laughing, and realized it was admirable on her part that, no matter how poorly Josh treated her, she refused to speak ill of him. "I can't believe I told you that story. Your brother would kick my ass if he knew," he said, laughing and nudging her with his elbow.

Edward's proximity to her, and his intoxicating scent, made Holly feel more intoxicated than she really was.

She checked the delicate gold watch on her wrist, a token from her mother, in the glow of the streetlight, and her eyes popped. "Yeah, he'd definitely kick both of our asses if he knew I was out until one in the morning with you," she informed him, wondering where the night had gone.

"Do you really care?" he asked, eyeing her with a cocky grin. His mind was swimming in white wine, and he had the passing thought that maybe he shouldn't have over-indulged with a second bottle of wine, none of which was consumed by Holly.

Edward hoped he wasn't making a foul impression on her. This wasn't his typical behavior. He usually made it a point to be the one in control, but when he was around Holly, he felt anything but. There was a comfort level he experienced when he was with her that he hadn't shared with anyone else, apart from his family. He felt free and uninhibited, reckless even.

He should have been in bed hours ago, as he had to be at the courthouse bright and early. His alarm would be going off in just under four hours to make damn sure it happened. He had hours of briefing to do beforehand. His goal for the next day was to convince the jury to put the three Volturi brothers away for the rest of their natural lives with his closing argument; he had been writing and preparing for weeks.

He almost laughed when he realized that, at this wonderfully silly moment, he didn't care one bit about his self-imposed curfew. He would gladly stay up all night, as long as he was staring into those incredibly warm, hazel eyes.

Holly began to walk again, finally answering his question. "No, I don't care. However, I don't want Josh to start taking his crap out on you. You've done nothing wrong," she said, leading them back in the direction of her car.

"Neither have you," he reminded her quietly.

Holly pretended not to hear him, and they wandered through the car-lined street, finally spotting Holly's beat-up Toyota.

Edward took her elbow. "Listen, I don't want you to think I'm being too forward, but if something happens, please let me know before you do anything drastic. You're more than welcome to come to my home anytime. My door is always open to you. I just don't want you going away without saying goodbye," he told her with a bashful, crooked grin.

His closeness overwhelmed her senses. Every word he spoke that evening meant something to Holly. Without thinking twice about it, she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Edward was too stunned to move, and before he had the chance to respond as he wanted to, she pulled away from him and jumped into her car. His cheek tingled where her lips had pressed against them. He had daydreamed, but never expected to get a kiss from her. Grinning ear to ear, he watched her speed away.


	3. Chapter 3

Three

Josh's phone buzzed in his pocket. He retrieved the Blackberry and glanced at the caller ID, though he already knew it would be Alice. She called him every morning whenever she was away on business to wake him up with an 'I love you'. Little did she know, he had been awake all night, dreading this day. Alice would be on her way back to the states soon, and he still had no clear plan for how to introduce Holly as his sister or himself as a liar.

"Hello, darling," he said, trying to sound normal.

Alice's voice was warm with love. "Hello, handsome. Miss me?"

Josh rubbed his forehead. A migraine had forced its way to the surface about a week ago and set up residence in his frontal lobe. "More than you can possibly know, baby. Listen, I booked our room at the Four Seasons for tonight. I have already arranged for the driver to take you straight there instead of home. I really need to be alone with you," he finished, failing to remain casual. He must have sounded as stressed out as he felt, because Alice was alert at once.

"Is everything okay? What's wrong, Joshua?" she asked.

Despite the coming nightmare, he reveled in the sound of his wife's voice. In about twelve hours, he wasn't sure if she would still be quite so concerned with his well-being.

"Everything and everyone is fine, Alice. I just miss you like crazy. It's been a hell of a week, and I just need to be near you. There is something... important I need to discuss with you."

Alice's voice was loving and comforting. "Of course, baby. I spoke to my mom earlier, and she said it's been an especially rough week for you guys. She's worried to death about the amount of stress you have all been under. She told me she's hardly seen you or my brothers since last Sunday at dinner. Will you be at the hotel by the time I get there? I know today is a big day for you in court, and I know you'll do great, but I need to see you, too. I have some pretty exciting news of my own, Josh," she said with a hint of excitement in her voice. "Wait, what do you need to talk to _me_ about? You said it's important?" she prodded curiously.

Josh picked out a gray tie to go with his navy suit. "We'll talk later, darling. Carlisle is waiting for me at the courthouse. I'll see you tonight. I love you so much, Alice." His voice was shaking.

Alice's hesitation was a declaration of her concern and confusion. "I love you more. Please be there when I get there. I'll be in Seattle at six," she said.

"I will. Have a good flight. I'll see you at six," Josh said and hung up.

He hated himself for many reasons but right now, he hated himself for knowing that in just twelve short hours he would be breaking the heart of the most important person in his life. His beautiful, loving, slightly crazy wife would find out that her husband was not who she thought he was. He didn't exactly lie about where he came from, or his life before he left for college and never looked back, he had just omitted anything that had to do with Holly, which was a lot.

Who was he kidding? May as well call a spade a spade.

He lied. Big time. And for that, karma had shown up on his doorstep last week to bite him in the ass.

Seeing Holly again shocked him even harder than he'd imagined it would. His heart wrenched when he looked into her eyes. They were the eyes of their mother. In fact, she was the spitting image of their mother, especially now that she was an adult. He pulled the faded photograph of Irene out of his wallet and squeezed his eyes shut. They were virtually identical with the same light brown waves, the same hazel eyes flecked with gold, and the same heart-shaped face. The similarities between them made it so hard for Josh to look Holly in the eyes, let alone to accept or love her.

He had blamed Holly for their mother's death when he was seventeen; it was a ridiculous and far-fetched excuse to not look at her or hear her voice. He'd shut her out completely and locked himself away. He knew he could no longer hide behind ludicrous accusations that held no merit. Of course, Holly _wasn't_ responsible for their mother's accident. He knew this, but fought tooth and nail with reason.

For years, he had pushed down all that he knew was true and right, and clung to his self-manifested hatred for the girl. As terrible as it was, he found that it was easier than going back to that place in his life and dealing with the scars that ran so deep. Josh had built himself a new life, a full life, which had nothing to do with his sister, their father, or any memories of Forks and his past.

On the outside, he lived a life of gleaming perfection, but the veneer was tarnished. It was marred with guilt. So many times he'd had fleeting thoughts of calling Holly up to say how wrong he'd been and how much he loved her, or jumping in his car and driving to Forks to rescue her from that ghost of a man and poor excuse of a father, Charlie. Of course, he never did any of those things, and however well intended his thoughts were, his actions were sedentary.

Becoming a prosecuting attorney was one way Josh dealt with the guilt of leaving Holly with an empty life. Every time he put a crazed killer or serial rapist behind bars, he was helping a victim the way he could never bring himself to help Holly. He was also helping them find the road to closure the way he never had himself.

Instead of helping his sister, he ran. Now, after ten years of running full-speed, his legs were no longer up to the challenge. Soon, all the mileage he'd put behind him would be for nothing. He was in a corner that he couldn't get himself out of, a position he'd tried to avoid by building his career.

He rubbed his temples, trying to massage the relentless migraine away, and left the bedroom, grabbing his briefcase on the way. Holly's door was open a crack, and he quietly slipped into her room. She was in a deep, peaceful sleep and, at that moment, she could have been thirteen years old again.

Tears stung the corners of Josh's eyes. "What the hell have I done to you, Holly?" he murmured.

Holly stirred but didn't wake.

She didn't deserve to be left alone to deal with life all by herself. She shouldn't have had to waste her youth taking care of a drunk, emotionally abusive father who was never able to look beyond his own misery. She deserved far better than the life Josh's absence had created for her.

When she appeared out of nowhere, a part of him, the part of himself that he hated the most, had hoped that his anger would make her disappear again-drive her away. Only she didn't run away like he had. Holly was much stronger than he was.

Things couldn't continue like this, and he knew it. He loved her, and owed her much more than he could ever repay.

What would his mother, _their_ mother, possibly think of how he'd acted, or the deplorable manner he regarded his baby sister? He already knew the answer to that one. Surely, she would be as disappointed with Josh as he was with himself.

There was a special place in hell awaiting his arrival-of that, Josh was positive. All he could do now was beg for Holly and Alice's forgiveness-however undeserving he felt.

_"This is Megan O'Conner with Fox News. I'm live outside the courthouse in downtown Seattle, where earlier today three members of the Volturi family were found guilty of multiple counts of embezzlement, as well as several counts of drug and human trafficking. The trial that has lasted more than eleven months finally came to an end today, with Caius, Marcus, and Aro Volturi each facing six consecutive twenty-year sentences. No word yet on when, or if, they'll be eligible for parole. The Volturi family founded Three Brothers, Inc. back in 1990 as an organization that solicited money from some of the country's largest corporations for various charitable causes. After several witnesses, as well as victims, stepped forward in June of last year, the brothers were arrested and have been held in the city jail ever since. Later tonight, they will be transported to Washington State Prison. The trial of the year has come to a long-awaited end. Here is what the Volturi's team of attorneys had to say about the verdict..." _

Carlisle clicked the TV off and turned to face his sons. "It's finally over. All of your hard work and dedication to this case has paid off. You guys were amazing today, and I'm proud of each of you. Joshua, Jasper, and Emmett, you did a great job convincing the witnesses to testify in person. The jury couldn't ignore those brave women. Edward, your closing arguments were brilliant. It took all of an hour for the jury to deliberate, and I'm confident that your words are what sealed the deal. And Josh, I don't want you to worry about the witnesses; they are protected and safely tucked away."

Despite the drama and tension of the last week, the five of them pulled together and came out victorious. Everyone had reason to celebrate.

Carlisle continued, "So, how about it, guys? Shall we celebrate at Gianni's tonight?"

Emmett clapped Carlisle on the back. "Hell, yeah! And in two weeks, Rose and I will be in Bora Bora," Emmett said, rubbing his big hands together in anticipation.

"Yes, we could all use a vacation. I'd like to see each of you take some time off to regroup. How about you, Josh? Alice will be home soon, will you two be joining us for dinner and drinks?" Carlisle asked.

Josh tried not to sound as weary as he felt. "Alice and I will be at the Four Seasons tonight. It's been a rough week, and I miss my wife," he said genuinely.

Carlisle nodded. "Of course, then we'll see you two at dinner on Sunday. The rest of you I'll see tonight at Gianni's-seven sharp."

Josh nodded as the patriarch of the family left the room, adjourning their meeting. He took a deep breath and looked up to find everyone staring at him expectantly. He sighed and answered the question in everyone's head. "Yes, I'm telling Alice tonight and, if she doesn't kick me out on my ass, I'll be introducing Holly to the rest of the family at Sunday dinner."

Emmett leaned in close and pointed a finger in Josh's face. "Good, because I don't like lying to my wife for you," he sneered.

Josh batted his hand away. "I said I was telling her, alright? This isn't the kind of thing I wanted to bring up on the phone while she was thousands of miles away," Josh defended.

"You're right, it's the kind of thing you tell someone on a first date, or when you get engaged, or at some point before you get to the altar," Emmett shot back.

The anger drained from Josh's face as he was shamed into silence.

"Enough, Emmett. Josh is our brother; I'm sure he has his reasons. The important thing is that Holly is here, and she is safe. We all need to lay low for a while. There happens to be an entire bloodthirsty family who would love to see all of our heads on a big silver platter," Jasper reminded him, bringing them all back to reality.

"Jasper's right," Josh agreed. "We all need to stay out of the spotlight for a while, and I think everyone needs to reinforce the security around your homes as well. I am going to offer Holly a job at the firm to keep her close. I'm sure Alice could use her help in PR."

Edward leaned forward, suddenly intrigued.

Jasper nodded solemnly. "Good idea, Josh."

Emmett flipped a pen across the room, nailing Edward in the chest. "Do you hear that, Edward? No more gallivanting around town with socialites and putting your mug all over page six. And no more dates with Holly on the boardwalk; it's too risky for both of you," he told him.

Edward shot his loud-mouthed brother an icy look.

"What date? What is he talking about, Edward?" Josh asked warily, turning to his youngest brother-in-law.

Edward sighed. "It's nothing, Josh. We just had dinner," he explained, launching the pen back at Emmett's head, narrowly missing his target.

Emmett laughed at him, but Josh ignored their actions. "No, no, no, _hell_ no! What are you even thinking, man? You can have any woman you want in Seattle, so why Holly? There is no way in hell I'm going to stand by and watch you make a fool out of her. She's not one of your bimbo socialites, who you can just use to get your kicks, then discard like a piece of trash. You don't know her-"

Edward cut him off. "Stop right there, Josh. I know I haven't been a saint in the past, and I get why you would feel the need to have this talk with me. I'm telling you right now, you can save your breath. I wouldn't dream of hurting Holly. And since when are you all about being the big brother? You've spent the last week doing your best to make her feel like an intruder. Unlike you, I've actually taken the time to get to know her, and guess what? She's warm, and genuine, and I know she loves the shit out of you; so feel free to quit treating her like a thorn in your side and start regarding her as a real human being." Edward said, feeling his anger rise. At some point, he had stood up and was now glaring down at Josh.

Josh stood up to meet him at eye level, but he spoke with an even tone. "You don't know the first thing about her or what she's been through, Edward."

Edward didn't allow him to elaborate. "No, _you_ don't know the first thing about her. She doesn't need someone treating her like dirt and belittling her every move, okay? She swallowed that pill everyday for the last ten years, taking care of the mess you left behind. I know more than you think, and what she _needs_ is a friend. I'm happy to be there for her if you refuse to be," he hissed, snatching his jacket off the table, and slamming the door on his way out of the office.

Josh slumped back down in his chair and stared miserably at the table in front of him as Emmett followed Edward out of the room, slamming the door again.

Jasper exhaled slowly and walked around the conference table, resting a hand on Josh's shoulder. "I don't know the whole story, Josh, but I know this must be hard for you. It's also hard for Holly. Maybe you could ease up on her a little. Try getting to know her again instead of trying to fight with her all the time. If I know Alice, and I sure as shit do, I know that it's going to take all of two seconds for her to fall in love with Holly. Who wouldn't? She's a great girl, and she's family. And while you're in the dog house, the best thing you can do is figure out how to fit her back into your life again. You know if there's anything I can do or if you need to talk, I'm here, bro," he reassured.

Josh sighed, and his shoulders sagged. "You're right, Jasper. Thank you for being so nice to me through all this. I sure as hell don't deserve it."

Jasper clapped a hand on his back, and they headed out of Carlisle's office. "Come on, let's get out of here. You'll be in the eye of Hurricane Alice in just a few hours. I suggest you get a bite to eat and try to rest a little. It's going to be a long night," Jasper advised, as they stepped into the elevator.

He knew Jasper was right again, but first, Josh needed to make sure Holly was going to stay put tonight. No working at that seedy bar for her-it was too dangerous. No one knew that Josh had a sister, but the Volturi family was very well connected, and he wouldn't put anything past them. It wouldn't take much digging for them to find out that he was not an only child. He knew that if they couldn't get to _him_, they would hurt Holly to make him suffer, to draw him out.

Josh bid farewell to Jasper, and quickly made his way out of the parking garage, driving through the streets of downtown Seattle with haste. He dialed the main number to his house as he merged his Mercedes sedan onto the freeway. The line was answered on the third ring by Rico, the groundskeeper of his estate.

"Rico, I need you to go into the garage, and remove the battery from the blue Honda," he said, weaving in and out of traffic.

"You mean _Señorita_ Holly's car? But why, _señor_?" Rico asked, confused by his employer's odd request.

"Rico, the people we put away today are dangerous. There is no need to panic, but it may not be safe for her to go downtown alone for a while. I don't want her going to work tonight, but if I ask her to stay myself, she will leave just to spite me. Please take care of it immediately. And make sure the alarm for the house and perimeter is set and active," Josh instructed firmly.

Rico pressed the matter no further. "Yes, _señor_. What time should I expect you and Miss Alice to arrive?"

Josh was off the freeway and making his way to the Four Seasons. "Don't expect us. We will be away for the night. Just please make sure Holly stays at the house. And if she asks about her car, act stupid."

Rico was wary but did not question Josh's instructions any further. "Right away, _señor_."

Josh hung up just in time for the valet to open his door. Josh gave the young driver a generous tip, as they traded places. A sandy-haired bellhop he recognized, but whose name escaped him, took his bag and placed it purposefully onto a gold cart.

"Right this way, Mr. McNamera. Mrs. McNamera is already enjoying the suite," the young man informed him with a smile, leading him through the posh lobby of the hotel.

Josh's mouth went dry. She must have taken an earlier flight to surprise him. It worked.

"Thank you," Josh choked out.

As they boarded the elevator, Josh prepared himself to journey to the past with the only person he saw when he thought about his future.


	4. Chapter 4

Four

Holly spent the day lounging by Josh's enormous, lushly landscaped pool, reading a selection from his library. _To Kill a Mockingbird_ was a classic favorite of hers. Holly had read it at least a hundred times and never grew bored with it.

Josh's estate was immaculate, and everywhere she turned there was something new and amazing to look at. He had always appreciated art, but Holly was stunned at the vast collection he boasted. Before their mother's accident, he would wake Holly up early on Saturday mornings, and they would spend the entire day driving into the city to check out the newest exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum. Now, he had a virtual museum of his own. He had several pieces by artists that Holly recognized, and many more that she wasn't familiar with.

Holly checked the time on her phone and sighed. It was already going on four o'clock; the day had flown by. She dragged herself away from the pool, and another freakishly sunny day, to make something to eat before her shift. It was time to start getting ready for work, and the thought made her wrinkle her nose.

She wandered through the living room and saw Rico gaping at the TV, wringing his hands. Her jaw dropped when she looked at the big screen that hung on the wall and saw Edward. Not just Edward - she recognized Josh, Emmett, and Jasper, as well. They were bulldozing their way through a sea of news cameras, dodging the microphones that were being hurled at their faces. She rushed over to stand next to the kind, middle-aged groundskeeper and catch the action. They watched in silence as the story unfolded.

One would have to be living under a rock not to know at least _something_ about the Volturi case. Everyone knew the story and the awful things they did with those poor women, not to mention the millions of dollars that were intended for charity. However, up to this point, she was completely unaware that the Cullens' firm was the one trying to take them down. In hindsight, she realized that they never talked about their work around her, and Edward never mentioned it during their time together.

She was absolutely stunned, and when the newswoman announced the guilty verdict, her heart swelled with pride for her brother - for all of them. It was as if they were modern-day heroes. She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that the once awkward and gangly boy that she grew up with was part of the team, along with Edward, that was responsible for bringing justice down on the Volturi family.

None of the guys made a statement to the press. When the newsbreak ended and normal daytime television resumed, Holly realized that she and Rico were clutching each other's hands. Rico murmured a prayer in Spanish and made the sign of the cross over his chest, and they hugged.

Rico pulled back and looked into Holly's eyes with tears in his own. "_Tu hermano es muy valiente_," he declared, kissing her hands and quickly retreating back to work.

With all thoughts of food forgotten, Holly stood alone in the middle of the kitchen, trying to grasp what she'd just seen. Shaking herself from her stupor, she turned and ran through the living room and up the stairs, unable to keep her own tears from spilling over. They were tears of pride and of a love she hadn't felt in a very long time. They were also tears of sadness for all of the years she and Josh had let come between them.

Holly didn't know if they would ever be close again, but at that moment, she realized she didn't want to fight with Josh anymore. She wanted to hug her brother and weep like a baby. She wanted to congratulate him and apologize to him for storming into his life unwelcomed and unknowing of all that he was going through.

She didn't want to put Josh through the pain of reliving his past any longer. If he could only find happiness and success when Holly wasn't included in his life, then the least she could do was accept that and walk away quietly with no hard feelings. He belonged here with Alice and Edward and the rest of the Cullens in their wondrous and divine universe.

He'd worked hard his whole life to be something great, and it was plain to see that he really and truly was. She didn't fit in here with the Cullens the way he did. She belonged in Forks, living a life of comfortable mediocrity. Only a couple more weeks, and she would have enough money saved to go back to Forks and put money down on a place of her own.

Edward's face flashed in her mind, and the mystery of why he was drawn to her was greater than ever. His world and hers were two spheres that didn't exist in the same galaxy. She felt less worthy of his friendship than she ever had before.

Holly had barged into their lives and found herself in the middle of an amazing group of people who did amazing things for the good of so many. And then there was Holly: little, insignificant, not quite fitting into the puzzle, clinging to the outskirts, uninvited and unwanted Holly. The awareness that she was nothing more than a blemish in their refined world was painfully clear.

Washing her tears away in the shower, she let the Jetstream soak her to the core until the water ran cold. Holly made quick work of getting ready for her shift at The Drinking Horn, drying herself off and throwing on a pair of faded jeans and a thin, black sweater. She dried her hair into a wild mass of waves and shoved her apron into her purse.

She dashed down the stairs with renewed clarity. Her new-found insight put her in a strangely euphoric state of mind. She felt like she was floating, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Shouting goodbye to Rico, wherever he was, she ran from the main house through a light evening drizzle to the garage. Holly shoved the key into the ignition and frowned when nothing happened. She tried again and was met with silence. Not a shudder, not a click - nothing.

After waiting a few long moments, she said a little prayer and tried once more. It was not going to happen. She checked the time on her phone and sighed heavily. She was already running behind and now only had twenty minutes to get to work.

"Crap." She groaned aloud before climbing out of the car and stomping back into the house.

Rico was watering the vast array of houseplants, trying to pretend that he didn't notice how obviously perturbed she was. He sighed in relief when she walked past him without a glance. It hadn't occurred to Holly to ask him about the vehicle, which he rendered useless earlier that day at his boss's request.

Holly pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number to the bar. After several rings, the surly bartender, who went by the name 'Caveman' answered.

"Yeah!" he shouted over the loud music.

"Caveman, it's Holly. Look, when James comes in, could you tell him that I won't make it in tonight? My car won't start; it's the weirdest thing," she said loudly into the phone.

There was a moment of silence. "Who is this?" Caveman yelled angrily.

Holly rolled her eyes. "It's Holly McNamera. You know, the waitress?" she yelled even louder.

"Oh, Holly. All right, I'll tell him. Oh, yeah, there was someone in here asking for you earlier. Don't remember her name - young girl with blonde hair. Wait, I think she said her name was Jan or maybe Janet. Hell, I don't remember. Try to get that cute little ass in here as soon as you can. It's busy as batshit in here tonight," he pleaded.

Holly was about to reply, but he'd already hung up on her. She couldn't imagine who would be looking for her, and she didn't know anyone named Jan or Janet. In fact, the only people she knew in Seattle, besides the rowdy crew of The Drinking Horn, were her brother and the three Cullen boys.

She didn't give it much more thought, focusing instead on her sudden abundance of free time. She had stayed at the house all day, and with no car, she would be stuck there all night, as well. She looked out the window with a frown and watched the rain as it fell in sheets. Pool time was over.

According to the note on the fridge from Josh, Holly had the house to herself for the night. Apparently, he was meeting Alice at a hotel to tell her about the sister she never knew he had. Despite the fact that Edward had told Holly that Alice would be happy to meet her, she was nervous. She was afraid Alice would agree with Josh that their lives were just fine without her in it.

Just then, Rico appeared in his raincoat and hat. He carefully walked her through the process of setting the alarm. She armed and disarmed the system twice before he was convinced that she wouldn't screw it up.

"Are you sure you have to go so soon?" Holly asked, feeling a little silly. She wasn't looking forward to spending a night alone in Josh's sprawling mansion.

Rico smiled sweetly. "My family, _señorita _- my girls are expecting their papa. I must go."

Holly walked him to the door, and he turned to her with serious brown eyes. "You must activate the alarm as soon as you close the door. Please, _señorita_, do not forget."

Smiling at his concern, she nodded. "I promise I will. Drive carefully, Rico. It's really coming down out there."

With a nod and a smile, Rico walked toward the garage, turning once more to yell something at her about the alarm. Holly waved at him and did as she was instructed, locking the door and punching the code into the lighted keypad. It beeped three times to indicate the alarm system was activated.

Holly turned on the TV and flipped through the news channels, catching glimpses of the story that would be repeated for weeks to come. Every time she caught a glimpse of Edward, her stomach would drop and her heart would flutter wildly. Would she ever get used to how flawless he was? After half an hour of irregular palpitations, she turned the TV off and threw herself against the back of the couch. She needed a distraction.

Unsure of what to do with herself, Holly wandered around the main floor, exploring the rooms she had yet to see. She found a full-sized gym and made a mental note to revisit the elliptical machine soon. She used to jog the hiking trails in Forks regularly - an excuse to escape the thick gloom of her father's house - but hadn't worked up a real sweat since coming to the city.

She strolled to the end of the hallway and stood before an intriguing set of double doors. With her fingertips on the ornate door handles, she paused a moment, wondering how annoyed Josh would be with her snooping around. She justified her actions by promising herself she wouldn't touch anything. As soon as Holly opened the doors and laid eyes on the beautiful, gleaming-white grand piano, she knew her promise was empty. The regal instrument stood in the middle of a large room with gray marble floors and glass walls that looked out over the manicured grounds.

Walking gingerly around the expensive piece, she let her fingers walk the keys. It had been five years since Holly had to sell the old box piano her mother had bought for her at a second hand store. She remembered that day as the most wretched she'd experienced since losing her mother. It was also the day she began to resent her father, rather than pity him. His refusal to go back to work and help her out with the bills led her to sell her most prized possession and the last remaining shred of her happiness.

Holly took a seat on the lush, red-velvet covered bench and closed her eyes. Her fingers scaled expertly down the line of keys, and she smiled. The piano was perfectly tuned.

She began playing a piece that she had started composing shortly before she said goodbye to her old piano but never got the chance to finish. She picked up right where she left off, and Edward's face filled her mind as she played. Holly used the allure of his emerald green eyes, the sturdy angle of his strong jaw, and the soft curve of his full lips as her muse. She let herself daydream what it would feel like to be wrapped in his strong arms and feel the brush of his lips on her neck.

These visions of Edward's masculinity created the melody for her. The notes fell from thin air and flowed through her fingers, continuing the story of her heart that began so long ago. With her eyes shut tight, Holly was void of all sense of time and space. It was a wonderful release.

Opening her eyes to the dimly lit room, she screamed when she saw a figure leaning against the doorframe watching her.

"Whoa, it's okay, Holly. It's just me," Edward said, tentatively walking towards her.

Holly's eyes focused, and she swallowed the lump of fear that balled up like a fist in her throat. "Edward, you scared me to death! How did you get in here? I'm positive the alarm was set." She took a deep breath to steady her heart.

Edward laughed lightly and took a seat next to her. The bench wasn't made for two, and their sides were pressed together from shoulder to knee. The chill of fear was instantly gone from her body, replaced by his warmth.

"It's my sister's house. They're used to me barging in whenever I want. I didn't want you to be alone tonight, so I thought I'd come over and keep you company. What were you playing just now? I didn't recognize the piece."

Holly's cheeks flared up when she realized that, for God knows how long, Edward had been listening to her play. He'd heard the outward and intimate expression of how he made her feel. Even though the notes were meaningless to him, Holly felt as if he'd seen her naked.

"It was nothing, really. I was just playing from memory. Free flowing mostly. I'm pretty rusty; it's been such a long time," she mumbled, deprecating her talent and stumbling over her words.

Edward was looking directly at her, but she refused to take her eyes off the ivory keys.

"It was enchanting, Holly. Please, play some more for me," he encouraged, nudging her lightly.

Holly swallowed hard and finally met his eyes. His nearness stole her breath. She didn't want to have to look away, but he looked like he wanted to kiss her. Her breath hitched, and she quickly turned back to the piano and began playing her song again. She thought she heard Edward laugh lightly at her evasion, but he sat politely and watched as she aptly worked the keys.

After a while, Edward skillfully began to follow along with her, harmonizing at the lower end of the scale. Holly couldn't help but smile. She looked over and caught a glimpse of Edward's wide, boyish grin, and a hiccup of laughter escaped her.

At one point, Holly's hand crossed over Edward's, and he caught her by the fingers. She turned her wide eyes to him once again, and something warm stirred deep inside of her belly. He was staring at her with a look utter desire. They were inches apart, and the only sounds she could hear were their shallow breathing and her own rapid pulse pounding in her ears.

"Holly, I just ..." Edward murmured huskily, his words failing him. He shook his head lightly at the effect she had on him before leaning down and placing his lips gently on hers.

Holly was completely stilled by him, mesmerized by the satiny soft touch of his lips against her own. She was so focused on memorizing every detail of his smell and the feel of his kiss that she forgot to respond.

Edward pulled back reluctantly, assuming he'd offended her. "I'm sorry, Holly. Perhaps I should have kept that to myself," he whispered regretfully.

Before he could pull away completely and give her some space, Holly grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him back to her. She crushed her lips against his. Edward responded immediately, wrapping one arm securely around her back while the other hand wove through her hair, pressing her as close to him as he could.

Holly's senses were consumed and overwhelmed by him. Her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's. Edward rubbed his hand from her waist up, his thumb grazing the side of her breast. The unexpected and wonderful sensation that his light touch sent down her spine caused Holly to sigh into his mouth. Edward growled in response, pulling her onto his lap. His hands ran up and down her back, and Holly threw her head back as he kissed a trail from her jaw to her collarbone.

Somewhere in the house, a door slammed.

"Did you hear that?" Holly whispered through swollen, tingling lips, her body stiffening.

"Mmm?" Edward mumbled, not yet ready to end the delicious escapade that had been nothing more than a frustrating fantasy for the last week.

When they both heard voices down the hall, Edward gently moved her off his lap and stood up.

As the voices got closer, he sighed in relief and sat back down at the piano. "It's just Alice and Josh. Guess she couldn't wait till tomorrow to meet you."

Holly's eyes went wide. She was in panic mode. Not only would Josh know she had been snooping, he would be furious when he put two and two together and figured out that she had thrown herself at Edward.

"Holly?" a lovely, feminine voice called.

"Oh, God," Holly whispered and stood up, not yet ready to face her sister-in-law for the first time. The thought ran through her head that she might just go into cardiac arrest if her heart rate didn't slow down soon.

"Breathe, Holly," Edward whispered softly and began playing a light melody on the piano.

The door creaked open, and a tiny brunette poked her head in. "Holly? Oh, Holly!" Alice exclaimed and ran across the room, pulling Holly into a shockingly strong embrace.

Holly looked at Edward for help over his sister's shoulder. He smiled but did not look up from his playing. Josh walked in shortly after Alice and shot Edward a knowing look but did not dare speak.

"Holly, I'm so happy to meet you. I'm so sorry that we didn't meet years ago like we should have. Come with me, we have so much to catch up on. Are you hungry? Joshua will order us all some dinner," Alice said, glaring at her husband as she pulled Holly out of the room and down the hallway.

She sat Holly down at the dining room table and took the seat next to her. She stared into Holly's eyes like she was looking at a helpless child. Holly noticed right away how beautiful Alice was, like every other member of the Cullen family she'd met so far.

Holly was nervous and didn't know what to say, so she decided to start simple. "Hi, Alice," she said meekly, chewing her bottom lip.

Alice's eyes filled with tears and then spilled over as she wrapped Holly in another long embrace.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

Joshua did as he was told and ordered dinner for everyone from Antonio's, a local Italian place that took pride in catering to the Cullens. Dinner was fairly quiet and a little uncomfortable for Holly. Especially when Edward would sneak glances at her and smile, causing her to blush fiercely.

When it was clear to Alice that Holly wasn't going to open up to her in the presence of the two boys, she decided it was time for them to leave. "All right, that's it. You guys have to go. You're making Holly uncomfortable, and we have a lot to talk about." She glanced at Edward, who wasn't paying attention to her, and put her hands on her hips. "Edward, don't you have something or _someone_ to be doing right now?" she said, gesturing in the direction of the door with her head.

Edward's eyes went wide, and Holly's face turned beet-red.

Edward cleared his throat and gathered his composure. "Thank you for that, Alice. No, I don't have any plans tonight, but I think I'll go home and catch up on my sleep," he said and turned to Holly. "I'll see you later, then."

Holly could feel Josh's eyes on her, waiting for her reaction. She nodded stiffly, refusing to meet Edward's gaze. Awkwardly, she turned back to her empty plate.

Once Edward left, Alice looked expectantly at Josh.

"Right. I think I'll go get some sleep myself. It's been a very long day," he said, sighing and starting for the living room.

Holly realized how long a day it had actually been for him when she remembered that, just hours earlier, she was watching her brother on the news.

"Josh," she said suddenly, and timidly walked to where he was.

He turned around, hands in his pockets. He looked truly drained.

Holly opened her mouth to speak but didn't know what to say, so she just did what felt natural. She closed the gap between them and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Josh," she said against his chest, unexpected tears filling her eyes.

He was surprised by her action and her words. What on earth did _she_ have to be sorry for? Josh pulled his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms tightly around her, embracing his sister for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

He fought his own tears from surfacing and whispered, "No, Holly, _I'm_ sorry-for everything."

They hugged for several moments before Holly finally pulled back. "Goodnight, Josh. And really, thank you for letting me stay here. I promise it won't be much longer," she reassured him, her voice no more than a ragged whisper.

There was so much Josh wanted to say, but he noticed that Alice was growing impatient. "We'll talk about that tomorrow. Just don't worry about a thing," he said, placing a hand on the side of her face, before he turned away and retreated up the stairs.

Holly took a deep, cleansing breath and turned back to Alice, who was waiting with a smile and a mug of hot cocoa.

"Come on, Holly. Let's go in the living room and get comfortable," she said soothingly.

Both girls curled up on the overstuffed, suede sofa, and Alice's gentle, but never-ending, barrage of questions began. She asked Holly everything, every little thing about her life. She started with questions about her childhood. What was it like growing up in a small town? What was Josh like as a boy? What would they do for fun? What was their mother like?

"You look so much like the photos I've seen of your mother. I'm beginning to think Josh showed me pictures of you, and not her," she joked lightly.

The questions continued on and on. What happened to their father? What was high school like for her? What was her major in college? Did she have a boyfriend? What was the story of her _first time_?

At that particular question, Holly stammered and covered her face with the blanket she had wrapped herself in.

"Come on, Holly, don't hold back. We're sisters! We have to know everything about each other, so spill it," Alice ordered with wide eyes and an excited smile.

Holly squeezed her eyes shut, thoroughly mortified. Finally, she shook her head to indicate there had yet to be a _first time_.

Alice leaned forward intently. "Never? How is that even possible in today's world?"

Holly drew in a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with a perfect stranger. However, she felt close to Alice. Even though they only just met hours before, she trusted her already.

"Well, I guess between taking care of my father, going to school, studying, and working full-time, I just didn't have much time for... fun. There wasn't a whole lot of extra time to be a wild child." Holly shrugged shyly. She still couldn't believe _this_ is where their conversation had led.

Alice nodded with understanding, before her face turned dark. "Damn Josh! _Damn_ him! That's just terrible, Holly. You never got the chance just to be a kid or to find yourself as a young woman. He robbed you of your youth, and I don't know if I can ever forgive him for it," she declared, crossing her arms.

Holly didn't like that she was a source of contention between Alice and Josh and was quick to defend him. "Alice, I know you are upset with Josh, but please don't be too angry at him. We both had a lot to deal with; we just did it in our own ways. I wasted a lot of time being mad at him when he left, and it did me no good. After a while, I realized I wasn't mad at him-I was envious. The only person I had to be upset with was myself. I'm _glad_ he got out of Forks when he did. I see how many great things he has accomplished because of it, and I know it was the best thing he could have done for himself. He was the smart one-he always was. I was the idiot who chose to waste my life trying to love a father so consumed by his own self-hatred, that he didn't have space for anyone else. Josh has a full life and an amazing family because of the choices he made and the chances he took-" Holly snorted "-where did my choices get me?" She tried to lighten the mood a make Alice smile. "I'm a twenty-three-year-old _virgin_ with no family."

It didn't work. Alice took Holly's hands into hers and looked deep into her eyes. She possessed the same stunning emerald eyes that belonged to Edward. "You have a family now, Holly. You'll never be alone again."

Holly smiled, her chin quivering. Even when her father was alive, she had been alone for so many years. She felt incredibly undeserving to have a wonderful new sister and confidante at her brother's expense.

A tear slipped down her cheek, and Alice placed a hand on her face. "Don't cry, sweetheart. Being a virgin isn't all bad," she teased with a wink.

Holly couldn't help but laugh, grateful for the comic relief. "Dang, I was hoping you would forget about that," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

A mischievous glow replaced the sadness in Alice's eyes. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it makes you one of the hottest commodities in the city. Just look at you, Holly, you're gorgeous, and you don't even know it. You're a catch! Don't worry one bit. I will find you your Prince Charming. Someone who is worthy of your...virtue," Alice said with a giggle.

"Oh, um, that won't be necessary. I'm _really_ not into blind dates," Holly said nervously.

Alice dismissed her with a wave. "Nonsense. Now, let's see who's available. There's Sam Uley-very tall, dark and handsome. Oh, or there's Jacob Black. He's very sexy and _very_ loaded-comes from old money. He's a bit of a bad boy, but we can work with that..."

Holly let Alice babble on about men as her own mind wandered to Edward. Her entire body lit up when she thought about the way he had kissed her just hours earlier. The memory of his strong arms wrapped tightly around her made her feel warm all over. He was the only man she could think about at the moment, and she found herself wondering when she could be alone with him next.

"Hello, earth to Holly," Alice said, giggling and waving a hand in front of Holly's face.

Holly blushed. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Alice giggled again, a lovely singsong melody. "I _said_ tomorrow we will go shopping for the Open Heart Ball. The firm throws it every year at the Seattle Art Museum in appreciation for everyone who donated to the Cullen Foundation."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Cullen Foundation?"

Alice sighed. "That boy didn't tell you anything, did he? Our family has a foundation to support children in need. We raise money to support several of the local orphanages and donate a ton of money to the children's hospital where Carlisle used to work. He used to be a surgeon, you know. Anyway, the Open Heart Ball is next Friday, and it's not really a ball; it's a gala. It's nothing more than a room full of rich jerks who think they're philanthropists because they dust off their checkbooks once a year. It's really just a bunch of self-congratulatory bullshit, but it makes them feel good about all the money they donate. And, it's a great place to meet the most eligible bachelors in Seattle. It will be the perfect setting for your debut," she informed, wiggling her eyebrows at Holly. Alice was quite pleased to have the chance to play dress-up _and_ matchmaker.

Holly was overwhelmed. "Alice, I'm nobody. I've never been to a ball, and I don't think I even know what a gala is. And while it's incredibly nice for you to offer, I won't be able to accept a shopping spree. I just... can't."

Alice's smile shrank to a tight line, and her eyes became icy slits. Holly knew she had unintentionally offended her, and she was a little frightened.

"Listen to me, Holly McNamera. What Joshua put you through is inexcusable in my book. I have a lot to make up for on his behalf. You are my little sister now, and you're going to have to get used to shopping with me, because it's going to happen. _Often_." Alice took a deep breath and continued, "Now, I can see that you're about as stubborn as that jackass brother of yours, and that's just not going to do. I _want_ to take you shopping. I _want_ to bond with you, so please, just save yourself the argument. It's really a waste of your time," she asserted firmly.

Holly was about to insist otherwise, but Alice grabbed her lips and held them shut with the vice-like grip of one tiny hand.

"Waste of time," she repeated slowly.

Holly nodded and gingerly rubbed her mouth when Alice finally let go.

Alice looked at her watch and sighed. "Ugh, it's really late. Jet lag will catch up to me soon. We'll get an early start tomorrow and head to the salon first thing to get freshened up. Now get upstairs and get some shut-eye. We have a big day tomorrow!" she exclaimed, pulling Holly off the couch.

Holly followed Alice up the stairs. The two shared a quick hug before retreating to their designated rooms. Holly stripped down to her tank top and underwear and snuggled up underneath the fluffy down comforter in no time.

She noticed her phone blinking from the nightstand. Upon opening it, she saw that she had a voicemail and a text message. She decided the voice message could wait until the morning, but she grinned ear-to-ear when she retrieved the text and saw that it was from Edward. He had sent it earlier that night. She took his three words with her, as she drifted off to sleep, still smiling.

_**Sleep well, beautiful.**_

"Rosalie, she is absolutely adorable-so wholesome and innocent. It's like she's a Martian." Alice giggled. She was chatting on the phone with Rosalie, Emmett's wife, about their newfound sister-in-law. It was early in the morning, and she was getting ready for her day out with Holly.

Rosalie was grilling her about the girl, not yet convinced of Holly's legitimacy or intentions for tracking down Josh after all these years.

"Trust me, you'll love her. She was only thirteen when Josh left Forks, and she only moved to Seattle after their father passed away. Anyway, she spent an entire month in the city before finally getting up the courage to come and find him. It's so sad," Alice said. She rolled her eyes as Rosalie reasserted her feelings of distrust towards Holly. "All I know is the poor girl has no one, and she needs our help. For God's sake, Rose, she's a virgin-she _needs_ our help," Alice informed her, and giggled at Rosalie's reply. "I told you she's a Martian-so adorable. Look, if you're too uptight to come shopping with us then I have to let you go. Holly and I will see you tomorrow for dinner at Mom and Dad's. Love you," she finished and tossed the phone into her huge Marc Jacobs bag, exiting the massive master bathroom.

Josh was dressing for the day when Alice passed him on her way out. "We're leaving now. Should be back around three," she announced tersely, still punishing him.

He caught her around the waist and pulled her close. She avoided looking him in the eye. Despite how angry she was, the feel of his arms around her always managed to be her undoing.

"Alice, please look at me," he pleaded, regretting it as soon as he saw the hurt that filled her perfect green eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Baby, I know how fucked up this is, but you can't keep me locked out like this-I can't handle it. What I did to Holly... No one should have to go through what she's been through. But you shutting me out like this-it's killing me. It _kills_ me, Alice. You have no idea how much I need you right now. I feel like I've shattered into a million pieces, and you're the only one who knows how to put me back together," he said, bending down to press his forehead to hers.

She closed her eyes and focused on breathing in and out. She had missed her husband terribly while she was away and wanted nothing more than to give in to him. When she found out she was eight weeks pregnant in a lonely hotel room in London, she couldn't wait to come home to him-to jump into his arms and tell him the good news. Unfortunately, she never got the chance to share that news. Instead, he'd turned her world upside down with the revelation of his long-lost sister. She didn't want to tell him about the baby while she was so damn upset with him, surely ruining an otherwise happy occasion.

He had a _sister_ and never told her.

That knowledge brought Alice back to reality. Of course, she _loved_ Josh. She'd vowed before God and three hundred of their friends and family that she would do whatever it took to make their union work. But right now she was hurting. She needed time.

"Josh," she whispered, and tried gently to push him off her.

He squeezed his eyes shut and held on tight, refusing to let her go. All he wanted at that moment was to know that she still loved him and that everything would be okay.

"Joshua, stop. You lied to me for so long. I can't just pretend that you didn't. I have to go now," she choked out, willing herself not to cry as she walked away from him.

Josh raked his hands through his short, dark hair. Alice was the most important person in his life. She was his whole world-his heart. Somehow, he would find a way to fix the damage this whole mess had caused between him and his precious wife.

He would also do whatever it took to make things right again between himself and Holly. He swore that he would never again let things between them go so wrong. He would take care of her as a brother and as a man of his means should. He would rectify the mistakes he'd spent the last ten years making, and try his best to not make another. Alice collected herself in the hallway outside Holly's door, determined not to let her encounter with Josh put a damper on the day of bonding she had planned.

"Rise and shine!" Alice's obscenely perky voice announced. Holly jerked awake from a deep but dreamless sleep when Alice flung the door and curtains open and daylight filled the room, temporarily blinding her.

"Come on, come on, come on-daylight is burning! We have places to go and purchases to make. I'll get you something to throw on." Alice danced into the closet.

Holly sat up, legs dangling over the side of the raised, four-poster bed and rubbed her sleepy eyes. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Alice let out a shriek from the closet.

"Oh my God! Someone stole all of your clothes!" she yelled frantically, feigning shock as she ran back into the bedroom.

Holly sighed and laughed. "No one stole my clothes, Alice. That's all I was able to salvage the night they evacuated my apartment building," she said, laughing again and pulling on a pair of grey yoga pants and an old green tank top.

The look of mock-horror never left Alice's face. "It's much worse than I thought. This shopping spree is no longer for fun. This is an emergency," she stated, looking Holly up and down with a sigh. "That will have to do until we find you a real outfit. Come on, Holly. Let's not waste one more second."

Holly took a quick shower and brushed her teeth while Alice flipped through a magazine. When she emerged from the bathroom, Alice barely gave her time to dress before grabbing her by the hand and pulling her out of the bedroom. Holly could barely keep up as Alice dragged her out of the house and shoved her into the passenger seat of a tiny Porsche.

Edward was yanked from a lovely dream by the shrill ring of his landline phone. He grabbed the alarm clock and huffed when he realized it was only seven in the morning. Carlisle had instructed them all to take some time off to regroup after the trial, and he had been looking forward to sleeping in. He groaned, knowing there was only one person in the world who would make it a point to bother him on the first day off he'd taken in over a month.

"This better be good, Emmett," he said in a husky, angry growl.

"Duuuude, it makes _so_ much sense now," Emmett said, a little too loudly.

He thought about hanging up and ripping the phone from the wall but went with his better judgment. "What the hell are you yapping about now? " Edward asked, thoroughly annoyed.

"You know what I'm talking about, _Edward the Conqueror_. I'm talking about your girl, Holly."

Yep, he should have hung up when he had the chance, but with the mention of Holly, Emmett had Edward's full attention. "I still don't know what you are talking about, Emmett, and I have no patience for you right now."

Emmett enjoyed Edward's anger immensely. "You _are_ the master, little bro, but don't you think swimming in uncharted waters with Josh's kid sister is a bit much, even for you? I mean, bagging a girl's V-card is your specialty, but she's Josh's sister, dude. I'm telling you, nothing good can come from this," Emmett warned, the amusement never leaving his voice.

Edward was baffled, but he tried to hide his surprise. "What are you talking about? Who told you Holy was a virgin?" he hissed through his teeth. Emmett's booming laughter angered him to no end.

"Rose told me, Alice told her, and Holly told Alice last night. You really didn't know? Oh, man, this keeps getting better and better." He roared with laughter once again.

Edward couldn't take anymore. "I'm hanging up now, dickhead," he said and put the phone back onto its cradle, yanking the cord from the wall.

Edward lay back down, pulling the covers up to his chin and tried to process the information he'd just received. Holly was a virgin? She was twenty-three years old, how does that even happen nowadays? Of course, the girl was perfect in every other way possible, but a virgin?

It was true, Edward had always... enjoyed a challenge in the past, but that reality seemed like a thousand years ago. Holly was different, and she made him feel different than any girl ever had before. He had been more than ready to ravage her the night before, but knowing what he knew now, the way he had behaved made him feel ashamed-slimy even.

Edward the Conqueror_, _a name created by Emmett, was an identity he'd embraced in the past as a way to keep his family from bothering him about his love life. They wrote him off as a playboy, not caring to know the sordid details of his many ventures. It worked, too, as they eventually stopped harassing him about settling down all together.

Now here he was, totally consumed with thoughts of Holly every waking moment. She was on his mind constantly, and he would count the minutes until he could be near her again. For the first time in his life, all he wanted to be was himself-the real Edward-around this girl. He wanted her to know him, and he was ready to show her who he really was.

_This information changes everything_, he thought.

From now on, he would move at Holly's speed. _Maybe even slower_, he thought, as his mind ran through the details of their heavy petting session. She hadn't shown any signs of hesitation when his hands inappropriately wandered her body. He was certain she had wanted him just as much as he wanted her. The last thing Edward wanted was for her to think that his motivations were purely sexual. In truth, it was so much more. He wanted her friendship and her trust.

Edward rose up on one elbow when insight hit him over the head like a hammer. He wanted Holly to _love_ him. He wanted to protect this girl. Most of all, he wanted her to be only his. Edward would allow no one else to encroach on the territory that wasn't even his... yet. Allowing her some time and space would be a test of his patience, but he would take whatever measures necessary to win her over completely. When she _was_ ready to make love, he would be the only one to take her on that journey.

He rolled on to his back once again and smiled, picturing her perfect face and those lovely, innocent eyes that held so much mystery. He wanted to kiss her soft, petal-pink lips and taste her supple skin once again. Edward caught himself when his thoughts automatically wandered toward the red-light district.

Yes, it would be quite a challenge to control his desire around her. He smiled again; he did love a challenge.


	6. Chapter 6

Six

As promised, Holly and Alice began their morning at the salon with a light breakfast of tea and scones. After several hours of getting washed, trimmed, primped, waxed, plucked, and polished, Holly was ready for the prodding to end. When the large Swedish woman was finished with her, and the torture was over, Alice finally let Holly look at herself in the mirror.

She still looked like the same Holly, but her skin was glowing, she was smooth as a baby's behind, and her hair looked like it belonged in a Pantene commercial. Gone were her chaotic waves, effectively removed by the power of an expensive flat iron. Ecstatic, Holly hugged the artist, much to her chagrin, and covered Alice's cheeks in a thousand glossy kisses, much to her delight.

The day went on, and the hours flew by. Alice-moving at Alice-speed-had already dragged her through countless clothing stores, spending way too much money, and it was barely two o'clock. Holly needed a breather and was able to shake Alice long enough to sneak outside and check her voice messages.

The first message was from Angela, her lifelong friend from back home. Her bright, cheery voice made Holly smile. The last month on her own had been hard, and she missed her friend terribly. Seeing Angela every day would be reason enough to move back to Forks, but she didn't even have that to look forward to. Angela just started med school and barely had time to take care of herself, let alone spend endless days of doing nothing with Holly like they used to.

The only other message was from a number Holly wasn't familiar with. It was about a job offer. A woman named Jane left a phone number but no company name. Jane said there was a receptionist position available at her family's company. Holly thought it was odd she didn't leave the name of the business but was excited to finally have a bite. She'd mass emailed her resume to at least a hundred different companies, and Jane was the only return call she'd had so far.

She punched in the number, but before she could hit 'send' a finger tapped her on the shoulder. Holly spun around and was face-to-face with a tiny, blonde woman with icy blue eyes that seemed too large for her head.

"Are you Holly McNamera?" the girl asked with a smile.

Holly looked around and closed her phone. "Um, yes, I am. Can I help you?"

The blonde's thin red lips curled upwards in a wide smile, but her eyes remained disturbingly deadpan. "Where are my manners? Hi, Holly, I'm Jane. I've been looking all over for you. You must be a very busy girl." She didn't give Holly a chance to respond before she continued, "I would like to extend an offer for you to work at my father's company. I've scanned your resume, and I know you'll be perfect for the job. You _have_ done reception work before, haven't you?"

Holly stammered. "Well no, but-"

She was cut off by Jane's fake laughter. "No worries. I'm sure you'll be easily trained. If you'll just come with me, my father would like to interview you. He's waiting in the car." She gestured to a sleek, black Lincoln that was parked about ten feet away.

Holly didn't know what to make of the odd situation, and then she remembered Alice. "Well, I'm afraid I am not available right now. You see, I'm here with a friend and-" Again, she was cut off.

"Don't worry, Holly. It'll only take a few moments. It's just a formality, really. Come on," she coaxed, grabbing Holly's hand and leading her to the car.

Shocked, Holly stumbled behind her a few steps before putting her feet firmly on the ground to resist. Jane whipped around, her face full of irritation and something else-something more sinister.

Before she could say another word, Alice appeared. "There you are, Holly. What are you doing out here? I was looking everywhere for you. Who's your friend?" she asked, smiling at Jane.

"I'm ... not really sure." Holly spoke carefully.

Jane blanched. She didn't introduce herself to Alice. Instead, she shoved a business card into Holly's hand.

"Let's do this in a more private setting, Holly. Call me ASAP to set up an appointment. The sooner, the better," she said, glaring at Alice and quickly retreating into the waiting vehicle. Its tires squealed hastily as they sped out of the parking lot.

"Okay, _that_ was weird. Who was that girl?" Alice asked, putting an arm around Holly and leading her back into the dress shop.

Holly felt incredibly uneasy after her confrontation with the strange woman. "I'm not sure," she repeated quietly.

She remembered the phone conversation she had with Caveman, the bartender at her job, the day before. He'd said a young blonde came into the bar looking for her. She had no idea who this woman was, but she sure seemed to know a lot about Holly. She slipped the business card into her bag and tried to focus on being happy for Alice's sake.

"You won't believe the gown I found for you to wear to the Open Heart Ball. Normally, I wouldn't _consider_ buying anything off the rack for an event, but with such short notice there's not a whole lot we can do about that. Fortunately for us, some crazy broad ordered a custom-made Vivienne Westwood but never picked it up. I practically had to beg the saleswoman to let you try it on. If it's as perfect as I know it will be, it's yours," Alice said, dancing back into the uber-expensive store.

Holly smiled distractedly at Alice. Once they were in the dressing room, she obediently stripped down for what seemed like the millionth time that day. To Holly's surprise, the sales woman came back carrying a vibrant, colorful gown. There was no rhyme or reason to her logic, but Holly expected to be wearing black, white, or red to the formal function. This gown blew any preconceived notions of what one wears to a fancy ball out of the water.

It was strapless with a sweetheart neck and layers of sheer magenta fabric. The expensive material draped over Holly and felt like liquid against her newly-waxed body. There was a gold, rope-like detail that embellished the empire waist, and the magenta fabric split down the front to show off layers of fiery orange underneath.

Holly's newly-straightened hair cascaded down to the middle of her back in a glossy, light brown waterfall. All dressed up, Holly didn't recognize herself.

Alice was almost in tears. "The color is perfect against your skin, Holly. It fits beautifully-just a little loose in the bust. We'll have it taken in just a touch-like _this_," she said, gripping the back of the dress to bring it in and smiling at Holly's reflection in the mirror.

Holly's eyes popped as she stared at the cleavage that appeared out of nowhere. For the first time in her life, she had actual cleavage. _What a difference an inch of fabric can make!_ she thought.

"Wow," Holly breathed. She was just as in love with the dress as Alice was.

"We'll take it," Alice agreed in the same breathy, wonder-filled tone.

When the apprehensive saleslady began to argue that the woman who ordered the gown might return someday to pay for it, Alice cut her off.

"Look, do you want to let this _unpaid-for_, perfectly good dress sit in your dingy back room for another three months, or do you want to let me buy it for twice what the other woman was willing to pay? Hmm? I thought so. Please charge this to the McNamera account. We'll need it altered and delivered by Wednesday. _Thank you!_" She ended, with finality in her tone. Alice left no room for further argument.

The saleswoman, freshly put in her place, backed out of the dressing room to retrieve a receipt for Alice to sign. "Yes, Mrs. Cullen-I mean, McNamera."

Alice turned back to Holly and beamed. "You are so beautiful, Holly. No one is going to know what hit them when they see you in this dress. Seattle's finest will be lined up around the block to dance with you."

Still mesmerized by the new woman that stared back at her in the mirror, Holly shook herself from her musing. There was no way she could let Alice buy this dress at such an outrageous cost. "I can't take this, Alice. You can't spend that kind of money on me. It's absurd and unnecessary."

Alice laughed. "Oh, Holly. You're so cute. Too late, though, it's already done. Truthfully, I'd spend three times that amount on something this gorgeous. A custom-made Vivienne Westwood? Please-we lucked out! It's a one of a kind-just like you," she said and helped Holly out of the dress.

Holly pulled on her new pair of skin-tight jeans and a gray cashmere sweater that they purchased earlier in the day. She'd never worn cashmere before, and it felt nice against her body. Alice had instructed the saleswoman at Calvin Klein to burn the threadbare yoga pants and tank top Holly had showed up in

"Alice, thank you for today. For everything. I've never done anything like this before..." Holly trailed off, not knowing how else to describe her gratitude and awe.

Alice smiled and wrapped an arm around Holly's waist. "It's my pleasure, sweetie. It makes me happy just to be with you."

Holly remained speechless as they walked out of the shop and into the parking lot.

All too ready to continue the madness, Alice begged Holly to let her take her to the next string of overly-expensive shops. Holly couldn't let the insanity go on; she had to make her stop. She feigned a migraine so Alice would come to her senses and take her home.

Due to Alice's lead foot, it wasn't long before they were pulling up in the circular drive of the McNamera residence once again. It boggled Holly's mind how a car so tiny could hold so many bags. When Alice pushed the little button on her key fob to release the trunk, it nearly exploded with bags of clothes. They walked into the grand foyer where and were greeted by several members of the house staff who were ready to relieve them of their purchases.

"These will go in Miss Holly's room," Alice cheerfully instructed. The staff expertly armed themselves with the merchandise-clearly a frequent chore-and ascended the stairs quickly.

The girls walked into the living room to find Josh, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper standing around the large TV.

"Hey, guys, we're back! What's everyone doing?" Alice asked. All of them immediately hushed her. Josh was on the phone, but pulled Alice to his side protectively and kissed her head.

Instinctively, Edward moved himself to stand beside Holly. She smiled at him, but his perfect features remained grim. Holly focused on the television and watched a replay of the news story they had been watching.

_"The story of the day continues, as there has been breaking news in the case of Three Brothers, Inc. Police have reported that during the transit from the city jail to the state penitentiary, an escape was made. We are not yet sure of the details, but we do know that Aro Volturi has evaded police custody. When backup arrived at the scene of the accident that led to the escape, both officers that were accompanying the convicts, as well as the driver, were found dead. Both Marcus and Caius Volturi were said to be patiently awaiting backup and put up no fight when police took them away. Neither of the brothers will speak of the eldest Volturi brother's whereabouts. Let's go back to Leslie in the newsroom with more on this frightening turn of events."_

"Escaped?" Alice muttered quietly.

With a mighty roar, Emmett punched the wall, sending a shower of plaster onto the carpet. "How the _fuck_ does something like this happen? We spend a whole goddamned year putting these bastards away and, _poof_, just like that, one of them gets away?"

Jasper grabbed his shoulder to calm him, but Emmett would not allow it. He sauntered out of the room with Jasper at his heels-no doubt to try to protect the rest of the house from his temperamental brother.

Josh was still on the phone. "Right. She just got in. I'll fill her in now. Bye, Carlisle," he said and shoved the phone into his pocket.

"What did Dad say?" Edward said immediately.

"Jasper, Emmett, get in here," Josh said, pacing the floor again.

When the other two rejoined the group, Josh reiterated how dire the situation had quickly become.

"We've talked about the importance of laying low before, but now we are in just about the worst situation we could be in. Obviously, Aro has escaped, and we have to assume that he'll be looking for some sort of revenge. Maybe not now, maybe not ever, but we have to assume the worst. Carlisle and Esme left this morning to stay overnight in the mountains but are turning around now."

Alice interjected, obviously aware of how acute their situation was. "Maybe they should just stay there-away from the city. What if they're followed?"

Josh halted his pacing and pulled her close to him again. "They'll be just fine, I promise. Carlisle has been speaking to Judge Cundiff, and he's arranged for a police escort to see them home. Everyone will just have to be extra careful. Holly, I'm sorry, but you will have to quit your job. I won't risk you being at the boardwalk every night by yourself-it's too dangerous."

Holly was confused. She was trying to comprehend what was happening around her. "But, no one knows about me. How will they know I even exist?" she asked, wringing her hands nervously.

"Because you _do_ exist, Holly, and they probably already know that. You'll stay here with us and work with Alice at the firm. Do you understand me?" Josh didn't mean to be short with her, but he needed her to listen to him and understand the position they were all in.

Feeling like a castigated child, Holly shrank back at his tone, hugging herself. Edward glared at Josh and put a comforting arm around her.

Sighing, Josh continued. "I'm sorry, Holly. I just need you to understand what's best for you right now. Tomorrow at dinner, we'll go into more detail. Until then, we all need to try to relax. Emmett, I know how anxious you are. Go home to Rose and Sophie, and we'll see you tomorrow."

Emmett charged out of the room like an angry bull just released from his pen. He couldn't get home to his wife and child fast enough. If anything were to happen to them...

"Emmett, be careful!" Alice shouted after him. The door slammed with such force, that Holly felt the floor vibrate beneath her.

"Jasper, Edward, I think it's best if you two stay here tonight. You shouldn't be alone until we have a clear plan and a better protection detail," Josh said wearily.

Edward squeezed Holly tighter; he wasn't going anywhere.

"We'll stay," Jasper replied, and Edward nodded in agreement.

Holly had paced Josh's living room at least a hundred times before evening drew near. Relaxing, as Josh had instructed them to do, seemed to be outside the realm of possibility. Edward, Jasper, and Josh were huddled over a laptop, doing God knows what, until Alice quietly slipped beside her husband and whispered in his ear. Josh nodded and the two of them retreated up the stairs. Holly hoped they were going to talk things out.

She felt helpless-useless, really. She kept asking Edward if there was she could do or if they needed anything at all, but he would just smile warmly and reassure her everything was under control. She knew that was a bold-faced lie but appreciated his attempt to comfort her. Finally, when she could no longer stand the hollowness of her presence among them, Holly decided to go up to her room to try to calm her nerves.

Holly shucked off her clothes, hanging the sweater and jeans in her closet. The house staff had neatly hung and organized all of the purchases she'd brought home, and suddenly, she had a closet stuffed to the brim with new clothes. Holly fingered her new wardrobe and thought of what she could do to show her appreciation to Alice and Josh.

She turned off the lights in the closet and closed the door. Making her way to the bathroom and entering, she discovered that someone had filled it with every toiletry she would ever need. Behind the mirrored cabinets were toothpaste, a new toothbrush, floss, a new razor, shave cream, face wash, astringent, and an assortment of fine creams, masks, and body sprays. Holly flicked a few errant tears from her cheeks and decided she needed a bath. She was overwhelmed.

Using the fine, gold fixtures on the tub, she adjusted the water to as hot as it could go, infusing it with lavender oil. The beautiful glass bottle of oil was all in French. She couldn't read a word of it, but she recognized the smell instantly. Once the tub was full, she had to wait several minutes for her feet to get used to the hot water before she could slip all the way in.

Finally, submerged to her chin, she began to contemplate the events of the last couple of days. She thought of the escape of Aro Volturi and what that would mean for her. Joshua was adamant that she stay with him and Alice in Seattle, insisting that she was in danger. However, Holly wasn't convinced that she was. If she left now, Josh could help her get back to Forks discretely. Surely she could live under the radar, as the Volturi's would be after the members of Cullen McNamera-not her. She decided to wait and discuss it with Josh when he wasn't in the heat of the moment. It just made more sense to her. Josh didn't need her there, getting in everyone's way, and he'd see that once he had the time to think clearly.

The whole situation was extremely odd. How weird was it that only Aro escaped? Why didn't the other two run when they had the opportunity? She knew these were questions that no one had the answer to, but the fact that the other two brothers remained at the scene just made the whole thing that much more bizarre.

Finally, her thoughts drifted to Edward. To think of him being in peril was just too awful for her. In fact, it enraged Holly. If Aro made a single attempt on the life of anyone in her new family, she would gladly kill Aro Volturi herself to protect them. Edward, Alice, Josh, and the rest of their innocent family were the ones who that bastard would be coming for-not Holly.

It made her sad to think of leaving Edward behind. It would definitely be the hardest part of leaving Seattle. However, she would be eternally grateful to him for being such a celestial light in the dark. Holly closed her eyes and grimaced as she remembered the details of the previous night. She'd embarrassed herself by stepping way over the line and throwing herself at Edward, although it had felt exponentially more incredible to be caught up in his kiss than she had ever dreamed.

Holly mulled darkly that she'd have to be missing a chromosome to think there was any kind of future in exploring that path. Edward deserved someone as grandiose as he was-s omeone who belonged in his glittery world of excess. It didn't matter how many designer labels were now in her closet; it didn't make her a different person. She would continue to be who she always was: a small-time, small-town nobody whose only talent was to ruin the lives of those she tried to love.

_Ugh, get a grip! _she thought. Living with Charlie for so many years made her dislike those who pitied themselves, and she rolled her eyes at her own pathetic self-loathing. Her last depressing thought was just how much she would miss every single part of Edward.

Once her fingers and toes began to resemble pink raisins, Holly flipped the little gold lever with her big toe, opening the drain. She stepped out of the large tub and toweled herself off. After much digging, she finally found a new pair of gray Calvin Klein thermal pajamas.

Once dressed, she pulled the towel off her head and brushed her long hair. She had been careful not to get it wet, as she was not quite ready to give up having perfectly straight hair; it fell softly around her face. Placing the gold brush back on its tray on the guest bedroom's dressing table, she exited the room.

"Holly, I was just coming to find you," Josh called from the opposite end of the hallway.

Holly spun around to face him. "Oh. Well, here I am," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Could you come in here? I'd like to talk, if that's alright," Josh said solemnly.

Holly chewed her bottom lip and walked past him into his bedroom.

Alice was just leaving and caught Holly in a hug. "Everything will be all right, sweetie," she whispered and was gone in a flash.

Josh and Alice's bedroom was massive. In fact, there wasn't a bed anywhere in sight, and Holly guessed it was beyond the sitting room she was in, through one of the many doors that surrounded her. When Alice described her bedroom's décor as 'modern chic,' Holly had no idea what she meant. Looking around, she saw that Alice's description suited the room perfectly. The walls of the sitting room were somewhere between blue and gray, and trimmed with dark cherry wood molding. The modern furniture was dark brown leather, accented with cream and beige pillows. Holly took a seat in a cream-colored, plush leather chair and Josh sat down across from her on the arm of one exactly like it.

"Holly, please let me get this out before you interrupt me," he said, taking a deep breath. "First, I just want you to know how much I love you. I do. I know you can't possibly believe this, but I always have. Second, _sorry_ can't even begin to define how I feel about what you've been through," he said and held up his hand when she opened her mouth to speak. "Please, let me talk. It's true that I blamed you when Mom died, and that's why I ran. It was a stupid, juvenile excuse to not have to look into your eyes and see _her_. It was a huge mind-fuck to look at you, someone I talked myself into hating so much, but see Mom, someone that I loved more than my own life. I left you all alone to suffer under Charlie's suffocating depression. I knew the hell you would endure every day, because I suffered through it for seventeen years.

"You were his favorite-his little girl. And I was never good enough. This is going to sound crazy to you, but I'd accepted long ago that Charlie loved you more than me. You came right along and stole his heart. I didn't care though, because I had Mom on my side-always. When she died on the way to your piano recital, I got the crazy notion stuck in my head that you stole _her _from me, too. The way you did with Charlie," Josh said softly, his eyes unfocused, gazing somewhere into the past. He shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. "Fucking idiotic, right? Anyway, about two years after I left Forks, I knew that any reasoning I'd used to convince myself that you were the enemy was bullshit. God, Holly, I wish I could tell you that I wanted to rescue you and make things right, but I didn't. I'd thought about it, considered it from time-to-time, but always decided it was easier to just keep moving ahead. I told myself over and over that it was too late to turn back, but in reality, I was afraid. I'm _still_ afraid, but I don't want to run from you anymore. There is so much that I wish I would have done differently. If I was any kind of a man, I would have come back after college and taken you away from there-taken care of you," he said miserably.

"Josh, don't," Holly whispered, choking on the tears that threatened to escape.

Josh didn't seem to hear her. "You deserved so much more than what I left you with. You should have been able to go to any college you wanted, without thinking about bills, or worrying about what kind of drunken state of mind Charlie would be in when you walked through the door. You should have been having fun with your friends, not working two jobs because it was up to you to keep a roof over your head. _I_ could have provided you with so much more, Holly, but I didn't. Christ, I regret so much, and I'm so ashamed, but I promise you, I _will_ make it up to you somehow." At some point during his speech, he'd moved from the chair and was now on his knees in front of her, clutching her hands.

For the second time that evening, Holly felt like a small child because of Josh. She felt small and helpless-needy for something, but she didn't know what. She wanted to say so much to him, but her tears were like a gag not allowing her to speak. Instead, she flung herself into Josh's arms and let years of raw, pent-up emotion spill out onto his shoulder. She bawled like a baby.

"Please forgive me, Holly. Please give me the chance to do right by you," Josh pleaded, gripping her tight.

Holly pulled back and wiped her face with her sleeves. She had to stop him from drowning in his own guilt. "Josh, I forgive you. Please stop. The past is where it belongs. I love you, and I'm so _proud_ of what you've become. You don't owe me anything, so please don't spend another second trying to find ways to repay me. All I ever wanted was to have my big brother back, and here you are. Just knowing that you'll be here, whenever I need you, is going to make leaving Seattle so much easier," she finished, hugging him again. Relief flooded her body. It felt so good to love him again after so long, and to feel his love for her.

Confused, Josh grabbed her arms and looked into her eyes. "What do you mean when you leave Seattle? Holly, you can't go back to Forks," he stated somberly.

"But I can't stay. I don't belong here with you, Josh. I would love to stay and visit longer, but with the escape and everything ... I know that the sooner I go home, the better things will get for you. I know with your help I can slip back home quietly. It doesn't have to be Forks. Maybe Port Angeles instead-whatever you think. I love you, but I'm in over my head here," Holly argued, trying to make him see what was best.

Josh pinched the bridge of his nose, and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep an even tone. "You don't get it. That's absolutely out of the question. I have to assume that the Volturi family knows about you. And, if they know about you, I have to assume that they have Forks locked down. And, for God's sake, Port Angeles is barely an hour from Forks. It's not far enough away. If I could, I would send you to the other side of the world to protect you, but you'll just have to settle with living with me and Alice. When this is all over, we can get you a place in Forks if you really want to go back there. Or Port Angeles, or wherever you want. Just, not now."

"Okay. I don't want this to come off the wrong way, but they are after you, not me. Don't you think that I'll be safer _not_ living in your house?" Holly said, hoping he would see the logic.

Josh shook his head. "No. They know we're protected, they aren't going to just barge into Cullen territory. I can't lose you again, Holly, and the second you walk away from this shelter, you're a goner."

Holly sighed, resigning herself from the argument. "All right. I don't want to fight with you anymore, so I'm dropping it ... for now. We'll come back to this later, when you see how completely unreasonable you're being," she said and they both stood up.

"You're impossible," Josh informed her, leading her out of the room.

"I love you," she replied sweetly.

"Love you, too, kiddo."

The scene downstairs looked pretty much the same as when Holly left it almost two hours earlier. Jasper and Edward, although slightly more haggard looking, had not moved from the computer, only now Alice was standing behind them. She smiled knowingly at Holly when she and Josh walked into the living room.

"Find anything interesting?" Josh asked, joining his family.

"Not much. The FBI's database keeps uploading pictures of other members of the Volturi family. It's probably best if everyone takes a look; these are the people who will be looking for us," Jasper said somberly, clicking through the pictures.

"Oh my God! Wait-go back, Jasper. Make that picture bigger!" Alice exclaimed, motioning for Holly to hurry and join them.

Holly crossed the room and stood behind Edward. Her mouth went dry. Her heart pounded and then seemed to stop beating altogether when she found herself staring at a picture of the same petite blonde with the icy blue eyes she'd encountered earlier outside the dress shop. The same girl who'd attempted to drag her into her father's waiting vehicle. Her ears rang and her stomach turned. Josh was right all along. The Volturi knew exactly who she was, and they had come for her.

"Jane," Holly murmured before her body went numb, and the world faded to black.


	7. Chapter 7

Seven

Holly awoke with a start to find herself lying on a plush, white chaise lounge in a dimly lit room-a library, it appeared. She immediately tried to sit up, but a pair of large hands gently impeded her effort. When her vision focused on Edward's face, she relaxed and allowed herself to lie still.

"Don't try to sit up yet. Just let your head get used to being conscious again. How do you feel, Sleeping Beauty?" Edward asked. His eyes were full of concern as he tucked a lock of golden brown hair behind her ear.

Holly was groggy and confused. She was trying to figure out what was reality and what had been a dream. When the events that led up to her fainting episode came flooding back, she began to panic again and pushed Edward's hands away to sit up. He allowed her to do so but placed a steadying hand on her back.

Edward could see a wave of fresh anxiety having its way with her delicate features and couldn't help but stroke the side of her face to try and soothe her. "Holly, it's all right. You gave us a scare, but everything is going to be okay," he told her with confident reassurance.

Holly looked at him incredulously, baffled by his serene disposition in the face of such imminent danger. "No. It's not okay, Edward. How can you say that? Those people have been following me, staking me out. And they'll be after you, too. If Alice hadn't been there today..." She trailed off, shuddering at images of the various horrors she might have faced if things had gone a little differently today. The grisly possibilities played like a morbid slideshow in her mind.

Scooting closer to her, Edward lightly nudged her chin, trying to make her look him in the eye. "Had he known earlier about the escape, Josh never would have let you two out of the house. Thank God Jane assumed that Alice would recognize her and fled," Edward said in attempted reassurance, but he could see that Holly was in a different place altogether. Her large, frightened eyes were downcast and flicked wildly back and forth.

He needed her to focus and understand him clearly. He grasped her face tight with both hands, forcing her to look at him. "You're safe now, Holly. I promise-I _swear_ to you-Iwon't let anything like that happen again. No one can touch you now," he vowed, pulling her into his arms and pressing his lips to the top of her head.

Truthfully, when Alice explained that they'd not only _seen_ Jane Volturi, but that Holly had come excruciatingly close to being forced into a vehicle that most likely contained Aro as well, it nearly brought Edward to his knees. At first, he was afraid, but knowing full well what Aro's past victims had endured under his enslavement replaced his fear with a murderous rage that coursed through his veins like a drug.

The thought of Aro or any other member of his nefarious guard, laying so much as a single reptilian finger on Holly was too much for Edward to consider. The knowledge of what could easily have happened to her was like a searing-hot knife plunging into his heart and twisting mercilessly.

Jane Volturi had made a _big_ mistake in letting Holly slip away and was surely paying a heavy price for her little snafu. However, Edward knew that whatever punishment she was now on the business end of was not enough. It was while he was watching Holly sleep that he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

Holly drew comfort from the strength of Edward's embrace, but she couldn't relax fully. She was still afraid of what could have happened to her and absolutely terrified about the uncertainty of what lay ahead for the Cullens.

"Edward, I'm scared." Her voice wavered and tremors ran through her body as she pulled herself back to look into his eyes. "I'm scared for you and Josh and everyone else. What the hell is everyone supposed to do now-barricade the doors and windows and hide until that monster is behind bars again?" she asked, anger building in her shaky voice.

Edward let his fingers trail down her slender arms until his hands found hers. "No, doll. We are going to live our lives. We'll just have to be more careful." He spoke in a soothing voice, and one corner of his mouth lifted at her questioning face. There may as well have been a question mark above her head. "Alice was able to give a description of their car and which direction they were headed. And because she's Alice, she went through your purse and retrieved the business card that Jane gave you. That card alone gives us two pieces of information-the phone number she's been using to try and contact you and possible fingerprints. It isn't much, but it's a decent start. We've notified the police, of course, but there's just not a whole lot they can do. Right now, their main job is to find Aro. My dad hired a private detective to do some investigating for us, though." He sighed and frowned again. "Unfortunately, you will have to speak to the detective soon and give him as much information as you can. He wants to confirm the details Alice has already given him. I'm so sorry about all of this, Holly," he whispered. By the time he was finished, his face was frozen somewhere between torturous sorrow and merciless guilt.

Holly squeezed his hands. "Edward, you have nothing to apologize for. You couldn't have known," she reassured.

"I _will_ protect you. All you have to do is trust me," he resolved. Caressing her face once again, he whispered, "Do you trust me, Holly?"

Holly leaned into his hand and nodded, keeping her eyes on his.

The second Edward's lips touched hers that wonderful, soothing warmth once again flowed through her body. For the moment, everything awful that surrounded them melted away. His lips were soft and warm and healed her soul. She ran her hands down the side of his face and circled her arms around his neck. The sweet innocence of the kiss dissipated and was soon replaced by the hunger, the need, she'd felt for him the night before.

Edward moaned regretfully, and before she would've liked, he pulled away from her. He kissed her lips sweetly once more. "We should go and get your interrogation over with before it gets too late," he stated reluctantly and helped her stand.

She squeezed his hand when she thought of having to try to remember every minute detail to an intimidating badge.

Edward sensed her apprehension and kissed her fingers. "Don't worry, doll. I won't leave your side."

Holly gave him a weak smile and took a deep breath, allowing him to lead her back to the insanity.

The rest of the evening was a blur. The questioning was gentle enough but seemed to drag on for hours. As promised, Edward did not leave her side. He held her hand and remained quiet as Holly combed through the details with the surprisingly empathetic private detective that Carlisle retained-Detective Ronald Andrews. He made her feel confident that the information she'd given had blazed enough of a trail for him to begin the hunt. Once they were finally finished, Holly and Edward joined Alice, Jasper, and Josh in the kitchen for a late dinner of delivered pizza.

Jasper had been on the phone with his father off and on all evening, notifying him of the surprising new developments. He was keeping a very concerned Carlisle up-to-date as the night unfolded with Alice and Holly being questioned. Carlisle regretted not being there, but they'd hit a couple snags on the way home from their mountain property and were just now reaching Seattle. Jasper assured him that it was best if they just went home to get some rest, and that they'd all be together soon enough.

Of course, Carlisle was stunned to find out that Josh had a sister. He was more than a little angry that his own flesh and blood, his children, had known for almost two weeks, yet said nothing. Carlisle was mostly aggravated because _had_ he known about Holly, he would have had protection on her the second the trial ended. They might have been able to avoid this potentially horrific incident all together.

He demanded to speak to Josh and spent a good amount of time chastising him for his carelessness. However, always the loving father, Carlisle ended the conversation on a positive note by telling Josh that he was proud of him for accepting his baby sister back into his life. He let him know that he and Esme would be delighted to meet her at dinner the following day.

It was late and Holly, back in her borrowed room, was exhausted. She peeled off the confining pair of long johns, opting instead for a more comfortable set of tank top and shorts. Alice had picked out the colorful set, and several more like it, at Victoria's Secret for Holly to sleep in.

Her belly was full, and after brushing her teeth and putting her hair up in a high ponytail, she happily crawled under the covers, and snuggled up to the extra-large pillows. After several moments, Holly sighed. She was more restless than she thought, and the sleep that she so desperately craved was nowhere to be found. Finally giving up, Holly flipped on the small bedside lamp. She picked up the pristine copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_, hoping that reading would cure her insomnia, as it always had in the past.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Holly sat upright. "Come in," she called, smiling when Edward entered the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

"I can't sleep," he admitted, planting his bottom at the opposite corner of the bed.

"Yeah, same here. It's been such a long day, but I'm restless," she replied, studying him. Distracted by his beauty, she absently wondered how it was possible that gray jersey knit pants and a black T-shirt could look every bit as sexy as would an Armani suit on his body. "So ... what do we do now?" she asked, forcing her eyes back to his and away from his lovely chest and arms.

His eyelids drooped, and one corner of his mouth drew up in a sly grin. He'd noticed the way she stared at him, and Edward decided it might be fun to tease her a little. He raised his eyebrows seductively and slowly crawled across the bed toward her. "Well, I do know _one_ activity that always does the trick," he said in a husky voice.

Holly's heart quickened when he finally reached her. Her breath hitched as his lips grazed the skin of her bare shoulder. _Oh, God help me,_ she thought, as his finger trailed lightly up her stomach to her sternum and lingered between her petite breasts. His touch sent a thrilling current through her body. His finger caught under her chin, tilting her head back as he planted his mouth hungrily on hers. Holly parted her lips, welcoming Edward to explore her mouth freely.

Before it became too much for him, Edward pulled away and traced a finger over Holly's swollen, parted lips, and studied her face.

"Jesus, you're beautiful," he whispered in a husky voice, gazing at her with what Holly would consider _bedroom-eyes_.

She couldn't respond. Every nerve ending in her body was lit up and craving his touch. Holly was staring at his lips, willing him to kiss her like that again. But he didn't. Instead, he reached past her to the drawer in the nightstand, whispering against her neck, "Let me just grab a little something from the nightstand before we begin. I know Josh and Alice keep them in every room of the house for when boredom strikes."

Holly was absolutely intoxicated by him. The friendly, warm sensation she normally experienced whenever Edward kissed her was now a raging inferno in her loins. She'd never felt desire like this before, and her heart was pounding so hard against her rib cage that she was positive he could hear it. Her breaths were quick and ragged, and her mind raced. After twenty-three years of being an innocent girl, was she finally ready for this? Was she ready to take a flying leap into womanhood?

_Yes,_ she thought, _definitely, yes._

"There we go," Edward whispered, finding what he needed from the nightstand and sliding the drawer closed. He placed his lips on the soft skin of her neck and spoke between broken trails of delicious kisses. "Holly ... how do you feel ... about ... me and you ... playing a few hands of gin?" he said against her ear.

Holly's breath caught in her throat. Had she heard him correctly? She pulled back to look at Edward's grinning face, her breath finally whooshing out in one long gasp. He was holding up the innocent deck of cards that he'd retrieved from the nightstand.

"_Gin_?" she squeaked, utterly gob-smacked.

Edward feigned confusion and shrugged. "Well, sure. What did you think I was going to say?" he scoffed, looking at her like she was some kind of weirdo.

And then he was gone. In the blink of an eye, he'd hopped off the bed to retrieve an extra blanket from the cedar chest across the room.

Holly, crashing hard from the sex-driven high he'd given her, glared at his backside. She was positive she could see the corners of his self-indulgent, Cheshire cat grin poking out on either side of the back of his head.

Indignant laughter escaped her throat, and she shook her head at his antics. "Yeah. Gin sounds great. Prepare to _die_, Cullen."

Gin lasted for only an hour, with Holly as the victor, before they ditched the cards and settled into comfortable chatter. Another hour passed before Edward covered Holly's sleeping body with the blanket he'd retrieved earlier. He pulled it up to her shoulders and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek.

"Goodnight, doll," he whispered.

He'd almost reached the door, when he heard Holly mumble, "Goodnight, jerk."

Edward laughed and shook his head, shutting the door behind him with a soft _click_.

He tip-toed quietly past Josh and Alice's bedroom and slipped back to his own designated guest room. Edward knew he was in trouble. Teasing Holly, while both easy and fun, had backfired on him. The mixture of her delicious scent, the feel of her satiny skin under his lips, that mouth-watering kiss, and her all-around exquisite femininity had cause a biological reaction of his own. He ended up having to rush to find a blanket-a cover-up-before she could see how badly he'd lost at his own game.

Edward had grossly underestimated Holly's power over him, and he knew there would be no sleep until he took care of his _not-so-little_ problem. He turned the shower on full blast and stepped in. The hot water was therapy for his tense muscles.

_Note to self: Don't bite off more than your big mouth can chew, asshole, _he thought with a laugh.

Alice woke early to start coffee and make breakfast. None of the house staff worked on Sundays, and she typically spent the day picking up the domestic duties. Candidly, she enjoyed the work. However, she also enjoyed the benefits of having a staff and wasn't about to give up her convenient lifestyle. No one was aware of her guilty pleasure, and, short of having a gun held to her head, she would never admit to her family how much she liked the cooking and light cleaning. The simple joy of preparing a meal for her loved ones allowed her to relax and forget about the intensity of the last forty-eight hours.

She walked into Josh's office and placed a cup of black coffee in front of her husband, kissing the top of his head. He smiled gratefully, kissing her hand several times, but continued the phone conference he was on.

The talk they'd had the night before still ran through Alice's mind. Josh had gotten the brutal end of her anger in the hotel when he first told her about Holly, but she still had plenty to say to him after they'd said goodnight to everyone and retired to their room. She knew that he was sorry. And ashamed. And thoroughly disgusted with himself. She was delighted to hear that he and Holly had such a healing discussion and finally cut him some slack, knowing he'd opened his heart to her. She was ready for all of the fighting to be over. With the news of Aro, she needed her husband's reassuring love to keep her feeling safe-and sane.

She'd forgiven him once and for all, and finally told him of their new baby-to-be. Josh was ecstatic to say the least. He'd whooped so loud, she was sure that everyone in the house could hear him. After more guilt-induced groveling, Josh kissed and worshiped every single inch of her body. They lost themselves in each other, making love like it was the first time. And the second. And the third. She was happy to have her life somewhat back on track, and she was even happier that their lives now included the promise of a beautiful new baby, as well as Holly.

She danced quietly out of Josh's office and back into the kitchen, pleasantly surprised to find Edward up and about.

"Good morning, big brother. What on earth are you doing up so early? And what's with the big, stupid grin?" she asked, pouring him a cup of coffee.

"I'm happy. What's it to you?" Edward said, clearing his throat and wiping the Holly-induced smile off his face.

It hadn't escaped Alice that her brother had been acting strange ever since she got back from London. It also hadn't escaped her that he'd practically glued himself to Holly's side over the last couple of days.

"I'm just saying ... since when have you been such a morning person? This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain houseguest of mine, would it?" she asked, prodding her favorite brother.

Edward's eyes immediately flew to the direction Josh's office, giving Alice all the answer she needed.

"Oh my God-I knew it. You've got it bad for Holly," she accused, making a disapproving tsking sound with her tongue.

"Will you shut your beak before Josh hears you? You don't know what you're talking about, so can it," he warned in a low voice.

Alice slid two pans of blueberry muffin batter into the oven. "Wow, you really _do_ like her, huh? Well, don't worry. I'm not going to tell Josh anything, because I'm putting a stop to this right now," she said matter-of-factly, licking a drop of batter off the side of her thumb.

Edward sighed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Please, enlighten me," he said, pretending to be only half-interested as he sipped his coffee and scanned the business section of _The Seattle Times_.

Alice crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "Do you even have to ask, Edward? You've never been in a relationship with any kind of substance. Hell, you've never been in a relationship that lasted more than a _week_ and didn't completely revolve around your penis. Holly is special to me, and she's Josh's baby sister. For reasons that I won't even go into with you, I am not going to let you just waltz in, get what you want, and break her heart."

Edward was right. She had no idea what she was talking about. Alice was dead wrong about his intentions with Holly, but he couldn't blame her for thinking the way she did. He'd never given her any other scenarios to base her conclusions on, so he could understand her concern.

Holly wasn't just another spoiled socialite with a one-track mind. She was different. Being with Holly opened his eyes to things that, not so long ago, he'd considered beneath his intellect. Like the ridiculous, lovesick manner in which Josh regarded Alice or the sky-high pedestal that Emmett built for Rosalie to sit upon. Emmett, the crazy fool, would lick the ground Rose walked on. Edward had never understood any of this ridiculous behavior-until now.

His heart was consumed by Holly's flame every waking moment. He floated around on cloud nine just thinking about her. He understood that his past was the reason why no one could take him seriously, but he also didn't care about what anyone else thought-only Holly.

"I would never hurt her in any way, Alice, so drop it," he said in a hushed voice. He was growing tired of her already, and it wasn't even ten o'clock.

Alice opened her mouth to reinforce her warning to lay off but stopped when Holly appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Holly said and looked questioningly between Edward and Alice. She hadn't heard what was said, but she'd caught the final notes of Edward's tone, and whatever they were discussing sounded private.

Alice beamed a thousand-watt smile. "Of course not, sweetheart. Come get some coffee," she offered, and squealed as she hurried around the counter to get a better look at her sister-in-law. Holly was wearing one of her new dresses. "Oh, wow! That color is fabulous on you. Don't you just _love_ Dior?" Alice cooed, scooting Holly into a chair at the opposite end of the bar from her over-sexed brother.

Holly tried to keep her mouth from twisting into a smile as big as Alice's when she saw that Edward was also appreciating the lemon yellow sundress she'd decided on wearing to meet the rest of their family. "Thanks, Alice. I really love it. Yellow is my favorite color," she said and rolled her eyes when she glanced at Edward and he winked at her. She pointedly turned her attention away from him and studied her nails.

To Edward and Holly, Alice seemed oblivious to their little exchange. She walked around the breakfast bar to retrieve the orange juice from the fridge. "Well I can see why. It looks great on you," she said and smacked the back of Edward's smiling head when Holly wasn't paying attention. He gave Alice a warning look, conveying the message that he was at the end of his rapidly fraying rope with her. She responded with a look that effectively said, _bring it on, buddy_.

Jasper and Joshua soon joined the three of them in the kitchen, and they shared a casual breakfast of muffins, scrambled eggs, and bacon at the countertop.

It was easy for Holly to forget all the craziness of the last twenty-four hours when surrounded by this family. In fact, she could barely get her breakfast down amongst all the laughter. The banter between Jasper, Edward, and Alice was priceless and never-ending. Even Josh joined in, and the three men would alternate between ganging up on Alice and ripping on each other.

Unexplained tears threatened to escape, and Holly could only guess that they were due to her total happiness. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt like she actually belonged somewhere. Afraid of looking like a fool, she forced the tears back down and shoved a big forkful of eggs in her mouth, swallowing around another fit of giggles.


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

Carlisle and Esme's house was only fifteen minutes from Josh's, but as they drove through the gates of Hidden Meadow Estates-Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's exclusive neighborhood-Holly felt as if she were in another world entirely. Josh and Alice's gated community was freshly built and modern. Of the thirty or so mansions, there appeared to be only three or four models, which the builders used when creating the lofty subdivision. Esme and Carlisle's neck-of-the-woods, on the other hand, was a little older, a lot wealthier, and each stately home was unique in its design. Holly loved the character and charm of the iron-lamp lined streets, and she took in the beauty of each and every breathtaking home that they passed.

Every once in a while, Edward would sigh heavily from the back seat and she would snicker to herself. Just as he'd been about to slide into the SUV next to Holly, Alice had dragged him away by the collar to 'look at something' with her. She'd then shoved anunsuspecting Jasper into the vehicle to take Edward's place. When the arguing pair had finally returned-Edward, still being dragged around by his shirt-Alice opened the door of the sleek, black Denali and, with the flick of her tiny wrist, tossed him into the third row of seating where he now sat alone. She'd promptly slammed the door on the endless stream of cursing that spouted from a disgruntled and disheveled Edward like an overdue geyser.

They turned onto a long driveway that was lined on either side with magnificent cherry trees. For a moment, the sinister, gray sky was completely blocked out, and Holly could see nothing past the showers of pink petals being dropped by their branches. It was like being inside a snow globe.

Finally, the grand house came into view, and Holly's jaw dropped. It was larger than any of the other homes in the neighborhood, yet somehow seemed less pretentious. The house was stark white with royal blue shutters and a large, crimson door.

"Home, sweet home," Jasper said, leaning towards Holly.

She smiled excitedly at him and caught a glimpse of Edward in the back seat rolling his eyes,his arms crossed petulantly over his chest.

As soon as Josh put the vehicle in park, Edward pushed Jasper out of the way and extricated himself from the SUV. He ran around the other side and had Holly's door open before she even had the chance to unfasten her seatbelt. Holly laughed at his zealous display but thanked him, accepting his outstretched hand as she descended from the monstrous vehicle.

Edward wanted so badly to continue holding her hand. He longed to wrap his arm around her narrow waist and keep her close by his side. No such luck. He almost snarled at Alice, who was giving him the stink-eye, as she headed their way.

She quickly reverted to her happy face for Holly. "Here we are! Mom and Dad can't wait to meet you. Let's get inside before it starts to rain," Alice said, pulling Holly away from Edward and dragging her ahead of the crowd.

Before they could make it too far, Josh grabbed Alice's arm to slow her down.

"Alice, darling, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but why don't you and your brothers go on ahead? I would like a few moments with Holly, and it's probably best if you let me introduce her to your parents. We'll be right behind you, I promise," he said gently in the face of her annoyance.

Alice sighed and fixed her already-perfect hair. "Fine. But, don't take too long with her."

Edward put a seemingly friendly arm around Alice, and she squealed as his fingers dug into her shoulder. His arm was wrapped too tightly around her, leaving no room for Alice to be able to reciprocate like she wanted.

"Come on, Al, she needs a break from you anyway. We all do," he said, and Alice gave him a sharp look.

Alice's protests faded into the distance as Edward led her away with Jasper following close behind.

Holly laughed again and turned to her brother. "Alice is great, Josh. In fact, everyone has been so nice. You've got one crazy family."

"Yeah, and you've only met half of them," Josh said with a laugh. Holly realized it was the first genuine smile she'd seen on her brother's face since she started staying with him. Josh continued, "I just wanted to ask how you're doing after yesterday. And to apologize for my wife treating you like her own personal Barbie doll," he said in embarrassment, gesturing to her dress.

Holly smiled and shook her head. "Yesterday shook me up, but I'm fine. You were right-about everything. I should have never argued with you about it. I was a little freaked out when I woke up, but Edward was there. He's done a great job at making me feel safe. And, as far as Alice is concerned, I should be the one apologizing to _you_. I can't even guess how much of your money she wasted on me yesterday," she admitted, smoothing the skirt of her bright yellow, designer sundress.

Josh placed a hand on her back as they started walking toward the house. "Well, whatever it was, you deserve much more. It definitely wasn't a waste, Holly. We're happy to help you however we can. And, about Edward ... I know he can be very charming, but if he's being inappropriate or making you feel uncomfortable at all-"

Holly cut him off. "What? Not in the slightest-please, don't think that. Edward has been nothing but a lifesaver to me. I feel like I owe him my sanity," she said, laughing at Josh's absurd presumption.

"All right. Well, just be careful. Edward has a short attention span when it comes to women, and I don't want to have to break his neck if he does anything stupid," he said all too seriously.

Holly didn't respond. Of all the hours and hours she and Edward had spent talking, the one subject they never spent much time on was their respective dating histories. However, he did reveal that he'd never been in love, after Holly divulged the same about herself. They didn't continue any deeper into conversation, and Holly figured it was none of her business, but Josh's tone suggested Edward was only after one thing. She almost laughed as she dismissed the thought. _If that's the case, he sure missed one hell of an opportunity last night_, she thought.

They reached the top of the front steps, and a beautiful woman with auburn hair and bright green eyes ran out of the house to greet them.

"Hello, Joshua," she said, embracing her son-in-law in a long hug.

Holly stood politely with her hands clasped before her, smiling at the scene.

Esme pulled back and turned to Holly with warm, kind eyes.

Josh gestured to Holly. "This is my little sister, Holly. Holly, this is my beautiful mother-in-law, Esme Cullen," he introduced.

With a wave of her hand, Esme dismissed his compliment and walked towards Holly. "It's so wonderful to finally meet you. You're every bit as lovely as Alice described. Welcome to our family, honey," she declared, wrapping her arms tightly around Holly.

"It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen. Thank you for having me," Holly replied shyly.

"Please, call me Esme. Come inside, and you can help me and Alice in the kitchen. We can get to know each other," Esme said warmly, locking arms with Holly as they walked into the house.

Esme and Carlisle's home was every bit as comforting on the inside as the outside suggested. It was tastefully decorated in the style of French country, and speckled throughout with pieces of folk art that they'd collected over the years from their travels around the world.

They entered the large, but cozy, living room where Jasper, Edward, and a very handsome man with the same baby blue eyes as Emmett were seated. The man, Dr. Cullen, she presumed, stood to greet them.

"Holly, this is my husband, Carlisle," Esme introduced lovingly.

Holly extended her hand, which Carlisle warmly accepted with both of his.

"Welcome, Holly. We've been waiting to meet you for some time, it seems. Please, make yourself comfortable. Our home is your home, darling. I hope my children have been treating you well." His smile was dazzling.

Holly blushed. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen. Everyone's been great. You have a wonderful family. Josh is lucky."

"Yes, well, we're lucky to have him, too. You don't know how long I waited for someone to come along and take Alice off my hands. I was so delighted, I made him partner," Carlisle teased with a wink.

"Daddy!" Alice whined loudly from the kitchen, and Holly couldn't suppress her laughter.

Carlisle turned back to Holly, his face serious. "I understand you had a close call yesterday, and I want to apologize for the danger we've put you in. However, I'm glad that you found us when you did. I won't consider what could have happened if you'd stayed in Forks alone any longer. Despite the scare you had yesterday, it seems fate has stepped in and put you in the right place at the right time. Please know that you are safe with us, Holly, and that my family and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you are never put in a position like that again."

Holly thought of Edward's similar proclamation to her last night, and she was touched. These people owed her nothing but were ready to sacrifice their own security to ensure hers.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. I do feel safe here. I'm just so happy to have Josh back in my life again-getting to be a part of your family is a bonus I never expected. I don't know what to say except, thank you," she said, begging her childish tears to remain unshed.

"Come on, dear. Let's go in the kitchen and fix you something to drink," Esme directed, ushering Holly through a large hallway and into a spectacular, full-blown chef's kitchen.

Holly sat down on a stool at a sparkling sunstone-colored, counter-top, and Alice handed her a large glass of sweet smelling, honey-gold liquid with a stick of fruit floating in it.

"Mom's peach Sangria," Alice explained, "Try it-you won't be disappointed."

Holly took a sip and smiled. The fruit and juice mixture was heavenly, and she happily took another, longer drink. "Thank you. It's delicious, Esme," she proclaimed.

Esme and Alice shared a knowing smile as Holly drained half her glass. "Carlisle and I honeymooned in Spain. Most of our time was spent in Andalusia, and that's where I learned how to make Sangria. I've modified the recipe over the years, but the idea is the same: wine, juice, fruit, and a little brandy," Esme explained with a telling smile.

Holly's eyes widened and she put down her cup. "Oh, I didn't even taste the brandy. I better slow down, then," she said, blushing at her foolishness. The last time Holly had experimented with brandy, she ended up spending the entire night curled up next to the toilet at Angela's parent's house-they were only seventeen. That night also marked the official end to Holly's short-lived streak of rebellion.

From somewhere in the house, Emmett's roaring voice sounded. Seconds later a stunning woman with waist-long, blonde hair entered the kitchen-Rosalie, Holly guessed. She carried a beautiful little girl, no more than two years old, on her hip.

"My _baby_!" Esme exclaimed. She swooped the child out of Rosalie's arms and crushed her against her chest. The toddler shrieked in excitement.

Alice ran around the counter to stand by Holly. "Rose, this is Holly-Josh's sister. Holly, this is Emmett's wife, and my best friend, Rosalie."

Holly hopped down from the barstool. Her head was already swimming from stupidly chugging Esme's intoxicating concoction. She stuck her hand out, expecting to shake Rosalie's.

Rosalie looked her up and down, appraising her. "It's nice to meet you, Holly. I'm sure you're happy to be here," she quipped, ignoring Holly's outstretched hand.

"Rose," Esme warned quietly, chiding Rosalie's bad manners.

Alice glared at Rosalie and changed the subject. "And this little angel is Sophie-my niece, and the apple of everyone's eye."

Holly smiled, brushing off the snub as best she could. She turned to the blue-eyed beauty that clung to Esme's shoulder. "Hello, Sophie. My goodness, you are so pretty," she said and put her finger in Sophie's outstretched hand.

Rose situated Sophie, keeping her busy with books and toys in the playpen that was already stationed in the corner of the kitchen as the girls worked on dinner and chatted. Holly kept sipping her Sangria, finding the more the spirits affected her, the less nervous she felt. Rose, Alice, and Esme carried on as if Holly's presence was nothing out of the ordinary.

No one mentioned the trial or the Volturi family, and Holly was glad for that. She was fascinated by the beautiful women and enjoyed watching them interact with one another. Holly was thankful that no one asked the questions that were undoubtedly on their minds regarding her and Josh. Instead, she was able to relax and enjoy the easy atmosphere that surrounded the Cullens and everything they touched.

Esme's musical laughter filled the air as Rosalie shared stories of Sophie's relentless reign of terror on their golden retriever-mix, Doug. Rose didn't understand it, but it seemed the delusional mutt loved every minute of the attention-however brutal-that Sophie bestowed upon him. Holly almost choked on the cracker she was nibbling on to counter the alcohol, when Rosalie described poor, aging Doug as a hopeless masochist.

About an hour later, Edward strolled into the kitchen to throw the guys' collection of empty Heineken bottles in the recycling bin. Holly tried hard not to gawk, but he looked so appealing. Aside from his pajamas the previous night, she had only ever seen him in button-up shirts and slacks. The vision before her was a far cry from the professional look he usually donned. With faded jeans that hung casually low on his hips, a snug fitting Pink Floyd T-shirt, and his bronze hair tucked away under a gray knit cap, Edward looked more like a college co-ed than an attorney. Nonetheless, Holly thought he looked absolutely divine.

Edward plucked Sophie out of her playpen and tickled her into a screaming fit. He lifted her high in the air, much to her delight, before setting her back down. Kissing Esme on the cheek, he stole a slice of brie from her cutting board.

"Hello, my son. What brings you to the estrogen-fest?" Esme asked, smiling up at Edward.

Edward walked around the bar and casually put a hand on Holly's back. She was instantly warmed by his presence. "Don't worry, I'm not staying. I just came to see if Holly would be interested in a tour of our childhood home. What do you think, doll?" he asked with doting eyes and a dapper smile, ignoring Alice's icy glare.

"Yeah, I would love that. I think I'm doing more harm than good here, anyway," Holly admitted, looking pitifully at the pile of mutilated fruit in front of her. _Who screws up a fruit salad? _she thought, embarrassed again.

"What a good idea, Edward. Dinner will be served in an hour. Oh, and could you two stop by the garden? I need more basil. I don't think I will have enough for the salad _and_ the salmon." Esme regarded them both with an approving smile. The way her son looked at Holly reminded her of the way Carlisle still looked at her, and she liked the idea of letting Holly and Edward explore some alone time together.

"Sure thing, Mom," Edward replied, and helped Holly down from the barstool. He led her through a set of pocket doors that opened to another wing of the house.

They meandered through hallway after hallway and talked randomly about the art that hung on the walls. Edward was pleasantly surprised, and a little aroused, that Holly seemed to know a thing or two about it. Time after time when he looked at her, he had to stop himself from pushing her hair behind her ear or stroking her soft cheek. She was so stunning. So warm and inviting-like home. He settled, instead, on keeping his hand firmly wrapped around hers.

"This architecture is amazing. It must have been a lot of fun growing up in a house with so many hallways and secret passages to explore," she observed whimsically.

Edward smiled in remembrance. "Yeah, we had a lot of fun. Our imaginations were always running wild." He led her up a hidden spiral staircase, which took them to a long hallway lined with doors.

He opened the first door and ushered her in. "This was Alice's room, if you couldn't guess."

Holly looked around with a smile. "Wow. It's so ... pink!" She giggled as she looked around the room. From the carpet, to the walls, to the sparkling mosquito net that surrounded the large bed, everywhere she turned she was met with a different shade of pink.

Rolling his eyes, Edward sighed. "In her own mind, Alice was a princess. We used to tease her a lot. See, my dad has constant stomach issues and was never without his bottle of nasty pink stuff. We used to tell her that the hardware store ran out of pink paint, and he had to finish the baseboards with Pepto. She cried."

Laughing, Holly smacked his arm. "You guys sure do give her a lot of crap. Why don't you show me your room, and we'll see if you were any cooler," she challenged, cocking an eyebrow and walking past him out the door.

He followed Holly back into the hallway, shaking his head. "I don't think so. Can't you read the sign, '_**No girls allowed'**_. Guess you're out of luck." He shrugged.

Holly walked up to his door and studied the handmade sign, grinning ear-to-ear. "Oh, that's classic. Is your bed a rocket ship, too?" she said wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Embarrassed, Edward rubbed the back of his neck and opened the door. "It might as well be," he muttered, flipping on the light.

Holly covered her smile as she turned around, taking in every inch of the crazy that was Edward's room. It was decked out to the nines in space gear and ... rocks? Scale-model planets hung from the ceiling, and the walls were painted in dark blue with swirls of white to give the impression you were surrounded by the Milky Way. She ran her fingers over a large white telescope that was stationed next to a bay window and crossed the room, flopping down on the full size bed. Sure enough, his sheets had planets on them.

"Boy, I was close, wasn't I?" She giggled again, and his cheeks grew redder. This boyish side of Edward was a pleasant, new experience for her.

Edward stretched out next to her on the bed, tracing his finger up and down her arm. "Yes. You were very close."

Propping herself up on one elbow, Holly's brow creased. "I'm confused, though. Most kids are dying to get rid of all their childhood crap before high school. You must have liked pretending to live in outer space as much as Alice liked living in a bottle of Pepto." She teased, linking her free hand with his.

"First of all, my room is the _shit_. Second of all, I didn't need my room much after middle school. Mom and Dad sent us to a prep school in Massachusetts in lieu of regular high school. We were out of the house after eighth grade, hence why my room never changed. Now it just serves as a constant reminder of how cool I really am-should I ever forget. I did love space, though. For a long time I wanted to be an astronomer or a geologist. As I got older, the desire to be just like my father outweighed my childhood dreams, so I stayed in Boston and went to Harvard," he finished.

"Wow, you left when you were so young and were gone for so long. Didn't you miss your parents?" Holly asked softly.

Edward kissed her fingers before answering her question. He enjoyed the warm feeling they left on his lips. "Terribly. But, we were always home for holidays and summer vacations. Mom and Dad would visit as often as they could, so we never went too long without all being together again."

Lost in his gaze, Holly wanted so badly to kiss him. To keep herself from falling into his trance, she reluctantly stood up and walked to the door. Turning back to him, she leaned against the frame. "Show me more," she whispered and walked out of the room.

Edward hesitated for about three seconds, before he hastily clamored off the bed to follow her.

They walked through the rest of the house, and, as promised, they made the last stop of the tour Esme's vast garden. There were rows and rows of herbs and flowers with stone paths down the center of each. Holly took a deep breath, savoring the aroma of fresh thyme and lavender. They spotted the basil, and Edward ripped off a large handful to bring his mother. He handed it to Holly to hold onto and turned away, searching for something. Careful not to stab himself, he snapped the head off a small, cream-colored rose, and moved closer to Holly to secure it behind her ear.

Her lips parted, and her breathing slowed, as she took the opportunity to study his face. She marveled at the change of color in his eyes. In the rays of the late afternoon sun, Edward's eyes transformed from the deep emerald that she had grown to adore into bright, sparkling peridot. Their beauty was transcendent-hypnotic.

Once he was satisfied with the flower's placement, he moved her hair back into place and glanced behind her. With a smile, he turned her around by her shoulders and pointed out a large tree house that was nestled high in the branches of a sprawling maple. Holly's jaw dropped, and she inhaled sharply at the sight.

He told her the story of how he, Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper had spent an entire spring building it together. Edward was only five, so he couldn't possibly have been any help at all, but it remainedone of his fondest childhood memories. He and his siblings spent much of their youth within its walls.

"It's so great, Edward. Is it safe? Can we go up?" Holly asked, her eyes dancing with excitement.

Edward laughed and grabbed her hand, leading her across the yard. "This thing is solid-trust me. Esme has kept it structurally sound for when Sophie is older. After you," he said, gesturing to the rope ladder that led up to a square cut-out in the bottom of the 'porch' of the massive play-thing.

Holly shook her head and smiled. "In this dress? I don't think so. After you, jerk," she said playfully.

Edward's blush returned in all its glory. Though he'd been appreciating her perfect legs all day, the fact that she was in a dress hadn't even crossed his mind when he suggested she go up first. "I didn't-I wasn't-I just ... Ugh, I'm sorry," Edward finally muttered, giving up on trying to formulate a coherent sentence. _Damn it, this girl is going to be the end of me!_ he thought.

Holly laughed and pointed to the ladder. "After you, Mr. Cullen," she repeated.

With his head down, Edward quickly walked to the ladder and climbed its length. She laughed at his chagrin.

Holly set the basil and her rose carefully on the ground before following him up the ladder. When she was near the top, Edward grabbed her arm, easily lifting her onto the platform. She stood up and brushed off the back of her skirt. The enormous structure before her was incredible. The tree house was a kid-sized replica of the mansion behind her. The inside was a large, open room, completely finished with drywall and hardwood floors.

Holly laughed with delight. "This is amazing!" she exclaimed, surprised that she could stand completely erect and still have plenty of head room. Edward, however, was skimming the ceiling.

She noticed that the large room could be sectioned off in the middle by a set of folding doors. Holly could just imagine Alice demanding a wing of her own to escape the prepubescent, cootie-ridden boys. The thought made her smile even wider. She crossed the room and flopped down onto a massive leather beanbag.

"This is, by far, the largest beanbag I've ever seen. It could easily sleep five people." She laughed again, still in wonder of it all. For the first time in far too long, she felt young and carefree.

With a running start, Edward dove into the bag beside her. Holly screamed as her side rose considerably from the impact. She rolled over to look down at him and laughed as Edward cozied himself deeper into the fluff. He opened his eyes to her, and she laid her head on her arm, appreciating the view.

"Thank you for the tour, Edward." She looked around the tree house. "I bet you had lots of girls up here. This thing is a total chick magnet."

Edward reached up and grabbed her free hand, drawing her attention back to him once again. "Just the one," he murmured against her knuckles.

Unable to help himself any longer, he rose up on one elbow and stole a kiss. Holly's heart rejoiced, and her lips tingled. She pulled off the gray knit cap he was wearing and tossed it aside, running her fingers through his messy hair-something she'd wanted to do since their first kiss by the piano.

Edward rolled onto his back, pulling her off the ledge he created and onto him. He rolled them both over again so he was on top of her. Nuzzling and kissing her neck, he savored the tantalizing scent of her skin.

Holly couldn't keep her hands out of his hair. She was enjoying the feel of it between her fingers as she lightly tugged on handfuls of the soft, sexy mess.

Edward finally abandoned her neck and tugged her face toward him by her chin. He kissed her wildly, passionately, before he pulled back and licked his lips. "Mmm, Mom's Sangria," he said, breathing heavily.

"Let's not talk about your mother right now." Holly panted, hungrily pulling his face back to hers.

She raked her fingers up Edward's back, over his thin T-shirt, and into his hair once again, forcing a husky moan to escape his lips. Any shred of control he had left was surrendered at that moment. Before he knew it, his hand was running under her skirt and up her unbelievably silky thigh. He roughly hitched her leg up around his waist and she responded by sighing and pressing herself against the bulge that had formed in his pants.

Edward growled hungrily as his hand settled on her hip. He grasped the material of her chaste cotton bikini briefs, knowing he could tear them to shreds in a fraction of a second. That thought brought him back to his senses. With his heart pounding, Edward cursed under his breath against her mouth. Using every ounce of will he had left, he pulled himself away from Holly. He sat at the edge of the giant beanbag with his head down and his hands in his hair.

Holly was dazed and very confused. "Are you okay, Edward? Is something wrong?" she asked, scooting herself to the edge of the bag next to him.

Embarrassment swallowed her whole when Edward shrugged her hand away and stood up, walking across the tree house.

She choked down the lump in her throat and stood up as well, wringing her hands until her fingers were in knots. "I-I don't understand what just happened here."

Sighing wearily, he quickly walked back across the room towards her and grasped her shoulders firmly. "You have to stop doing this to me, Holly. I don't have the control," he rasped through swollen lips.

Holly was shocked and incredulous-and angry. She wrenched herself from his grasp. "Excuse me? Stop doing this to _you_? Look, I had no idea that being with me made you so uncomfortable, but you kissed me. Remember? And you seemed to have _plenty_ of self-control last night after pulling that crap in my bedroom. Why didn't you just tell me you weren't interested, Edward? I would've stopped throwing myself at you days ago. God, I'm such an _idiot_!" she admonished, turning to leave before he could witness the angry tears that were well on their way in response to his rejection.

Realizing that Holly was getting the wrong idea and that he had unintentionally hurt her feelings, Edward grabbed her hand and spun her back around. His heart crumbled when he saw her large hazel eyes glistening-full of the unshed tears that he'd caused.

"Wait-please, don't misunderstand me. I care a lot about you-a lot. And, I love, _love, _the time we've spent together and everything we've done during that time. I _am_ interested in you, can't you see that? In fact, I'm _so _interested in you that it's hard for me to stop when I should-to treat you like a lady." Edward ran his hands through his hair in frustration at her misconception. "Holly, every little thing about you turns me on. And, while my heart is screaming at me to slow down and take my time, my mind and body want to rip your clothes off and take you here and now-in the middle of a Goddamned tree house for Christ's sake! You deserve so much better than what's going through my head. _Trust_ me," he said, ashamed of his admission. He saw a stray tear slide down Holly's stunned face that she quickly brushed away, and he sighed. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. Please, don't cry," he finished, pulling her into a strong embrace.

Holly sniffled. "I wasn't crying. I was angry," she mumbled into his shirt. She could hear deep chuckles echoing in Edward's chest and pushed herself indignantly away from him. "Now you're laughing at me? Edward, the more time I spend with you, the less I seem to understand you. I don't get it. Everyone keeps warning me to be careful around you-that you'll hump anything with a pulse. Yet, here I am, practically forcing myself on you, and you can't get away from me fast enough. You say that you like me, but all you do is tease me and then run off in the opposite direction. I don't know how much more of your rejection I can stand. One minute you're hot, and the next minute you're pushing me away. Is there something fundamentally _wrong_ with me? I'm starting to develop a little bit of a complex here," Holly finished. She crossed her arms and waited for his explanation.

His lips parted, and he let out a slow breath as he looked into her perfect eyes. "You're very special to me, Holly. There's _nothing_ wrong with you, that's the thing. You're good and innocent, and I'm ... _not_. You should know that I've spent a lot of time with a lot of different girls-girls that I never cared about or even tried to get to know. God that sounds awful, but it's true. Then you just show up, out of the blue, and you're so far above every one of those girls. Suddenly, for the first time in my life, I care. I care about you, I care about what you think of me, and I don't know what the hell to do or how to act. Feeling like this ... it's new to me, and, because I would never want to hurt you-much like I already have-I have to learn how to do things the right way. I want to be better for you than I was for them. I can't even fathom it, but if there is a God, and I'm _lucky_ enough to be your first time ... you deserve perfection."

He squeezed his eyes shut the second the words fell out of his mouth. _She_ didn't tell him she was a virgin, _Emmett_ did. Realizing he just fucked up big time, he somehow managed to embarrass Holly even further.

Holly's eyes were wide as stop signs. The color drained from her face, and she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "Christ, Edward! Did Alice tell you that I-never mind. She's dead-I'm going to kill her!" she yelled frantically.

Before Edward could catch her, she was out the door. He went after her, but she was already descending the ladder, still muttering about Alice's impending demise.

"Fuck my life," Edward murmured, exiting the security of his childhood.


	9. Chapter 9

Nine

Holly was absolutely mortified, but more than anything, she was furious that Alice would tell her most personal secret to the family-to _Edward,_ of all people. She stomped past Carlisle, Esme, Josh, and Jasper, who were out on the patio gathering the corn and other vegetables off the grill. She waltzed past them into the house without saying a word. Edward was hot on her heels, calling after her.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, _what_ have you done to her? And where is my basil?" Esme asked with her hands on her hips. Edward flinched as his mother's sharp tone stopped him in his tracks.

He turned around to face his family. Carlisle and Jasper were confused, Josh was glaring at him with a clenched jaw, and Esme was waiting for an answer.

"I didn't do anything, Mom, except open my big, stupid mouth. It's Alice she's angry with. I don't know what happened to your basil. I have to go," he hastily explained, turning on his heel and continuing his pursuit.

When he entered the house, Holly was stalking from the living room to the kitchen, growing more and more frustrated.

"Where is she?" she growled, not waiting for an answer before barging into the dining room.

Bingo. Rosalie was strapping Sophie into a highchair as Emmett and Alice munched on a platter of crudités. Alice looked up when Holly burst through the door, and her smile turned into a look of confusion at the scowl on Holly's face.

"Alice, may I speak with you in the other room, please?" Holly asked, failing to keep her voice from shaking with anger.

"Um, are you okay? You look pretty upset," Alice responded, and glanced questioningly at Edward who was fidgeting nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"If you'll please follow me, I'll be _happy_ to explain," Holly said through her teeth, ignoring Edward's presence behind her.

Alice shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. You look pretty scary right now," she said, avoiding Holly's penetrating stare.

"Alice, he knows. _Why_ does he know?" Holly said, cutting to the chase. She was practically vibrating with anger and embarrassment.

Alice's eyes went wide, and she turned and smacked Rosalie on the arm. "Rose!" she accused.

Rosalie huffed and glared at her husband. "Dammit, Emmett," she hissed.

"Oh, God," Alice moaned and wearily dropped her head into her hand.

"Sorry," Emmett said sheepishly, flinching when Rose punched his huge arm.

"Idiot," Rose muttered under her breath.

Holly blanched, and the air rushed out of her lungs. "Oh, my God! Everyone knows? You had to make it a topic for family discussion? I think I'm going to be sick." A wave of nausea turned Holly's stomach. She shuddered as she imagined everyone sitting around, having a good laugh at her expense. She suddenly had the burning desire to run screaming from the house, and not stop until she was back in Forks.

"Everyone knows _what_? What is going on in here?" Esme said, suddenly appearing in the doorway. She looked pointedly at Alice, knowing she was somehow the culprit.

Alice sighed. "Nothing, Mom. I told Rose something about Holly in confidence, and she let it spread like wildfire," she explained, glaring at Rosalie, who just shrugged in return.

Holly shook her head, her arms holding her churning stomach tightly. "No, Alice. I told _you_ something in confidence. You started the fire."

"I'm _so_ sorry, Holly. I shouldn't have said a word. I never intended for the information to get back to Edward." She looked at her brother and threw her half-eaten carrot stick at him. "Are you insane? How could you embarrass her like that? I swear to God you're hopeless!"

"Screw you, Alice! All of this is _your_ fault," he accused and picked up a radish, successfully launching it at her head.

"Everyone, stop this, _now_!" Esme commanded in a booming voice. At once, Alice hung her head in shame and Edward quickly slid into his chair, still glaring at his sister. Jasper, Josh, and Carlisle entered the dining room, giving Esme a wide birth as they sidestepped carefully around her. "Whatever fire was started, I'm putting it out right now. Holly, whatever happened, I apologize for the ridiculous behavior of my asinine children," she said glaring at Alice first, then Edward. She took a deep breath and gestured to the empty chair next to Holly. "Please, have a seat so we can start dinner like a civilized family."

The only open seat was between Edward and Jasper. Holly took a deep breath and planted her bottom firmly in the plush chair. She glanced at Jasper, who wore a guilty expression and refused to look her in the eye. _Excellent,_ she thought grimly, rolling her eyes. All she wanted to do was crawl under a large rock and die.

Dinner was served, and they ate in a heavy, tense silence. Edward kept glancing at Holly from under his lashes, but she never looked his way. In fact, she was perched as far away from him as the seat of her chair would allow without her falling onto the floor at Jasper's side. He felt awful about everything. Edward desperately wanted to apologize to her for his idiotic slip of the tongue. He wanted to reassure her that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. He _really_ wanted to tell her that her inexperience was an enormous turn on for him, but he knew he couldn't go that far.

Carlisle cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with a blue linen napkin. "Okay, that's enough of this silence. I don't know what happened here today, and I don't care to know, but I won't have Holly feeling uncomfortable around us," he announced, turning to Holly. "Sweetheart, please let me apologize on behalf of my family. You must know that you're an enigma to us-a mystery. We all have a lot of questions surrounding both Josh and yourself. This is a very open family, and there are very few secrets between us," he said matter-of-factly. Holly snorted, and Carlisle continued, looking now at Josh. "I think you owe us a real introduction to the newest member of our family, Joshua," he finished, leaving the floor open for his son-in-law.

Josh carefully put his napkin on his plate and stood up. "You're right, Carlisle. But first, I owe Holly an apology. Holly, I know we talked last night, and I think we're both pretty clear on our feelings, but I want my family to know how truly sorry I am for abandoning you all those years ago. I am sorry for blaming you when Mom died, and I know now how incredibly absurd my reaction to her death was. I could have given you the best of everything; instead, I left you buried up to your neck in misery. I can't forgive myself for the opportunities you missed out on because of me, but I'll try every day to make it up to you by showing you the love and protection I never did before," he finished, his voice cracking at the end.

Holly flicked an errant tear off her cheek and stared miserably at her half-eaten plate of food. If she spoke now, the floodgates would burst open, so she didn't say anything.

Josh turned to his wife. "I owe you much more than an apology, Alice. I owe you my life. I was a cold, empty person when I met you. The first time I saw you, I knew I was done for. I wasn't good enough for you then, and I'm not good enough for you now. Still, you continue to love and believe in me. I found in you something that I had been missing for so long-unconditional, unending love. I'm sorry that I ever made you question your trust in me. Your family took me in as one of their own, and my life changed because of it. All of a sudden, I felt the love of a wonderful mother again," he said, turning to Esme. He then looked at Carlisle before he continued. "And for the first time ever, I had a father I could look up to-a father who loves and respects his family. You have been my mentor for the last six years, Carlisle. Yes, in my career, but more importantly, in my life. My greatest wish, and the most rewarding achievement I can ever strive for, is to be a fraction of the husband, man, and father you are. I want to continue to learn and grow from your example for the rest of my life."

Carlisle nodded slightly, touched by his son-in-law's words.

Alice stood up and threw her arms around Josh's neck. He picked her up and buried his face in her hair. She whispered against his neck, "Baby, you're going to be an amazing father." Pulling away from Josh, she wiped a stray tear from Josh's face before doing away with her own. Alice turned to the rest of the family and beamed. "Everyone, we have an announcement: Josh and I are going to have a baby-I'm two months pregnant," she declared and Josh wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side.

Everyone stood up, exclaiming their shock and surprise; Holly's jaw dropped. Esme squealed and ran around the table, wrapping her arms around both Josh and Alice. After a long moment, Alice shoved Josh out of the way and she and Esme hugged again, this time jumping up and down, screaming like two teenage girls.

Josh modestly stuck his hand out to shake Carlisle's but was pulled into a strong embrace. "I'm proud of you, son. Always know that," Carlisle reassured.

Alice tentatively made her way to Holly. "You're going to be an aunt now," Alice exclaimed quietly, with a hopeful smile.

Holly closed the gap between them and hugged her tightly. "Alice, you're going to be a wonderful mother. I couldn't be more excited for you," she said, genuinely happy. The earlier transgressions now seemed frivolous and inconsequential after the raw emotion of the last few minutes.

"I'm so sorry, Holly," Alice whispered, sincerely rueful.

Holly pulled away from her and smiled, shaking her head. "I'm fine, really-no harm done." _I hope, _Holly thought to herself.

Alice sighed in relief that Holly's anger with her was short-lived and flitted away happily. She darted across the room and flung herself into Carlisle's waiting arms.

A champagne bottle popped and Esme poured everyone a glass of very expensive-looking bubbly. She opened a separate bottle and poured a glass of sparkling apple juice for Alice. When everyone had their glasses in hand, Esme raised hers. "I raise a toast to family. I love each and every one of you with all of my heart, and my greatest joy has been watching this family grow before my eyes. Alice and Josh-I'm thrilled to hear you're finally giving me another grandchild. The two of you make a great team, and I know you will be phenomenal parents. And, Holly, we're all so glad you're here with us where you belong. We will love and cherish you-and our new little bundle-forever. Cheers," she finished and everyone clinked glasses.

Edward walked up behind Holly and reached around to touch his glass to hers. She had been busy trying to avoid any eye contact with him, and his sudden presence caught her off guard. "Congratulations, Aunt Holly," he whispered in her ear.

Holly's cheeks burned. A shiver ran down her spine at the sound of his voice and the brush of his breath on her cheek. She set her glass down and turned to him, finally daring to meet his gaze. Suddenly, they were the only people in the room. Everyone and everything around them faded into oblivion when he set his own glass down next to hers and grabbed her hands.

He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers. "I'll be a good boy. I promise," he purred. Holly rolled her eyes at him with pink cheeks and a shy smile, and Edward's heart melted to his feet.

Somewhere in the room, someone loudly cleared their throat. At once, the rest of the universe crashed down around them, and Holly lightly, reluctantly, pulled herself from Edward's hold. Her face quickly changed from pleasantly pink to bright red when she realized that everyone was staring at them with at least one eyebrow raised.

Holly busied herself with downing the rest of her champagne and thanked the God of Awkward Silences that the baby excitement was enough to keep the rest of the family from focusing on her and Edward's display for too long. Alice masterfully turned the attention back to herself and Josh, and the celebrating resumed.

The blissful joy lasted another hour or so, before Carlisle started talking business over a dessert of dark chocolate mousse. Apparently, there _were_ identifiable prints on the business card, and they indeed belonged to Jane Volturi. They traced the phone number, but it gave no leads. The numbers-the one on the business card and the one that called Holly's phone-were one and the same. As it turned out, it was just a cheap, prepaid phone with no other outgoing or incoming calls on it. They could reasonably assume that the phone had been used specifically to contact Holly and has undoubtedly been disposed of.

They were basically at a dead end, even though Carlisle didn't say as much. All they could do was wait for Aro to be found and placed back into custody. Even then, Holly wondered about everyone's safety. Clearly, there were other members of the Volturi family that detested the Cullen/McNamera name.

Holly listened on and off for what seemed like hours about the escape and what changes would have to be endured. There would be extra security measures taken by everyone. Currently they were arguing about whether or not bodyguards, or _chaperones_ as Carlisle called them, were necessary. Emmett was offended by the idea, insisting that _he_ was enough to keep Rose and Sophie safe. Carlisle felt differently, and the arguing ensued.

Stifling a yawn, Holly slipped away unnoticed to use the powder room. Standing over the pedestal sink, she splashed water on her face and stared at her reflection in the mirror. A little girl with red-rimmed eyes and puffy pink cheeks-effects from the Sangria and champagne-stared back at her. Her shoulders slumped at the image in the mirror, and she turned away from herself, hanging the fluffy white hand towel back on its rack. Taking a deep breath, she exited the bathroom and headed back towards the dining room. Rounding the corner, she nearly collided with Edward.

"There you are. Is everything all right?" he asked, placing a steadying hand on her arm.

"I'm fine-you startled me," she said, and her subconscious taunted her, _Virgin! Virgin! He knows you're a virgin!_

"Look, Holly, I'm not going to spend any more time embarrassing you tonight. The fact that you're inexperienced only means that you truly are perfect, as I already knew you were. Please, don't be mad at me or think that this at all changes how I feel about you," Edward said, his hand still lingering on her arm.

Holly shrugged. "I'm not mad at you. I'm more than a little embarrassed, but not mad. At least it explains your hesitation toward me, and I can't be mad at you for being a gentleman-or _trying _to be one, at least." She smirked. "I believe that was your hand up my skirt, if I remember accurately."

Edward cringed at her recollection of his behavior. "I'm sorry about that. It's just ... really hard to control myself around you. But, I'll keep my word-I'll be good."

Holly laughed and shook her head. "Edward, I'm teasing you. You don't have to baby me; I may be a virgin, but I'm not a child. And, if you haven't noticed, I want you, too," she quietly informed, looking down at her feet. Before she continued, she forced her eyes back to his-determined hazel stared into blazing malachite. "I mean, let's not mince words; I'm not exactly Marcia Brady. I feel like you're putting me on a pedestal-holding me to a standard that I will never be able to live up to. After twenty-three years of living my life around everyone else, I'm finally free to be me-to experience everything I've been missing out on. Edward, I'm not saving myself for marriage; I just never met anyone that I was interested in being that close to-until I met you," she finished. Her heart hammered in her chest. Holly was surprised by her ability to be so guileless but decided after everything that happened today, there was no point in being anything but honest with him.

Edward's eyes softened and he brushed her hair behind her ear, studying her perfection as he contemplated the magnitude of what she just told him. Despite what Holly said, he wanted to earn that pot of gold-to be someone who deserved what she had to offer. She had something that waved bye-bye to him long ago-honest virtue. Even if she didn't have any interest in protecting and cherishing it, he certainly did.

Finally, he drew an uneven breath, figuring he owed her his candor as well. "I know you've been repressed, Holly, and I understand what you're saying-I do. But I feel like there's something great happening between us that's worth taking the time to explore. I've _always_ moved to quickly in the past, and it's never ended well. Like I told you earlier, this is as new for me as it is for you." The fact that he was uttering such heartfelt words-and honestly meaning them-was so incredulous to Edward that he had to laugh. "On one hand, I can barely contain the animal inside me. The anticipation of us getting to that point may very well be the death of me. On the other hand, I'm enjoying the journey we're taking to get there more than I ever thought I could.

"I'm not holding you to any standard-hell, you _are _the standard now. You're so ... incredible and so beautiful; every day we spend together stirs something new inside of me. It's confusing as hell, but I like it," Edward told her with a boyish smile. He liked that he could talk candidly to Holly, although he knew he was making himself quite vulnerable-another first for him. He moved closer to Holy and wrapped his arms around her with a light chuckle. "I wasn't expecting to have this conversation when I went looking for you, but I guess it needed to happen. Actually, I came to find you so I could ask you to dinner tomorrow-dinner _my_ way. I would love nothing more than to take you on a proper date," he said, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

Holly pulled back to stare into his bright green eyes, searching for something, only she didn't know what. Finally, she smiled and nodded her head. "I would love that, Edward."

Letting out the breath he'd been holding for what seemed an eternity, Edward smiled in return and wrapped his arms tighter around her back, kissing her lips.

"Where are you taking her?" Alice asked into her phone, foregoing any introduction at all. She was still angry with Edward for spilling the beans the previous day and getting her into trouble with Holly.

"Well, hello to you, too. I'm fine, thank you. And how are you, Alice?" Edward asked, still rather annoyed with his meddling little sister. He decided a little torment on her part couldn't hurt.

"Spare me the crap, Edward. I know you're taking Holly out tonight-I need to know where?" she asked, not in the mood for his games. All she needed was a simple answer.

"I see. Did Holly _tell_ you I was taking her out, or are you just sticking your beak in everyone's business without being asked, as per usual?" He smiled, thoroughly enjoying himself.

Alice seethed. "No, she didn't tell me, but she's been holed up in her room for two hours now, trying on clothes; I put two and two together. Just tell me where you're taking her," she demanded.

"Okay, all right, calm down. I wouldn't want you going into cardiac arrest ... or would I?" Edward asked thoughtfully. He was getting a kick out of stringing her along and could practically feel the heat coming through his phone.

"I swear to God," Alice muttered under her breath. "Look, the only reason I'm asking is because the poor girl is clueless. Did you even tell her where you were taking her? All I want to do is help, and you being a giant _ass_ isn't helping anyone," Alice snapped.

With great effort, Edward kept his tone even and calm. "Oh, Alice. I think you've helped quite enough. Bye-bye."

Before he could hang up, Alice's high-pitched, desperate plea pierced his eardrum. "Okay, okay, Edward! I get it. _I'm_ the ass, and Holly has every right to be mad at me. Please, just tell me where you are taking her. You have to remember, she's not used to dating and the nicest restaurant in Forks is probably an _Applebee's_. If you're taking her somewhere formal, she really will need help. Please," she begged, setting aside the fact that she wasn't at all comfortable with Edward pursuing Holly in the first place. If she steered their argument in that direction, Edward would simply hang up, and she'd be back where she started.

Edward _really_ didn't want to concede, but Alice did have a point. He hadn't thought about any of that before he made dinner reservations at Canlis, one of Seattle's finest restaurants, and obtained two of the firm's box seat tickets to the symphony.

He sighed. "Fine. I'm taking her to an early concert at the symphony and Canlis afterwards. I'll be there to pick her up at 4:30," Edward replied sharply.

"Thank you. You won't be sorry. Goodbye." Alice hung up the phone and sighed deeply. _Well at least he has good taste, _she thought, making her way to Holly's room.

Holly was so aggravated with herself she could scream. She had no idea where Edward was taking her; therefore, she had no idea what to wear. Would nice jeans and a sweater do? Should she wear a dress? If so, what kind of dress? There were so many dresses in her closet now!

A sudden racket in the closet startled Holly. She snatched a nearby garment off the bed and clutched it to her half-naked torso. She took one timid step towards the closet door before it burst open, and Alice stumbled through.

Holly screamed in surprise. "Christ, Alice! You almost gave me a coronary!" she yelled as sweet relief flowed through her. "Seriously, where the hell did you come from?"

Holly followed as Alice strolled back into the closet and shoved the right side of clothing aside to reveal a doorway. "There's a passage between my closet and yours. Eventually, this room will become our nursery-easy access and all that. Pretty cool, huh?"

Holly looked at Alice as she clutched her pounding heart. She was not amused.

Alice tried to hide her smile. "I'm sorry I scared you. I was already in my closet, and it was faster. Forgive-sies?" she asked, with her 'I'm Alice, and everyone loves me' look.

Holly had to laugh as they walked back into the bedroom. "You're so weird. You know that, right?"

"So I've been told," Alice muttered distractedly, looking at the piles of clothing strewn about in Holly's epic what-to-wear-on-the-first-_real_-date battle. "Okay, clearly my help is needed. I know my brother is taking you out tonight, and I'm at your service. That is, if you'll have me."

Holly was so grateful, she could have cried. "Oh, Alice. Thank you. I don't know where we're going. I don't know what to wear. I'm so flustered right now, and he's picking me up in ... two hours!" she exclaimed when she checked the time on the clock on her nightstand. In nothing but a bra and sweatpants, Holly raked her hands through her thick hair, looking dismally at the carnage around her.

"Well, lucky for you, I _do_ know where you are going. I also know the perfect dress for you to wear," Alice said, disappearing into the closet once again.

"I don't care _how_ you know this, but thank God you do," Holly called from the bedroom as Alice searched for the dress she had in mind.

Less than a minute later, she re-emerged, unzipping a heavy Chanel garment bag to reveal a beautiful, deep plum dress. It was very fancy.

"Are you sure, Alice? It's awfully elegant." Holly loved the dress, but wondered if their date would be occasion enough to wear such a piece.

"Yes, my dear. This dress will work nicely where he's taking you. Now go take a shower and get all fresh and clean. I'll do your hair and makeup, but we are on a serious time budget. Go! Shoo!" Alice exclaimed, shoving Holly towards the bathroom.

Fresh out of the shower, Holly sat in front of the large vanity wrapped in a think, pink cotton robe as Alice blew her hair dry. When her hair was dried into a wild mass of waves, Alice worked on her makeup, applying a silky powder to her face, neck, and chest. She told Holly that as much as she blushes, she wouldn't need any rouge. At that, Holly blushed. Finally, she expertly worked on her eyes, using a pallet of golds and browns to highlight her hazel irises. Dabbing a small amount of nude gloss onto Holly's full lips, Alice stood back and sighed, admiring her handy work.

Alice gently gathered Holly's hair at the base of her neck, securing the bundle with a delicate, gold filigree comb on either side. She allowed several errant waves to roam free around Holly's neck and face. "You really are stunning, my dear. Now, let's get you into that dress. He'll be here in ten minutes."

Holly stepped into the fine garment, and Alice was behind her, ready to zip her up. The dress was about mid-thigh in length and form fitting, with three-quarter sleeves. It consisted of thick bands of plum-colored lace. The lining underneath the lace was very sporadically dotted with brilliant Swarovski crystals that shone through when the light hit them just right. Holly looked into the full-length mirror and smiled in disbelief at Alice's work.

"_Molto Bella_," Alice said softly in perfect Italian.

Just as she was helping Holly into the glossy, nude heels, they heard commotion down below. Alice clapped her hands excitedly, while Holly's heart lodged itself in her throat.

"Are you _sure_ I'm not too dressed up?" she asked self-consciously.

"Definitely not. I can't wait to see the look on Edward's face; he's going to have an aneurysm. Okay, kiddo; it's show time," Alice said and held Holly's hand as they left the bedroom.

"Thank you, Alice," Holly whispered, her heart beating against her chest.

Edward waited anxiously in the foyer of his sister's house for Holly, grateful that Josh was nowhere to be found. After checking his watch for the third time, he glanced up at the grand staircase, and suddenly, the world shifted on its axis. An elegant, sexy creature he almost didn't recognize was smiling at him with her trademark pink cheeks. Alice outdid herself, and he was glad he let the little twerp take the reins. Holly was radiant.

"Holly, you look ... I'm at a loss for words. You look exceptionally beautiful," Edward said in a daze. He wasn't used to being confounded and bewildered by a woman. Then again, no other woman had ever filled the role of _girl of his dreams_ like Holly McNamera did.

"Thank you, Edward. It's all Alice's doing," she said rolling her eyes and smiling. Self-deprecation was nearly a spinal reflex for her, and Edward frowned, shaking his head at her lack of self-awareness. Before he could voice his disagreement, she looked him up and down appreciatively and added, "You're not so bad yourself. The word _dashing_ comes to mind."

If she didn't try hard to keep up the façade of cool and collected, the quivering mess she was inside would burst forth and ruin everything. The fact was, Edward was so far beyond dashing-not just tonight in his sleek suit, but always. He was beautiful, suave, elegant, charming, and dashing all rolled into one fine specimen.

"Well, we should be on our way. We have just enough time to catch the first part of our date. Do you have a jacket?" Edward asked, looking around the foyer.

Just as Holly was about to reply, Alice spoke from the balcony above them. "In the closet to you right. Take my ivory cashmere wrap," she instructed and winked when Holly thanked her.

Carefully, Edward helped her with the beautiful wrap and nearly came undone when he came close enough to catch her scent. Some kind of floral-jasmine maybe-mingled with her own natural scent to create something intoxicating-dangerously so. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from getting aroused as his face hovered at her neck.

They waved goodbye to Alice, and, after helping Holly out the door, Edward turned back to his sister and mouthed '_Thank you'_. She gave him a half-smile and shrugged, and he closed the door.

Alice sighed. She suddenly felt bittersweet about the idea of Holly and Edward. Maybe she had been wrong to assume the worst about her brother and his intentions. Maybe Holly would be the one that Edward would finally let inside his heart. Still, if he wanted to remain a fully-functioning member of the male sex, he'd better keep his paws to himself. With that thought, Alice nodded and danced down the hallway to get some work done while she waited for Josh to get home from the office.

"So what do you have in store for us this evening, Mr. Cullen?" Holly asked playfully as they gracefully sped through the streets in Edward's Aston Martin Vanquish. The car fit the man tonight, with Edward in a well-tailored navy suit and black shades to block the late-afternoon sun. The thought crossed Holly's mind that he looked like a very handsome, very young James Bond.

"Well, first, we're going to the symphony, and then we'll get a little dinner afterward, if that sounds good to you," he informed her. He glanced at her and had to fight hard to put his eyes back on the road. A ray of sunlight shone down on her, making her eyes glitter.

"That sounds great. I've never been to the symphony before. Do you know what's playing?" Holly asked with hesitation, biting her lip. Deep down her nerves were going wild. She hoped she would at least recognize the composer and not come off like an uncultured bonehead.

Edward's cheeks pinked, and he laughed nervously. "Well, I didn't really have a lot of time to plan things out, and I wasn't exactly aware of what the performance would be until I looked it up. It looks like we'll be listening to The Seattle Symphony Orchestra's rendition of _Peter and the Wolf_. That's why it's such an early show, but it's the only thing playing tonight. Kind of silly, right?" he asked, more than a little embarrassed.

Holly's face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning. "Oh, thank God! I was worried ... never mind. This makes me so happy, Edward! It was my favorite story as a kid, and it's been so many years since I've heard it. It's absolutely perfect, thank you." She smiled in relief, feeling more at ease than she had since the previous day with all its catastrophe. Holly placed her hand on top of Edward's and he released the gearshift to lock fingers with her.

"You don't know how relieved I am that you're actually happy about this. I was afraid you would laugh at me and demand to be taken home," he confessed with a chuckle thrown in to hide the actual fear he'd felt when he looked at the playbill earlier that day and saw _Peter and the Wolf_ glaring back at him-taunting him.

"Not a chance," she replied, and leaned back into the seat to watch the scenery as it blurred past them.

They pulled up to Benaroya Hall, and Holly marveled at the impressive structure made entirely of glass and steel. She'd only ever seen it on television before. They pulled up to the front doors and were immediately greeted by attendants. The valet was all too excited to slide behind the wheel of the impressive car, and Edward casually slid the acne-faced boy a generous tip to ensure his baby's safety. Edward and Holly linked arms, and the pair made their way inside. As they strolled, Holly took the time to admire every inch of the splendid place as they made their way up to their plush box in the sky.

Edward held a thick velvet curtain aside for her, and they made their way inside the balcony that was on permanent reserve for Cullen/Mcnamera guests. Esme and Carlisle frequented the symphony and were usually the only ones who had any interest in attending on a regular basis. Edward groaned inwardly when he caught a glimpse of Mr. and Mrs. Black, an elderly couple that owned the other half of the balcony.

Mr. Black had struck gold in the logging industry back in the late 1930s at the height of the industry in the Olympic Peninsula. His only grandson, William, decided to stray from his grandfather's and father's footsteps, becoming a lawyer instead. William's son, and Ephriam's great-grandson, Jacob, had continued that path and was a junior associate at Cullen/McNamera. Ephriam and Effie were major benefactors of the symphony and had a good relationship with the Cullens. Mrs. Black was a spry ninety-five years old. She was also a well-known cheek-pincher and tongue-to-Kleenex smudge remover.

Edward shuddered, but plastered on a smile as the elderly couple turned and stood to greet them. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Black, it's so nice to see you again." He feigned delight as he turned to a smiling Holly. "Holly, this is Ephriam and Effie Black-long time, family friends of ours. Ephriam and Effie, this is my friend, Holly McNamera"

Holly extended her hand warmly but was shocked when Mrs. Black bypassed her handshake and wrapped her in a shockingly strong embrace. "Oh! It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Black-Mr. Black," she said, nodding to the older gentleman, who rolled his eyes at his wife's lack of social etiquette.

"It's nice to meet you, too, lovie," Effie said, patting her cheek before she moved on to Edward. By the time she was done hugging, pinching, and grooming him, Edward looked like a scared and violated little boy. "It's so nice to see young Edward here with a beautiful woman like yourself, Holly. I've never seen him here with a lady friend before," she stated then leaned into Holly and said candidly, "I was beginning to wonder about him, you know."

This was too much for Holly. The Blacks were like cartoon characters. She covered her smile and caught Edward running a disgruntled hand down his face.

"Let me introduce you to my great-grandson. Edward, you remember little Jacob, don't you?" Effie said, motioning for the figure that was crouched down, hiding in the seats behind her, to come forward.

"Oh, good. Jacob's here," Edward said through clenched teeth. If there was a bigger player in the city of Seattle than himself, it would be Jacob Black. He realized this evening was beginning to careen uncontrollably downhill.

Reluctantly, Jacob stood up and made his way over to greet the group. He looked young, Holly thought-maybe even younger than herself. He was quite handsome in a sleek, silver suit with a black shirt underneath. The first three buttons of his shirt were undone, and Holly could see smooth skin the color of terra cotta poking out. He had broad shoulders and a muscular build with black hair and eyes to match. A tense, unfriendly look passed between Edward and Jacob that Holly didn't understand but filed away for later questioning.

"Hello, Jacob," Edward said, making absolutely no move to introduce him to Holly. Jacob could take a flying leap over the balcony for all he cared.

"Edward," Jacob nodded, turning his eyes on Holly. A grin slowly spread across his face, revealing a perfect set of gleaming, white teeth. Edward's blood pressure was rising by the second, a snarl building deep in his chest.

"Edward, where are your manners? Aren't you going to introduce Jacob to your friend?" Mrs. Black said, waving her hand in Holly's direction.

Holly looked to Edward and noticed his hard expression. His jaw flexed several times before he finally opened his mouth to speak. "Jacob, this is Holly. Holly, this is Jacob. He's a _junior_ associate at the firm," he quipped, over emphasizing the 'junior'.

Jacob glared at Edward, but stepped forward and took Holly's hand, pulling her out from behind her protector. "Holly, the _pleasure_ is all mine. Any _friend_ of Edward's is certainly a _friend _of mine. And please, call me Jake. So, where did you two _friends_ meet?" he asked, looking her up and down-sizing her up with a wolfish grin.

Edward was ready to pounce, and Holly didn't have a chance to answer before the lights dimmed to signal the start of the concert. Edward quickly excused them and led Holly away. She waved goodbye over her shoulder as Edward pulled her to the other side of the box. He thanked God there was a half-wall between them and the Blacks, and he wouldn't have to put up with anymore of Jacob's explicit ogling.

"Are you okay, Edward? What was all that about?" Holly whispered in the dark, once they were seated.

Edward took her hand and linked her arm possessively through his. "I'm fine. Jake is scum, that's all. I don't like the way he was looking at you; I know exactly what's going through his mind."

"Oh," was all Holly could say. Her eyebrows pinched together in confusion until she remembered the conversation she and Alice had the first night they met. "Oh, yeah. Alice said he's kind of a bad boy. I guess you think so, too, huh?"

Edward's brow furrowed. "Alice told you about Jacob? I'm impressed; I can't believe she was actually smart enough to warn you about him," he said, wondering what else the two of them talked about.

Holly snickered and rolled her eyes when she thought about that particular bit of their conversation. "Actually, she wasn't warning me _away_ from him. She wanted to set me up with him. Apparently, she thinks I need a boyfriend after I told her about my being a ... well, you know ..." she said, hoping he would connect the dots.

Edward's expression became a hard mask once again. He didn't seem to be listening anymore; he wasn't even looking at her. His eyes had drifted away from hers and now stared off into a place and time that only he could see. His jaw was clenched yet again-the muscles rippling under the smooth skin of his cheeks. His hand was squeezing the life out of hers.

"Um, Edward. My hand-you're crushing it," Holly choked. He quickly released his grip on her and she had to massage her fingers to encourage the blood flow to return.

"I'm sorry, Holly. I just can't believe Alice would even _think_ about trying to set you up with Jacob. Doesn't she know his reputation? Jesus, that boy is ruthless when it comes to women. He's a predator," Edward said and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. He had to fold his hands in his lap and concentrate on his breathing to keep from ripping the armrests clean off the plush seat. _And she's worried about _me? he mulled angrily._ Oh, Alice. You are a fucking dead woman when I get ahold of you_.

Holly squeezed Edward's hand. Obviously, this Jake guy was a jerk, and Holly didn't want him to ruin their evening. She snaked her hand back through Edward's arm with an encouraging smile, assuring him without saying a word that he had no competition. Edward looked down at her, and his hard mask immediately dissipated.

As the conductor took his place on stage and began telling the story of _Peter and the Wolf_, Holly couldn't contain her curiosity. "You and Jake don't seem to be close at all-certainly not friends. Why do you let him get to you? Why are you so upset?"

Edward's forehead creased with worry. He couldn't look at her as he thought about his shame. Holly could see an inner battle raging inside of him. She lost count of how many different emotions played across his face before he finally answered her question.

"Because, I used to be just like him."


	10. Chapter 10

Ten

On the drive home from dinner, Edward and Holly relaxed into a comfortable silence. Holly stared out into the blackness from the passenger side, lost in her thoughts, and hummed to the music that surrounded her. Currently playing was one of her favorite songs-"TightenUp" by The Black Keys. In the time she'd spent in Edward's car this evening, she was happy to discover that they had pretty similar tastes in music. Holly closed her eyes contentedly when she felt his warm hand rest on her leg.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking right now," he said, removing his hand from her lovely thigh, tangling his fingers with her own.

_Where to begin_, Holly thought, smiling. "I was thinking about the symphony-how wonderful it felt to hear _Peter and the Wolf_ again after all these years. It reminded me of my mom. I was thinking that I really love this song." She paused and turned to admire his profile. "I was thinking that Jacob Black has nothing on you," she finished quietly.

Edward's smirk turned into a face-splitting grin as he laughed. "I'm glad you think so. Jacob can be very charming when he sees something he wants. I thought I might lose you there for a second," he said and winked at her, brushing his lips against her knuckles.

Despite Edward's obvious discomfort in the beginning, the rest of the evening had been perfect. The symphony was incredible, and Holly's heart nearly burst when the familiar, opening notes of the concert began. After the show, they somehow managed to escape all three of the Blacks and made their way to dinner.

Everything they did that night was new to Holly, and Canlis, the restaurant Edward had chosen, was no exception. It was the nicest restaurant she'd ever been to in her life. Edward seemed to know people everywhere he went, and he and Holly ended up sharing a drink at the bar with a few of his acquaintances while they waited for their table.

Edward explained to Holly that the couple-George and Laurent-were, again, friends of the family and very generous patrons of The Cullen Foundation. The pretty brunette with them, Jessica, used to be a paralegal at Cullen/McNamera. Last year, she'd moved across the country to attend law school and was in the middle of a short semester break to visit with family.

Edward avoided Jessica's eyes at all cost. If anyone was familiar with the snake-like charms of Jacob or the seedy underbelly of Edward's social life, it would be Jessica Stanley. Edward had never dated Jessica, but at the time, he would've gladly pursued her for a fun weekend fling if Jacob hadn't gotten to her first. Edward prayed their table would be ready soon; he couldn't take her judgmental smirk. It was like Jessica was mentally acknowledging that nothing had changed in the six months since she'd been away. She wrongly assumed that Holly was just another notch in his headboard.

_Was I really _that_ bad?_ Edward thought, before quickly concluding that, yes, he really was _that_ bad.

Everyone was very pleased to meet Holly, and her dress sparked something of a frenzy between Jessica and George. Despite the odd, yet eager looks she was getting from Jessica, Holly made an attempt to keep up with the conversation as George babbled on about fashion-specifically the upcoming fall Chanel line.

They were finally escorted to their table by Mr. Canlis himself, who appeared to know Edward quite well. He offered them a very private table for two that overlooked the twinkling lights of Lake Union. Holly was overwhelmed by the menu. Everything sounded delicious and exotic, and she'd never seen a menu without any prices listed. She was searching for something that didn't sound like it would cost an exorbitant amount of money when Edward took the menu away from her. He suggested they experience the chef's tasting-menu. That way they wouldn't have to worry about what to order-only enjoy what's brought to them. Holly was happy to have the decision made for her and gladly agreed. She'd always been an adventurous eater and would try anything once.

Dinner was an affair in itself, lasting more than three hours. The food was flawless, and each spectacular dish was served with a different pairing of wine. Holly was no connoisseur and ended up abandoning several glasses for being way too red, dry, and room temperature. After a shared dessert of Tahitian vanilla bean cheesecake, Edward pulled a reluctant Holly onto the sparse dance floor where they lost themselves in a world of their own. He held her flush against his body as they swayed to the soft music of the piano. Holly didn't want the night to end.

She wasn't ready to go back to reality when they pulled up to her brother's house, where they would have to say goodnight. Edward hopped out of the car and walked quickly around the front of the vehicle to open her door. She took his hand and climbed out, resisting when he started to lead her towards the door.

Amused, Edward leaned against the car as Holly closed in on him. "Edward, tonight was ... special. Really special. Thank you for taking me to the Symphony and for that incredible meal. It's been quite an evening, and I don't think I'll ever forget it," she said, smoothing the lapels of his suit jacket.

Edward wrapped his arms around her and spoke softly, "Thank you-for giving me another chance and for not allowing Jacob Black to _woo_ you." He leaned in close to Holly with a sexy smirk on his face.

Feeling high from his very close proximity, Holly breathed in his divine scent and her heart began to beat a little faster. She tilted her head back and studied his incredible lips. "Jacob Black can go _woo_ himself for all I care," she whispered and wrapped her arms around his neck when his smiling lips landed softly on hers. Holly grabbed a handful of his beautifully tousled hair and opened her mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

She leaned her body into his, pressing him against the Vanquish. For one very brief moment, Edward allowed himself to revel in the feeling of her body pressing against his in all the right spots. While one of his hands stroked the bare, smooth skin between her shoulder blades, the other settled on the small of her back just above the lovely swell of her backside, holding her tightly against him.

An annoyed groan filled his throat when he glanced up at the house and saw that Alice was poised at her bedroom window, watching her new favorite program-The Edward and Holly Show. She must have heard the Vanquish pull up. He reluctantly broke their kiss and took a deep breath to gather himself. "I better let you get inside before Alice comes out here and gets you herself," he said, nodding to the house behind her to indicate they were being watched.

"Okay," Holly agreed reluctantly. She _really_ didn't want this night to end. She wanted to know what it felt like to have Edward's fantastic mouth explore every inch of her body. "Thank you, again. For everything," she whispered and pushed herself away from him, starting slowly towards the house.

Almost to the door, she glanced back and laughed when she saw that Edward was still standing in the same spot, hands in his pockets, watching her with a large grin that made him look every bit the vibrant, young man that he was. "Go on!" she called over her shoulder, and her heart soared at his laughter. There was something magical about that sound.

She unlocked the door and entered the house. Thankfully, she made it up the stairs and into her bedroom before Alice could pop out from some unseen nook or cranny and bombard her with questions or scare the bejesus out of her again.

_What a perfect night,_ Holly thought as she kicked off her heels and flopped down onto the bed, hugging herself tightly.

Edward was about to back out of the long driveway when he glanced over and noticed that Holly had left Alice's wrap in the back seat. She'd tossed it back there after the Symphony. The air had been warmer than usual-almost balmy-and she'd decided she didn't need the cover-up early on in the evening.

Putting the Vanquish into neutral and killing the engine, he grabbed the wrap and jogged up the front steps. His hand was inches from the doorknob when it suddenly opened. Edward looked up and was face-to-face with Josh.

"Come in, Edward," Josh said and opened the door wide, motioning for Edward to enter.

Edward cleared his throat uncomfortably and followed him through the foyer and into the living room where Alice was also waiting with a smile on her face and concern in her eyes. _Great, there goes my perfect night,_ he thought.

Edward looked at Alice and held up the wrap. "Holly left this in my car. I just came back to return it to you," he said and draped it over the back of the couch.

"Have a seat. I think we should talk," Josh said, sitting down on a leather chair in front of the fireplace. Alice moved to stand behind him, resting her hands on Josh's shoulder.

Edward tentatively walked across the room and sat down in the chair across from Josh. He already knew where this was going. Loosening his tie, he raked a hand through his hair. "Look, Josh, I know what you must think of me and Holly-" he started but Josh held up a hand and cut him off.

"It's not what I think, Edward. It's what I know. First of all, I know that Holly is an adult and is free to make her own decisions. But, after talking to Alice, I now know that she has practically no dating experience. Second of all, I know _you_. I've known you for almost six years now, and I'm all too aware of _your _history. Hell, I was your designated wingman for the first two years I knew you. In six years, you haven't changed one bit. How can I believe that this time will be any different? I don't want to fight with you about this, but I just can't stand the thought of Holly falling in love with you because she doesn't know any better. She'll get hurt, Edward. You have to see that."

Edward shook his head. How many times was he going to have this conversation with various members of his family before they would just leave him alone about it? "I'm not using her, Josh. I wouldn't do that to her _or_ you. And I haven't kept my past a secret from her. I've already told her-" He was cut off by Alice.

"What, Edward? What have you told her-that you _live_ to objectify women? That you use them for your own satisfaction only to dump them a few weeks later when you've grown bored? It's easy to see how much Holly likes you, but I'm terrified of what you'll do. For so long, you've traipsed yourself around town, using your dick as a compass needle without caring who or what your behavior affects. You have to stop and think about all the lives you've ruined because of your recklessness. Holly's had such a hard life, and I'm begging you to think about that before you go any further with her-before something bad happens," Alice pleaded with a sigh. She didn't want to attack Edward; she merely wanted him to recognize their concern over his interest in a girl that didn't know any better.

"Look, you're my brother, and I love you _so_ much. More than anything, I want to see you happy. But it's hard to reconcile your good intentions toward Holly with your complete lack of compassion up until this point."

"All the _lives_ I've ruined? Don't you think that's a little dramatic, Alice. The only life I've ruined, if any at all, is my own. And the last time I checked, we live in a country where I can do whatever I goddam please my own life," Edward said pointedly. He could feel his blood coursing through the veins in his neck.

Alice threw her hands up. "Come on, Edward. Do I really need to produce a list of everyone you've totally screwed over through the years? You've hurt a lot of people-people, like Kate Nash, for instance," she said. Despite Edward cursing and running an exhausted hand over his face, she continued, "Not only did you spend the entire summer together in Europe promising that poor girl the world, you left her _stranded_ in Paris after she poured her heart out to you and told you she loved you. By doing so, you not only crushed a girl who'd fallen in love for the first time, you single handedly destroyed a fifteen-year-long friendship. Mr. Nash, Kate's father, was a mentor to Dad. He was crushed when he lost that lifeline because of you.

"And then there's Stella-who Mom adored, by the way. You very coldly dismissed her soon after she introduced you to her sister. To this day, the two of them don't speak. Then, after leaving Eve to pick up the pieces of her broken family, you stumbled onto-or _into_-Juliana. She was engaged, Edward. She snuck around on her fiancé so she could accompany you to Belize. She _left_ him because she actually though you were going to be the man of her dreams. Instead, you ended up being her worst nightmare. You left her with no one. You didn't care at all-about any of them.

"So many girls, Edward-hundreds of one-night-stands that ended up as nothing more than a page-six headline and a whole lot of humiliation for everyone around you-especially Mom and Dad. Poor Mom has lost so many friends in her never-ending plight to defend you. And how many times has Dad had to put his neck on the line for you throughout the years? How many times has he had to pull strings to keep you from ruining our name and reputation?" Alice paused to compose herself. As Edward sat speechless in his chair, Alice hoped that just once he would see how his behavior had affected all of them.

She was tired of welcoming each new girl with open arms, only to be embarrassed and ashamed of Edward when he would ultimately humiliate them. Alice truly believed that Holly could be perfect for Edward, and she knew that, deep down, her brother was greater than the sum of his past transgressions. She wanted Edward to open his eyes and take a look at what was in front of him, but at the same time, she was afraid of Holly becoming just another name carved into Edward's wall-of-shame.

Josh squeezed Alice's hand to reminding her to keep calm. She took a deep breath and looked at Edward, hoping he could see the sincerity in her eyes. Letting her concern turn into a tirade would do nothing but push Edward away, and that was not the goal.

"Edward, please understand that we're only worried about what will happen if history ends up repeating itself. As a family, we've always given you your space and hoped you'd eventually learn your lesson on your own. Given the circumstances, you can't blame us for taking it personally this time. None of those women deserved the humiliation they went through, and we can't just look the other way when it's Holly that you could potentially be hurting," Alice finished, her voice full of concern.

Edward stared blankly at the ground between his feet. He was reeling from Alice's account of the numerous hearts he'd been careless with. Honestly, he'd never really sat down and thought about it. Worst of all, Edward didn't know at what point it was that it became so easy for him to tune out the wreckage he'd caused. He'd remained silent as the ugly details were listed out for him. He knew Alice and Josh were acting out of love, but he felt like a broken record trying to defend his intentions. He'd already told them several times that he wasn't going to let Holly get hurt in any way.

If actions were supposed to speak louder than words, then why couldn't they see for themselves that he was different with Holly? It'd been weeks since he'd gone to a club or made any headlines in the paper. And obviously, he wasn't using Holly for sex as they could easily see for themselves that she was tucked safely into her own bed every night, not his. His sister confused him. Was this the same Alice that literally _begged_ him to let her help Holly get ready for their date?

Edward pressed his fists against his forehead before he let them fall into his lap. "Fuck, Alice. How many times do I have to tell you that I would never do anything to hurt Holly before it actually sinks in?" Edward glared at Alice, but winced when he glance at Josh. His brother-in-law's expression was solemn, but Edward saw nothing but pity in his eyes. "In fact, I'd seriously maim anyone who ever tried," he added quietly.

Edward cleared his throat and tried very hard to control his tone. "I didn't give Holly all the humiliating specifics, but she knows enough. I told her that I've spent a lot of time with a lot of different girls. But I also told her that none of them could ever hold a candle to her-because they can't. I told her that she deserves the best-better than me-because it's true. Josh, I don't want to fight with you either, and I know I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I don't know what else to tell you. I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to believe me when I say that I'm not out to destroy her. I won't stay away from her just because you want me to. You don't understand; it would be like asking you to stay away from Alice, or Carlisle-Esme. I just ... can't," Edward said, absolutely hating that he was having this conversation at all, let alone with Josh and Alice.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to ignite the lawyer inside him and turn the situation around-get the heat off himself and his sudden outpouring of self-realization regarding the way he felt about Holly. Raising his eyes to his sister, he knew just how to do it. "By the way, I have a rather large bone to pick with you," he said, narrowing his eyes.

Alice put her hands on her hips. "Oh? And what bone would that be?"

Ignoring her, Edward turned to Josh, who'd remained silent once Alice had started in on him. "Would you like to know who it is that your pinhead wife wants to set Holly up with instead? You'll get a kick out of this one," he said dryly; his expression remained deadpan.

Josh glanced up at Alice as she glared at her brother in confusion. Edward had been shamed by his sister moments before because she had been right about everything, no matter how much the truth hurt. However, in this case, he met her glare with no fear. Alice may be too blind to realize Jacob was a shameless player, but he knew for a fact that Josh was well aware of his handiwork.

"Jake," he finally stated.

"Jake?" Josh's forehead creased in confusion. "Who's-wait-from the firm? Jacob _Black_? Alice, are you insane? Please tell me he's joking." He was on his feet in an instant, followed by Edward.

Alice looked back and forth between them like they were crazy. "Yes, Jacob Black. What? He's around Holly's age and he's from a really nice family. I planned on introducing them at the Open Heart Ball this weekend," she said squaring her shoulders defiantly.

"Over my dead body! Baby, how could you even think that would be a good idea? He's a total womanizer-everyone knows that. Jesus, I thought the idea of Holly and Edward was bad-but Jake? No. Not happening," Josh said with finality.

Edward jumped in as the focus was momentarily taken off of himself. "You know, for someone who spends most of her life with one ear stuck in everyone else's affairs, it's hard to believe you can be so obtuse, Alice."

"You guys are ridiculous! How did you even know about the whole Jacob and Holly thing?" Alice asked Edward, annoyed that the tables had turned and they were now ganging up on her. She glared at Josh for letting Edward distract him. And dammit, Jacob may have been a bit of a flirt-okay, a big flirt-but he was a nice young man. He was very ... very sexy. If she was single and five years younger ... Alice shook images of Jacob from her mind and gathered her scornful composure.

"We ran into him tonight at the symphony. The Blacks thought it would be nice to bring their youngest great-grandson to see _Peter and the Wolf_." He turned to Josh again, shaking his head, seething with anger and disgust. "You should have seen him, Josh-mentally having his way with Holly. He was practically salivating on her. I was ready to rip his goddamn head off," he fumed, his muscles tensing fiercely.

Josh looked pointedly at Alice. "Out of the question," he declared and turned to Edward. "Edward, don't change the subject. You can't possibly compare your feelings for Holly with Carlisle's regard for Esme, or mine for Alice, unless you love her. Do you _love_ Holly?" he asked point blank.

Edward was knocked clean off his guard with Josh's brusque question. He didn't know how to answer him. Only days ago he'd had the realization that he wanted Holly to love _him_-to need him-but was it possible that he was capable of loving her? And later, after knowing she'd been in danger, he'd felt unexpectedly and overwhelmingly protective of her.

There was so much that he still didn't know about her, and Edward thoroughly loved the idea of getting to know everything about her. At this point, he would do just about anything to make her happy and keep her safe. But, did he love her? Well, he knew he would never hurt her like he had the other women; that was for certain. And he'd be damned if anyone else was going to hurt her either. Still ... love? It was such a loaded word.

"Well?" Josh prodded impatiently.

Edward swallowed, but his throat was drier than the Sahara. His sense of fight or flight took over and, in a panic, he took the easy way out-emotionally, he fled. He closed his eyes, digging extra deep to find his guard. He was Edward Cullen-of course he wasn't in love; he didn't know _how_ to love. Still, he felt like the lowest form of life when he finally opened his eyes and answered Josh. "No," Edward choked out. The word left a painful, acidic trail as it tumbled out. His jaw was clenched tight, and his stomach was in knots.

Resigned, Josh sighed and nodded his head. He'd thought as much. "Then let her go, Edward. She's my sister, and I love her. If you know she deserves better then give her the chance to find it," he pleaded, imploring him to do the right thing.

Edward felt like he was going to vomit. His chest clenched painfully, and his hands were starting to feel numb. Looking first at Josh, then Alice, he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Quickly, he turned on his heel and fled. He had to get out of the house and remove himself from the interrogation before he had a full-blown panic attack.

Alice jumped when she heard the door slam. Less than thirty seconds later, they heard Edward's tires squealing out of the driveway.

"That was ... sad," Alice said. She'd recognized Edward's panic when Josh mentioned the _L _word. Now, her heart was full of pity for her poor, stupid brother and his inability to realize what he was feeling. She sighed. "Come on, babe. Let's go to bed," she said quietly, grabbing Josh's hand, leading him out of the living room and up the stairs.

"Sad? Alice, you've wanted to keep him away from Holly since you first realized he was after her. So have I. You heard him-he doesn't love her. Whatever it is that Holly thinks they have together is going nowhere," Josh said unbuttoning his shirt and kicking off his shoes as they entered their bedroom.

Alice snorted, pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it into the hamper. "If that's what you believe, then you're just as blind as he is. Believe me-he loves her. He just doesn't recognize it. Edward doesn't know what being in love feels like, and you just scared the shit out of him by making him examine that possibility. Trust me; every guy gets that _deer-in-headlights_ look when they find the girl that makes them realize there's a whole world beyond just getting laid." Alice laughed. "You know, I was scared to believe it myself, but Holly has done quite a number on him. He doesn't know _what_ to do with himself. Did you _see_ his face down there? He was panicked-speechless. Edward A. Cullen was speechless; it's a miracle. He really is in love with her," Alice marveled.

Josh shrugged off his clothes and walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth with Alice trailing behind him. "Yeah, well, if that's the case, he'd better realize it fast. If you're wrong, and he _doesn't_ love her, he'll eventually break her heart. If he does that then I'll have to break him."

"Calm down, Mr. Overbearing; he'll realize it soon enough. I, for one, can't wait for it to hit him in his fat head like a ton of bricks," Alice said and thoughtfully dotted her toothbrush with blue, minty paste. "Edward in love-I never thought I'd see the day."

Edward was way too wound-up to sleep. After his embarrassingly hasty retreat from his sister's house, he'd managed to make it home in one piece. He'd been pacing the length of his downtown, penthouse apartment ever since. Different emotions kept cycling through him: anger, regret, longing, confusion-mostly confusion. Why did Josh put him on the spot like that?

Still shocked that Alice had called him out so thoroughly, Edward was disgusted with himself, knowing he'd hurt so many people-even his own family. He winced when he thought of ruining one of Carlisle's closest relationships and the hopeful expression on Esme's face whenever he'd carelessly brought a girl around the family, knowing it would never amount to anything.

Still, he wished that everyone would just leave him the hell alone and let him and Holly be. Why couldn't they just mind their own business for once, and let the two of them figure things out for themselves? Edward raked his hands through his hair as his conscience answered the question for him.

_Because, idiot, Hugh Hefner has a better track record than you. Holly deserves better than your sorry ass. She should be loved and cherished by someone as good-hearted as she is._

Maybe Josh was right. Maybe he should end what they had-whatever it was-before he inevitably screwed up and broke her heart. "Fuck!" he shouted at his reflection; his breath fogging up the glass of the floor-to-ceiling window-one of many that made up the outer wall of his apartment.

As he tried in vain to think of ways to let her go, visions of Holly flashed across his mind, reminding him of why he would never be able to walk away. He thought of those beautiful eyes that seemed to disarm him with no effort at all, and the way she looked at him with complete trust and adoration. The thought of turning away from her was suddenly unbearable. He saw the easily-coaxed, child-like smile that always made him feel warm and gooey inside. He lived to see her face light up in excitement whenever he showed her something new-there had been a lot of that recently. Hell, the feeling of his own excitement every time he heard her laugh, kissed her lips, or held her close was something he was finding harder and harder to live without.

Edward felt so refreshingly different around Holly. He loved that she openly said what was on her mind or in her heart. She was shy, yet honest to a fault-a true testament of her innocence. His status meant nothing to her, probably because she knew so little of it, and she held no preconceived expectations of him. To her, he was simply Edward, and being with Holly was as easy and natural as breathing.

No. He couldn't let her go, and he knew it. Their connection wasn't ... normal. He'd never felt anything like it. And he wanted her-_God_, how he wanted her. But not until he figured himself out. He was sickened by the thought of leaving her alone and falling back into his old life of empty of meaningless relationships with women who used him for status just as much as he used them for a release. He was sickened much more by the thought of Holly giving herself to anyone other than him, or falling into the arms of someone who thought of her as nothing more than a conquest-someone like Jake.

Edward pressed his face against the window and pounded his head against the glass. He had been unprepared to answer Josh's question, but why should he have to answer to him-or anyone else for that matter? The only thing Edward could resolve to do was stick with the status quo and keep going at the pace he and Holly had been on. He was cautiously enjoying the new direction in which his heart was leading him, and there was no need to rush into anything.

He needed a different perspective on the situation. Edward wanted to believe he could be the man that Holly deserved more than anything else, but he'd spent his entire adult life being the exact opposite. For now, Edward would just have to try and prove to Holly, himself, and everyone else that he could be a better, stronger person than he had been in the past. He needed to talk to someone he could trust-someone who would give him the benefit of the doubt without making him feel like an asshole. He needed Carlisle.

Edward sighed as he pushed himself away from the glittering Seattle skyline, and headed for his bedroom. Tomorrow he would seek his dad out for advice, but right now, he desperately needed sleep. He longed to shut his mind off and escape all of these torturous thoughts.

Edward woke up early the next morning with a dull headache and felt like he'd spent most the night staring at the ceiling. He could hear Sue, his housekeeper, in the kitchen below and decided now was as good a time as any to get himself up and head over to his mom and dad's house. First, he was in need of a shower and one giant cup of coffee.

He made his way into the lavish master bathroom, stripping off his black boxer-briefs as he went. Cranking on the multi-headed shower full blast, he brushed his teeth while he waited for the water to heat up. Looking at himself in the mirror, he realized that something was different. Gone was the overly confident mask of superiority he'd donned for the last ten or so years. What stared back at him was a vulnerable, wide-eyed version of who he used to be. His presumptuous, self-indulgent alter ego had been body checked and was lying dead in a gutter somewhere.

He wasn't Edward the Conqueror; he was Edward the Life Ruiner-Edward the Home Wrecker. Now that his hard exterior was officially gone, anxiety stirred in his stomach as he realized he had nothing left to hide behind. The person that Edward saw in the mirror was stripped down to the very core to who he really was: an empty, vulnerable shell-a man with no identity. Edward had spent so much time and effort building a fortress around himself that he'd completely abandoned the person he was inside. Now that his walls had been utterly obliterated by Josh, Alice and, of course, Holly, Edward would have to face the world without a shield-a thought that scared the hell out of him. He needed to get to Carlisle immediately.

After showering and dressing in worn jeans and his old Harvard rugby shirt, he had Sue pour him a cup of coffee for the road and headed out the door. It was pouring down rain, but he didn't care enough to turn back and grab a jacket. Edward by passed the Vanquish and jumped into his silver Volvo. He gunned the engine and took off. It was just after 6:00-too early for morning traffic-and he was at his parent's house within fifteen minutes. He took a couple deep breaths before exiting the vehicle and making his way up to the house.

Knocking on the door, he waited patiently in the rain for someone to answer. He hoped that he wasn't waking them or, God forbid, interrupting them. The door opened, and Anita, his former nanny, greeted him with a smile.

"Edward! How've you been, sugar? Boy, you look like a drowned cat. Get in here before you catch your death," she said, pulling him into the house.

"Hey, 'Nita. Is my dad around?" he asked, not bothering to fix his rain-soaked hair or dry himself off.

"Of course he is. You go in the kitchen and get yourself a nice, warm cinnamon bun and some coffee, and I'll go fetch your daddy." Anita headed off in the direction of Carlisle's office as Edward walked into the kitchen.

The inviting smell of Anita's cinnamon buns reminded him of his childhood. It reminded him that there was a time when Edward was just ... Edward. He wondered if it wasn't too late to find that person again. Gladly, he put one of the oversized buns onto a plate and poured himself a cup of steaming hot coffee. Taking a large bite, he smiled and closed his eyes, savoring the flavor, as well as the memories.

"Edward, what a surprise. Is everything all right?" Carlisle made his way into the kitchen and joined his son at the breakfast table with a tall glass of tomato juice.

Edward could see the top of a Pepto bottle poking out of his father's robe pocket and smiled to himself. _I guess some things never change_, he thought. "Hey, Dad. Everything's fine-I think. I actually came by to talk to you. Is now a good time?"

Carlisle smiled. "It's a perfect time. Your mother just left to meet Alice at the office to finish some last minute details for the ball, so it's just you and me. What's on your mind, son?"

Edward swallowed hard. "I wanted to talk to you ... about Holly. I need some advice, or clarification, or . . . _something_-I don't know what I need. I just know you can help," he said massaging his aching forehead.

"Alright ..." Carlisle began slowly. "So, this is about Holly. Is this about your _feelings_ for Holly?"

Edward nodded miserably, keeping his eyes on the table.

"You're not sure what to do with those feelings, are you?" Carlisle gently coaxed. After dinner on Sunday, Esme had spent the rest of the evening talking Carlisle's ear off about the 'changes' she'd noticed in her son and how she was sure it had something to do with Holly.

Edward remained silent as he shook his head-eyes still trained on the stark white, lace tablecloth Esme brought back from Brussels when Edward was just a boy.

Carlisle took a sip of juice and pondered the situation. "Edward, I'm a little shocked. You've never come to me for relationship advice before. It seems Holly has you questioning your whole outlook on women, am I correct?" he asked, assessing for his son what was quite obvious to him.

Edward scoffed, "You could say that. But that's not really what's eating me. I love spending time with Holly. She makes me happy-in a way I've never felt before. I've never let myself get close to anyone, but with Holly, it just happened. I want to do things for her. I want to give her everything-make her as happy as she makes me.

"Last night, Alice let me have it. She's scared that I'm going to hurt Holly and tear the family a part. I know that I've done some awful things in the past-things that I can never make right again-but I swear I would never ever do anything to hurt Holly. I really care about her, but Josh pretty much told me to leave her alone if I'm not in love with her. How will I know if I love her, Dad? I mean, I guess it's possible that I am, but I've only known her for two weeks. Josh has no right to make me stay away from her just because he doesn't think my feelings are strong or genuine enough. He has no idea _what_ I'm feeling," he finished, his frustration building.

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully and sipped his juice. "Well, Edward, what you are feeling is something you'll have to come to terms with in your own time. Maybe it's time for you to do a little soul searching. Feelings that strong are difficult to define, but I can try to explain it as best I can. When you're in love with someone, you realize that everything you tried to be before that person came into your life was meaningless and hollow. When you find her, you can't imagine a future, or even a day, without her in it. You would do anything to protect her and willingly be everything that she needs. Suddenly, your own needs won't matter quite so much. You stop living for yourself and start living to make her feel like the most important person in the world-because, to you, she is. It's as simple, and as complicated, as that.

"Josh is wading through a pool of guilt right now. He's overwhelmed by his belated desire to protect her. Obviously, he's scared you'll end up treating her the way he's seen you treat other women. That's all it is. I know how close you and Josh are, but you can't let him scare you away from Holly; especially if anything I just said describes the way you feel about her. No one can understand your feelings but you. But, when and _if_ you do realize that you're in love, the biggest mistake you can make is not communicating those feelings to her before it's too late. Trust me on that one," Carlisle finished, standing up and taking his glass to the sink.

Edward turned in his seat and stared at his father's back. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Carlisle paused thoughtfully and turned around, leaning against the counter. "Edward, I know more about what you're going through than you might think. In fact, I was a lot like you before I met your mother. As a young resident fresh out of medical school, I thought I was a pretty big deal. I lived with a devil_-_may_-_care attitude and spent nearly every night with a different girl. The road I was traveling was going nowhere, and I knew it, but I didn't care. I was young and had money for the first time in my life. Women were throwing themselves at me left and right. Who could want more than that, right?

"I'll never forget the night I met your mother. I was working the graveyard shift in the OR when the paramedics wheeled her in. She'd been struck by a drunk driver as she was crossing the street. There was so much blood, and we rushed her into surgery. It took hours to repair all her internal injuries. After the surgery, I went on with my night, caring for the other patients.

"When my shift was over the next morning, I found out where they'd taken her and went up to the ICU to see her before I left. Aside from a few cuts on her face, her head had suffered very little trauma, and I remember looking down at the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I stayed with her all day long, until it was time for me to go back to work that night. I couldn't stay away from her, and I had no idea why. I spent most of my time off in that room with her, and I soon realized that I was her only visitor. The only flowers in the room were the ones that I'd brought in myself. Here was this beautiful, broken girl trying to recover from near death, and she had no one in her life that cared.

"She finally woke up a week later, and they moved her out of the ICU. I'm pretty sure the first thing I said to her when she opened her eyes was 'I love you'. I didn't know this woman from Eve, but I was there every morning like clockwork," Carlisle said with a chuckle. "Every second I was away from her, I lived for the next chance to be with her again-to hear the sound of her voice or her laugh. For reasons that I could never explain, and still can't, my life changed when I laid eyes on her. Suddenly, my rowdy lifestyle seemed meaningless. It was in the past where it belonged, and I never looked back," Carlisle finished with a shrug.

Edward was shocked. He knew that his parents had met at the hospital all those years ago, but he never knew the whole story. He certainly never knew that Carlisle, the loving father, husband, and grandfather-the model of all things good and right-used to be Carlisle the Conqueror. Edward was brought out of his thoughts when his father clapped him on the back.

"Don't worry so much about it, son. You'll do the right thing. Just let your heart lead you for once, and you'll be fine. If you find that it leads you to Holly then tell her," he said as if it were easy as pie. "So, are you sticking around? We could go to the club and hit a few rounds-unless you have something, or someone, more important to tend to," Carlisle said, smiling to himself as he stood to look out the tall window.

Edward stood, as well, and took his empty plate and mug to the sink. All he could think about was seeing Holly. Maybe this would all make sense when he was in her presence. "I should go. I've got a lot to figure out. Thanks for talking to me, Dad. We'll hit the green soon-promise," he said with a wave and headed towards the door.

Carlisle nodded knowingly. "I'm here if you need me, Edward."

Edward felt much better after speaking to his father. He walked to his car, enjoying the feel of the rain on his face. He hadn't figured it all out yet but felt he was getting closer. He was starting to believe he wasn't as hopeless as Alice made him feel.

Jumping into his car, he sped off in the direction of Josh's house with a renewed sense of self. First, he would stop by the florist, and then he would go in search of the girl who now owned his heart. Step One: securing Holly as his date for the Open Heart ball before Alice secured one for her.


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

Holly closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath through her nose, and releasing it through her slightly parted lips. It was late when Edward had dropped her off, and after saying goodnight to Josh and Alice, Holly raced up to her room to try and sort her thoughts out. She thought of what an odd, emotionally draining evening it had been. Her mind was reeling, replaying every minute of the last several hours she'd just spent at Edward's apartment.

Discarding her sweater and jeans, Holly threw on an oversized shirt to sleep in. Brushing her teeth and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, she got herself ready for bed. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep at all, but she had to try. The next day was Friday-the day of the Open Heart Ball-and Alice would be waking her up bright and early to begin the grueling preparations. Holly pulled back the thick duvet and crawled under the covers, pulling them up over her shoulder as she lay on her side.

It had only been about a week and a half since her and Edward's first evening spent together on the boardwalk, but to Holly, it felt like a lifetime. Since that day, they'd spent nearly every waking moment together, and Holly tried to lull herself to sleep with memories of the past week.

Tuesday morning, the morning after their date to the symphony, Edward had surprised Holly with a bundle of yellow flowers and asked if he could escort her to the ball. She'd happily accepted and the pair stuck around Josh and Alice's house for the rest of the day, despite Edward's reluctance. After speaking to Carlisle earlier that same morning, Edward knew that Alice would be away all day, wrapped up in the last-minute details of the ball with Esme. He was wary, however, of being in the same house as Josh after what had happened when he dropped Holly off the night before.

Holly knew nothing of what had taken place the previous night, and Edward preferred to keep it that way. The ugly confrontation had him contemplating so many different things at once that Edward felt as if his brain were in knots. He was extremely relieved when Holly told him that Josh had gone back to work for the day. Knowing Josh like he did, Edward was certain that the sun would go down long before his return.

It had been another gloriously sunny day and Holly wanted to take advantage of the heat wave that Seattle was under. She'd begged Edward to take a swim with her in the heated pool before the threateningly dark clouds on the horizon brought the rain back. He finally conceded and thanked his lucky stars the water provided something of a cover-up; he certainly needed it after seeing Holly in a black bikini.

Despite Edward's attempts to keep a modest distance from her in order to hide his embarrassingly pronounced excitement, she eventually snuck up behind him and pounced. Holly wrapped her legs around his waist, her foot accidently brushing against his hardness, and covered his thick neck and well-muscled shoulders with wet kisses. All too easily, Edward gave in to her, and they made out like two teenagers in the corner of the pool.

Overwhelmed by the sensation of her bare skin sliding against his, Edward growled against her mouth in defeat and kicked himself away from the wall. He quickly swam back to the shallow end of the pool, needing to escape Holly before he exploded in a premature and shameful display of ecstasy. Feigning hunger and muttering something about the coming rain, Edward hopped out of the pool and staggered uncomfortably into the house.

Holly smiled knowingly to herself and wrapped her body in a towel, trailing lazily behind him. Before he'd finally torn himself away from Holly, Edward's excitement had been pressed firmly against her stomach, and she was feeling a bit like the cat that ate the canary. After drying herself off and changing into a warm pair of sweats, Holly began to wonder if Edward was feeling all right; he'd been in the bathroom for quite a while. Eventually, he emerged, looking refreshed and in control of himself once again.

In typical Seattle fashion, the skies darkened and the rain began to pour in heavy sheets. Edward ordered Indian food for lunch and they relaxed in the living room with a spread of exotic dishes. Indian food wasn't exactly big in Forks, and Holly watched in fascination as Edward explained what each dish was and how to eat it. After getting their fill, the two of them curled up on the couch to watch a marathon of old Joan Crawford movies.

Wednesday, Edward surprised Holly when they took the ferry to Bainbridge Island. It was the first time of many more to come until Aro was found again that they would have the addition of Mike, their Carlisle-mandated chaperone. Edward was worried that their burley third-wheel would put a damper on the day he had planned for Holly. Thankfully, Mike proved to be a true professional. After the initial awkwardness on the ferry ride over, Mike made himself scarce, remaining so well hidden that both Holly and Edward eventually forgot about him completely.

They rented bikes and spent the day pedaling through the streets, visiting various shops and art galleries. Holly snickered every time she thought of Edward's shoelace getting tangled up in the chain of his bike. He'd lost control and collided with a tree before falling to the ground. She immediately jumped off her bike and ran to his aid but couldn't contain her laughter. She was doubled over and unable to breathe by the time she reached him. After freeing himself from his entangled shoe, Edward pulled her down onto the grass with him and punished her for all the amusement at his expense-death by tickling.

Thursday, Holly's gown arrived back from alterations and Alice was right there to help her try it on. It fit like a glove, and they both sighed in relief as there was no time left for further adjustments. Holly was once again baffled at the sudden appearance of her ever-elusive cleavage the dress provided.

Later that evening, Edward picked her up in his Volvo, promising Alice and Josh that they were just going to catch a show downtown and grab a burger afterwards. Josh merely grumbled something about being careful and turned back to his newspaper, while Alice wished them a fun evening, giving Edward the same knowing smile she'd been pestering him with all week.

That smile made Edward uncomfortable. He couldn't read Alice whenever she wore that smirk as he never knew what was behind it. It meant only one thing: Alice knew something that he didn't, and he hated that feeling more than anything. His sister had always been a little flighty, but Edward feared for the entire family and the rollercoaster ride of mood swings they would all be on now that Alice was pregnant. After her first doctor's appointment on Wednesday, they'd learned that she was already twelve weeks along. Edward knew the next six months were going to be long-very long.

They walked hand-in-hand to his car, and Edward held the passenger door open as Holly climbed in. She could tell by his Cheshire grin that burgers and a movie were not in their plans for the evening, and she was right. With their shadow, Mike, following close behind, Edward took her back to his apartment-his palace in the sky-for the first time. They were soon pulling into the underground parking garage of the incredibly impressive Millennium Towers downtown.

After parking his car, Edward jumped out and he and Mike exchanged pleasantries and a handshake. Mike instructed Edward to give him a call when they were ready to leave again, and he watched from his car until the pair was safely in the elevator. They spent the long elevator ride from the parking garage up to his apartment wrapped in each other's arms. They were a frenzy of mouths, hands, taste, and sensation by the time they got to the top, and the air in the elevator was hot and thick with desire.

Holly was thankful she'd decided to shave her legs. If their time in the elevator was any indication of where the evening was headed, she was relieved to have been somewhat prepared. Alas, her X-rated prediction was wrong, and Holly was slightly disappointed that Edward remained a perfect gentleman for the remainder of the evening.

After giving her the grand tour, Edward introduced Holly to his housekeeper, Sue, who was busy getting dinner started. The petite, middle-aged woman smiled and greeted her politely, but there was a certain brand of weariness in her eyes. Holly's cheeks pinked and her eyes fell to the floor as she recognized what that weariness was; Sue was used to this routine. In fact, she had a front row seat on permanent reserve for Edward's endless parade of women.

After excusing Sue for the evening, Edward rolled up his sleeves and took over where she'd left off. Holly sat on a suede barstool at the large center island and sipped crisp, cool chardonnay as she took in the enormity of his place. It really was huge, but the rooms were draped in subdued earth tones and comfortably, yet very tastefully decorated. Holly noted that the incredible space was very homey as she watched Edward work his magic in the kitchen. The meal was simple, yet superb-rib-eye steaks, roasted fingerling potatoes, and sautéed asparagus tips.

After dinner, Edward led her into the front room and dimmed the lights. Holly was admiring his sweeping view of Seattle when soft music suddenly filled the air. Edward took her glass of wine and set it on the large, redwood coffee table. Pulling her into his arms, he held her close as they moved together to the soft melody that was piped into the room from an unseen source. There was nowhere else either of them wanted to be in that moment.

Holly closed her eyes, resting her head against the planes of his chest and relaxed in his strong embrace. She thought about how wonderful the past week had been-about how utterly happy he made her. Suddenly, she found herself overwhelmed by her feelings for Edward.

So much had changed in the short time since Holly's arrival. The mere sparks of attraction she'd instantly felt upon meeting Edward, had quickly developed into the warm, glowing embers of friendship. Kindled by her inexplicable trust in him and their mutual attraction to one another, the smoldering embers swiftly evolved into the strong, healthy blaze of a roaring fire. As Edward continued to seek her out and spend time with her, the woman inside of Holly, stirred from a very long slumber by the intensity of her desire for Edward, was now fully awake and clawing for release.

Cautioning herself against Edward's sordid past, Holly knew she wasn't yet clear on how ugly things were. She needed to tread lightly and just enjoy his company rather than over analyze what he had come to mean to her. Even so, Holly couldn't deny how many things she truly loved about him: his beauty-both inside and out, his brilliant mind, his sense of humor, the lengths he was willing go to spend time with her, his honesty. ... At some point, she gave up tallying his positive qualities altogether, and the truth finally materialized itself in an epiphany of unprecedented measure. Holly was in love with Edward.

She tried several times over the course of the last week to rationalize her sudden insight-to negate her feelings as nothing more than a ridiculous crush that was bordering on obsession. However, as much as she tried to feel differently, her heart couldn't be tamed. Holly knew deep in her core that her feelings went well beyond harmless butterflies and superficial flirting. She loved Edward Cullen for the man he was. Once she'd finally accepted that she loved him, her desire unfurled completely. She physically ached to give him the only thing she had to offer-herself.

They'd been dancing for quite sometime when Holly finally lifted her head from his chest. She took the time to stare deep into his eyes-much deeper than she'd ever dared to before. His return gaze was searching, intense, and full of love. Or maybe her subconscious misinterpreted what she saw in his eyes, helping her to see only what she so desperately wanted.

"Edward ..." she murmured.

Holly had no idea how to properly convey what she was feeling. Rather than embarrass herself by saying the words aloud, she tugged lightly on his shirt and pulled his face down to hers. The kiss was long and deliberate. Edward's lips were warm and soft as they moved against her own. For Holly, it was the most sensual, meaningful ninety seconds they'd ever shared. She could only hope that the meaning was there for him, as well.

A heady moan escaped Edward's lips and he pulled away, lingering close as his fingers traced her collarbone. His body was on fire with need, and he took a deep, unsteady breath to right himself. The kiss had certainly affected him, that much was obvious, but Holly's heart sank when he finally found his voice.

"Holly ... that was"-he cleared his throat and swallowed hard-"I _have_ to take you back home tonight. I promised your brother. Josh is expecting you to walk through the door anytime now," he told her, his features wrought with turmoil. His heart clenched, and he kissed her again when Holly's expression shifted to one of pain. The change in her features had been so slight-only her eyes betrayed her. Still, however subtle the change, her disappointment tore him a part.

Holly pulled her lips away from the distraction of his kiss and looked pleadingly into his eyes. "I want to stay here tonight ... with you," she whispered, laying all her cards on the table and conveying her all-consuming desire to be with him.

Edward slowly released the breath he'd been holding. He was completely unnerved by the hazel eyes that stared back at him; they were so beautifully intense. Unable to look away from them, his own desire raged inside of him like a hurricane. "Holly, I would love nothing more. But I don't think that would be the right thing to do," he said with painful control and so much regret.

Holly closed her eyes, wincing as the sting of another rejection penetrated her ego and settled in her belly. She couldn't stand to look him in the eye as she spoke softly, "What's not right, Edward? Everyday, I fall harder ... I don't know how much longer I can stand this," she finished miserably, not knowing how much she should divulge, or if she'd already said too much. She wanted to be free to shout from Edward's balcony that she was completely and utterly in love with him. However, the last thing she wanted was to scare him away or, more importantly, face the possibility that he didn't feel the same.

Edward once again swallowed around the lump in his throat. He wanted so badly to go against his better judgment-to sweep her into his arms and carry her upstairs to his bed. He longed to lose himself in her innocence and let his body show her everything he couldn't find the words to say.

Tracing his finger up her slender neck, he hooked it under her chin, tilting her head back and forcing her eyes to look at him. He looked at Holly ruefully. "Baby, I know. I feel the same way, and it scares me," he admitted, his whispered words cracking.

Holly sighed and laid her head back down on his chest. "I don't think it's possible that you could feel the way I do," she stated softly and stared unseeing out the tall windows.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in her soft, golden brown waves. His strength wavered as he inhaled her soft, familiar scent, but he managed to remain in control. "Believe me, Holly. You have no idea. I never thought I was capable of feeling like this about someone-about you; I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. It's just ... Josh is pretty unhappy with my unrelenting attachment to you, and I don't want him taking his crap out on the wrong person. He doesn't understand how I feel about you, and I'm trying to respect the issues he has with me. He doesn't want to see you end up with someone like me, and I want to show him that I'm not who I used to be. If I brought you home tomorrow morning, he would kill us both. Please, don't be angry with me," he finished, his cheek pressed against the top of her head.

Holly rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. "I'm beginning to care less and less about what Josh thinks," she stated frankly. Although she knew Edward was resolved in his decision, she was frustrated with her brother. Josh had the silly idea that he needed to protect her from Edward-why, she didn't know-and Holly was tired of feeling like a child around him**. **

She sighed. However embarrassed she was or disappointed she felt, Holly didn't have it in her to be mad at Edward. As much as his refusal hurt, she was a fool-Edward's fool, to be exact. _God, when did I become _that _girl?_ She thought, wondering how hard it would be to endure the heartache she was surely setting herself up for.

Leaning back to look at him, Holly produced as much of a smile as she could muster, letting Edward know that they were okay. Still, the miserable ache of rejection balled up in her stomach-a familiar pain she'd all but grown to ignore. "You know, I'm starting to feel like _you're_ the virgin, and I'm some kind of skeevy predator trying to lure you into my van," she said, cocking an eyebrow.

Edward shook with quiet laughter. He removed one arm from around her waist to smooth the long bangs away from her eyes. "Right. _You're_ the maniacal, sex-crazed fiend. Whatever will become of my innocence?" he teased dryly. He held her tightly and tickled her under her ribs when she laughed indignantly. Holly squealed as he kept his fingers just out of her reach.

Edward finally relented and wove his hands in her hair, pulling her head back to look in her eyes again. The playful moment was gone, and Holly's breath caught in her throat as Edward's eyes blazed into hers with raw desire. _Holy crap_, she thought, the sound of her own pulse pounding in her ears.

Skimming his nose along her jaw, Edward's voice rumbled as his lips pressed against her ear. "You have no idea what you're doing to me, Holly," he whispered before grasping her chin and hungrily claiming her mouth again.

On the drive home, Edward latched onto Holly's hand as his car soared through the night. The headlights of Mike's SUV sliced through the blackness behind them as he kept a moderate distance between the two vehicles. Periodically, throughout the contemplative silence, Edward would pull her hand to his mouth and warm her icy fingers with his lips. When he parked in the front drive of Josh and Alice's house, Edward unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to Holly, gazing for a long moment at the reason for his total happiness during the past week.

Edward finally shrugged and, with no further preamble, lunged across the seat, grabbing Holly's face with both hands and kissing her mercilessly. Holly gripped his solid arms to brace herself as she was pressed hard against the supple leather seat. Her own need for him was almost unbearable as she whimpered helplessly into his mouth.

Breaking the kiss, Edward pressed his forehead against hers. Gasping for air, he opened his mouth several times as if to say something, but whatever it was, never surfaced. Finally, he released her and slumped back in his own seat, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

Breathless and stupefied, Holly brushed her swollen lips with her fingertips. Before she could say something that would undoubtedly lead to regret, she hurried out of the car, fumbling with the door to get away from Edward and his penetrating, green stare.

Edward pounded his fists against the steering wheel as soon as Holly closed the passenger side door. He felt on the verge of exploding with the powerful, yet foreign emotions Holly had ignited in him. He watched in painful surrender as Holly quickly make her way into the house with three little words that would change everything dangling from the precipice of his lips.


	12. Chapter 12

Twelve

Holly stared out the window at the twinkling lights of Seattle with an uneasy stomach. The wondrous bliss of her past week spent with Edward was pushed completely from her mind, replaced with anxiety over the night to come. She and Edward were in a parade of cars, inching closer and closer to making their grand entrance at the Open Heart Ball.

Before Holly was ready, Edward stopped the car and put it in neutral. He gave her a broad smile and squeezed her hand reassuringly before exiting the Vanquish. Holly watched with bated breath as the seven or eight photographers—the local media—immediately began assaulting him with their cameras.

The flashing lights were reminiscent of a strobe light, and the chaotic glow illuminated his tall frame in an unnatural light as they angled for his attention. The press seemed well aware of who he was, and Holly's heart began to palpitate as she waited in the comfort of the passenger seat for Edward to make his way to her door.

Feeling like the proverbial deer in headlights, Holly finally emerged from the car with Edward's assistance. An unseen attendant took Edward's car and the safety of the Vanquish was gone, moving along to let the next car in line pull up. Holly was immediately blinded by a flash in her face, and several of the brazen photographers and page-six insiders called to her, hoping to catch the name of Edward's latest flavor of the month.

Fresh, minty breath ghosted across her neck as Edward leaned in close to reassure her everything would be okay. "Breathe, Holly. Just keep that gorgeous smile on your face and we'll be inside before you know it."

Edward wasn't sure how much longer his cool façade would last; he was extremely anxious to get tonight over with. After the sheer joy of the past week, it wasn't until the previous night's ride home when insight finally hit him. Carlisle's words, which he'd been contemplating all week long, finally clicked into place and suddenly, everything made sense.

He'd mantra'd himself all the way home, repeating out loud, "I love her. I really love her. I've never been in love. But I love her. I really fucking love her …" And so on. Carlisle had advised him that once he was certain about his feelings, it would be a mistake to wait too long to let her know, and Edward didn't plan to wait any longer than he had to. Tonight, when the party was over and they were alone in his apartment, he intended to look Holly in the eyes and tell her he loved her.

His former self—the person he'd pretended to be for so long—was dead. Edward felt like a man reborn, and he knew it was Holly who'd been his saving grace. He hoped that Holly's desire to be with him was more than just her belated hormones getting the better of her, but he was willing to take the risk and put his heart on the line for the first time ever to find out.

Smiling down at her with ardor, Edward held his arm out to her. Heeding his advice, Holly took a deep breath and plastered on a smile as she snaked her arm through his and allowed him to lead her down the black velvet carpet. _Why black?_ She wondered absently. Her attention was quickly averted from her fleeting thoughts as several people, guests of the ball and colleagues of Edward's, vied for his attention.

Periodically, he would stop their procession to briefly say _hello_ to others who were making their way into the museum. Holly clung to his side, smiling and politely greeting those she was introduced to. Surrounded by men in tuxedos and women in haute couture, she'd never felt more out of place in her life. Silently, Holly begged herself not to trip over her own feet or step on any of the many flowing gowns that surrounded them.

Finally, they made their way inside the art museum, which Alice, Esme, and an army of event coordinators had elegantly transformed to suit the special occasion. Every inch was decked out in ivory and pale chartreuse and accented with gold. Holly was glad to see a pair of familiar faces approaching as Esme and Carlisle made their way towards them through the crowd.

Esme gave Holly a brief but tight hug and kissed her cheeks. "You two finally made it! Holly, you look more beautiful than ever, my darling," she said, holding her at arm's length to get a good look at her.

Edward beamed at his mother's observation while Holly blushed, knowing how absolutely ridiculous she must've looked trying to fit in with Seattle's most elite. "Thank you, Esme. You look stunning," she said, admiring the way Esme effortlessly commanded her surroundings with not an ounce of fear. She _was_ stunning. Her deep emerald chiffon dress brought out her eyes and perfectly complimented her cream-colored skin and auburn hair.

Esme waved off the compliment and kissed Edward's cheek, before turning to Carlisle. "Darling, why don't you and Edward go and get us some champagne. I'll show Holly to our table," she suggested.

He kissed his wife's hand and clapped his son soundly on the back, jarring Edward from his thoughts. "Come on, son. Champagne for the ladies, and a scotch for you and me," Carlisle said, nudging Edward in the ribs mischievously. Clearly, it would not be his first drink of the evening.

Edward smiled at his father and leaned down to kiss Holly's cheek. "You're in good hands, love. I'll be right back," he whispered in her ear. Holly felt a surge of unease as he departed, but Esme seemed to sense her anxiety and draped an arm around her, leading them to their table.

Esme squeezed her shoulder and leaned into Holly as they strolled. "Edward is certainly attached to you, Holly. I've never seen him this lighthearted and happy. I can hardly believe my eyes," she commented with a sly, knowing smile on her face.

Holly was immediately uncomfortable again. Standing in that room, surrounded by hundreds of Edward's beautiful, privileged peers, Holly was aware of how utterly ridiculous it was that she and him were there together and thought that, surely, Esme could see that, as well.

After the trial ended, Edward had taken time off from his sparkly life to regroup, but _this_ was his world, and it was so incredibly different from Holly's. She had the passing thought that if someone were to take a snapshot of the room and blow it up; she would stick out like Waldo. Sure, it might take a little searching, due to the vast number of people, but once Holly was spotted as the imposter, she would stand out like a dandelion among roses.

"He's wonderful, Esme. It's been really nice spending time with him," Holly told her shyly. The stretch of the truth was more like a hyperbole in reverse. The past week had been, without a doubt, the most incredible of her life, thanks to Edward. To say that it was simply _nice_ was the understatement of the century.

Esme squeezed Holly's arm tighter. "I'm just so glad that he's happy," she said and gestured to the table in front of them where Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, and Emmett were already seated.

Emmett and Jasper stood when they approached, and Alice ran around the table, throwing her arms around Holly.

"You're here! Look at you; I knew that dress would be a head-turner. Listen, I've got to go rescue your brother from Carlisle's old cronies. If I don't pull him away now, he'll be wrapped up in legal talk all night. Have a seat. Dad's going to make his speech soon, and then they'll start serving dinner," she said, pushing Holly towards the two open seats reserved for her and Edward.

Holly smiled warmly at her sister-in-law's exuberance and watched as she hurried away to save Josh. Alice was absolutely in her element, and she positively glowed in the gold satin dress that clung to her petite, curvy frame.

Jasper pulled Holly's chair out for her, taking his own seat once she was comfortable. He leaned in close. "Are we having fun yet, _doll_?" he said, teasing Holly with Edward's chosen term of endearment for her.

Holly snickered. She was glad to be sitting next to Jasper. He was the only member of the Cullen family who was anywhere close to being as uncomfortable as she was that night. He'd been moping around the entire week, dreading the ball and having to face everyone's nosy questions about his personal life.

"Loads. Didn't you bring a date, _Jaz_?" she asked, using the nickname that he loathed.

Jasper leaned back in his chair lazily. "Nah, I'm flying solo tonight; although, I'm beginning to regret that decision. I've got every woman here over forty wanting to introduce me to their daughters, nieces, or cousins. God, I hate these things," he informed her with a grimace.

"It is rather intimidating," Holly agreed. "I'm so far out of my league here."

Jasper laughed lightly, shaking his head. "Trust me, kiddo, you've got nothing to worry about. Now, Edward, on the other hand—he's got plenty to worry about. Every guy in the room has looked at you at least twice since you walked in. Edward's not used to so much competition; he'd better keep an eye on you tonight," he said with a wink.

_Competition my ass, _she thought dryly, nudging Jasper's arm with her elbow. "Oh, be quiet. You're a terrible liar," she said, smirking.

Jasper held his hands up in defense, and from somewhere behind them, his name was called. He grumbled and Holly giggled as he begrudgingly excused himself to go put in some mandatory mingling time. As soon as Jasper was gone, Rosalie gracefully slid over and took his spot.

Rose's elegance defied description. Her toned, Amazonian body was wrapped in a deep purple dress that seemed to be created by the gods just for her. Her luscious blonde hair flowed around her cherub-like face, and Holly couldn't help her state of awe. In a dark, far-off corner of her psyche, Holly's confidence was tightly curled into the fetal position, rocking back and forth and sobbing like a baby.

"You look really pretty tonight, Holly. Leave it to Alice to find a killer dress like that only days before an event," Rosalie told her with a genuine smile. Holly was shocked. The two of them hadn't seen each other since Sunday at dinner; even then, they hadn't exactly hit it off.

Holly shook herself from her stupor. "Thank you, Rosalie. You look … incredible," she complimented, and Rose flashed her brilliant, pearly-white smile in response. An awkward silence followed and, to squash it, Holly talked about the first thing she could think of. "I'm surprised to see Jasper here alone. He's a really decent, good-looking guy; I assumed the girls would be clamoring on top of each other to be his date," Holly observed, hoping to keep the light humor going.

"Oh, they are. Jaz is the best, but he's really careful when it comes to dating. He went through a pretty rough breakup last year and never fully recovered from it. Lauren Mallory—awful girl—walked all over him, and he let her for far too long. When he finally came to his senses and ended things, she smeared his name in every possible way she could think of. It was a terrible time for him—for everyone. Josh was there for him a lot, I remember—and Edward. Those three were nearly inseparable." Rosalie thoughtfully looked at Holly and smiled lightly, smoothing a perfectly errant wave of hair. "Jasper will find the right girl when he's ready to let go of his heart again. He truly deserves to be happy … just like Edward deserves to be happy." Rosalie's steel-blue eyes were nearly violet under the soft lighting as she searched Holly's face once again.

_Uh oh,_ Holly thought and stared self-consciously at her lap, bracing herself for Rosalie's backlash. When it didn't come, Holly glanced up and saw Rose chewing her plump bottom lip.

"You know, I've never seen Edward like this before," Rose said, cocking her head to the side.

Holly blushed. "That's what I keep hearing," she said, laughing lightly.

"Well, it's true. He's never been so stirred up about a woman before. The way he talks about you to Emmett—he's so buoyant, so … happily enamored with you. It's almost unnerving to see him so giddy. None of us have ever witnessed this side of him, and I'll admit it's a nice change."

Holly couldn't help the face-splitting grin induced by Rosalie's words, but before she could get too excited, Rosalie cocked a perfectly groomed eyebrow and leaned in close.

"Of course, this is the first time he's ever put himself so far out there for anyone, and we're _all_ watching to see what happens. Just think about what exactly it is that you want from him, Holly, because if he gets _hurt_ … well, may God help you," Rosalie said and graced her with another dazzling smile before Jasper came back to claim his seat.

_And, boom goes the dynamite, _Holly thought, her heart dropping as she fought to keep her own smile in place.

With Rosalie's disturbingly friendly threat fresh in her mind, Holly took a sip of her water, willing it to be something stronger. Just then, Edward appeared beside her, unbuttoning his tuxedo jacket to sit comfortably. He handed her a beautifully-etched crystal glass filled with golden champagne, noticing that she looked pale.

"Sorry it took so long. Are you feeling okay, Holly? You look like you've just seen a ghost. Would you like to go outside and get some air?" he asked, touching her flushed cheek as his eyes examined her.

Holly didn't want to bring up her and Rosalie's chat so she recharged her smile for him. "I'm great. Just a bit overwhelmed, I guess." She took a long sip of the bubbly wonder-drink.

Edward wasn't completely convinced, but he nodded anyway, letting it go. He was too distracted and on edge after his trip to the bar with Carlisle. Seeing so many people—so many women—from his past made him nervous and having them in the same room as Holly made him positively nauseous.

With the dreamlike state he'd been floating around in all week, Edward hadn't had the right presence of mind to even consider that Alice would be inviting so many ghosts from his past. As he and Carlisle got their drinks and left the bar, Edward had almost choked on his first sip of single-malt Scotch whisky when he saw what appeared to be an entire table dedicated to the various members of society he'd slept with. As he excused himself from Carlisle and quickly made his way back to his own table, he prayed that Holly wouldn't have to face any of them. They would eat her for dessert.

Edward wiped away the sheen of sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief, concluding that things had the potential to get very awkward.

The lights dimmed even lower and everyone applauded when Carlisle took his place before a brightly-lit podium at the head of the room. He held everyone's attention captive as he spoke about the ugly truth of so many people existing in today's society, especially children, without enough to eat. Holly was enlightened and inspired as Carlisle went on about the difference that The Cullen Foundation, with the help of such generous donors, would continue to try to make in the lives of the thousands of children with empty stomachs and empty hearts.

Edward leaned into Holly and grazed the soft skin behind her ear with his nose, relishing her scent. "Are you sure you're all right, doll? We can get out of here if you want. As soon as the speech ends, I promise," he said, anxious to take her away and get on with what really mattered—pouring his heart out and confessing his feelings to her.

Holly turned her head slightly towards him and scrunched her forehead. "Don't be silly—I'm fine," she whispered to Edward, who was planting very distracting, feather-lite kisses on her bare shoulder. "This is an important night for your family. We're staying."

Edward groaned against her skin. "After dinner, we're out of here. We can go back to my house and … talk," he whispered back, hoping to persuade her without alarming her with his nerves. Now that Edward was sure of his feelings for her, the couple of hours he'd have to wait to get her alone seemed like a lifetime. There were things he needed to say to her—things he'd been thinking about all night long—but the Open Heart Ball was not the venue for it.

Holly held a finger to her lips, playfully admonishing him, and turned her attention back to Carlisle as he concluded his speech.

"… Giving freely of your time and well-deserved fortune is a generous form of the love that I've been speaking about tonight. May the love you're showing tonight help to heal the sick and nourish the deficient. May it bring to light all that is good and righteous in each of us and fill us all with the desire to pay it forward. And, for the millions of innocent children who suffer through dire circumstances, with nothing to lose and nothing to give, may _love_ save the empty," Carlisle finished, nodding once to the applauding crowd and stepping down from the podium. Everyone at their table stood as he made his way back to his seat.

Holly sat back down in her chair when everyone else did the same. She turned to Edward with a huge smile, knowing how proud he must be of his father. Edward smiled in return but looked distracted. His eyes kept darting to the back corner of the room. _What's gotten into you, Edward? _Holly questioned him mentally. She smoothly glanced over her shoulder but didn't see anything out of the ordinary—just pretty girls in pretty dresses.

As soon as the lights were back on—the brightest they'd been yet—a dual parade of servers in crisp, white suit jackets emerged from both sides of the room and promptly began filling wine glasses. Holly excused herself to go find the restroom, and Edward accompanied her as far as the bar.

"I'll be waiting right here," he assured her.

"You don't have to wait for me, Edward. I'm capable of finding my own way," she said with a wink, leaving him at the bar smiling after her. Holly needed a minute alone in the restroom to gather her wits. She was certainly confused by Edward's strange mood and wondered absently if she'd ever be able to figure him out completely.

As soon as she was in the safety of the restroom, Holly locked herself in a stall and leaned against the door, taking a deep breath. "Just keep it together, Holly. So far, so good," she said aloud. Aside from Rosalie's protective warning, the evening _had_ been going rather smoothly, and soon enough, it would be over. Holly squeezed her eyes shut and almost groaned out loud when she heard a toilet flush and a velvety chuckle from a couple of stalls down. _Terrific_, she thought.

Not needing to use the restroom at all, but too embarrassed from her not-so-private pep talk to face the unknown woman, Holly had a seat on the lid of the toilet as she waited for her audience to leave. From under the stall door, Holly could see the heels of a pair of impossibly-high, red stilettos. They were stationed in front of the sprawling vanity, and the woman gave no indication that she was going to simply wash her hands and leave.

After several minutes, Holly gave up hope. She rolled her eyes and, for good measure, flushed the toilet that she'd never used in the first place. She opened her stall and walked to the sink to wash her hands. Feeling the woman's stare, Holly looked up and smiled politely at her.

The woman was quite a bit older—late thirties, maybe early forties—but she was stunning. Her black hair was cropped very close to her head, and her silver eyes were piercing. The V of her black dress was cut almost to her navel, while the rest of it flowed to the ground around her. She reminded Holly of a panther, and she could feel the woman eyeing her like a hawk as she concentrated on getting the soap off her hands as fast as she could.

"Would you mind handing me some lotion—Holly, is it?"

Holly's cheeks burned at the reason behind why the woman already knew her name. She dried her hands on a plush towel and handed her the fancy bottle of lotion out of the basket on her side of the counter.

"I'm Eve, by the way. Eve York. Boy, you _are_ young, aren't you? Do you have a last name, Holly?" she asked. Eve was still smiling, but her chrome-colored eyes narrowed with curiosity.

"McNamera—Holly McNamera. It's nice to meet you," she said, shyly. Holly couldn't put a finger on why she felt so uncomfortable in Eve's presence, but she did.

"McNamera? As in …" Eve waved a delicate hand in the air to insinuate the name behind the function.

Holly had finished washing and drying her hands and was ready to go back to Edward, but she felt like trapped prey. "Yes—well, not exactly. Josh McNamera is my brother. I'm not a lawyer," she explained.

"Ah, I see. I guess Edward's keeping it all in the family these days," Eve stated with a smirk.

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ Holly wondered.

"You're all the girls can talk about, you know. They're all up in arms over you, seeing as you're someone they've never heard of. You have to understand, Edward's been fishing from the same pond for a long time now." A nostalgic, far-off look played across Eve's features. "Once upon a time, Edward and I were very close. But that was a lifetime ago, or so it seems. Now, here I am—still single and sitting at the dreaded table of ex's." She laughed bitterly at the irony.

Holly frowned, and her cheeks were now blazing. She didn't want to hear any of this. The puzzle pieces had come together, and she realized that Eve had been a former lover of Edward's. Holly wanted to flee, sure that nothing good could come from their little bathroom interlude. "If you'll excuse me," Holly said politely and tossed her towel in the basket under the sink, desperate to escape the woman's icy stare.

Eve continued before Holly had the chance to break for the door, her voice retaining the same bitter edge. "From one woman to another, Holly, let me give you a little advice regarding Edward Cullen. You're very young, and it's easy to see why he's attracted to you. But trust and believe when I say that _sex,_ is all it is and all it will ever be to him. While you're happily under the spell of his magic wand, his mind is on one thing and one thing only. And his _eyes_ are on every other girl in the room, staking out his next victim.

"Unless you _want_ to end up with a shattered heart when he decides you're not exciting anymore or estranged enough from your family or he leaves you deserted on another continent, then you'd do well to stay far away from him. You mean absolutely nothing to him, sweetheart, just like the rest of us meant nothing to him. All you are is a warm place for him to put it. Run away now, and don't look back," Eve advised gravely. Her friendly mask was gone, and her eyes glared at Holly—two silver bullets.

As Holly stood in shock, gaping at Eve while she unleashed her resentment, a protective anger she'd never known before, mixed with a heavy dose of adrenaline, began to course through her body. The scorned ex-lover's warning erased Holly's intimidation and momentarily replaced it with indignant rage.

In a low, surprisingly controlled voice she barely recognized as her own, Holly unleashed a wrath of her own. "Well, Eve, I would know nothing _about_ Edward's magic wand_._ How _dare_ you talk to me about him; you don't even know me. Your advice is as inappropriate and unwanted as you apparently are. Perhaps if you dated someone your own age, Miss York, you'd have better luck. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'd like to return to my _family_." With the last shred of the courage that was quickly slipping away, Holly exited the restroom, leaving Eve behind with her jaw on the floor.

Once she was back in the ballroom, Holly took a deep, steadying breath, placing a shaky hand over her pounding heart. She had been as shocked as Eve was to hear the words come out of her mouth. Holly had never stood up to anyone like that before, but she'd also never felt so affronted in her life.

However, as quickly as the shot of super-adrenaline had overcome her, it dissipated, leaving her full of doubt. Although, she couldn't fathom Eve's audacity, bad-mouthing Edward to a perfect stranger, Holly's brain couldn't help but to immediately begin processing what she'd actually been told. The Edward she knew seemed so far from the person Eve had warned her about and Holly didn't want to believe that he could be, or ever had been, so heartless. But she also couldn't let herself be so naïve, so blind to what everyone had been telling her.

Deciding she'd better get lost before Eve emerged from the restroom, Holly took another deep breath and began making her way to the bar. That's when she noticed the same table of pretty dresses that Edward had unknowingly led her eye to earlier. Every one of them was staring at her. Holly walked on, pretending not to notice their scrutiny. _The table of ex's,_ she realized despondently, finally making sense of Edward's odd behavior.

When she reached the bar, Holly scanned the surrounding area for Edward, but he wasn't around. Grateful to have a few extra moments to compose herself, she ordered a vodka tonic and took a long drink before setting it down and rubbing her forehead. She scanned the room once more, spotting Edward near their table with Esme at his arm. He stood in the middle of a group of doting, older woman, looking very trapped.

Holly tried to relax and slow her heart rate, but the confrontation with Eve kept replaying in her mind. _A warm place for him to put it, indeed,_ Holly's mind sneered.

Her brain was in a heated match of tug-of-war with her heart. On the one hand, Eve, Josh, Rose, and even Edward himself had alluded, in one way or another, to the fact that he'd never had a meaningful relationship. Any kind of relationship he'd had in the past had revolved solely around sex—at least for him. On the other hand, Edward was obviously in no hurry to just get what he wanted and leave Holly broken hearted. In fact, he treated her rather delicately, keeping his magic wand, or love stick, or whatever it was, as far away from her as possible. The overtly gentle manor in which he regarded her was a complete contradiction to what everyone had told her thus far.

Holly sighed and sank the rest of her drink. _Edward Cullen, am I destined to be nothing more than just another name on your laundry list of women?_ she thought dejectedly.

Staring into her empty glass, Holly didn't realize that another figure had sat down next to her until a bronze hand gently pushed a fresh drink under her nose. Startled from her musing, Holly looked up and found herself staring into the ebony eyes of Jacob Black.

"You look like you can use another one of these," Jacob said with a wide grin, resting his oversized hand on her bare arm.

_You have _got_ to be kidding me,_ Holly thought, staring down at the hand that lingered on her forearm. She felt as if there must've been a giant target painted on her back. Holly immediately stood up, smiling politely. "That's very kind of you, but I was just leaving," she said, hopping off her seat, trying to avoiding his inquiring eyes.

"Wait, Holly. Don't you remember me? We met Monday night at the symphony," he asked, grabbing her hand.

Holly nonchalantly pulled her hand away, instinctively grabbing her fresh drink. "Yes, I remember. You're Jacob. I forgot Edward mentioning that you work at the firm. You were at the concert with your grandparents, right?" Holly asked, not entirely in the mood to make small talk with yet another inquiring passerby.

Jacob chuckled and stuck his rejected hand into the pocket of his tuxedo jacket. "Great-grandparents, yes—and, please, call me Jake. I enjoy spending time with them, even if my great-grandmother holds the notion that I'm perpetually four years old."

Holly laughed. "She seems really sweet. Listen, thank you for the drink, but Edward's probably wondering where I am," she said apologetically.

"Aw, relax; he's dancing with his mother. We've got a little time." He gestured for her to sit with a genuine smile.

She quickly glanced over at Edward and Esme. Deciding Jake didn't have some kind of hidden, raunchy agenda, Holly hesitated for only a second before taking her seat again. Surely, Edward wouldn't be happy to see her canoodling with Jake, but she was too mentally exhausted to worry much about it.

Jacob nodded his head, satisfied with Holly's decision to stay. He cocked his head to the side. "I just heard about what happened in the bathroom with Eve. Boy, she's pissed," he said, laughing.

Holly's mouth fell open, shocked that news of the confrontation had already begun to circulate. "Well, she shouldn't interfere with other people's business. She had no right to say those things to me," she said quietly but firmly.

Jake held one hand up in defense. "You're absolutely right; I wasn't there. I only know the gist of it. Look, Holly, despite the awful things Edward may have told you about me, he and I used to be pretty good friends. We went to law school together, you know. We were always getting into trouble together." Jacob shook his head and laughed nostalgically. "Man, the two of us together—we tore that campus up; the girls didn't stand a chance," he said, before remembering he was speaking to Holly. He smiled sheepishly and shrugged in apology.

Holly rubbed her temples. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm sorry. All I'm trying to say is I know Edward better than you may think—better than he'd like to admit. Shit, he taught me everything I know about women. Eve may be a little dramatic, but believe it or not, her heart's in the right place. She's just telling you the facts from personal experience. Obviously, you're biased because you like him a lot, but Edward doesn't … _do_ relationships. She was just trying to tell you if _that's_ what you're after, well, the prognosis isn't so good."

"The prognosis? So now you're a sex hound _and_ a doctor?" Holly smirked as Jacob howled with laughter.

"I'm definitely _not_ a doctor," he replied, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. Holly smiled, shaking her head at him again.

After a moment, Jacob looked at her squarely. "Holly, you seem like a nice person. Don't let yourself be deceived just because he's schmoozing you. He's not as great as you might think he is."

Holly poked at the lemon in her drink with a straw, contemplating his words. Her head was a clouded mess, and she didn't know what to think or feel anymore. Looking up at him again, she noticed that Jake was staring over her shoulder and his friendly face was gone, replaced with an icy smirk.

"Speak of the devil, and he shall appear," he quipped.

Holly turned her head just as Edward approached the bar.

Edward didn't acknowledge Jake's remark. Still, he kept his hard, cold eyes on Jacob as he spoke to Holly. "Hey, doll. Are you ready to go sit down for dinner?" Tearing his threatening eyes from Jake, Edward finally looked at Holly, who simply nodded her head in response.

As they left, Holly glanced back at Jake, who held up his glass to her. With one more person's advice to consider, Holly felt even more confused than she had before—if that were even possible.

When Edward had finished dancing with his mom and glanced at the bar to find Jacob and Holly sitting together, he'd immediately excused himself to go put an end to whatever was happening. Edward was nearly boiling over with jealousy and anger as he pushed his way through the crowd. He had to get Holly far away from Jake as quickly as possible.

Edward tightened his hold on her waist. "I'm not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the night," he stated through his teeth.

"Ditto," Holly replied, feeling she'd had enough revelations for one evening.

They finally reached the table and took their seats as dinner ensued. Both Edward and Holly were too distracted to make conversation, and their end of the table remained fairly quiet through the start of the meal. Between the fourth and fifth courses, Edward caught Alice by the elbow as she passed by on her way to the ladies room.

He leaned away from Holly and motioned for Alice to lean down so he could talk to her privately. "Just what the hell is _that_ all about?" he whispered angrily, gesturing slightly with his head to the table of his ex-lovers, noticing how they were steadily keeping track of his and Holly's every move.

Alice raised an eyebrow and nonchalantly jerked her arm from Edward's grasp. "Will you chill out? That's the singles table. You know, for people who didn't bring a plus-one. They're prominent members of society and contributors to the cause; it's not my fault you've slept with every one of them," she whispered through her teeth.

"Why are you so hell-bent on ruining my life? Do you know how awkward this is for me?" he asked, whispering loudly.

Alice noticed that several pairs of eyes were focused on them and leaned down to whisper her reply through a large, fake grin. "Could you _be_ any more arrogant? Jesus, Edward, no one's trying to ruin your life. I'm not even trying to ruin your chances with Holly for that matter. Haven't you noticed that by now? _You_ created that table over there—not me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had a lot of water tonight," she hissed and walked away as Edward turned back to his plate, grumbling.

"Everything all right?" Holly asked.

He turned to her, forcing a smile and brushed a strand of hair away from her neck. "It will be. I can't wait to get out of here so we can be alone," he said softly.

Holly looked back down at her plate of food. She still didn't know how to feel about the things Eve and Jake had told her. Holly was nervous, knowing that the things Eve had told her were probably the truth. Then again, she realized there was a lot she didn't know about him. The unknown details of Edward's sordid past were suddenly very present, looming over them like a dark cloud.

"You and I both. I get the feeling that everyone here is watching me," Holly said, glancing around the room. Sure enough, several curious spectators in the back corner of the room were eyeing her and whispering to one another. Eve was no where in sight, but there was no doubt in her mind now that they were talking about the bathroom incident.

Holly would die of embarrassment if Edward's family ever found out. What a deplorable way to behave at an upscale function. She could have very easily taken the high road and walked away. She scolded herself for not doing just that. Holly had realized two things: One, the more she thought about it, the more she was certain she'd overreacted to Eve's warnings about Edward. And two, Holly didn't know a _thing_ about the woman she'd so brazenly told off. For all she knew, she had blatantly insulted a huge benefactor to the Cullen Foundation. _Ugh, what have I done?_ Holly thought miserably.

Oblivious to the scandal, Edward smiled and shook his head. "Of course they're watching you, Holly. You're the most beautiful woman in the room, and no one can figure out who the hell you are or where you came from. You're an enigma. It's really quite entertaining to watch people speculate," he told her, kissing her hand.

Holly looked at him, unamused. _Entertaining? Buddy, you missed the main event, _she thought dryly, and her voice reflected the tone of her thoughts. "You're certifiable. They're staring because they can't figure out what a nobody like me is doing hanging off your arm. I'm not like them, and they can see right through me," she said, cutting into her meat.

"Now who's certifiable? First of all, you're better than everyone in this room for many reasons, aside from your beauty, Holly. Second of all, I'm tired of all this self-deprecation. You don't see yourself clearly at all, and I intend to change that," Edward informed her matter-of-factly.

"Just eat your food, Cullen," she said with a small smile, shoving a roasted brussel sprout into her mouth.

The rest of dinner dragged on, but the light mood surrounding the rest of the table soon took its effect on Holly. She was surprised to find herself having a good time, in spite of all that had happened. They were surrounded by people she'd come to care about as well as some other friendly faces. Aside from the Cullens, the table held two of the largest donors of the year, George and Laurent—the couple Holly and Edward had shared a drink with at Canlis. The champagne flowed, and Carlisle was the life of the party with Emmett right there with him, joking and laughing loudly.

As soon as dessert was over and the tables were cleared, the lights dimmed and a band playing soft music immediately appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. George clapped his hands excitedly. "They're playing our song! Dance with me, lover," he gushed to Laurent, pulling him up from his seat.

Edward put his arm around Holly and they spent a few minutes watching the dance floor fill up with couples. He lowered his head to press his warm lips to Holly's ear. "This is our chance—let's go now," he whispered.

Despite the unexpectedly jovial turn the evening had taken, Holly was ready for the night to end as soon as possible. She leaned into his touch for the briefest of moments before grabbing the gold clutch Alice had lent her. Holly took Edward's hand, and he led her away from the table.

"Whoa, whoa, where are you two going? The dance floor is this way," Carlisle called, pointing in the direction he and Esme were headed.

Edward stopped and pulled Holly close to his side. "Actually, we were going to head out quietly. Maybe go watch a movie or something," Edward said, very slightly cocking one eyebrow, hoping Carlisle would get the hint and let him off the hook. Alas, he'd had too much scotch to be privy to any of Edward's subliminal messages.

Carlisle wouldn't hear of it. "Edward, you have a beautiful date tonight—dance with her. Besides, the chaperones won't be back for another hour or so, and I don't want you going home without Mike behind you. Now let's boogie," Carlisle said and pulled Esme quickly to the floor. He spun her around and dipped her low before pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her. Holly blushed at the look of desire in both of their eyes.

"Well, I suppose we're stuck. Would you care to dance?" Edward asked. Despite his agitation to leave, the next hour wouldn't be a total waste, so long as Holly was wrapped around him. He was aware that telling Holly he was in love with her could only go one of two ways, and a small part of him was nervous that it might be his last chance to hold her in his arms.

"Of course," Holly tentatively replied and allowed him to lead her onto the crowded dance floor.

Edward pulled her to him with an exaggerated flourish, making Holly laugh. He held her flush against his body, safely tucking her into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as the opening notes of "Fade into You" began. _Yes. This feels right. This is where you belong,_ he thought, nuzzling Holly's hair. When she finally relaxed and placed her head on his chest, Edward relaxed as well and closed his eyes, imagining it was just the two of them.

Now that Edward knew what he wanted, he was sure that a part of him must have known it all along. Holly was his, and he knew she wanted him and no one else. That thought alone made Edward feel lighter than air; for he knew he would never feel for anyone else what he felt for Holly. He was a fool for not knowing himself well enough to see it sooner, but it didn't matter anymore. His heart was set, and nothing could stand in their way now.


	13. Chapter 13

Thirteen

Due to the stimulating evening she'd had so far, Holly couldn't relax at all. After having to sit through Rosalie's warning, followed by standing up to Eve in the bathroom, and finally Jacob's enlightenment at the bar, Holly felt like she might explode if one more person decided to put in their two cents. She was more than ready to leave, but the night that just wouldn't end seemed far from over.

Although she couldn't escape the solicitude of the night, Holly did find that she could go numb in Edward's arms on the dance floor. With her head on his chest, she listened to his heart beating soundly, and her anxiety dulled considerably. No matter what was happening around them, being wrapped up in Edward made her feel unlike anything else in the world, and all the talk that surrounded her somehow seemed inconsequential in that moment.

However, despite the spell she was momentarily under, Holly knew she had been given much to consider. They were nearing the end of song number two when Holly felt Edward's long fingers under her chin, coaxing her face toward his. He brushed his lips lightly against hers, but when Holly didn't respond in her usual manor, he pulled his face back to study her.

It wasn't hard to see that her mood had been off all evening, and Edward wished he could look inside Holly's head and see what was bothering her. "What are you thinking about?" he asked her softly.

_You really don't want to know,_ Holly thought, but forced a weak smile for him. "That it's been a long day, and I feel like I could sleep for a week. What are you thinking about?" she countered, hoping to curb his concern.

The corner of Edward's mouth twitched slightly and his eyes softened. "Lots of things. Mostly you, though. I've been ready to leave since we got here, but I'm enjoying this moment. Dancing with you is definitely the highlight of my night so far," he said, brushing his fingers down her bare shoulder. "Have I told you how absolutely beautiful you look tonight?"

Closing her eyes, Holly let the sound of Edward's voice soothe her worry. She felt his mouth once again on hers and was eager to reciprocate properly this time. Holly parted her lips against his and lightly tugged on the hairs at the base of his neck. No matter what, she couldn't deny the chemistry between them or how much she truly wanted the man.

Edward's lips were soft and felt so needy against hers. He held her tightly against his body, and she would've happily spent the rest of the party in his embrace had it been an option. The song came to an end but their kiss did not, and Holly blushed when she suddenly heard Alice's voice behind her.

"Oh, for God's sake, will the two of you get a room already?" Alice teased them, winking at Holly. "I've come to steal my brother for a dance before the night ends. Do you think the two of you can stand to be a part for five minutes?"

Edward smiled in embarrassment and reluctantly freed Holly from his hold. As she stepped aside, Edward's eyes lingered on hers as he answered Alice. "I guess we can manage that."

Josh approached Holly, taking Edward's place while Alice dragged him to the far corner of the dance floor. As brother and sister, Alice and Edward had danced with each other hundreds of times at countless events over the years. They easily and automatically assumed their usual sibling-appropriate hold.

Glancing around to make sure they didn't have an audience, Alice leaned in close. "You are _not_ going to believe what I overheard in the ladies room earlier," she whispered, her bright green eyes locking on his.

Edward groaned. "I'm really not in the mood for idle gossip, Alice. I've got something much more important on my mind right now," he said tiredly. He could really care less about which two girls were wearing the same dress, or what guy was going home with someone other than whom he brought.

"Oh, I promise you'll want to hear this; although, you're really not going to like what I have to say. In fact, you might just lose it. Maybe I should just keep it to myself," Alice said, fretting her bottom lip. She didn't want Edward to lose his temper and make a scene.

"Well, congratulations. You've piqued my curiosity so now you have to tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle it," he told her coolly, impatient for her to get on with it already.

Alice nodded, squaring her shoulders in preparation. "Okay, so I was in the bathroom, doing my thing and minding my own business, when a couple of girls walked in. I was just finishing up when one of them mentioned Holly's name. I instantly recognized the voice; it was Eve York," she informed, trying to keep her voice as low as possible.

Edward blanched. His and Eve's relationship had ended over a year prior when Edward told her he wasn't interested in anything serious. There was a thirteen-year age difference between the two of them, and Esme had been disappointed in him from the very beginning. Everyone in the family knew her reputation with men well enough to know that Eve was an opportunistic gold digger.

Eve fought tooth and nail to get Edward to commit to her but, at the time, it was against his nature to commit to anything beyond a casual fling. His rejection had ignited a fury inside of Eve and she spent several weeks after their breakup trying to make his life a living hell.

"What did she say about Holly?" he asked carefully, almost afraid to know the answer.

"Well, of course I stayed in my stall to eavesdrop, and that's when I realized the other girl with her was Jessica Stanley. When Eve mentioned Holly's name, Jessica told her that she ran into you guys at Canlis. Jessica said Holly seemed like a sweetheart, and that it was a shame she'd fallen under your spell and would soon be just another victim. That's when Eve started in with the theatrics, as usual. She said she thought the same thing when she ran into Holly in the restroom earlier, but that she'd been wrong to assume she was a nice girl.

"Eve apparently considers it her duty to warn anyone she can about you. She told Holly to stay away from you-that you're nothing but a womanizer and would only end up screwing her over. I _know_ there was more to what she told Holly about you than that, but she didn't go into it, except to say that Holly was-how did she phrase it-_just a warm place for you to put it_," Alice said, nodding matter-of-factly.

"Oh, God," Edward moaned. To imagine Holly being ambushed by Eve-the woman who could make a grown man cry with just a look-made the blood drain from his face. He instinctively glanced around the ballroom, searching for Holly, but she was lost in the crowd. _God, what she must think of me,_ he thought, shaking his head miserably. He didn't know how much more he could listen to, but forced his attention back to Alice anyway.

Alice was clearly peeved as she relived her accidental intrusion on Eve and Jessica's conversation. "I wanted to bust out of my stall right then and tell her to mind her own business, but that's when she claimed that Holly _attacked_ her. You should have heard her in there, Edward; it was pathetic. Her performance was Oscar-worthy. She was practically in tears, telling Jessica how Holly had called her old and unwanted. Eve said all she wanted to do was help her see the truth, but that Holly basically told her to go to hell. Of course, _we_ know better; if Holly did say those things, it was only because Eve deserved it. But you know how Jessica is; she ate it up with a spoon. Eve's so used to people cowering in her presence; I can only imagine her surprise when Holly didn't so much as flinch.

"I hope she really _did _tell her to go to hell. Can you imagine? Little Holly, giving that wretched old bitch a dose of her own medicine-I love it! Edward, I will _never_ understand why you wasted your time with Eve. And talk about robbing the craft-matic adjustable bed-that woman is ancient," Alice said with a shudder.

Edward's face was stuck somewhere between horror and awe. Knowing that Eve had unleashed her hostility on Holly had filled him with embarrassment and anger, but hearing that Holly hadn't taken any of her shit almost made him smile. Almost.

He'd hurt Eve pretty badly, all but destroying her relationship with her family. Edward had been pretty heavily involved with Eve's sister, Stella, when they met. Edward left Stella in the dust when he found Eve to be more of a challenge. _ Jesus, I am the world's biggest douche bag-a selfish, slimy bastard._ He reamed himself mentally as the faces of various women he'd hurt, many of whom were at the ball, flashed through his mind. Jessica had been right; those women weren't his ex-girlfriends, they were his victims.

Knowing Alice as well as he did, Edward knew she was sugarcoating what had actually taken place in the ladies room in order to keep him from getting more upset than he already was. With a defeated sigh, Edward squeezed his eyes shut as the image of Holly's hurt face flooded his mind. God only knew what really happened in that bathroom.

Edward was terrified that any chance of Holly reciprocating his love was down the drain. He was happy-proud even-that she hadn't let the older woman walk all over her, but he was sure that Holly had to be disgusted with him after hearing the laundry list of awful things Eve had to say. How could she _not_ be?

Alice snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Hey, quit it. Edward, I know what you're thinking, and you need to stop it right now. Yes, you have some explaining to do about Eve, but don't for one second think that this has to be the end. The way Holly feels about you-I was watching the two of you dance, and it's clear she still thinks you hung the moon.

"Look, you've got an ugly past, but I know you're capable of change. You and Holly are _good_ together, Edward. Right now, you're at a turning point, and I really hope you do the right thing. You need to make Holly understand how being with her has altered your whole perspective, because I can see that it has."

Edward shook his head. "How could she want me now after hearing what Eve had to say? I've blown it for sure," Edward lamented.

Josh suddenly appeared beside them, looking positively worn out, and their conversation halted.

"Hey, honey. What happened? I thought you were dancing with Holly," Alice asked.

Josh's cheeks puffed as he let out a long breath. "She's at the bar waiting for you," he said, looking at Edward. "I think I pissed her off," he admitted.

Alice grabbed Edward's bowtie, roughly pulling him down to her level. "Go to her. Now," she commanded. Wincing, Edward nodded and turned to leave.

"Oh, Edward, your dad said the chaperones are here now. You and Holly are free to leave whenever," Josh announced glumly.

No longer certain of anything, let alone where the night was headed, Edward simply nodded again and left in a daze of uncertainty.

Alice watched as Edward fought his way through the crowded dance floor toward the bar as Josh slipped his arms around her waist. They resumed dancing to the song that had not yet finished.

"So, why is Holly sitting at the bar? What on earth did you do now?" Alice asked with her no-nonsense face.

Josh sighed dejectedly, knowing he should have just kept his mouth shut and enjoyed the dance with his sister. He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. "I may or may not have tried _one more time_ to convince Holly that she could do better than Edward. Don't bother telling me how big of an idiot I am, because I already know; Holly told me so," he said, waiting for Alice's wrath.

"You're damn right you're an idiot! Jesus, can't you be alone with her for five minutes without laying into her? I told you to leave her alone about Edward. She's a big girl, and you're only going to push her away by trying to tell her what to do. Damn it, Josh. You don't understand what she's been through tonight; she really didn't need a heaping dose of your crap on top of everything else," Alice informed him, rubbing her forehead.

"What do you mean 'what she's _been_ through tonight'?" Josh asked, and Alice enlightened him of the drama as the opening notes of "What a Wonderful World" floated around them.

"Just ice water, please," Holly told the young man as she once again took her place at the bar. She turned in her seat and scanned the crowd for Edward but couldn't make him out amongst the vast sea of bodies.

The last thing Holly needed was another lecture from her brother about Edward, but out it came not thirty seconds after they started dancing. With her emotions already heightened and on edge from the numerous confrontations she'd been party to that evening, Holly had been all too quick to shut him up.

She'd cut him off mid-sentence, telling Josh to knock off the overprotective big brother crap. Holly looked him square in the eye and reminded him that she'd been taking care of herself for quite some time and hadn't been looking for a father figure when she came to Seattle to find him. When Josh opened his mouth to argue, Holly ended things, telling him to mind his own damn business and to not worry about hers. She walked away, leaving him stranded on the dance floor.

Holly was about two seconds from falling completely over the edge of insanity when Edward appeared beside her. He looked more nervous and uncomfortable than ever.

"Hey," he greeted awkwardly. "Everything all right?"

A bubble of laughter escaped Holly as she thought about the utterly ridiculous chain of events that had taken place since they first stepped foot into the museum. "It's been an interesting night. To be honest, I'm ready for it to be over," she said, poking at her ice water with a straw.

"Well, Josh said the chaperones are here. If you'd like to go back to my place, we're free to leave," Edward said, mentally preparing himself for the kick in the crotch that he truly deserved now that Holly knew the ugly truth about him.

"Oh, thank God," Holly said, eager to be just about anywhere else in the world. Edward tentatively offered his hand to help her off the barstool, and Holly didn't hesitate to take it.

Edward sighed in relief when Holly laced her fingers through his and tightened her grip on his hand as they headed for the exit. They reached the lobby and he retrieved her wrap from the elderly clerk at the coat check, telling Holly to wait inside where it was warm while he arranged for the valet to bring his car around.

Once Edward was gone, Holly pulled the beautiful silk wrap tightly around her shoulders and turned to take one last look into the ballroom. She scanned the room, mentally bidding farewell to the hideous night, and her eyes landed on Jacob Black. Their eyes met, and she realized that he'd been watching her. Jake smiled in amusement and shook his head at her, shrugging his shoulders as if to say, _Well, I _tried_ to warn you_.

Holly glared at him and turned away just as Edward returned for her. With a collective sigh of relief, they left the ball hand-in-hand. Edward's apartment building was mere minutes from the museum, and the ride home was short but quiet. Both were deep inside their own minds, and the atmosphere in the car was thick and charged with tension. When they pulled into the underground garage, Edward parked the Vanquish in its designated spot and ran around to the passenger side to help Holly.

Mike pulled in right behind them, and he and Edward exchanged pleasantries and a handshake before they headed inside. The elevator ride was quiet, as well, and they clung to opposite sides of the small space. It was as if their thoughts were an intricately convoluted maze, and they were both quietly trying to figure out how to meet in the middle. Edward was trying to figure out if there was any way to salvage his original plan, although it was looking rather dismal, as Holly desperately tried to sort out her own options.

Once inside the apartment, Edward immediately distracted himself with busywork, turning on lights, starting up the fireplace, and studiously adjusting the thermostat. Needing a distraction of her own, Holly followed him into the living room, setting her wrap and clutch on the back of the couch. She was dying to change into something more comfortable and take off the ridiculous heels Alice had insisted she wear.

Once Edward finally settled, Holly approached him. "I'd really like to get out of this dress. Do you have anything I could change into?"

Edward blinked twice before her question finally sank in. "Oh, of course, follow me," he said, leading her up the stairs. He clung to the banister when they reached the top. "My room is the last door on the right. There are T-shirts and boxer shorts in the top two dresser drawers. That's all I have to offer," he said with an apologetic half-smile.

Despite how badly he wanted to follow her into his room and assist with removing her dress, Edward wasn't sure where they stood anymore. Instead, he turned awkwardly and headed back down the stairs. He'd been fantasizing about undressing her for weeks, but his logic was telling him he would have to put a pin in that idea for now-possibly forever.

Holly walked to Edward's room as quickly as her shoes would allow. Shutting the door, she turned on the light and took a look around. It smelled of Edward, clean and fresh with the slightest hint of musk. Holly smiled.

His bedroom was as normal as anyone else's, although she didn't quite know what she had been expecting. The walls were cream-colored and mostly bare, aside from a large abstract painting that took up much of the space above his headboard. The bed itself was draped in mocha-colored sheets and a chocolate duvet, and the furniture was a deep, rich espresso. Overall, it was simple, clean, and modern.

Pulling open the dresser drawer, Holly yanked out the first T-shirt she put her hand on. She quickly unzipped and stepped out of her dress. Not wanting to wrinkle Alice's very expensive gift to her, Holly looked around for a place to hang it. She noticed Edward's robe hanging from a hook on the bathroom door and hesitantly hung the dress next to it.

Holly stared at the robe for a moment, and she just couldn't help herself. In a moment of shameless temptation, Holly pressed her face into the thick, blue terrycloth, inhaling deeply. The scent of freshly washed Edward clung to every fiber of the plush garment, and she groaned with arousal before surreptitiously glancing over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't being watched. Getting caught sniffing Edward's clothes like an animal in heat, would be a perfectly embarrassing grand finale to her exceptionally shitty night.

Laughing at the thought, Holly hiked her feet up one at a time, nearly crying out in ecstasy as she peeled the too-tight heels off her sore feet. In only her bra and underwear, Holly grabbed the T-shirt and made her way into Edward's bathroom. She pulled the borrowed shirt over her head and rinsed her mouth with the Scope that was setting out on the counter. Resting her palms on the hard granite, Holly leaned forward and stared at herself in the mirror. She'd spent the better part of the night contemplating everything she'd been warned about, everything she'd been told, and Holly knew she'd arrived at a crossroads. None of her immediate choices were ideal, but the truth of the matter was, she had three options.

The first option was to ignore the warnings and turn a blind eye to everything that made her uncomfortable. She could stick with the status quo and cling to the hope that Edward _wasn't_ playing her like everyone said he was. Holly made a face at herself in the mirror, knowing she was smarter than that. She couldn't just close her eyes and pretend the truth didn't exist. Option one was quickly discarded.

The second option was exactly the opposite. Holly could wise up, realizing that everyone was right to warn her, and make a run for the hills. But would fleeing the situation completely, without even giving Edward a chance to prove himself, be any better than sticking around and at least _trying_ to see where things went? Edward had redeemed himself in every other way so far; would he suddenly turn on her now when he could have had her so many times before?

It seemed to Holly that the Edward everyone else knew would have taken advantage of her willingness a long time ago. Instead, he was playing the gentleman card to a T-to the point where Holly often felt like she was the one trying to take advantage of _him_. She sighed, rolling her neck to ease the tension in her muscles. The thought of quitting Edward cold turkey was enough to turn her stomach, and Holly knew that option two was another dead end.

Option three was the only one that made any sense to her and, at that moment, it was her only hope. If everyone's warnings were right and she was screwed either way, Holly figured she might as well enjoy the time she _did_ have with Edward. She was tired of waiting around for Edward to take things further, tired of him tippy-toeing around her virginity, and tired of listening to everyone else's opinion on the matter.

Whatever was between the two of them was about her and Edward, and at the end of the day, no one else mattered. At twenty-three years old, Holly was a grown woman, and Edward had ignited a hunger inside of her that she knew only he could satisfy. She was captivated by him in every way and, for the moment, she knew Edward was into her just the same. So why not just enjoy it while it lasted?

Holly took a deep breath and cocked an eyebrow at her reflection. "Carpe diem_,_" she murmured, deciding that option three was the only way to go. The rest would be up to the fates to decide.

Leaning over, Holly shimmied her breasts up as far as they would go in her strapless push-up bra. The thin, gray T-shirt must have fit Edward's muscled torso very snugly, as it was tight enough on Holly to nicely hug the swell of her hips and accentuate her waist. Smoothing the fabric over her body, she decided it was short, but not so short that she would be embarrassed-by her appearance, at least-if things ended badly.

Next, she focused on her hair. Removing a score of bobby pins, Holly shook out her waves and gave them a fluff, satisfied with how they fell around her face. She was as ready as she was ever going to get.

The decision that she would take Edward anyway she could get him had been easy. Still, Holly clung to the small shred of hope that, when all was said and done and she gave Edward what he'd been resisting for so long, he would turn _to_ her instead of away from her.

Edward felt like he couldn't breathe. He yanked his bowtie loose and opened the collar of his shirt. Standing in front of the tall living room windows, Edward stared out at the glowing skyline as fear mixed with anxiety and anticipation coursed through his veins. How was he supposed to tell Holly that he loved her after the night she'd had? First Eve, then Jacob-Edward shuddered to think about the awful things she'd been told by either of them. He wouldn't be a bit surprised if she ran full-speed out the door when, and if, he ever got the chance to spit out what he wanted to say.

As he stared at himself in the glass, Edward's thoughts suddenly focused. _Fuck it_, he thought. Although he could potentially lose Holly altogether by crossing the line he was preparing to cross, he had everything in the world to gain; it was a risk he was willing to take.

He'd known from the beginning that the night could only go one of two ways. The things Holly had been made aware of, were things he eventually would have had to tell her anyway. It didn't change what he felt; he still loved her. _If she runs, I'm an asshole and I deserve it. If she stays, then miracles do happen, and I'm one lucky son of a bitch_.

A movement behind him caught his attention, and Edward's eyes focused on Holly's reflection. Their eyes met in the glass and, at that moment, it was only him, only her, only them. As he stared at her, his false confidence vanished. She was so soft, so beautiful.

More than anything, Edward wanted to be able to just walk up to her and touch her freely-her hair, her face, her body. He felt the burning need to have her in his arms and feel every inch of her against him.

Taking a deep breath, Edward turned to face her, letting his eyes sweep down her body. The old Harvard T-shirt clung to her body, hugging her curves, and Edward had never seen anything so sexy in all his life.

"Hi," Holly greeted softly.

_Time to jump,_ Edward thought. After taking another deep breath, he went for it. "Holly, I know what happened tonight with Eve. Alice told me all about it, and I want you to know that I'm so sorry about everything. I wish I could tell you that none of it's true, but I would be lying, and I don't ever want to lie to you." His words rushed out, one sentence blurring into the next, as he raked both hands through his hair in frustration.

He knew he needed to slow down in order to untangle his thoughts but, for the life of him, he just couldn't stop. "This is why I've been so hesitant around you. I've done _horrible_, _awful_ things to people who didn't deserve it. For so long I only cared about myself-what _I_ needed, what _I_ wanted."

"Edward, sto-" Holly started in a calming voice, attempting to ease his obvious anguish, but his mind was too caught up to notice.

Edward ranted on, pacing an abrupt line in the carpet with hands flailing. "It's really fucked up-_I'm_ really fucked up! I've been a wreck for years, only I didn't realize it. I didn't _care_. And then you came along, and everything's changed now. I can't even imagine what you must think-and then you were at the bar with Jake, and God only knows-"

"Edward!" Holly yelled, silencing him. "Just stop! Right now, I don't care about _any_ of that. I don't want to keep doing this with you. This back and forth _bullshit_ is driving me insane. I'm so tired of thinking you want me one minute, and being punched in the face by your rejections and insecurities the next." Holly crossed the room, quickly closing the gap between them. Grabbing either end of his bowtie, she pulled him roughly to her. "Do you want me?" she asked point blank.

Edward was stunned. He'd been so consumed with what he'd been trying to say, he wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly. He couldn't fathom what Holly was even asking him. Edward sputtered indignantly before finally finding his voice. "Of course I want you. I've never wanted anyone more. I just don't see how you could possibly want _me_."

"Well, I do. So stop _torturing_ both of us and kiss me already," Holly demanded, pulling his face to hers and hungrily claiming his mouth.

Conflict momentarily forgotten, Edward grunted and eagerly opened his mouth to her urgent tongue, reciprocating the kiss with equal fervor. Pulling her closer to him, his hands ran smoothly down her sides and firmly squeezed the soft cheeks of her butt. Holly moaned with pleasure, causing Edward to hazily regain his senses. "Holly, wait a minute. I need to t-"

Holly cut him off, her chest heaving. "No. No more waiting. I _want_ you, Edward. I've wanted you for a long time, and I can feel that you want me, too. Please," she pleaded, staring up at him, her eyes flashing with desire.

Edward was so confused, but more turned on in that moment than he could ever remember being. He gasped when Holly slid her hand down his stomach and squeezed his rapidly hardening cock through his pants.

Unable to deny himself, and unwilling to deny Holly any longer, Edward pushed his hips forward, pressing himself into her hand. He pulled her face back to his, and his hands ran down the sides of her neck and over her pert breasts. They roamed her back, making their way to Holly's ass once more. Squeezing and kneading her roughly, Edward hoisted her up around his waist and she moaned again, wrapping her legs around him and grinding herself against his length. The shock of pleasure the contact sent through her entire body, had her sighing heavily against Edward's mouth.

Edward's jaw fell open, and he groaned aloud at the heat that was pressed against him in just the right spot. Edward staggered blindly in the direction of his room with Holly wrapped tightly around him.

"Where are we going?" Holly asked breathily as his lips roamed her face and neck.

Edward paused and looked at her, his brow furrowed. "Upstairs. Do you honestly think I'm going to make love to you for the first time on the living room floor?" he asked, and Holly squealed as he continued their migration with even more haste, pressing his lips to hers once again.

Along the journey to the top of the stairs, Edward stumbled twice and nailed his little toe on the wooden leg of the couch. He also managed to ram Holly's hip into the edge of the banister in his heated anticipation. Limping, but finally up the stairs, Edward reluctantly pulled his lips away from Holly, craning his head around her to make sure the rest of the path was clear.

During the respite, Holly attacked his perfect jaw with her mouth. She tugged on his earlobe with her teeth and planted soft, wet kisses behind his ear. The feel of her teeth and tongue against one of his most sensitive spots was almost more than he could bear, and Edward roughly kicked his bedroom door open once they reached the end of the hall.

The lights of the city outside his window, along with the full moon, filled the room with a soft, blue glow. Once they were inside, Edward set Holly on her feet and took a moment to catch his breath. "So beautiful," he murmured, gazing down at her.

The mood shifted, and the overzealous intensity of the last several minutes faded, replaced by sweet anticipation. Holly could feel her pulse quicken as the realization of what was undoubtedly going to happen set in. With a pounding heart, she raised her hands to Edward's chest. His arms hung loosely at his sides as she worked the buttons of his shirt until it fell open.

She pushed the fabric over his shoulders and he shrugged it off completely, letting it fall to the ground behind him. Holly's fingertips trailed lightly over the smooth skin of his chest, followed by her lips. She worked from one side to the other and back again. Stopping at his sternum, where she could feel his heartbeat against her mouth. Holly looked up at him and her breath hitched at the wanton hunger in his expression. The moonlight made his wild, green eyes shine almost unnaturally.

Holly shuddered and raised her arms when Edward's fingers slithered under her shirt, lifting it higher and higher as his fingertips traced lightly up her sides. Tossing the T-shirt carelessly behind him, Edward wrapped an arm around her waist and walked her backwards toward the bed. He gently laid Holly down and leaned over her, taking in the sight of her near-naked form.

Discarding his pants but leaving his boxers on, Edward crawled his way to her. He hovered over her body, and his mouth eagerly claimed hers, tasting anywhere he could reach. Holly closed her eyes, letting herself get caught up in the feeling of his lips running up and down her neck. Goosebumps covered her entire body and tightened her nipples.

The muscles deep in Holly's belly clenched reflexively as Edward navigated her upper torso. His mouth ran a circuit, traveling from one shoulder, across her clavicle, up her neck, and teasing her mouth before starting down the other side in the same manner. Sliding one hand between her shoulder blades, Edward lifted Holly slightly, while his other hand snaked under her and adeptly unclasped her bra. He laid her back down and tossed the offensive garment from between them.

Every nerve ending in Holly's body reacted and she moaned involuntarily when Edward planted his mouth softly but hungrily on her breast, covering her nipple with his lips and tongue. She wiggled beneath him and arched her back, pushing her chest against his mouth and hand.

As Edward continued his sensual assault, Holly discovered the true meaning of the term _erogenous zone_. It seemed her breasts and her groin were directly connected to one another, and she gasped again as his teeth lightly pulled on her left nipple. She pressed her hips firmly against Edward's as another large jolt of sensation shot directly to her center. She was becoming increasingly ready for him and could feel the cool dampness of her panties pressing against her.

Edward inhaled sharply as the warm, moist silk of her panties brushed against him. Groaning, he kissed her mouth roughly and squeezed her breast before rolling away to retrieve a condom. Holly craned her neck to watch in amazement as he quickly kicked off his boxers, pulled a condom out of the nightstand drawer, and expertly rolled it down his thick shaft.

_There is no freaking way,_ Holly thought, taking in Edward's full size. She looked away quickly, hoping to conceal her shock, when Edward rolled over to find his way back to her. Once again, he climbed on top of her, resting his weight on his elbows and covering her body completely with his. Holly placed her legs on either side of him and Edward settled his hips onto hers, pressing himself against her swollen clit before settling at her panty-clad entrance. Holly sighed with pleasure and her clitoris throbbed as the scrap of fabric pressed against it.

Breathing heavily, Edward's lips were at her neck, and he spoke between kisses, "Holly, baby, this might be uncomfortable."

Holly's hands trailed lightly up his back as she turned to look at him, smiling softly. "I know. I'm okay," she whispered encouragingly.

Edward registered her sincerity and nodded, rubbing himself up and down the length of her. "If it hurts, please don't be afraid to-"

"Edward, just do it already," she interrupted, panting in frustration. The teasing, empty feeling of him _against_ her and not _in_ her was surely more excruciating than the sting of the first push.

"Okay." He flashed a crooked, amused smile. "I'm glad you think you're ready for me," he teased. Edward leaned onto his side, and he trailed his fingers down her neck to her chest and over her stomach, finally resting on her delicious mound. Firmly grasping the front of her panties in his hand, Edward smirked at her and jerked his arm back roughly with a throaty grunt.

The rough action barely jolted Holly at all, yet she looked on in shock as Edward held up a shred of black fabric in his fist before tossing it to the side with a cocky grin. She almost laughed but cried out instead when Edward plunged two of his fingers deep inside her.

Edward's eyes rolled back into his head. "Jesus Christ, Holly. You're so wet for me," he growled, his breath shuddering as his cock pressed firmly against her thigh.

"Please, Edward. I need you," Holly whimpered, writhing against the palm of his hand.

Leaning over her, he adjusted his hips once again between her legs. Edward rested his forearms on either side of her head and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I need you, too. In so many ways," he told her, his voice soft. And with one hard thrust, he was deep inside of Holly.

Holly shot up, muffling her yelp of pain against his shoulder. The sting of her teeth against his flesh and her nails digging into his back as she clung to him, highly intensified Edward's own pleasure. He took several deep breaths, attempting to regain some sort of control over his senses, but Edward couldn't focus on anything at all, aside from the feeling of being buried in Holly's insanely-tight pussy.

He groaned but remained still, letting Holly's body get used to the intrusion. She finally let him go, relaxing into the pillows beneath her. Edward was quick to comfort her, nuzzling and kissing her neck. "I've dreamed of you for so long," he murmured, making his way to her lips as Holly's hands grabbed handfuls of his hair, hastily accepting his mouth again.

When her body finally got over the shock of being completely filled by Edward, Holly wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed herself against him. Edward took his cue and began a slow, steady rhythm, allowing almost the full length of his cock to slide out before filling her again, over and over.

Holly quickly picked up the flow and rocked with him, meeting him at each tantalizingly slow thrust. When she grazed Edward's ear with her tongue and whispered his name, Edward quickened his pace. Holly lifted her lower back, meeting his hips and putting her whole body into the beat of the rhythm.

When he felt he was close to losing it, Edward snaked his arms around Holly's back and pulled her onto his lap as he sat back on his heels. Holly cried out as the new position caused Edward to slide deeper, overcome once again by the glorious sensation. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kept her eyes on his eyes as she rocked back and forth against him. It wasn't long before she felt her insides coil and her breathing accelerate. A strange warmth was stirring in Holly's core and her sex seemed to have a pulse of it's own as pleasure coursed through her veins and clouded her mind.

"Edward, I-ah," she mewled with incoherent desperation.

Grasping her back tightly with one arm, he wound his free hand into her hair, pressing her forehead to his. "Baby, I'm right here," he reassured breathily.

Feeling her silky walls tighten around him, Edward knew she was close. He ran his hands down her sides and swirled his hips against hers as he slid her up and down his engorged member. Holly was completely intoxicated as she rose and fell upon him. Sensation took over completely, and she sighed loudly, grabbing a handful of her own hair as she tightened around him.

Edward quickly guided them back so Holly's shoulders were resting on the bed once again and his impassioned thrusting grew primal and more intense. "Let go, Holly. Don't fight it," he growled as he pounded against her.

Panting fiercely, Holly thrashed her head from side to side before her whole body stiffened and her back bowed off the mattress. She cried out Edward's name one last time and her body clenched and shuddered violently as she was engulfed by wave after wave of all-consuming pleasure.

Watching Holly come completely undone was all it took, and Edward groaned loudly, tumbling into oblivion right along with her. Bright lights flashed behind his eyelids and his ears rang loudly as he came; he couldn't remember ever experiencing such an earth-shattering orgasm.

Totally spent, Edward collapsed against Holly. After several long minutes, their panting subsided and Holly winced when Edward pulled out of her. He rolled to the side of the bed, discarding the condom and cleaning himself up before falling onto his back, pulling Holly to his side.

Safely in the crook of his arm, Holly curled up to him with an exhausted smile on her face, and Edward held her tighter. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, happy to know that she was as satisfied and content as he was. Pulling the blanket over her shoulder, Edward stroked her hair and rubbed his lips lightly against her forehead. It wasn't long before her breathing fell into a slow, even rhythm and the hand that had been rubbing circles on his chest went limp.

"I love you, Holly," he whispered hoarsely against her hair before he lost his own battle with exhaustion and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

A repetitive, muffled ringing stirred Edward from his dreams, and a tired glance at the alarm clock showed it to be much too early for anyone to be calling. He had no idea where his phone was, but the ringing kept up insistently from somewhere in the room. When Holly stirred and stretched beside him, Edward quickly forgot about the intrusion from his phone altogether. He propped his head up and smiled as he watched her wake.

Opening her eyes to the muted, gray light of another rainy morning, Holly yawned and stretched her limbs. Flinching at the pain that still lingered between her legs, she smiled. It was the best pain Holly ever experienced. She turned to find Edward grinning at her.

"Hey, doll" Edward greeted, his voice gravely and full of sleep.

Holly rolled over until her chest was pressed against his, and Edward's arm wrapped tightly around her back, holding her to him. "Hey, yourself. It feels so early; what time is it?" she asked yawning.

"It's just after seven. My phone woke us up. How are you feeling?" Edward asked with a hint of hesitation. He never did get to say what he wanted before his hormones took over completely, and he hoped their night together was as beautiful and meaningful for her as it was for him.

Holly grinned lazily up at him. "I feel mighty fine today. Shouldn't you get that?" she asked, regarding the incessant ringing disturbing her peaceful moment.

Edward rolled them over until he was on top of Holly. "I'm not so worried about it," he said, and Holly sighed as he nuzzled her neck. Edward paused and raised his head to listen for a moment. He smiled. "See-it stopped. Whoever it was must've found something better to do."

He picked up where he left off on Holly's neck, and she squirmed and giggled when his tongue teased the sensitive spot behind her ear. The phone rang again, and Edward groaned impatiently against her.

Holly shoved him away playfully. "Answer your phone, Edward. I need a minute in the bathroom, anyway," she said and rolled away, climbing off the bed. She yelped when Edward swatted her bare butt. Holly snatched the sheet off his naked body in return, wrapping it around herself and sashaying away before he could come after her.

Her trip to the bathroom was horribly uncomfortable, and Holly wanted nothing more than to soak in a hot bath and let her body heal itself. Still, she couldn't keep the smile off her face as she stood in front of the mirror, rinsing her mouth with minty wash. Holly felt different. It seemed so cliché, but she really did feel like a woman.

Eager to get back to Edward, Holly ran her fingers through her tangled hair and left the bathroom, hoping he would be ready and waiting for her. When she walked back into the bedroom, all the lights were on and Edward was half-dressed. He was pacing wildly back and forth with his phone stuck to his ear. When Holly registered the look of absolute horror on his face, she froze.

"Josh, I can't understand you." Edward was truly panicked. "You're going to have to put someone else on the phone; Josh, stop-let me talk to Carlisle," he instructed, his tone was firm but gentle at the same time. When he turned and noticed Holly behind him, Edward motioned to a stack of clothes he set out on his bed and nodded at her solemnly, insinuating she needed to get dressed.

Trying her best to remain calm until she had a reason to freak out, Holly quickly threw on the gray T-shirt she had worn briefly the previous night, as well as a pair of black track pants. Her eyes followed Edward as he frantically darted back and forth across the large room.

"Dad! What the _fuck_? How did this happen?" Edward paused briefly while Carlisle told him something, and Holly's fists balled tightly at her sides as she tried not to think of the worst of possibilities.

Edward pulled a handful of his hair, grimacing in pain. "We're on our way," he said into the phone before shoving it into the pocket of his dark jeans.

"What's going on?" Holly asked immediately as she hurriedly pulled her high heels onto her feet. She looked absolutely ridiculous, but fashion wasn't her top priority at the moment.

Edward didn't answer her. He was too busy muttering unintelligibly to himself while pacing about the room, gathering his things. Holly watched in anticipation as he pulled on a faded T-shirt along with a fleece jacket and shoved his wallet into his back pocket. He walked into what must have been the closet and cursed loudly a few times, emerging with a ball cap on his head. The look on his face was doomed and devastated.

Quickly rolling the waistband of the giant pants a few times so she wouldn't trip, Holly threw herself in Edward's path, insisting that he stop and answer her. "Edward, you tell me what's happened, right now! What's wrong with my brother?" she demanded, already shaking with fear.

Edward's expression was tortured as he swallowed around the lump in his throat, not wanting to believe the words he was forced to speak. "Alice is gone."


	14. Chapter 14

Fourteen

The car ride to Josh's house was tense but quiet. Edward made it clear that he had no more information about the situation, other than Alice was missing. Holly clung to the armrest as Edward flew out of the city and through the otherwise quiet streets of suburbia. When he came to a screeching halt in the circular front drive, they both scrambled to get out of the vehicle. Holly had to run as fast as she could to keep up with Edward, her efforts greatly impeded by the spiky heels she'd thrown on in her haste to leave his apartment.

Her heart clenched painfully when she finally made it to the kitchen and saw the broken faces of the Cullens. Jasper held his crying mother in his arms while Emmett paced furiously and Rose sat in a haze of shock. She was as still as a statue aside from one arm which absently rocked her daughter, Sophie, in a sleeper stationed next to her.

"What happened?" Edward asked, looking to Josh.

Esme tore herself away from Jasper and flew into Edward's arms as soon as she noticed him. "My baby," she cried, and a tight swell rapidly expanded in his chest.

Josh sat at the breakfast table, lost in a world of his own devastation. Turning his bloodshot, catatonic eyes to Edward, he spoke in a daze. "Aro has Alice."

Esme wept quietly against Edward's chest and he wrapped his arms tighter around her, clenching his fists as a fresh batch of adrenaline pumped through him. "What? How? How did this happen? Dad . . ." He looked to Carlisle for logic.

Holly crossed the room and threw her arms around Josh's midsection. He hesitated for a second before locking his arms around her, as well.

Carlisle moved to speak, but Josh stopped him and spoke over his sister's head. "Let me, Carlisle. This is my fault; I'll tell them," he said and stood up, releasing Holly.

Carlisle nodded and gave him his space, recognizing the penance behind his anguish.

"It happened this morning," Josh began quietly. "Alice went down to the lobby of the hotel to settle our bill and never came back. Thirty-five minutes. I waited thirty-five minutes before I went down to check on her." He paused, needing a moment to swallow the scorching burn of the truth. "By the time I made it down to the front desk to see what was taking so long, she was gone. Edward, they have her. Aro has her. If I'd been ready to leave instead of lying in bed, we could have gone down to the lobby and left _together_." His voice was thick and he pressed his fists against his brow.

Edward couldn't believe what he was hearing. "How can you be sure it's Aro?" he asked, refusing to jump to such devastating conclusions.

When Josh was unable to answer, Carlisle stepped around the counter and held out small piece of paper. "There was a note at the front desk when he got there. Watch your fingerprints; it still needs to be dusted and examined," he said.

Edward stared at the note, gingerly grabbing the corners with cautious fingers. He read the words, absorbing its message. Barely registering as Holly's heels clacked across the hardwood floor, Edward jumped when she placed a timid hand on his arm and read over his shoulder. Four ominous words, handwritten in perfect cursive, jumped off the thick, white paper. _Quid Pro Quo ~Aro_

"This for that," Edward quietly muttered. "Alice for what? What does he want?" His jaw tensed as his eyes lingered on the signature. _The cocky bastard signed it!_ his mind raged. He'd spent many days over the past year in the same room as Aro; he easily recognized his handwriting. Even without the signature, the whole thing reeked of Volturi. His hands shook with great effort to keep from ripping the note to shreds.

Carlisle carefully took the note from Edward. "We don't know what he wants, but it's safe to assume Alice is alive," he said with conviction. "Aro is using her to get something else. We just ... don't know what that is, yet. We'll have to wait and see," Carlisle said.

He would remain strong until the very end but, glancing at his boys, he felt his heart rip to shreds. If his worst nightmares were coming true, and the Volturi's _were _involved, Carlisle knew Aro would be out for nothing less than blood.

Edward turned his eyes to Josh again, watching the tears fall silently from his brother-in-law's face. Anger was Edward's initial reaction. The joy of the previous night felt like eons ago. The rug had been ripped out from underneath him and everything had changed in an instant. "Why are we waiting? We need to do something _now_!" he said, feeling his panic building to a crescendo.

"I pulled some strings with Detective Andrews to obtain a copy of the security tapes from the hotel. He's on his way with them now. Don't worry; we'll get a lead. It's just going to take some time," Carlisle told him with confidence.

"But, Alice doesn't have time! They could be at the airport this very second to take her out of the country. They could go anywhere. You know his resources and how well he uses them. If he leaves the country with her, our chances of finding Alice go straight to hell. We have to find them now and end this before it's too late," Edward said, pulling his keys out and frantically pondering his next move.

Carlisle and Esme exchanged sad, weary glances and Holly stepped back to give them space, not knowing what else to do.

Esme stepped in front of Edward, grabbing his shoulders. "Sweetheart, we are doing _everything_ in our power. We'll get Alice back, if it's the last thing we do. And once we find out where she is, I'll be the first one out the door to get her," She said, resolve clear in her voice as she wrapped Edward in another hug.

Edward didn't resist. He stood bewildered in his mother's arms, wondering how he was ever going to wrap his mind around the madness. There was a knock at the door and Emmett let in Detective Andrews, who held up a disc. Josh shot up from the table, eager to see the footage from the hotel. Edward released Esme and joined his dad and brothers to analyze the tapes.

Holly stood on the outside, looking in. She felt so helpless, knowing there was nothing she could do for Josh or Edward, or anyone else at that moment. Needing to get away and process things on her own, she left quietly and went upstairs.

As Holly walked down the hall to her room, she passed Josh and Alice's room, pausing when she smelled the slight traces of Alice's signature perfume that still lingered in the air. Quietly, she slipped inside their door and her eyes immediately fell on the picture of Alice that Josh kept on his nightstand. The tears she'd been subconsciously holding back welled in her eyes and spilled over.

Sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, Holly stared at the picture that was now in her hands as she wept for Alice. She though about the loss of everyone around her-Alice the sister, Alice the daughter, Alice the faithful, loving wife, and Alice the mother-to-be. Her absence was a giant hole ripped in the fabric of the family, and Holly took the time to mourn for each of them.

Crying and praying for a miracle, Holly's stress reflexes took over and exhaustion consumed her. She lay on her side, pulling her knees to her chest, and it wasn't long before she allowed sleep to carry her away from the insanity.

The long days stretched into weeks with no further word from Aro regarding Alice's whereabouts. Police traipsed in and out of the house almost daily and the media stationed themselves at the entrance of Josh's gated community, continuing to update the city of the probable high-profile kidnapping. The investigation was in full swing, and the family's despair quickly turned into a one-track, determined drive to figure out where Alice could be to bring her back home. All known residences that the Volturi family kept in the US had been abandoned, and the search turned to Seattle's underground.

Carlisle had spared no expense, offering to pay for any forms necessary to aid the police in their investigation. As days went by, the Cullens were constantly being questioned and introduced to new contacts being brought in as specialists.

Around the house, Holly helped out where she could, keeping the coffee going, running errands with her chaperone, Mike, and mostly, freeing Rose and Emmett up from Sophie and keeping her away from the mayhem as much as possible. If Holly wasn't needed for questioning, she and Sophie would play for hours or lay and watch a movie until the darling girl would fall asleep on her chest. She was glad to help however she could, but being inside a house filled with gloom had taken its toll, and Holly soon began feeling hopeless and claustrophobic.

It was torture, watching everyone around her suffer day after day, knowing she was helpless to comfort them. The most gut-wrenching person to watch, besides her brother, was Esme. She had been strong and confident in the beginning, but as the weeks went by without a budge in the investigation, her confidence began to crumble away. Depression overwhelmed Esme, and she seemed eternally lost in her own thoughts. She spent a lot of time in Alice's room and even began decorating the room Alice had designated as a nursery before she disappeared.

One afternoon, after watching his wife deteriorate over a pile of Alice's old artwork, Carlisle decided he had to do something to help her. His own hands were tied with the investigation, but he was desperate to pull Esme from her downward spiral.

He knew Holly had good intentions but could see that being locked up in the house most of the day was making her stir-crazy. Since Esme was truly fond of Holly, Carlisle decided to approach her with a task that he hoped would benefit everyone. He needed Holly to get Esme out of the house for at least a few hours every day to get her mind on something other than the loss of her only daughter. He truly feared the grief and wondering would destroy her.

Holly jumped at the chance to help Carlisle, and he was able to talk Esme into taking her to the office to get some much needed work done in Alice's absence. The plan was for Esme to take over Alice's specific job duties since they were familiar to her, while Holly kept busy with the endless task of filing.

It was difficult to get Esme to focus on much of anything and Holly often found her seated at Alice's desk, staring out the window. She had to find ways to engage Esme and would ask her to explain the most basic of job duties over and over. Esme would tune in to answer any question Holly had but always wound up back at her spot by the window.

Despite Holly's marginal progress with Esme, she found great relief in being at the office. She was eager to lose herself in any task she could get her hands on, and the monotonous work really did help to keep her mind off the oppressive atmosphere of the house.

Due to the presence of so much media surrounding Alice's disappearance, both Edward and Jasper had taken to staying at the house instead of going home at night. Although they were in the same house together every day, Edward and Holly rarely interacted. Edward was stuck in investigation mode, with a one-track mind-getting his sister back-and that left very little room for anything else. He did his best to offer a gentle squeeze to Holly's shoulder or a quick kiss on the head if he was passing by and she was within range, but he couldn't lend himself to anything outside the task at hand.

At night, when he was cold and alone, Edward would think about Holly. Things between them couldn't be further from where they were the night of the ball, and yet he couldn't bring himself to focus on his relationship with Holly while things with Alice were such a mess. He knew the distance had grown between them over the past few weeks, but he wasn't sure how to change it. He craved reassurance and thought many times about going to Holly's room just to lay with her and feel her warmth, but it'd been so long since they'd even had a conversation about anything other than his sister or the investigation. Edward was back at square one with not knowing where they stood.

On Julyfourth, almost two months after Alice vanished, Holly joined the Cullen siblings on the back patio to watch the fireworks explode over the sound. Josh was in bed, having succumbed to exhaustion, and it was just herself, the three brothers, and Rosalie. Holly was on her second beer and enjoying the numbness it provided when Edward's arm draped lazily across the back of her chair and his thumb absently rubbed circles on her shoulder. The show ended with a very grand finale and everyone was silent as the smoke-filled sky turned dark again.

"I wish Alice were here," Rosalie said quietly. "It's not the same without her here to drag us down to the waterfront so we can watch the fireworks and yell at the drunks. This was always her favorite holiday."

"It still is, baby. She's out there somewhere, and we'll find her," Emmett said, pressing his lips to his wife's head before downing the rest of his beer. "Let's just take comfort in knowing that whoever she's with, she's giving them the what for. I know my sister-she's got this. Pregnant Alice? Please-I almost feel sorry for the poor bastards," he joked, effectively lightening the mood, prompting a smile from his wife and quiet laughter all around.

"I just wish she were here with us," Rose whispered, deftly wiping a wayward tear from her cheek.

Jasper handed Emmett a fresh beer from the cooler he had been resting his feet on. "She sure is missing a lot around here," he said, trying to lighten the mood. "Like Sophie's first steps and the Mariners pitching a perfect game. And let's not forget Holly, careening through her first walk of shame like a bat out of hell in Edward's clothes, purple high-heels, and freshly-fucked hair."

Holly almost spit her beer out and everyone else around her laughed. Even Edward was grinning, although red faced, trying to hold back his laughter.

She shook her head and covered her face with her hand, realizing she must have looked like a raving lunatic. "Thank you for the visual, Jasper" she mumbled but finally laughed along with them.

He held up his hands in defense. "You looked like a crazy glue-sniffer-just saying."

Edward held Holly's hand and kept her close the rest of that night. It felt nice to laugh again after so long. Their party eventually broke up and everyone went their separate ways while Edward helped Holly recycle the bottles and tidy the kitchen. He wasn't ready for the brief respite to end.

Things grew quiet as they worked around each other, and every time Edward handed her a new dish, Holly's fingers would brush against his. When she had to stretch as far as she could to put the casserole dish on the top shelf of the cabinet, Edward walked up behind her, taking the dish from her hand and easily putting it in its place. He was standing as close to Holly as he possibly could without touching her, and she could feel the heat radiating from his body.

Holly's breathing accelerated when his arm wrapped around her stomach and he pressed his lips against her head. She closed her eyes and leaned back against his chest. He wrapped his other arm around her and she reflexively ground her butt against his hardening bulge. Edward groaned and turned her around to face him, needing to feel her lips on his for the first time in a very long time.

Holly's insides tightened at the urgency with which he kissed her and, without a word between them, they hastily made their way to his bedroom. Edward had her out of her clothes in no time and tossed her onto the bed, putting everything he had into making love to her. It was slow but intense and full of their mutual need for connection and release. After the passion and heat of their initial tryst, Edward spent the rest of the night watching Holly come apart again and again at his will as they slipped into a pattern of love and rest.

Eventually, they lay side-by-side on the bed, too tired to move. Edward rolled his head over to look at Holly. Feeling the weight of his stare, Holly turned to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry I've been so ..." he whispered wearily, not knowing how explain where his mind had been the past couple months. "I'm so far gone, Holly. My mind is fried."

Holly shook her head at his apology and rolled closer to him. She grabbed his jaw, kissing him as if she might have to wait another two months to do so again.

Edward rolled them over until he was half on top of her, planting kisses all over her cheeks, eyes, and nose. "God, I miss you," he muttered, hanging his head in exhaustion.

Holly pushed Edward's wild hair away from his eyes and gave him a reassuring smile. "Baby, I'm right here," she whispered, repeating what he told her their first and only other night together.

He drew strength from her sincerity, but the reminder of that night and his empty words filled Edward with a new kind of pain. "I know," he said dolefully.

Scooting down, he laid his ear against her heart and Holly wrapped her arms around his head, stroking his hair until he fell asleep against her.

Good days like that were extremely rare and miles apart. The Cullens spent most days researching everything they could possibly find about the Volturi family, though there wasn't much they didn't already know, having been in litigation with them for the last year.

One thing that kept returning to the table was the fact that Aro and his brothers were from Italy. There was a very large chance that they fled to safer soil and took Alice with them, knowing the limits of international justice. Although they had a possible lead of where they might go, it didn't make things any easier.

The Volturi family tree was deeply rooted all throughout northern Italy, and Alice could have been in any one of the dozens of cities where they were known to keep residence. If they were out of the country, it meant there was nothing Carlisle or the police could do to legally seize access to any of the homes. That led to the possibility of a covert operation in their future. Carlisle insisted it would only be a last-ditch effort if they received something from Aro that gave them no other options.

On days when Holly didn't see Sophie or go to the office with Esme, she would run. She would grab Mike and head to one of the many parks Seattle had to offer. Mike was a good sport about it. Being an ex-marine, he was more than able to keep up as Holly pounded out the miles like she used to back in Forks.

Regaining her stamina was a challenge, but Holly enjoyed pushing herself. She was able to concentrate on the music in her ears and the sights around her, tuning out the rest. Making herself a part of the outside world had become necessary and cathartic for her.

The first day Mike took her to Lincoln Park, was the first day she started running with Jacob Black. She'd just emerged from the woods and stepped foot on the paved path that ran along the beach when she noticed someone waving at her.

Automatically waving back, Holly pulled out her ear buds as Jake changed direction and ran up beside her. She waved off Mike, who was rapidly closing the distance he usually kept, letting him know she knew who Jake was and she was fine.

They slowed to a brisk walk. "Now they're making you use a bodyguard? That's a little over the top, don't you think?" Jake asked, laughing.

"Well, Alice was without one for five minutes, and look what happened to her," Holly replied quietly, picking up her speed again.

"Holly, wait up. I'm sorry," Jake called, catching up to her easily.

Holly looked at him in wearily but slowed to a walk again.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why my first instinct is to be an ass. What happened to Alice is terrible, and we don't have to talk about it if you don't want. We can talk about anything," he said, with a ridiculously toothy grin.

Holly smiled almost reflexively. "All right. If you can keep it light and uncomplicated, I'll let you run with me. You get out of line in any way and you'll be eating my dust," Holly said with a smirk and, with that, she took off again. Jacob just laughed and started after her.

Thus, Holly's I-need-a-normal-human-to-talk-to outlet began and Jacob became her new friend. They spent their time talking about mindless, inconsequential things. Stuff like: what cartoons they grew up watching, bands they like-particularly Muse-and the beauty of La Push. Jacob's family heritage is Quiluete Indian, and he spent a lot of time as a kid visiting the tiny village that was so much a part of Holly's life before she came to Seattle. It was nice to have a link to one of the only things she missed about her old life.

Knowing how much Edward seemed to loath Jacob, the thought that she was doing something wrong would creep up on her occasionally, but Holly would always shove it back down. She and Jacob talked quite a bit about many things, and he was well educated on her infatuation with Edward, as well as their limited encounters since the ball.

Holly didn't like putting Edward up for discussion and took to avoiding her own issues by analyzing Jacob's many problems including, but not limited to, his fear of abandonment, his superiority complex, and his insane fear of rejection. He wasn't the bad boy he pretended to be, however, Holly did have to make herself clear that she was nowhere near interested in him like _that_ after Jacob had attempted to put the moves on her. Surprisingly enough, he listened, and after that, he was just Jake.

During one of their thrice-weekly appointments, Holly got knee-deep into Jake's feelings for a beautiful redhead named Danielle. They'd met at a bar that was popular within the legal community.

"I don't understand. If you like her so much and think she's so great, why are you breaking up with her?" Holly asked, squinting against the rays of the rising sun to glance up at him.

"I told you already. I can't let things go any further. She's great but, at the end of the day, girls are all the same. This is always the point where they start ... _expecting_ things," Jake said, as if the very concept left a foul taste in his mouth. "First, it's my time and attention, and then it's a ring. My time is too valuable; I can't let myself get wrapped up like that. I mean, this is my _life, _Holly."

Holly snorted but held back her laughter. "_God_, you're pretentious." She laughed and shrugged when he looked offended. "I'm sorry. That's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What's not to love? She's beautiful _and _she's an attorney. That means she's actually smart, which is new and exciting for you, right? Look, I'm not saying date her exclusively, but date her wisely. Don't be so quick to shit on her like you do all the others. From what you've been telling me, she's a catch and a major upgrade for you," Holly finished.

"Jeez, who made you the love guru?" Jake replied, knowing she was right.

She laughed again. "I'm not. Jake, you may be an idiot when it comes to love, butyou're a nice guy. And you're kinda hunky, too. You could be the total package if you wanted. It might surprise you to see what the other side is like just this once. I only know what _I_ would want, but if you could stop being such an asshat, you'd be aces.

"Messing with so many girls can't be a good idea forever. Do you want what happened to me at the ball happening to Danielle at some point?" Holly asked, speaking of her confrontation with Eve York that fateful night. She snorted. "Although, that's entirely possible either way, considering your mileage."

Having already been well informed of the ins and outs of what happened that night, Jacob was quick to take the heat off himself. He was tired of Holly taking blows at his personal life, as if hers was any better. "How is it that you know precisely how I should be living my life, but don't have a clue about your own? What exactly is it that _you_ want, Holly? _Edward_?" he asked with a sneer.

Holly didn't answer, but her mood fell as Edward's troubled face filled her mind.

"Come on. Don't go all zombie on me just because I mentioned the _E_ word," Jake said sardonically. "In the last couple weeks, he's locked you out completely and thrown away the key. Jesus, you've spent so much of your time silently waiting for him to come out of whatever hole he's crawled into. I don't get it; how has your relationship with him served you at all? Do you think he's going to snap out of it one day, just like that, and become your prince charming?" Jake looked over when she didn't respond and sighed at the melancholy that consumed her expression. "I'm sorry but what else do you want me to say?"

"I just want to ... help him find some peace or something. I don't know. Can we just drop it? Shit," Holly said, tired of his psychoanalytical bullshit.

Jake scoffed at her indignantly. "Wow. So, let me just wade through all the bullshit here and see if I understand things clearly between us. You can criticize my life on a daily basis and tell me how much of a pretentious ass I am, but the second I make you look at yourself the same way, you're done-game over. Is that what this is?"

Jake wasn't usually this brusque, and Holly gave him a warning glance. "Talking about Edward and what he's going through is a lot different than talking about your sluts du jour, Jacob. And you know it."

He just laughed and held up his hands. "See what I mean? You can dish it out like a champ all day long, but-"

Holly didn't need to hear anymore and sprinted ahead of him. It was their code to cool it any time either one of them went too far with the BS. She couldn't talk to Jake about Edward. The beauty of Jake was the mutual dislike he and Edward harbored for one another. He rarely brought Edward up on his own and, when Holly was with him, she was able to let go of all that was happening around her and just be herself again. She didn't want that to change.

More than anything, Holly wanted to help Edward, but he was too focused on Alice; he had shut down in every other capacity.

It'd been weeks since the night of the fireworks, and she'd hoped their night together would open the door between them, but nothing changed and Edward only seemed to slip further away. Holly spent a lot of her time watching him go through the motions of life like a machine, his spark dwindling more everyday. His skin was pale as he rarely left the house, and what used to be sexy, slightly disheveled hair was now a bronze mop that he was constantly abusing for getting in his way. His eyes were always staring, his mind always going.

"Edward's in a bad place right now. Please just leave it at that," Holly said, hoping to put an end to the conversation when Jake caught up to her again, looking contrite.

"Look, I know how shitty things are for his family, trust me. He rarely comes to the office and when he does, he walks around in a daze. Same with Josh," he said quietly. "The life has totally gone from both of them." Jake looked at Holly and slowed his pace. "Which is why he needs you now more than ever."

"Now you're really confusing me. Didn't you just tell basically tell me I was stupid for wanting to be close to him?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "No, Holly. You're stupid for waiting on _him _to come to you. Stop wasting your time. If he's so consumed that he can't see beyond himself, then you have to be the one to go to him."

Holly winced and shook her head sadly. "He's so tangled up inside his own mind right now. He barely eats; he works all day and is up all night. I'm afraid he's going to lose his grip completely if he doesn't find a way to relieve his tension," she said.

Jake smirked at her. "Well, I can think of one thing that's an excellent stress reliever," he said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Shut up. I don't think he could even thing about sex at this point," she replied, smirking.

"Oh he can and believe me, he does. At the office, you hide yourself away in PR all day, but I've seen him watching when you come downstairs to the lounge. The way he looks at you when you aren't paying attention ... trust me, Holly. _Go to him_. Afterwards, he'll have a clear head, you'll feel better, and both of you can be happy. Even if it's only for a little while," he said, trying to ease the sting of his earlier observations.

Holly remained silent and Jake continued, "The catch is this is something you're going to have to initiate. Now don't worry, you'll be fine. You're annoying as hell, but he seems to like you regardless so that's a start. And _maybe _you're sort of sexy in a hot-babysitter, girl-next-door kind of way" Jake said, returning the zing with a smile.

Holly's mouth twitched into a smile. "I shudder to think what you did with your babysitters," she said dryly, but what Jake was proposing was something to consider. She chewed her lip, wishing she could be alone to sort her options. After several minutes of contemplation, Holly sighed. "He knows he can come to me if he wanted to," she stated quietly.

"Does he?" Jake questioned and then rolled his eyes. "Jesus, why am I asking this? I don't want to know about your and Edward's sex life. Forget it, it was just an idea. Fucking women," he muttered before sprinting ahead, leaving Holly to contemplate the pros and cons of the seed he'd just planted.

Chapter End Notes:

So, Jacob's back in the picture. What do we think about that?

Thank you for reading and patiently waiting for me to get my s*** together. Please, please review and let me know what you think about the story at this point.

Thanks again to Kherisma, without whom I would be an even bigger mess.

Thank you, Alice's White Rabbit, for your mad betaing skills. I hope your cruise was twi-rific ;)


	15. Chapter 15

Fifteen

"Can't we just kill her and be done with it?" Felix asked, glaring at Alice as he spoke to his uncle. He hissed in pain as he gingerly wrapped a handkerchief around his hand and the wound Alice had just inflicted on him. When he took it upon himself to cop a feel of her pregnancy-engorged breast, Alice stabbed him with a fork she'd saved from breakfast.

Aro chuckled. "Patience, Felix. Keeping her alive and well will ensure a much bigger fish to feast on later," he said, looking devilishly at Alice.

Felix growled in frustration and his voice grew in anger as he spouted his frustrations. "She just stabbed me with a goddamn fork! She's whiney, moody, bossy, and driving us all fucking crazy. I don't understand why you _insist_ we—"

He was effectively cut off when Aro grabbed his throat and squeezed. "It's not your job to understand my decisions, dear nephew. _Your_ job is to provide Mrs. McNamera with whatever she needs and make sure she doesn't waddle her way out of here. Do you think you can handle that? Hmm?" Aro asked in a disarmingly cool and collected voice.

Felix nodded with limited movement and Aro released him. Rubbing his throat, he coughed, sputtered, and cursed as he staggered out of the room. Alice watched him leave before returning her eyes to Aro.

He had insisted from the beginning that no one laid so much as an unfriendly finger on Alice, but it didn't take long for him to regret his words. Finding out how feisty she was had been a surprise to all, and Aro soon found it necessary for her survival to keep her on permanent 'bed rest'. Currently, Alice was chained by her ankles to the bed in her suite, and Aro took every measure to make sure she never had to leave her confines. For anything.

With her arms wrapped securely around her rapidly-expanding belly, Alice kept her eyes trained on Aro as he enjoyed the view of Florence from her window. She wanted nothing more than to talk to Josh and let him know she was still all right. She knew Aro hadn't yet decided on her fate or that of her family. Waiting for him to figure things out was killing her.

She often wondered what it would be when he finally decided; Josh's life for hers? Carlisle's? Or would he lure her whole family there with the expectation of a monetary exchange only to kill them instead. Whatever it came down to, Alice knew it would be ugly. The Volturi family had more money than God, and this was one situation the Cullen's couldn't buy their way out of—at least not with cash.

Despite her situation, Alice was thankful to be reasonably comfortable, especially considering her open hostility toward her captors. So far, her outbursts were met with no repercussions and, until she was rescued or killed, she would continue to run the distance every time they gave her an inch. Still, Aro was adamant about keeping her and her babies healthy and comfortable until he figured out his next move.

What should have been one of the most joyous moments of her life was ruined by circumstance when Alice found out she was having twins. Weeks ago, Aro's resident doctor was performing a routine, bi-weekly ultrasound when he discovered the additional heartbeat.

Alice had been able to keep her tears hidden for so many months, refusing to let them see her as weak, saving them for her rare nights alone. But when the doctor pointed out the second heartbeat to Aro—not her—Alice burst into tears. The magnitude of what Aro had taken away from her overwhelmed Alice in that moment and her resolve was temporarily shattered. After her breakdown in front of the doctor, she remained silent for nearly three days.

Stepping away from the window, Aro smiled at Alice and leisurely strolled to her bedside. "Oh, my dear, dear Alice. What shall become of your family? I've been tinkering around with a few ideas, but I just can't seem to make up my mind. There are so many possibilities; how _will_ I end the Cullen name?" he questioned, staring off in contemplation. He sighed and shrugged, turning his insidious eyes back to Alice.

She shivered in revolt when Aro brushed his knuckles across her cheek. "You're going to have to start playing a little nicer, my dear," he said, his voice slithering and snake-like.

Alice smacked his hand away when his fingers trailed down her neck, and his lips curled into a malicious smile as he continued. "You've become quite the thorn in everyone's side. All we want to do is make you comfortable."

"You don't know what you've started. As soon as my husband finds out where I am, he'll be here and you'll be dead," she stated coldly, meeting his gaze with no fear.

Aro laughed in delight. "I do hope for a riveting conclusion, but I'm afraid you overestimate the power of your family. You see, _they_ will be the ones who perish." His eyes turned to stone in an instant, but his smile remained. "And I so look forward to making you watch them die before I throw you to the wolves."

Holly chewed a fingernail as she paced back and forth in her room. During her morning run, Jake had suggested that she go to Edward and offer herself to him as a way to relieve his tension. She was more than ready for the connection, both emotionally and physically, and by the time she got home, Holly had made her decision. She _would_ go to him.

Unfortunately, the day had gone completely downhill from there. The tension was thick as fog when Holly returned to the house. Frustrations were high as a possible lead had turned into yet another dead-end for the case. That was the day of Edward's first total meltdown.

He'd kept his emotions completely bottled up in the long weeks since their last night together, and his rage finally came to a head when they received the email from an untraceable source that contained a media file. Everyone dropped what they were doing and rushed to gather around the computer. Edward stood still as a statue and listened to the four second recording of Alice's voice.

"I'm alive and I love you all. The babies are healthy," the message promised.

"Play it again," Josh instructed Jasper. Listening to the recording a second and third time, Josh dropped into the seat behind him. "Bab_ies_? What does that mean? Oh, God, do you think we could be having twins?"

And that's when Edward lost it. Aro was dangling Alice in front of them like a carrot, and he knew it was his brother-in-law, dad, and probably, himself that the Volturis really wanted. Edward's tension roared out of him in a long line of curse words before he picked up an empty vase and launched it at the fireplace across the room.

His chest heaved as he paced back and forth, grunting like an angry gorilla. Finally, he stormed up the stairs and two loud crashes followed from above before everything fell silent.

Holly waited for his return the rest of the day, but he never emerged. Currently, she was debating what to do. Should she hold out for his temper to cool completely or try to help him ease his frustrations? What if he was still angry? What if he snapped on her? Worse yet, what if he turned her down? The possibilities of Edward's volatile state were endless.

Deciding she'd spent too much time watching their connection dwindle away, Holly knew she had to do whatever it took to keep it alive. She was drawn to Edward's light, however faded it had become, and the thought of staying away from him was inconceivable; she could do anything _but_ that.

The good times with Edward, though growing fewer and further between, were worth the periods of drought they endured. The look that flashed across his face as he watched her get attacked by a two-year-old with a vengeance, washed dishes with Esme, or provide unintended comic relief for an ever-teasing Emmett was priceless to Holly. His tender glances were fleeting, but they were still there,

She finally told herself to suck it up and go; although, her heart was much weaker than her head. She could hear the pulse pounding in her ears as she took delicate steps across the hall to Edward's room. Holly stopped and listened, pressing her ear against the thick wood of the door. There was a light racket on the other side, but she couldn't hear well enough to guess what he was doing. Not realizing how close she was standing, Holly shifted her weight and loudly banged her knee against the doorframe.

The commotion in his room ceased and she held her breath.

"Hello?" Edward asked tersely.

She panicked at the chilling tone of his voice and her first instinct was to run. Holly hightailed it back to her own room and shut the door quietly. After several minutes, when she was confident Edward had decided to ignore the intrusion, Holly decided the stupid idea was a bust and pushed herself away from the door.

Laughing at her own childish behavior, Holly grabbed a nightgown from the dresser and tossed it onto the bed. She pulled her shirt over her head, discarding it in the hamper along with her bra. The door suddenly opened behind her and she yelped, covering her breasts with her arms as she spun around.

Edward was standing in her doorway with tired, frazzled eyes. He looked at her questioningly before his eyes fell to her barely-covered torso. His brows twitched, and his expression was altogether pained and needy.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes fixed on her bare skin.

When he finally met her gaze, Holly took a shaky breath and dropped her arms to her sides, leaving herself exposed from the hips up. For the first time in almost two months, Edward's face softened, and she saw a glimpse of the person she used to know; he looked human again. But the heart-clenching peek from his shell lasted only a second before it snapped shut once again.

His eyes changed, turning dark and hungry, and he shut the door, stripping off his own shirt. Crossing the room in record time, Edward crashed into Holly, kissing her hard. His arms wrapped around her like a vice while Holly grabbed his hair and pulled at his face, needing to feel as close to him as possible.

"I need you. Now," he pleaded against her mouth.

Holly gasped at the sensation that just his voice could bring to her core. "Yes," Holly managed, breathily. It never ceased to amaze her how utterly intoxicating Edward was, no matter what form he was in.

She found her footing and moved to unbutton her jeans, but Edward grabbed her hands and shoved them out of the way. Holly stumbled as he pushed her backwards until she fell onto the edge of the bed. He deftly ripped through the button and zipper, yanking her jeans and panties down her hips.

Removing the pants completely and tossing them behind him, Edward knelt down on the floor at the edge of the bed, throwing Holly's legs over his shoulders and positioning her hips accordingly.

Holly laid her head back, crying out when he spread her wet lips and dove in. Edward's hot mouth licked, sucked, teased, and tortured her. His fingers dug into Holly's soft flesh as he held her hips firmly in place, despite her attempts to buck and rock against him.

Panting, Holly clenched her jaw and groaned encouragingly through her teeth at the overwhelming sensations. The pleasure he gave her was shocking; it set fire to her need, and Holly let herself go as she arched her back and massage her breasts. Edward kept his eyes trained on her as he worked, and his erection pulsed as he took in the sight, sound, taste, and smell of her.

All too quickly, the intense and repetitive circling motion of his tongue around her clit was too much to bear. Holly's insides seized and shuddered, and she wiggled and writhed beneath him until her body exploded with sensation. She turned her head and shoved the corner of a pillow into her mouth to drown out her cries of ecstasy.

Edward finally came up for air, panting and growling. He shucked off his pants and retrieved a condom from his wallet, ripping the package open and quickly rolling it down his length. Nimbly, he picked Holly up with one arm and moved them to the center of the bed. With wild, intense eyes, Edward slid his arms up her back and curled his fingers around her shoulders as he pushed himself into her. He groaned against the side of her head in sheer pleasure as Holly cried out into her pillow again.

"Look at me," he said, his whispered voice gravely and commanding.

With a strangled grunt, Holly tore her face from the pillow and forced her eyes to Edward. His fingers dug into her shoulders as he thrust into her again and again. There was little passion in their heated exchange, only raw, desperate escapism. His mind was screaming for him to slow down, but all the pent-up rage he'd been holding inside prevented him from acting anything more than primal.

Holly wrapped her legs securely around his waist and groaned in pleasure as she angled her hips to better accommodate him. She squeezed her eyes shut, and her panting increased in tempo. Edward could feel her begin to tighten around him, but he wasn't ready for the much-needed relief to end.

Pulling out of Holly, he sat up on his knees and grabbed her sides, easily flipping her onto her stomach. He lifted her hips slightly and slammed into her again, grunting with each thrust. Holly's hands fisted the blankets beneath her as she pushed herself back against Edward. Face firmly planted in the pillow, Holly freely cried out in ecstasy as she was consumed by pleasure. The roughness of his intensity mixed headily with the pleasure of his large cock rubbing against her hot spot. Holly's control finally shattered as her walls pulsed and contracted around him.

"I'm going to cum," he rasped but realized Holly was already up to her ears in her own orgasm.

Edward gave her three more good thrusts before he stiffened and released his load. Holly moaned in pleasure, feeling him spasm and twitch inside her as he emptied himself completely. Finally, Edward collapsed onto his side, discarded his condom, and pulled Holly to him, kissing her deeply.

He pulled away, out of breath. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Holly. I don't know what came over me. I should've slowed down," he said between pants, knowing he'd just attacked her like an animal.

Holly was spent, but she grinned up at him. "Don't be sorry. I'm not," she said, rubbing the thick stubble on his jaw.

Edward's mouth twisted into a half-smile, but his eyes were marred with rue as he stared down at her. He looked as if he were about to lament his feelings of shame, and she didn't want the night to be ruined by his unnecessary regret. Hoping to deter him, Holly stole another kiss and turned around, making herself comfortable against him.

He pressed his lips to her temple when she finally settled. "I keep having to say this, but I'm sorry I'm so messed up right now. I hope you know you're more to me than … this. Although, how _would_ you know?" Edward frowned, brushing the hair away from the side of her face. "And you have nothing to ever be sorry for, Holly. You're perfect," he murmured.

Holly turned around again and propped herself up on one elbow. She spoke quietly, hoping to convey to love and understanding she held for him. "And _I_ hope _you_ know you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here; whenever and however you need me."

Closing his eyes, Edward winced. It should've made him happy that she hadn't given up on him yet; instead, it made him feel incredibly guilty.

Holly smiled, trying to dispel the change of atmosphere. "I'm really glad you're here tonight," she whispered, grabbing the hair above his brow and bringing his face to hers for a slow, deliberate kiss.

Edward finally moaned and laid her back down, allowing her to get comfortable beside him. He rested his head on his arm and buried his face in her hair as he tightened his grip around her waist. "Me, too."

Hours later, sweating and panicked, Edward awoke from a nightmare. He clawed at his eyes as Aro's smiling face lingered in his mind. When the worst of it was over, Edward sat up, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his head on his arms. How long was this going to go on? How many more times would he wake up from this nightmare, only to realize he was still in it? The circumstances of the dream varied, but the ending was always the same; Edward, seconds away from killing Aro, only to see Alice be destroyed instead because he hadn't been quick enough.

Edward looked down at the sleeping body next to him and rubbed his aching temples. Despite Holly's reassurance, he was ashamed of how he'd treated her only hours before. Although, he was thankful for the release she'd given him—Lord knows he needed it—he'd mauled her like a wild bear. It was a dick move and he loathed himself for making what she meant to him feel so cheap. He may not have shown it, but Edward needed her immensely. He knew she deserved more than he was able to give her in the last several months and hoped someday he could make things right for them again.

Unfortunately, he was too far gone on his quest to put his family back together; Edward was in no shape to contribute any part of himself to the kind of relationship he wanted with Holly. He felt as if he were watching everything around him through the fogged-up window of his despair. He watched Holly come and go as she found ways to channel her tension, while he stayed behind to wallow in his own.

Though it made him happy to see her able to remain strong for his family, Edward always felt more anxious and afraid when she wasn't around. She'd attempted more than once to include him in her ventures, but his mumbled replies were always the same—thanks, but no thanks.

Selfish as it was, Edward secretly lived for the days when she was at the house with the family. He would watch from behind his laptop as she tended to her brother, or interacted with his niece. Sophie had grown to adore Holly, and Edward loved watching them play and be silly.

Of course, it wasn't just Sophie who loved Holly. Somewhere, deep inside, underneath his exhaustion and anguish, Edward's love for her still remained. She was the silver lining behind the black cloud that had settled over his existence. However, instead of turning to her emotionally and letting her soothe the pain, he kept her out in the cold with everyone else. Doing so made him miserable with guilt.

Glancing at the alarm clock, he noticed it was just after three in the morning. Insomnia had taken control of him in the weeks following his sister's kidnapping and had remained his constant companion ever since. With his circadian rhythm all out of whack, Edward knew he would be up for the rest of the day.

Edward sighed and scratched his jaw. He pulled the blanket up to her chin before leaning down and lightly kissing Holly's forehead. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking into a whisper, and quietly rolled off the bed.

Throwing his unbuttoned jeans on, he grabbed his shirt and took one last look at her before exiting her room and closing the door behind him. With fear, doubt, and now, shame piled soundly on his back, Edward headed to his own room for a shower and another day of trying to figure out the impossible.

Holly woke up to the sun on her face. Her left arm was numb with sleep, and she shifted to stretch it out. Memories of the previous night filtered into her mind and she rolled onto her side, sighing at the empty space next to her that was long cold. She grabbed the pillow Edward had used and held it to her chest, wishing it was him instead.

She was still tender from his touch and allowed herself a brief moment to rejoice in the afterglow of their night, however dim it may have been without him there beside her. Holly stuck her face in the pillow and inhaled deeply, relishing his scent and thinking about how much fun it would've been to wake him up properly. She hoped he somehow benefited from their quick but heated roll in the sheets.

After a few long moments, Holly finally pulled herself out of bed and got in the shower. She washed quickly and was brushing her teeth when her phone lit up from the counter beside her. It was a text from Jake.

_**Twenty bucks says you didn't get laid last night. Chicken shit. I'll be at the park in an hour.**_

Holly rolled her eyes, annoyed that Jake was only half-wrong. She definitely got laid; that was for sure. But for the sake of technicality, she _had_ chickened out when she'd scurried away from his door like a frightened church mouse. Edward had been the one to initiate things but Jake didn't need to know that.

She spit and rinsed before typing a short response stating she'd be there and that she wasn't going to talk about it with him. Holly laughed to herself at his rude text message. He'd pretended not to care about her love life, but she should've known better.

She dried her hair and quickly dressed in a pair of gray yoga pants and a red, lightweight hoodie. Edward was in the kitchen when she went to the fridge to get a bottle of water. He gave her a brief, tense smile and was quick to look away. Holly could clearly see the guilt he was still carrying and wished there was something she could do or say to make him feel differently about their situation. Instead of speaking up and potentially making him even more uncomfortable, she decided to give Edward his space. She said a quick farewell and left to find Mike.

When he heard the front door close, Edward sighed and pushed away the newspaper he'd been skimming through.

After a few minutes, Rosalie strolled into the kitchen with Sophie on her hip. "Morning," she greeted.

Edward mumbled a reply and smiled when Sophie reached for him. He took her from Roses arms, and she planted her feet on his thighs, happily bouncing up and down.

Rose poured herself a glass of juice before grabbing a cutting board and some fruit for her daughter's breakfast. "Did Holly head out already?" Rose asked, prompting Sophie to loudly chant her garbled, two-year-old version of Holly's name. "I was going to see if she wanted to go shopping with me and Soph. Your niece is growing like a weed."

Edward laughed and kissed Sophie's soft, white-blonde curls. "Yeah, you just missed her."

Noticing the sadness in his eyes, Rose sliced her banana thoughtfully. "It's funny, you know. I wasn't a big fan of Holly when she first showed up here. I questioned her intentions for suddenly coming to Seattle to track down Josh after all the years they'd spent a part. Then, after I saw the affect she was having on you, my feelings toward her thawed a little. Any girl who can tame you without even trying is a winner in my book," she said, glancing up at Edward with a soft smile.

Edward chuckled once but kept his focus on Sophie as she studiously observed the funny pages of the newspaper, pointing out various colors she recognized.

Rose continued, "Now, I don't know what I'd do without her. Obviously Sophie loves spending time with her, and she's been such a help to me and Emmett with everything that's going on. She's a good person and easy to talk to; I can really see why you like her as much as you do, Edward."

Sighing again, Edward shook his head, knowing their "relationship" was far from where he'd like it to be.

Rose misinterpreted his expression. "I'm sorry. Are you guys all right? You're not fighting, are you?"

"No, we're not fighting. There's nothing to fight about; that's the thing, Rose. With everything that's going on right now, I've been completely ignoring her. I wouldn't blame her if she _was_ angry or hurt by how distracted I've been, but she's not at all and, it just makes me feel even worse."

"Well of course she's not angry with you," Rose said, taking Sophie from Edward and put her in the highchair. "You've been working night and day to bring Alice home; she's mature enough to understand that. I'm going to tell you a little secret, Edward. Holly loves you."

Edward's head snapped up, and Rose took a seat next to him at the bar. "Did she tell you that?"

"She hasn't said it in so many words, but she doesn't have to. She worries about you so much; your lack of sleep, your mental well-being … She's devoted to you, sweetie. She just wants to see you happy … well, as happy as you can be right now."

His throat constricted at what Rose was telling him, and he had to swallow hard to get around the lump that had formed. "I love her, too, Rose. I really do. I want to tell her so everyday, but I can't go making proclamations like that when everything else is so shitty. I want to bridge the gap between us, but I just can't be that person to her right now. At this rate, because of my distance, I'm afraid I'm going to lose her completely."

Smiling at his admission of love, Rose grabbed his hand and gently squeezed. "She's not going to give up on you, Edward, so don't give up on her. I know you're distracted—we all are. You may not have much to offer her right now, but you _can _let her try to help you."

Edward shrugged in defeat. "I don't know. I don't even feel human anymore; I'm like a stranger in my own body. All I can think about is finding Alice and killing Aro Volturi. I don't think there's anything that _can_ help me right now," Edward said with an edge of bitterness as he thought of Aro.

"You're wrong. You guys can help each other. She's desperate to be a part of your life, and you'd be surprised how much having someone to lean on can help. You don't have to tell her you love her if you're not ready, but try letting her inside a little more. You're both walking on eggshells around each other, and it doesn't have to be that way.

"It's sad that she feels she has to tip toe around you because of your mood swings. She's afraid of being caught in your path the next time you lose it like you did yesterday. And who _wouldn't_ be? That was some show you put on, by the way."

Edward's shoulders slumped. "I don't walk on eggshells around her," he muttered, ignoring Rose's observation.

"Oh, yes you do. You prowl around the house like a creeper, watching Holly from the shadows, too afraid to make yourself a part of whatever it is she's doing at the moment. You get your kicks from watching her at a distance, never allowing yourself to get close enough for her to notice you still need her. Shutting out someone you practically live with to avoid your own insecurities takes effort. It's a life _spent_ on eggshells, my friend."

Edward met Rose's deep blue eyes as he processed what she'd said.

"Just try to open yourself up a little more," she said quietly before they were interrupted.

Emmett and Esme entered the kitchen, putting the breaks on their conversation. Edward squeezed Rose's hand, grateful for her insight, and walked to the sink to rinse his coffee cup. He knew he couldn't be everything Holly wanted and needed right now, but Rose was right; shutting her out completely—aside for occasional sex—wasn't the right thing to do, either. If he wanted Holly to still be there when the world started turning again, he needed to open himself up to the idea of expanding his boundaries. Maybe there was some kind of middle ground for the two of them, and maybe it was time he started trying to find it.

Running along one of the thickly wooded trails of Lincoln Park, Holly wiped the sheen of sweat from her forehead. The afternoon sun was a muted, yellow ball behind the clouds as she came around a bend in the trail and spotted Jake stretching against a tree in the distance. She greeted him, slowing a little as he joined her on the paved path. Holly kept her eyes on the ground ahead, pointedly ignoring his expectant smile.

Amused, Jake waited patiently for her to break; he could play this game, too. However, after a few long minutes, he decided a little prodding wouldn't hurt. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Holly said flatly.

Jake laughed. "That's fine; I can do this all day long, sweetheart. After all, the key to interrogation is silence."

Holly just shook her head and kept running. She could feel his eyes boring into the side of her head and when she looked at him, his cocky, self-righteous smirk made her want to gag. It wasn't that he had her pegged wrong; it was the opposite, actually. He had her pegged exactly right. She was the chicken he called her out to be, and she hated admitting it more than anything.

"Anything you want to share with the class today, Holly?" he said, patronizing her.

Holly smiled tightly and gritted her teeth, unable to tolerate the thought of putting up with his shit for the rest of the afternoon. "Fine. You owe me twenty dollars. And don't condescend, please. It makes me want to hurt you very much."

Laughing again, Jake nudged her arm. "I'm sorry; don't be mad at me. I'm actually impressed. Are you at least glad you went to him? I'm sure he was pretty excited about it," he said, reigning in his inner asshole.

Holly looked at him and sighed. "Don't be sorry. You're right; I'm a total chicken shit. Edward sort of lost it over something yesterday, and things were really tense at the house. I started to make my move but bailed at the last second. It was pathetic; trust me."

Jake's thick brows knitted together in confusion. "Wait a minute. I thought you said I owe _you_ money. That would mean you slept with him, right?"

"I'll skip the embarrassing details, but he ended up coming to me, instead. We spent the night together, but he left my room sometime during the night. It was good but … different than I was expecting, I guess." Holly cheeks pinked at her own admission. It was a little embarrassing to hear out loud.

"Hey, at least you broke the ice, right? What's your next move?"

Holly shrugged. "I don't know; I haven't gotten that far yet. Probably just let him be for a while like usual. I think he feels guilty or something for spending time with me. I don't know why he would feel that way, but I wish he wouldn't," she said, slowing to a walk.

Jacob considered her words and grinned. "Sexual remorse from Edward? I don't believe it. Jeez, he must really like you," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Holly could only manage a ghost of a smile. "He doesn't need to feel anything but free when he's with me. If he could just see that, things would be so much better."

Jake groaned. "See, this is the kind of shit I don't understand about women."

"What?" Holly said, feeling the itch to sprint away and put an end to his questions.

"Come on, Holly. You're not being fair to him. Edward can't _just_ _see_ something like that. You have to _tell_ him what you want him to know. He's not a mind-reader."

She mentally cursed herself when not one compelling argument came to mind. Once again, he was right. "It's not that simple for me, Jake. I'm a chicken, remember?" she said, kicking a rock into the grass.

Jake smiled and shook his head. "You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, Hol. What is it that you're afraid of?"

Holly took a minute to ponder his question. She was afraid of a lot of things; of putting herself out there for the umpteen millionth time and getting shut down, of pushing him further away and losing what little part of him she still had, and of resenting herself when she finally ran him off completely.

"I'm afraid of losing him," she said, eventually summing up all of her fears in five simple words.

Jake thought for a moment before responding, "I don't think you will. What you want doesn't come with strings attached, but maybe he doesn't know that. Edward can't handle strings; he never could. Especially not right now. If he understood your intentions a little better, maybe he wouldn't be so distant."

"Gosh, Jake. You're on a roll today," she said sarcastically. "When did you become so intuitive?"

Jake merely shrugged in response and didn't push her any further. They ran in silence for another quarter mile before he decided it was time for a new subject. "So, I need your advice on something," he stated matter-of-factly.

Shaking herself from thoughts of how she would apply Jakes advice, Holly looked up at him tentatively. "About what?"

"I thought about what you said yesterday—about how I should give Danielle a chance. Well, every year I get together with a couple friends from law school for a weekend in Salt Lake City. They're all married now, and the last couple years they've brought their wives or girlfriends along; I end up being the odd man out. I leave in two days, and I know it's short notice, but do you think I should invite Danielle?"

Holly smiled, realizing they had moved on from the subject of Edward for the day. "Aww, Jake, I'm glad to hear you've decided not to break up with her. Yes, I think that would be nice for you guys. It's only a couple of days, and it might be good for her to see you in a more relaxed setting."

Jake smiled, obviously happy that Holly saw it as a good idea. He then launched into a whole Danielle-is-the-greatest-thing-since-sliced-bread tangent, and Holly was happy to focus on her friend's newfound happiness. Of course, despite her attempts to shut everything else out, Edward's face flashed across her mind and the uncertainty she feared most, settled heavily in her stomach.


	16. Chapter 16

Sixteen

Holly smiled at the farewell text message from Jacob and typed a quick response, wishing him a safe trip and reminding him to behave himself. Jake had taken the plunge and asked Danielle, the gorgeous attorney he was seeing, to accompany him on his annual trip to Salt Lake City. She'd gladly accepted his invitation, and Holly smiled wider when she thought of how giddy he'd been when he called the day before to tell her the good news.

As aggravating as he could be, Jake was a great guy. Not only was he the perfect distraction from the angst-ridden atmosphere of the house, he seemed to be her only link to normalcy and the outside world. In their small but regular bursts of time together, Holly was able to simply exist and focus on someone else for a change; he was the only person she knew in Seattle that didn't have mayhem breathing down his neck.

She hadn't put much merit into their running sessions before, but Jake had fast become her closest confidant. He was a good friend to keep around as she struggled to maintain her own sanity in the day-to-day madness.

His departure meant Holly was faced with three whole days with nothing but time on her hands. During their last run together, Jake had not-so-gently reminded her that Edward was not a mind reader and the only way he could know her intentions was if she just came out and told him. After thinking a lot about his words, it was easy to see Jake was right; talking to Edward was the only real choice she had.

Jake had told her that Edward couldn't handle relationships with strings attached, and Holly needed to somehow communicate that what she wanted with him was string-free. Edward was going through the most difficult time of his life. While she understood the reason behind his distance, she wanted to let him know that she was there for him—that he didn't have to be scared or ashamed to lean on her. Holly knew she had to get past all her doubts and fears and take control of the situation before Edward slipped even further away, and she fully intended on using the excess time on her hands to heed Jake's advice.

Sticking her phone in the back pocket of her dark jeans, Holly threw on a thin, loose sweater over her tank top and pinned her hair into a bun on the top of her head. She shrugged at her reflection in the mirror, satisfied enough with her appearance, and shoved her legs into a pair of tall, brown boots before leaving her bedroom.

The whole family had basically set up residence at Josh's house since Alice disappeared, and the gloom was weighing heavily on them all. Esme convinced everyone to spend the day at her home for no other reason but a change of scenery. Holly opted to stay behind to enjoy the peace and quiet, and allow everyone else to regroup as a family.

The house was dark and silent when Holly walked into the empty kitchen.

"Hey."

A deep voice came from behind her, startling Holly and she spun around. She sighed and laughed nervously when she realized it was Edward. "You surprised me; I thought you were at your parents' house."

Edward shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not so bad around here," he said, following her into the kitchen.

Frowning slightly, Holly grabbed a bottle of lemonade from the fridge and turned to look at him with concern. "Edward, you need a break. I'm worried about you—everyone is. You should've taken the opportunity to escape for a while. Get your mind off things before you go crazy."

"It's too late for that, I think," he said with a dry chuckle.

Holly took a drink and leaned against the counter, facing him. "I'm serious. You need to get out of here." Before Holly could say anything more, Edward took three long strides to close the distance between them.

"Then let's get out of here. Right now. Just you and me," he said almost frantically.

His abruptness surprised her, and Holly blinked at him before focusing her attention on the plastic bottle she held in her hands. "Without a chaperone? I don't think your father would be very pleased if we did that."

Edward suddenly felt claustrophobic; he couldn't stand the thought of spending even one more second in Josh's house. And Holly's indication that they needed a babysitter stung him a little. No one was around to enforce the arbitrary rules set by Carlisle, and the fact that she didn't believe he was enough to keep her safe, was a blow to his ego.

He leaned forward, resting his hands on the counter on either side of her, not touching her, but trapping Holly where she stood. "Who fucking cares, Holly? So we don't have anyone to follow us around. So what? I'm sick of all that nanny bullshit. Let's just … go." He took a deep breath and hung his head in frustration; his tone was more brusque and urgent than he'd intended, and he was sure she could see that he really was losing it.

Holly winced at the desperation that seemed to be consuming him. He was desperate to be free, or at least to feel free for a little while, and she would do anything to help him get there. Knowing this could be the perfect opportunity to let him know everything she needed him to know, Holly finally nodded her head. "Okay," she whispered.

Edward raised his head to meet her stare and a brilliant, genuine smile lit up his face when he realized she was serious. He grasped her shoulders and gave her a quick kiss. "I knew I could count on you to be a renegade with me."

He'd gone from one pole to the other too quickly, and Holly was still trying to catch up. Before she could choke out a confused laugh, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen. Edward helped her into her coat, throwing his on, as well, before they left the house. He was still smiling as they left the neighborhood in his Volvo, taking the back way to avoid any lingering journalists still camped out at the gates of the lofty subdivision.

Holly couldn't help but let the excitement grow inside her. She turned the music up, and they headed downtown in the mid-September rain with Radiohead providing the soundtrack to their escape.

Edward could feel the oppression falling away from him in large chunks that bounced and skipped down highway 520 behind him. He had half a mind to drive to the airport and take Holly far away to somewhere warm, but he resisted. Instead, Edward relaxed in his seat, content enough to enjoy the morsel of momentary recklessness they did have.

He stole a glance at Holly, noticing she looked happy, if not a little excited, but her hands were anxious. She manically toyed with the smooth oval of turquoise on a thin silver bangle she wore around her wrist. He turned his eyes back to the road with a smirk when she looked up to say something.

"So … what do we do now?" Holly inquired, wide-eyed. Her blood was still spiked with adrenaline.

Edward laughed quietly. "We can do whatever you like. Holly's choice."

She twisted her mouth and tapped her chin in mock concentration. "Hmm, Holly's choice. What does Holly choose? Whatever it is, we should probably try to be inconspicuous. You know, since we're _renegades_ and all," she reminded him with a serious face. Edward's smile was uninhibited and real, and Holly smiled in return. "It's good to see that again," she said in a softer voice.

His brows knitted. "What?"

"That smile. I've missed seeing it," she answered, feeling her ears grow warm.

Taking her hand, Edward felt light as air for the first time in months. "It feels good to laugh," he admitted. "Now, what would you like to do on this most excellent day of hell-raising?"

Holly couldn't care less what they did, and her mind drew a blank. "I don't know. What do you think? A museum? The pier?"

Edward shrugged with indifference at her suggestions. An idea popped into his head, and he side-glanced Holly with narrowed eyes. "Let's really live on the edge today. Let's go to the aquarium." He'd always loved the aquarium.

"Dear God, a rebel without a cause. Watch out, fieldtrip-goers and mothers with young children; he's out of control."

Edward laughed loudly and merged onto the exit ramp that would lead them to The Seattle Aquarium.

Being a Wednesday morning, the aquarium was fairly quiet with only a sparse crowd. Holly looked around the large main entrance while Edward stood in a short line to get passes to the coral reef exhibit. She smiled, watching a young nun attempting to control her class of very young and rambunctious little girls.

Edward slipped in beside her and took her hand. "Undersea adventures await us. Are you ready?"

"Definitely." Holly smiled up at him.

Pulling her arm securely through his, Edward led them toward the entrance. "Get ready to live."

She leaned into him as they strolled behind the herd of tiny, uniformed students and made their way through a tunnel. They emerged in a dark labyrinth of brightly colored sealife and veered left when the nun steered her class to the right. The coral reef that sprawled around them was absolutely stunning and teeming with life. They walked in silence for a while, taking it all in.

Something caught Holly's eye, and she dropped Edward's hand to wander across the wide path. Edward shoved his hand in his pocket and sauntered along behind her. She was struck with fascination, her nose nearly pressed to the thick glass as she studied a large school of yellow and black stripped angelfish.

Edward watched with a smile, grateful for the conventional surroundings the aquarium provided. But as he stared at Holly, the guilt that was never far away began to creep in. His face slowly fell as thoughts of the way things should've been between them filled his mind. "Holly, I'm so sorry," he stated, his quiet voice amplified by the empty space.

Her mind snapped to attention as soon as the words came out of his mouth, and she looked at his blurry reflection in the glass. Holly couldn't take anymore of his guilt or stand to hear one more unnecessary apology from him. She turned to him and cleared her throat; her mouth was suddenly bone dry. "Edward, I need to say something to you."

Grabbing his hand, Holly led him to one of several deep alcoves that were scattered around. She took a seat on the cushioned bench, and he followed suit. She was thankful for the darkness that surrounded them now that they were away from the glowing lights of the vast tanks of fish. Holly's hands gripped the bench on either side of her thighs, and she stared at her lap, trying to compose something coherent to say.

"What is it?" Edward asked tentatively, afraid of what was behind the worried expression on her face. Her troubled features had him considering all manner of negative things she might have to say to him at that moment.

Failing to come up with something smart or meaningful, Holly blurted, "Why do you feel you have to keep apologizing to me?"

Edward hadn't expected her question but found himself spitting out the truth without thinking about it. "Because I _am_ sorry. For so many things. I'm sorry that I can't be a normal human being right now and for shutting you out. I'm sorry because we haven't been to the aquarium a dozen times already. Seriously, we should have season passes by now or something." Humor made it easier to display his emotions on the fly, but she looked worried, not amused. He sighed. "I'm sorry because everything should have been different for us, Holly. The night of the ball … you gave something amazing to me, and I've been so careless with it. I wanted to be everything for you. I still want to, but I can't and I'm sorry."

Holly's gut wrenched, and she finally turned to face him. "But you _can't_ be everything to everyone. You're already giving everything you have to your sister and your family. You can't kill yourself with guilt over things that've slipped through the cracks."

When a fresh wave of guilt washed over him, Holly grabbed Edward's hands, shaking him. "Edward, you're going through something terrible right now. Just the fact that you're still standing is amazing to me. I care about you. A lot. I wish you would accept that you don't have to go through this by yourself." She linked her fingers through his before continuing. "I don't want to be in your way, but I do want to be in your life. I want to be someone you can turn to; someone you can lean on for support without feeling guilty for not being able to stretch yourself any thinner. I understand why you have to be distant. It's okay."

Edward licked his dry lips, attempting to moisten them. "You already are someone I turn to," he rasped.

Shaking her head, Holly pushed a bronze lock of hair away from his eyes. "No, I'm not. You haven't relied on anyone but yourself in months. Edward, you're the strongest person I know, but not even you can keep this up forever. You wanted to be everything to me? You already are. I'm not going anywhere; I'm right here. But watching you struggle everyday until you reach yet another breaking point, is getting harder and harder. Who knows what could happen the next time you blow up," she finished, surprised at how easily she'd been able to unleash her feelings.

Edward cringed at the memory of his caveman-like behavior in the bedroom. "It's wrong of me to take advantage of you, Holly, and I never want to hurt you. I wish you could know how much you've helped me, though." He looked her squarely in the eyes. "I can count on one hand the number of good days I've had since Alice disappeared, and all of them were because of you. The last time we were together … I was in a really bad place. I never should have taken it out on you like that."

Holly didn't want to get stuck in Edward's tangent of shame; she needed to keep control of the conversation. Smirking softly, she arched an eyebrow. "No need to apologize; I rather liked how you took it out on me," she said. She smiled and scooted closer to him when he chuckled. "How about we keep the amazing sex, but you also take into consideration that I'm here for much more than that. There's no need to ever feel guilty for being with me, no matter what we do. I understand where you are right now, and I just want to be what you need; whether it's an ear, a shoulder, or a warm body to lie next to. I'm here," she said and nudged him when he refused to look at her. "What do you think?"

Although he was grateful for her patience, Edward would always feel guilty for not being able to give all of himself to her. But maybe letting go of a little bit at a time was the key. "What do _I_ think? I think I don't deserve you, and I never have. But I'd like to try," he said, brushing her cheek with his fingertips.

"You deserve to be happy, Edward." Holly rested her hands on his thighs as she leaned forward, meeting him halfway for a slow kiss.

Just as Edward leaned in further to deepen the kiss, he heard a chorus of giggles beside them and opened one eye. He laughed against Holly's mouth at the curious group of school children gawking at them. There was a good mixture of smiles and snickers, as well as more than a few kids who were completely grossed out by their display.

The nun appeared, ushering them along with a red face while Holly hid against Edward's chest, laughing quietly. When they were alone again, Edward hooked his finger under her chin, encouraging her to look at him. "Stay with me tonight," he said. His voice was soft with a quiet urgency.

Holly's lips parted infinitesimally, and she could no longer feel the bench beneath her. "Of course."

"I mean at my place. Come home with me tonight."

She could only nod in return. Luckily, Edward's lips were on hers again, rendering any further conversation unnecessary.

After whittling away a few more hours at the aquarium, Edward and Holly had dinner at a deli in Seattle's Market District before heading to his place. Though she'd put it off as long as possible, Holly knew she needed to communicate with Josh at some point and let him know she would be away for the night. She snagged the opportunity to call him when Edward went upstairs to shower and change.

Holly held the phone away from her ear as Josh listed the numerous reasons why it had been stupid of her to go mucking about the city without a chaperone. When he finally paused to take a breath, Holly wedged herself in. "I'm sorry to have worried you; it was a spur of the moment decision. And I'm not alone. I'm with Edward, and we're fine. We're at his apartment, nice and safe, and I promise we won't leave for the rest of the night," she said, holding her breath while she waited for round two of Josh's tirade.

Josh sighed through the phone. "All right. I guess there's no need to argue with you. Just promise me you'll call Mike later when you're ready to come home. Please don't make me worry about you."

Holly closed her eyes and mouthed a silent string of curse words. Clearly, he'd failed to read between the lines. "Josh, I'm staying here tonight. Tell Mike to go home; I'll call him tomorrow."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and Holly mentally counted to forty-seven before Josh spoke again.

"Okay," he said in a carefully measured tone. "What if I told you that's probably not the smartest idea and you should just come home?" His voice remained in-check, only faltering once at the end.

Holly smiled at his transparency, as well as his oblivion, and spoke softly. "I'd tell you it's not you're decision before reassuring you, there's nothing to worry about." She paused briefly and the silence hung like a veil between them. "Goodnight, Josh. I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow." Hanging up before he could say anything else, Holly shoved her phone in her bag and tossed it on the camel-colored loveseat in Edward's living room.

Edward came down the stairs, his hair wet and wild. He wore an old baseball T-shirt with faded red arms. Shaving had crossed his mind, but he resorted to merely trimming his way-overgrown five o'clock shadow, leaving a blanket of stubble on his face. "I thought I heard you talking down here. Is everything all right?" he asked, walking up behind Holly and circling his arms loosely around her waist.

His clean, masculine scent surrounded her, and Holly fought hard to concentrate on speaking. "Everything's fine. I just wanted to leave word that I wouldn't be coming home tonight. You know Josh; he probably would have deployed the National Guard if we didn't come back at some point."

Edward laughed and bobbed his head in agreement. "You're probably right. I hope he's not angry with you."

Holly turned in his arms to face him and traced her fingers over his defined chest. "He'll be fine. For tonight, let's pretend that nothing outside this apartment exists. Deal?"

"Deal," he said with a wide, crooked smile. "I haven't had a glass of decent wine in a long time. Would you like one?"

"Sure. White, please."

"I haven't forgotten," he said through a smile, pulling her into his spacious kitchen.

She climbed up and sat on a barstool, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. It'd been months since the last time she was in Edward's apartment, and things were upside down and worlds away from where they'd been since that life-changing evening last spring.

Holly watched as Edward pulled a chilled bottle of Riesling from the fridge and filled her glass before retrieving a bottle of Chianti for himself. As he searched his cabinets for a redwine glass, she found herself thinking of Alice. In May, before she disappeared and turned the world on its axis, Alice had been a little more than two months into her gestation. By now, she would be just over the seven month mark. The terrifying thought that Alice would soon be ready to deliver while they were still so far from finding her made Holly heartsick.

Edward handed her a large glass half-filled with cool white wine, easily spotting the change in her demeanor. "Come with me." He guided her into the living room and led her to the couch, turning on the fireplace before taking a seat next to her. "You're breaking your own rule, Holly."

She looked at him blankly for a moment. "Huh?"

"That face tells me you're not even close to forgetting that everything outside my apartment exists."

"Oh, yeah." Holly took a long drink of wine. She didn't particularly want to share the startling thoughts that had entered her mind without warning. Edward had been so carefree all day, able to put the tension aside for a little while and focus on what was in front of him. Holly didn't want to spoil his reprieve by shining a light on the things he was trying so hard to forget.

When she didn't say anything more, Edward thought for a second. "Maybe the apartment is still too much surface area. Let's say that everything not touching _this_ couch no longer exists. That should make it easier for us to concentrate," he said, picking up the two throw pillows that rested on the middle couch cushion. "See these two pillows?"

Holly smiled but narrowed her eyes as she nodded.

"These two pillows are in our universe; therefore, they're free for the taking. To be used for relaxing at our leisure. Like so," he explained, swinging his legs onto the couch and positioning the pillows between his head and the armrest to demonstrate.

Laughing, Holly crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. "You've been in rare form all day, Cullen. Have you turned to drugs? Is that what's going on here?"

Edward threw his head back against the pillows as he laughed. Rubbing his tired eyes and sighed. "No. No drugs." He raked his fingers through his hair, a constant gesture that forced a cowlick on the left side of his head. "I just need a new normal. What I've been doing so far isn't helping Alice or anyone else," he said, thinking of how much time he'd wasted being alone.

Holly squeezed his leg. "Things will change; you'll see."

Smiling, Edward pushed the cold thoughts out of his mind. "You know, you should try this whole relaxing thing. It's pretty nice, if I do say," he said cozying himself further into the couch.

Holly shook her head again. "Very rare form," she repeated and stood up, grabbing a pillow off the nearby loveseat to do as he suggested.

She was planning to mirror Edward on the other end of the couch, but he reached up and grabbed her pillow, throwing it clear across the room. "Uh-uh. That pillow doesn't exist, remember?" he said, and Holly laughed as he pulled her onto his chest.

Worming her hands under his shoulders, Holly molded her body against his. They lay chest-to-chest and he stroked her back with his large, warm hand. Edward lifted his head to take a drink of his wine before reaching, carefully above his head, to set the glass on the end table behind him.

With both hands free, he situated himself in a position that allowed him to cradle her more easily. He thought about Holly's life before she came to Seattle and wondered what her secret had been. How had she managed to keep her head straight through all the trials and tribulations of growing up with the difficult hand life had dealt her.

One member at a time, Holly lost her entire family—her mother and brother physically, and her father emotionally. She'd been left at a crucial age to fend for herself and more or less grow up on her own. Edward didn't know what exactly she took away from the years she spent alone; he wasn't even sure if Holly knew yet. He was certain that whatever it was, only made her stronger.

Forgoing his verbal filter, Edward asked, "How did you get by after you lost your mom and Josh left? What kept you from bailing when you turned eighteen and never looking back? What was it like for you?"

Holly froze, surprised by the sudden barrage of questions, and Edward must've noticed.

"Breathe, Holly," he reminded her softly, drawing feather-light figure eights on her back.

Letting out her breath in a quiet whoosh, Holly gathered her thoughts. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting that. Um … I guess I don't really know the answer to the first two questions. I don't think it's something that can be defined. Everyone's different; there's no formula for dealing with loss or grief, despite what some people might try to tell you."

"What was it like for you, then? Please," he said, not wanting to scare her off but suddenly needing to know.

Holly didn't move to look at him. She let the dancing flames of the fire lull her into a subdued state as she spoke about the unspeakable. "It was hard at first, of course. My dad just … turned himself off—shut out the world. It didn't take long for people to start wondering what the hell was going on at the McNamera house, that's for sure."

Edward's hands continued to rub and kneed her back. "I don't understand."

Holly drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Forks is a small town, Edward. And people can be mean. There was a lot of speculation about why Josh _really _left; apparently, college wasn't a juicy enough reason for them. And Charlie gave them even more ammo when he immediately went on to become the town drunk and resident joke of Clallam County." Holly sighed and closed her eyes. "Everyone's different, like I said. When my mom died, any redeeming quality Charlie ever possessed went with her. He just … crumbled. There were so many nights I could hear him crying from my bedroom. The sound of it still haunts me." She shuddered at the memory.

Edward's hands paused; he was now clutching her to him. He couldn't figure out what he was angrier about: that Charlie had failed as a human being—a man—giving himself over to the grief and deserting the only part of him he had left, or that Holly had been forced to stand by and watch as he, himself, slowly made his way down the same road as her father.

"I don't know why I stayed," she mused quietly. "Maybe because I was so young and naïve when everything happened; abandoning ship never occurred to me as a real option. Even if it had, I had five years before I was legally free to leave. I guess, eventually, I grew used to things. A part of me held on to the hope that as long as I was there, Charlie would somehow be okay. Guess I was wrong," Holly said with a sardonic chuckle. "I learned to stop paying attention to everyone after a while. I focused on the people in my life who knew the truth and loved me regardless, and I tuned out the rest. You tend to figure out early on who matters and who doesn't," she said, finally looking into his contemplative green eyes.

"Perspective," Edward agreed quietly, watching the shadow of the flames as they danced on her face. Although he wanted to ask her more about it, the look on her face begged him to let what had already been said be enough for now. He pulled her further up his torso until their noses were almost touching. "You're very strong, Holly McNamera. Nothing stops you; nothing scares you. I wish I was the same way."

Holly's mouth hung open. She pursed her lips and grasped his arms as she pushed herself up, holding herself at arms length. "I'm scared of _everything,_ Edward; of winding up back in Forks alone like Charlie, of watching the people I care about—the people I _love_—lose more of themselves everyday, of fighting the hopeless feeling that all of this is for nothing. More than anything, I'm scared that you're going to vanish—that I'm not enough for you and the next time I blink, you'll be gone."

Edward broke her hold on him, grabbing her arms as he sat up. He held her firmly in place as she straddled his lap. "You never have to worry about any of that, Holly. Ever," he said through his teeth before crushing his lips to hers.

A tear slid down Holly's cheek, and she let Edward consume her completely. They tumbled backward onto the couch and his fervid, needy lips kissed her fears away.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Chapter Notes:

This chapter is rated NC-17

I do not own _Twilight_ or any characters associated with _Twilight_.

Holly lay awake, smiling like a fool, admiring her uninterrupted view of Edward. She'd discovered how very generous a lover he could be. He'd brought her to ecstasy several times throughout the night before, finally claiming his own release. Their night of passionate allegiance was unprecedented-raw, unrestrained, and real. It was something she would never forget.

Very lightly, as to not wake him, Holly traced his stubbled jawline as she leisurely studied the sleeping Adonis. She carefully smoothed his unruly eyebrow before ghosting her fingers down the bridge of his perfectly imperfect nose. Edward didn't budge as she brushed her finger across his full, slightly parted lips before placing a whisper of a kiss where her finger had been.

Edward continued to snore softly through his deep state of unconsciousness, and Holly got an idea; it was something she'd only been able to daydream about, until now. Starting at his luscious lips, she feathered kisses along his jaw, chin, and neck, pausing to taste the dip at the base of his neck. His skin was delicious-warm and slightly salty from the perspiration he'd worked up the night before.

She carefully worked herself up on her knees and bent over him, navigating her lips and tongue across his smooth chest and down his firmly muscled stomach. Edward drew in a long, heavy breath and Holly paused in wait, but he didn't wake. Instead, he muttered unintelligibly and threw an arm over his face before the snoring resumed.

Holly's mouth and tongue continued down the middle line of his stomach, over his naval, and across his hips. The soft, mocha-colored sheet concealed the rest of his glory and the part she wanted most of all. Watching with caution for any signs of waking, she slid the sheet down his thighs and turned her attention to his cock. Even in a state of rest, it was something to behold. Taking a deep breath, Holly prepared to do something she hadn't attempted since her senior year of high school.

Ben Tramer, was the wannabe hipster she'd dated for a short time at the end of her senior year. He was a charmer, and Holly was totally smitten and eager to please.

Two weeks before the end of their high school career, during a party at her best friend, Angela's house, the two of them sneaked out to his old Mustang fastback. With absolutely no preamble, Ben eagerly presented himself to her, and Holly went for it. As she began, she tried to remember all the pointers Angela had given her earlier that day.

Unfortunately, Ben was a little too excited at the prospect of his first blowjob to be patient. Her cautious pace of tentative discovery wasn't enough for him, and he grabbed the back of her head, forcing his length down her throat. Holly's gag reflex was instantly triggered, and she tried to pull away to catch her breath.

The aggressive, seventeen-year-old bag of hormones had been too enthralled to relent, but it didn't take long for Holly to get his attention when the macaroni and cheese she'd eaten for lunch ended up all over his lap. He'd pushed her away, calling her a string of degrading names before Holly slapped him hard across the face and ran from the car. She spent the rest of that weekend hiding in her room.

_Time for redemption,_ Holly thought as she took Edward's soft cock in her hand and squeezed gently. He didn't stir at all, and Holly continued to stroke him with gentle pressure. It wasn't long before she could take her hand away and his dick was standing up on its own, not fully hard but getting there.

Very carefully, Holly moved between his splayed legs and said a quick prayer. She cupped and stroked the soft skin of his balls while licking him from base to tip. Edward emitted a confused groan but still did not wake. She licked her lips and took the large head of his shaft into her mouth. Still drawing from Angela's words of wisdom, she swirled her tongue slowly around the tip. As she worked, not-so-little-Eddie had grown tall, thick, and rigid, standing at full-attention.

She massaged her tongue around and around for a while longer before slowly lowering her head, taking in as much of him as she could, slowly testing the waters. On her way back up, she used the tip of her tongue to caress the vein that ran along the back of his cock. Holly was very satisfied with her progress; this was going much better than it had the last time.

Edward jerked; his stomach muscles clenched when a jolt of pleasure coursed through him and his breathing accelerated. He was groaning and panting, fighting his way out of the darkness of sleep. Through his fog, he gasped, not comprehending the intense heat that filled him. Finally, Edward's eyes shot open, only to find himself blinded by the morning sun. Stunned, he sat up slightly, shielding his eyes.

"Wha-Holly, what's-I," he mumbled gravely, not yet coherent. He groaned and fell back into the pillows when Holly sucked hard as she pulled his engorged cock out of her mouth. He peered up to see her smiling lasciviously.

"Hush now, Mr. Cullen. I'm not finished with your wake-up call. Just relax and let me take care of you."

Edward stared at her with wide, confused eyes but clenched his jaw and hissed with pleasure when Holly grabbed the base of his dick and wrapped her lips and tongue around the tip once again. As she worked him, Edward groaned, gasped, moaned, and arched his back, trying very hard not to thrust himself further into her mouth. It soon become too much to bear and he was uncomfortably close to coming down her throat.

"Holly, baby, you gotta stop. Stop. Stop _now_ or I'm going to lose it. Please, you don't-"

But when Holly opened her throat and consumed nearly his entire length, creating a vacuum effect with her cheeks, Edward lost the control he'd barely had a hold on in the first place. He let out a long, loud moan as his dick spasmed and cum spouted from him like a fountain straight into Holly's throat.

Edward lay still, shell-shocked and breathing hard. When his unexpected, all-consuming orgasm subsided, he scrubbed his hands over his face to regain some of his composure. Rubbing his eyes, he lifted his head, looking at Holly with his mouth hanging open like a dead fish.

Wiping her thumb across her lower lip, Holly smiled bashfully. "Sorry. You were sleeping so peacefully; I shouldn't have woken you. It's just been a fantasy of mine for a while now."

Edward shook his head with a confused, crooked smile. "Get over here," he said, watching hungrily as her naked body crawled on top of him. He kissed her neck and nibbled her ear, wickedly murmuring, "It's your turn now, little girl."

Holly squealed as he quickly flipped them over, positioning himself on top of her. Edward held her hands above her head and forcefully kissed her mouth. It was surprising how much it turned him on to taste himself on her tongue. He broke the kiss, roughly sucking her bottom lip.

He used his hands, lips, and tongue to explore every delectable inch of her body as he worked his way south, taking his time on each of her small but pert breasts. He continued on and when he reached her soft mound, he groaned in anticipation. Helping himself to a sample of the delicacy she had to offer, he licked the length of her slit.

Edward positioned himself accordingly and grabbed her knees, rubbing her inner thighs as he spread her legs nice and wide. Holly gasped when he slid his nose up and down the folds of her labia. He inhaled deeply. Her scent was familiar and deliciously unique to him; it never failed to make his mouth water.

Stirring her up even further, Edward slowly licked and sucked her outer lips before looking up at her with sultry, possessive eyes. "Mine," he growled.

Holly moaned in agreement and pushed herself against his mouth, silently begging him to give her what she wanted so badly. He kissed her wet pussy once more and gave her a devilish smirk before diving in. Licking her from perineum to clitoris, Edward reveled in hearing his name cried out for the umpteenth time in the last twelve hours.

A woman calling his name out in pleasure was something he'd always taken pride in, but hearing it from Holly's mouth, took it to a whole new level of cock-shuddering satisfaction. Spreading her lips wide with his fingers, he devoured her gently but urgently. His arms held her hips in place to keep her from struggling too much as he concentrated on the spots he knew would draw the most pleasure and biggest reaction from her.

Holly's eyes rolled to the back of her head as Edward's ruthless tongue circled her engorged bundle of nerves. He slid two of his long fingers inside her, quickly locating her most sensitive spot. Moaning and whimpering helplessly, Holly rocked her hips against him encouragingly as she grabbed handfuls of his unruly hair.

She would never fully comprehend the power he had over her, or his ability to reduce her to a quivering pile of goo with only his mouth. Never in her life had she experienced anything remotely close to what he could do to her. Edward was a goddamn expert in his own right, and Holly considered herself nothing short of privileged to be on the receiving end.

Soon enough, the familiar warmth started in her groin and worked its way throughout the rest of her core. Her body tensed and her back bowed off the bed as her breathing accelerated in anticipation. With ears ringing and thighs shaking uncontrollably, she was suddenly drowning in wave after wave of over-stimulation. Holly was completely at his mercy as the orgasm shot through her and her body heaved uncontrollably. She arched her back again and hoarsely screamed his name as her surroundings shattered into a million bright lights around her.

Holly was completely sated and practically purring as Edward gently licked her hot, swollen pussy as she came down from the clouds. Her body occasionally convulsed as her nerve endings recovered, and Edward could feel her inner walls pulsing and tightening around his fingers. He pulled them out, licking them clean of her warm sweetness.

He kissed her shaking, inner thighs and moved her legs aside, crawling up the bed toward her. Wrapping her in his arms, he kissed her deeply as he lay beside her. Tasting her and watching her come apart was more than enough for him to become fully hard again, and his cock pressed obtrusively against her.

Still finding her way back from paradise, Holly rubbed his neck and face as she kissed him languidly. Edward grabbed her knee and hiked her leg high around his waist, allowing is rock-hard length to massage her folds, knowing how ultra-sensitive her clit was at that moment.

She hissed through her teeth, relishing the sensation and instantly craving more. She clung harder to him. "Please," she whispered, looking desperately into his verdant, smoldering eyes.

Edward heeded her urgency. In a flash, he rolled over, retrieved a condom from his nightstand, and rolled it on with agility. Holly's legs were open and ready, and he positioned his body between them, poising himself at her slick, tight opening.

He rested his elbows on either side of her head, smoothing the hair away from her damp forehead. Edward lovingly held her gaze and softly groaned as he pushed himself deep inside her.

Moaning with great pleasure, Holly wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer and encouraging him deeper. Edward cradled the back of her head, grabbing handfuls of her hair and nearly exploding prematurely at the feel of the tight, velvety warmth that gripped his cock. Once fully inside, he had to pause to regain his composure, as well as to allow Holly the typical moment she needed to adjust to him.

She trailed wet kisses from his shoulder to his mouth, and began slowly moving against him. Edward acknowledged the green light and began moving inside her with long, deep strokes, his back muscles flexing under her touch. His head was already beginning to swim, and he begged himself to retain some control.

Holly wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, lifting her ass off the bed to meet his thrusts. The slow rhythm was tantalizingly torturous, and her body was worked up from the extensive foreplay; she was eager and ready for more.

Her soft panting became louder, needier, and her nipples had tightened themselves into hard points against his chest. When he began to thrust harder and deeper, Holly closed her eyes and softly cried out against his neck. Edward knew he had her on the brink once again.

Sexually, Edward could read Holly like a book, and he was glad to know he wouldn't have to last much longer. Holly squeezed her eyes shut in delight as he increased his tempo even further, gripping her tightly for leverage.

"Open your eyes, Holly. I want to watch your face; I need to see the way I make you feel," he said in a rough, low voice, slamming into her with every long, hard stroke.

Holly released him, falling back into the pillows. She grabbed his face and forced her eyes open as her body began convulsing harder than ever before. Finally, as her insides combusted in a supernova of light and sensation, she choked out a garbled version of his name as she was propelled through her most rivetingly, intense orgasm yet.

Edward thrust into her once more before he threw his head back, roaring in pleasure as he released inside her in great torrents. Exhausted, he rolled them over, pulling her onto his chest and cradling her in his arms.

They lay, panting and speechless, as Edward stroked her back, their chests heaving against one another. When her mind finally began to clear, Holly tiredly lifted her head to look at him. She was searching for something to say-some words that could aptly express how amazing he was to her, but there simply were none. Even if her brain hadn't been clouded in a post-coital blur, nothing she could say would ever be enough to describe her insurmountable feelings or the undeniable connection she felt toward him.

Edward captured her lips and kissed her tenderly, adjusting himself as he pulled out of her. He stroked her face softly. "You surprise and amaze me every single day, Holly. I can't begin to tell you how much it means that you're still here with me."

Unwelcome tears crept threateningly close, and Holly nuzzled his neck to hide her face. "I couldn't walk away if I tried. You make me feel ... alive," she stated quietly.

Biting his cheek to keep his emotions in check, Edward pulled the sheet up around them and held her tightly against his chest. He wondered how he'd managed, through all the rain, to hold onto such a ray of light. For the first time in way too long, Edward prayed; not to ask for help or guidance, but simply to say thanks.

_**~LStE~**_

Josh rubbed his grainy eyes, not sure how long he'd been blankly staring at the computer screen; he hadn't slept at all the night before. Nothing new or substantial had come their way regarding Alice in far too long and waiting for what he needed was slowly unraveling him. A slave to his insomnia, Josh had spent the night working hard to find something he'd hopefully glossed over-some piece of information he may have missed or overlooked. He scanned and searched, read and reread several documents he'd already gone over a dozen other endless nights.

Searching for the answers he already knew weren't there, Josh pulled up the most current phone records for the prison. For what seemed like the hundredth time, he carefully scanned the information, reviewing any and all outside communication the other Volturi brothers, Marcus and Caius, may have made. The records were clean-impeccably so. Neither Marcus nor Caius had made any outgoing calls, and they'd only received a handful of letters. But nothing from Aro, and nothing that contained enough pertinent information to give Josh the lead he had been praying for.

When his computer pinged, indicating an incoming email, Josh snapped to attention. Frantically, he tabbed through multiple screens until he found his inbox.

He froze.

What he'd been waiting on for _months_ was now staring him in the face-an unmarked email, which contained what he knew would be an untraceable audio file.

He thought for a moment about calling Carlisle into the room before he went any further, but Josh didn't have it in him to wait any longer for the chance to possibly hear his wife's voice again. Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward and opened the email. The message was from Aro himself, and Josh's blood ran cold when the sickeningly serpentine voice poured from the speakers.

"_Greetings, Joshua. It is my greatest hope this message finds you in good health. I apologize for the delay in correspondence, but deciding your fate has proven to be quite the intriguing plight. Allow me to start by telling you that your charming wife is doing quite well; pregnancy truly becomes her as she is positively glowing. _

_"Several months ago, my daughter, Jane, failed to obtain your sister. I confess I was greatly disappointed in her inability, my own flesh and blood, unable to complete a simple task. That was the day I first laid eyes on your wife. When she appeared out of the blue to save your sister, I knew young Holly was the wrong incentive to get what I wanted. After all, you'd thrown her away once before; how could I be certain you'd care enough to track her down? But Alice ... Alice was the key. And because she's in such a delicate _condition_-with twins, no less-that makes the value of my collateral threefold. _

In a flash, Aro's voice changed from soft and whimsical to all business as he went on. _"That brings me to my decision. If you wish to have the chance to save your loving wife and innocent children, you will follow my directions scrupulously. Believe me, nothing would please me more than to involve the entire Cullen clan in our exchange, but _you're_ the one I want. _

_"Between me and my dear brothers, you have ruined three lives; not to mention, the empire we spent our lives building. Destroying you in front of your wife, will be my vengeance. There's no cause for the entire family to be involved; your bride witnessing your execution will be enough. No need to cost any more members of the Cullen family their lives, don't you agree? _

Josh gripped the arms of his chair so tightly that his fingers had grown numb and cold. _Get on with it!_ his mind screamed. Eerily, Aro seemed to have anticipated exactly when Josh would be at his breaking point.

_"Listen to me rambling on. Getting down to negotiations, you should find my demands simple, innocuous, and easy to follow. This Saturday, the twenty-second of September, you will leave your house at precisely five a.m. and drive yourself to Sea-Tac International. Once there, you will make your way to the international concourse. That's all. You need no further details; my men will find you. All you have to do is show up. _

_"When you are finally in my presence, you will trade yourself for your wife. And after you apologize to her for the many ways in which you've failed her, I will end your life. Alice will be released, unharmed, but you ... you will be destroyed in spectacular fashion." _

There was a new air of lunacy in the tone of Aro's voice as he continued, delving further into madness. _"Don't try to be brave, my boy. And do not mistake my kindness for weakness. If you attempt anything other than what I've instructed, I will not hesitate to rip your unborn children from Alice's womb myself before putting a bullet in her skull. I'll send photos of her demise to your family, making it perfectly clear that it was _you_ who failed them with your inability to follow direction. I would advise you heed my warning with earnest intention. In the end, this is a battle you will _not_ win. The sooner you realize that, the better. _

Aro cleared his throat, and his voice was cold and indifferent as he wrapped up his horrid declaration. _"It has all come down to this, Joshua. I trust-_Alice_ trusts-that you'll do the right thing. I look forward to seeing you again, very soon. Ta!"_

Josh stared at the screen, stricken in horror. He knew what the bastard was capable of, and he believed every word of Aro's threat. Replaying the message, Josh grabbed a pen, jotting down notes. He recorded key points in Aro's never-ending speech and pondered how he would pull off his escape in order keep this to himself for the next five days.

He would not involve the rest of the family. Aro was giving him the chance to send Alice home alive without risking anyone but himself. Even if it was all a farce and he killed them both, at least they would die together.

Staring at a blurred reflection of himself in the now-resting computer screen, Josh immediately put those thoughts out of his mind. He would play Aro's game, but one way or another he would get his wife out of there alive. Alice was coming home, and he was more than ready to pay the ultimate price to make sure it happened.

_**~LStE~ **_

Alice stirred from a light sleep when her door creaked open. She sat up as best she could, watching intently as Aro crossed the large, opulent bedroom toward her. She narrowed her eyes in contempt, noticing the grin of anticipation he wore.

"Sorry to bother you, my pet. I just wanted to share the good news with you," he said, sitting on the edge of her bed and crossing his legs as he leaned eagerly toward her.

Alice pressed herself against the thickly padded headboard, wanting to be as far from Aro as possible. "Unless you've come to tell me you've contracted a rare and painful flesh-eating disorder, I'm not interested."

Aro chuckled darkly. "You're wrong, darling. You can be reasonably certain, that at this very moment, your husband is listening to a recording of my demands. He will be here by week's end. Aren't you excited?"

Her protruding belly jerked as Alice's blood pressure instantly shot through the roof. "Josh," she murmured as tears that were never too far from the surface stung her eyes and slid down her cheeks.

"Yes, your precious Josh will be joining us very soon. I can only imagine how anxious he is to see you after all this time. Noble, isn't it. Finally, a way for him to atone for all the ways he's failed you." Aro cocked his head, looking at Alice with what she referred to as his "crazy-eyes."

"Unfortunately, all the hope he carries for your salvation will be shattered before his very eyes when I end your life using three simple bullets." Aro's finger touched her belly twice as he slowly counted off the shots. "One ... two-" Finally his finger landed softly in the middle of her forehead "-three."

Chapter End Notes:

So, Aro finally shows his hand. Creepy, isn't he?

Thanks for continuing to read; I truly appreciate all of you who've taken an interest in this story and its characters.

Thanks to Alice's White Rabbit for being such an encouraging beta. I'm so glad I found her.

Big, squishy bear-hugs to my VB, Kherisma. She's extraordinary, and I 3 her so much.

Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought of Aro, or that super long (sorry 'bout that) lemon in the beginning.

The next chapter is already written and should be posted soon after it goes through the ringer with the beta-chicks.

Until then!


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Chapter Notes:

Hello, all! Hope everyone made it through Monday in one piece. Enjoy the drama that lies ahead. :)

**I do not own _Twilight_**

This chapter is rated R

Chapter Eighteen

The sky was thick with grayish-purple clouds as Holly drove into the city. She hadn't driven alone in a very long time, and the feeling of freedom that came along with it was welcome and wonderful. It blended perfectly with the feelings that already had her in a state of bliss. Her utter elation seemed so foreign, considering everything going on around her, but she couldn't stifle her smile if she tried.

Spending three whole days immersed in Edward did more good for her mind, body, and soul than any amount of therapy ever could, and he only seemed to reflect her sentiments. But with a large chunk of free time ahead of her, Holly decided to take advantage of it. She was currently on her way to meet Jake and Danielle at Stumptown Coffee, a place not far from Jake's apartment near Capitol Hill.

Jake had texted her soon after she woke up, letting her know he was back in town. He was eager to tell her about his weekend and wanted her to meet Danielle-or Dani, as he referred to her. Holly was reluctant to leave paradise and come back to the real world, but Edward received a call from Carlisle about a promising lead in the case, and she knew he was itching to get back to work.

They shared a long goodbye, and Edward promised he would be back at Josh's the next morning. He was meeting Jasper at the firm, and it was much closer for him to go to his apartment when they were finished than back to Josh's. Lord knows it would be at ungodly hour by the time he was done.

Holly had been a little surprised that Josh didn't question her when she finally came home earlier that morning. He was highly preoccupied, and Holly was grateful to have escaped the argument she imagined them having after being gone for so long. As she sat silently in Mike's suburban earlier that morning, she mentally prepared herself for Josh's overprotective backlash, but it never came.

Dusk had settled over Seattle by the time Holly parked in the rear of the coffee shop. She hurried through a moderate drizzle in a rush to get to the warmth and safety of the old building. Once inside, she instantly spotted Jake's huge frame, sitting in a corner booth with the lady who'd stolen his heart. Holly walked to their table with a smile, and he and Danielle stood to greet her. Jake hadn't exaggerated; Danielle was a striking redhead with long, silky hair, porcelain skin, and brilliant blue eyes.

Holly was surprised when Jake gave her a quick but tight embrace and even more shocked when Danielle did the same. She introduced herself, letting Holly know to call her by her nickname, Dani. After placing her order, Holly listened attentively as they took turns telling her all about their jaunt to Salt Lake City with Jake's old friends from law school.

The group, along with their spouses, stayed in a mountain chalet their first two nights, spending most of their time on the slopes. The last night, they packed up and headed downtown to the same cheesy casino Jake and his buddies had been frequenting for years. It was a long-standing tradition to stay at the Wendover Nugget Hotel and Casino, spending the last night of their reunion drinking and losing way too much money.

Holly laughed, picturing it perfectly when Danielle told the story of Jake's drunken attempts to start a conga line with every random, unsuspecting guest that passed him in the casino. He retaliated with hilarious stories of the karaoke maestro Danielle apparently turned into after precisely four shots of bottom-shelf tequila and five cheap cocktails.

By the time they finished their story, Holly's sides were aching from laughter; she had to take a deep breath to regain composure. Danielle's phone buzzed and she groaned, apologizing and excusing herself to take the important call.

When she was out of sight, Holly looked at Jake with a wide, amused smile. "Wow."

"Isn't she amazing?" Jake remarked. "Ugh, she's funny, sweet, and smart but sassy and sexy as hell at the same time. She's a brilliant, gutsy lawyer, too. She's only been practicing for a couple years, and people tend to underestimate her ability, but it doesn't phase her at all. In fact, I've seen her castrate a whole team of veteran defense attorneys with the sweetest smile on her face. She's ... perfect," he said whimsically through a huge, toothy grin.

Jake was thoroughly enamored, and his excitement was infectious. Holly beamed back at him, wiggling her shoulders as she sipped her barely-touched latte. "You've got it bad, Jake. And I gotta say-it's adorable. The two of you are like saccharine overload; I literally want to vomit," she said and giggled as his tanned cheeks turned deep russet; he was visibly glowing. "Congrats, my friend. She's a keeper."

Jake was practically vibrating with the feelings that were so new to him. "We're still new, but I don't know what happened. I'm totally caught up and loving it. A wise woman once told me what an asshat I can be, and if I could, I would thank her for pointing it out," he said, chucking a sugar packet at Holly.

"Aw, you big lug. You're welcome. And if you ever start to freak out, call me; I'll remind you again." Flicking the pink packet back across the table at him, Holly rested her chin on her palm, smiling. "You'll be fine."

They both looked up when Danielle returned. Her delicate eyebrows were pulled together in dismay. She spoke to Jake as she leaned over him to grab her purse and coat. "I'm so sorry, but something just got screwed up with that client they dumped on me last week. I need to go," she said, gracefully throwing on her coat.

Jake stood. "Let me drive you. It's really starting to pour, and-"

"No, you two stay and catch up. I'm just going around the corner; I'll be fine." Dani gave him a quick but meaningful look and kissed him before turning to Holly. "Holly, it was so great to finally meet you, and I really hope we can get the chance to do this again," she said with a smile and fretful eyes.

Holly didn't understand the strange concern emanating from Danielle, but dismissed it as she stood to give her quick hug. "Definitely, and I'm sorry you have to go. I hope everything's okay," Holly said with concern.

Dani smiled at her and turned to Jake again. Holly looked away while they shared another kiss before Dani scurried out the door. Automatically, her thoughts turned to Edward. She couldn't wait to see him again and wished it didn't have to be under her brother's roof.

Holly and Jake chatted for a while longer after Dani left. He inquired about her progress with Edward, and she happily gave him an update, thanking him for his advice, just like he had her. They seemed to be in neighboring bubbles of jubilation, floating high above everyone else.

Later, under the protection of Jake's umbrella, they walked to her car. Holly dug around in her bag for her keys, finally managing to unlock the door. Jake held it open as she climbed in.

"I'm glad you came; it really means a lot to know you approve of Dani," he said, his eyes focused with sincerity.

"Approve? Try love. I couldn't be happier about what she's has done to you. Text me tomorrow if you have time to run."

"I will; I still have a few days of sweet freedom before I go back to work. Be careful driving home in this shit," he said, referring to the hard, steadily-falling rain.

He shut the door and stood back as Holly waved and drove away. His smile quickly became a frown, and he hung his head with a sigh. Shoving his free hand deep in his pocket, he made his way to his own car.

After showering and changing into a cozy sweatshirt and leggings, Holly knew she had to suck it up and check on Josh. Outside, a storm raged and the sound of thunder rolled heavily throughout the house as she made her way down the hall. Poking her head into Josh's office, she sighed. He sat in his chair like a statue, staring at his computer screen.

She murmured a quiet greeting, but his back was to her and he didn't respond. Holly moved further into the room, realizing at once where his mind was. Displayed on the screen of his laptop was a photo of him and Alice. It must have been taken some time ago; Josh looked much younger and Alice's hair was long and sleek. Together, they looked beautiful and carefree.

Josh finally sensed the presence behind him and could see Holly's reflection in the screen. He closed his laptop and sighed. Rubbing a hand over his face, he spoke without looking at her. "Just a question: are you trying to drive me crazy?" he said, more worn out and annoyed than angry.

"Sorry," she said with a contrite half-smile, hugging herself. She drew closer to him, nodding to the closed laptop. "That was a good picture of you and Alice. I barely recognized her with long hair. When was it taken?"

Josh didn't push any further about her little disappearing act. He inhaled deeply and turned to his computer again, flipping it back open. The picture of him and his wife filled the screen, and he slowly exhaled. "Several years ago. It was right after I proposed to her. Esme wouldn't stop taking pictures of us for months after. It annoyed me at the time, but I'm so grateful to have them now."

Walking around his desk, Holly could see a change in Josh, though, she couldn't put her finger on what it was. He looked more haggard than usual but more resolved at the same time. She took a seat on the arm of his large, executive chair. "Will you show me more?"

Gesturing to the computer, Josh gave her free rein. "Be my guest."

Holly smiled and leaned forward, taking control of the scroll pad. His laptop contained a massive collection of pictures; a virtual smorgasbord of life's moments captured by a trigger-happy Esme. Scrolling through photo after photo of Josh, Alice, and the rest of the Cullen family, Holly bit back the unexpected emotion that swelled in her throat.

She surfed through hundreds of pictures; Josh's graduation from law school, as well as Edward's, Emmett and Rose welcoming Sophie into the world, Alice and Josh's gorgeous but incredibly over-the-top wedding, and various barbeques, family outings, and company picnics.

They came to yet another photo of Josh and Alice, and Holly couldn't hold back the peel of laughter that escaped. "Um, excuse me! Is that a faux-hawk?"

Josh gave a half-hearted chuckle. "I thought I deleted all those. Alice thought it'd be a good idea; clearly, it wasn't. Her brothers put me through hell for that one-especially Emmett, of course. Carlisle made me cut it before he would let me be a partner in the firm. Alice was pissed, but I couldn't have been more grateful."

"You toted a hairstyle you hated just because Alice thought it was cute?" Holly asked with a teasing smile.

Josh's miniscule smile faded; his face was soft but pensive. "I would do anything for her."

Feeling like an insensitive jerk, Holly squeezed his shoulder. "I know you would."

Biting the inside of her cheek, she scrolled through the rest of the photos quietly, keeping her reactions to herself. When she made it back to the beginning, Holly stood up and stretched the muscles in her back. Another loud crack of thunder shook the walls, and she stared out the window into the blackness.

Turning back to Josh, she narrowed her eyes, puzzled by the distracted expression on his face. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, trying to decipher the fresh frown he wore.

Before he answered, he looked at his sister for a long minute, as if settling an argument in his mind. "I'm going back to Forks."

Surprised, Holly's face scrunched in curious confusion. "Forks? Why, after all these years?"

"I just have to. I ran away ten years ago and I never went back. I need to go," he said, focusing his eyes on a picture of him, Alice, and Jasper huddled together at a Mariner's game.

Holly perched on the arm of his chair once again. "Josh, you have nothing to prove. There's nothing left for us there but bad memories of a shitty past."

"I'm not trying to _prove_ anything," he stated defensively. Rubbing his forehead with his fist, he sighed. "I need closure, Holly. I need to visit Mom's grave and ... say goodbye to Charlie." Josh's breathing was uneven and he nervously clicked a pen. "I was hoping you'd come with me, but if it's too much for you, I understand."

Holly drew back, studying his face. She couldn't read him at all. "Do you really want to do this?"

Josh stared at his hands as he spoke. "I have to." For reasons Holly could never understand, he was ready to put the past to rest. He needed to say a proper farewell to his old life so he could fight for the future of his family with a clear conscious.

Wedging herself next to him in the chair, Holly embraced him. "It's not too much for me. We'll go whenever you're ready."

"I've got a few things to take care of tomorrow. I'd like to wait until Friday. As long as we leave early in the morning, we should make it back here by dinner," he said, resting his chin atop of her head.

Holly shrugged. "Friday's good."

"Thank you for agreeing to go with me. I know how hard things were for you there."

"I'm happy to go with you. It's just ... unexpected, is all," she muttered, looking at him with concern. A thoughtful smile played across Josh's face and she felt more confused than ever by his odd, ever-changing display of emotion. "What now?"

"I was just thinking. ... Do you remember when we built our clubhouse in the woods-how mad at us Mom was for using all the firewood?" he said, pondering a time and place he hadn't thought about in years.

Holly snorted. "She was _mad_ because we painted all the wood red. Your idea, by the way." She remembered the day clearly. It was typically cold and rainy, and after their mother found them covered in paint, the two of them spent the rest of the afternoon chopping a new pile of wood as punishment. "Man, we spent so much time in that thing. Can you believe it was still there when I left?" She said with a crooked smirk.

Josh raised his eyebrows in surprise. "The fort? You've got to be kidding me," he said, smiling a little wider.

"Heck yeah. That thing was built to last. Whoever owns the land now may have knocked it down."

Josh's smile faded quickly. "For so long, I've held on to this image of Forks as a terrible place where terrible things happened, but I've realized that wasn't always the case," he said quietly. "There were good things, too. Quite a few of them, actually." Various images of his long-forgotten happiness flashed before his eyes.

They would spend hours on end in the dank, wet fort in the woods. Thoughts of their not-so-secret, bright red hideaway warmed Josh's soul. After leaving Forks, he'd never spent one minute being homesick. But ever since he'd received his death sentence from Aro, his mind had been drowning in all manner of memories and reasons to go back home. The floodgates of his subconscious opened and assaulted him from every angle with images of his old life, both fond and feared. His own mind was forcing him to confront all that he'd escaped.

Shockingly, he was finally able to look at the negative parts without stifling them or hiding from them. Josh was no longer afraid of the past; he realized there was nothing left of it to fear. For the first time, the good memories were greatly outshining the bad.

He could practically hear his mother singing to herself in the kitchen as Holly prattled away at her piano and he did homework at the table. Remembering all the good made his heart yearn for the place he used to call home. When Charlie was away at work, their small, two-story house was quiet and warm.

Lot's of positive things had taken place there, but all the good memories had been put away with the bad when Josh left, intending to walk away forever. It had taken the shrinking scope of his own mortality for him to finally show his past the respect it deserved.

After several moments of thoughtful silence between them, Holly hopped off his chair, deciding to give him some space. "I should get to bed; it's been a long day. You should do the same."

Torn from his thoughts, Josh looked at her. "Huh? Oh, yeah. I'll finish up soon." He kept his eyes trained on the desk. "I love you, Hol. You know that, right?"

Holly wrapped her arms around her torso, touched by his regard. "Love you, too," she said in a soft but thick voice. "I'll see you in the morning." She walked to the door and paused, turning to face him again. "And thank you for showing me the pictures. It was nice to get a look at your past here. Goodnight, Josh."

"Goodnight," he murmured after she'd already left, feeling the sting of tears prick his eyes. There were only two days left before Josh would have to leave Holly again. This time for good.

The next morning, it felt too early when Holly's phone began ringing loudly on the nightstand, coaxing her out of a deep sleep. Annoyed that she'd forgotten to switch it to vibrate the night before, she reached for it blindly, yanking it off its charger and pressing it to her ear. "Hello," she grumbled.

Deep, quiet laughter greeted her in return. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

Holly smiled upon hearing Edward's voice. "Morning."

"I'm sorry I woke you. I should have waited to call."

"No, I need to get up. What time is it?" she asked, pulling her phone away to see it was just after eight in the morning. Edward's confirmation of what she'd just figured out flowed smoothly through the speaker on her phone.

"I wish I could be in bed with you right now, but I won't be finished up here until about noon. Carlisle and Josh are meeting us soon. We're going to the police station; it may take a few hours."

"The police station? What's going on?" Holly asked, more alert.

"Nothing yet, but possibly something big. Detective Andrews got word that a guy who was known to work for the Volturi when they were in Seattle was arrested last night. It was for something totally unrelated, and I don't know if we'll be able to talk to him, but we have to try. He may know something about Alice."

"That's great news. I can't wait to hear what you find out. Good luck and be careful," Holly said as hope suddenly returned from the dead.

"I will. Jasper's ready so I have to go, but I'll see you soon," Edward said and paused before adding, "I missed you last night."

Holly closed her eyes, smiling again. "Me, too. See you later," she said softly, and when the line went dead, Holly flung herself back onto her pillows. She stretched her body languidly as she thought about what it'd felt like to fall asleep and wake up in Edward's arms.

The phone vibrated in her hand; two short bursts that signaled a new text message. She propped herself up on her elbow, expecting to see something from Edward, but the text was from Jake.

**_Meet me at the park in 45? Need to talk._**

Holly shook her head with a smile. No doubt, she was in for an utter inundation with copious amounts of gooey Dani details

**_See you then, Romeo. _**

She got out of bed and dressed in her usual running garb. There was an air of anticipation in the kitchen as Esme, Rosalie, and Sophie ate breakfast. The others had left to meet Edward and Jasper at the station. There was a possibility they were about to actually take a step forward in the investigation, and waiting for them to return was torture. As she powered through a yogurt, Holly mentally noted to keep her run with Jake brief so she could be home when they returned.

Mike volunteered to accompany her when he noticed she was heading out, joking that he was getting a potbelly and ready to get back on track after the break she'd given him. Soon, they were at Lincoln Park, and Holly started out on her and Jake's usual route. She ran into Jake about a quarter mile later as he stretched against a tree. Mike hung back a generous distance as he normally did, giving them their privacy.

"Hey," Jacob greeted her from the grassy area where he stood. His smile was tight and he seemed to be nervously avoiding her eyes; this was not the greeting Holly was used to. He was distracted, and she wondered if Dani had anything to do with his demeanor.

"Hey," she replied cheerfully, slowing a little as he joined her on the trail.

Holly waited patiently, hoping to let whatever was bothering him flesh itself out. When Jake didn't respond for several minutes, she glanced at him, confused by the frown he wore.

"Okay, what gives? Why do you look like someone just killed your fish? Is everything okay with Danielle? Wait-don't tell me-you gave her chlamydia and she dumped you," Holly said, attempting to lighten the mood. Usually, a little gross humor was all it took to loosen him up.

Jake rolled his eyes. "No."

"The Clap?"

"Give me a break; I didn't give her an STD. Everything's fine with Dani. Actually, she's one of the reasons I'm here," he asserted before shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut. "Holly, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I need to talk to you before this goes any further."

"What do you mean? With Dani?"

"No! This isn't about Dani. Jesus," he huffed.

Holly laughed and held up her hands in defense. "Okay, all right-yeesh. What exactly _are_ you talking about, then, counselor?"

Jake looked at her wearily, and Holly gave him a real smile to let him know she was only giving him a hard time.

He sighed. "No, Holly. Don't do that," he said, slowing to a walk.

"Do what?" she asked, doing the same.

"Don't smile at me like that. It just makes what I have to say even harder when you look at me like I can do no wrong," he said, his expression conflicted.

Holly was beyond confused. "Jake, you're freaking me out. Just say what you need to say," she insisted.

Jake pulled her by the hand off the paved trail to sit at a nearby picnic table. He sat, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the ground between his feet as he spoke. "You've been a good friend to me, Holly, which is why I need to do this now." He sighed and shook his head sadly. "All my life, I've gotten away with taking the easy way out. I've made a career out of being a terrific liar and never had any qualms about who I was lying to. Until now. I'm not being fair to you or the Cullens, and I need to make it right."

Holly opened her mouth to speak, but her thoughts were stunted as she wondered what on earth he was getting at.

Jake rubbed his forehead. "Fuck, here goes nothing," he muttered angrily to himself before turning his dark eyes back to her. "Holly, what would you say if I told you I might know where Alice is?"

Holly gasped, completely taken aback by Jake's question. She glared at him. "I'd say you're not very fucking funny," she said, waiting for some kind of morbid punch line to follow.

Jake looked nauseous as he stared at her with pleading, guilt-stricken eyes. She realized he wasn't joking.

"What the _hell_?" Holly yelled, scooting away from him. Not wanting to draw attention, Holly lowered her voice to a heated whisper. If she yelled too loud, she'd alert Mike. Holly wasn't ready for Jacob to get his ass handed to him quite yet. "What are you saying to me, Jake? Tell me." Her heart was pounding.

Jake still couldn't look her in the eyes as he explained. "The night of the Open Heart Ball, I was confronted. I went to a bar afterward to unwind. As I was getting into my car to leave, two really big guys approached me," he said and paused a moment to collect his thoughts.

Holly gestured impatiently with her hands for him to continue, but he just looked at her, hesitant to say anything more. She wanted to rip his hair out, but sufficed with punching him in the arm as hard as she could. "What do you know?" she growled through her teeth.

Jake looked at her with wide, honest eyes. "I know nothing! Except ... I think she might be in Florence," he said and finally looked up into her horrified, questioning eyes. "Which is in Italy."

She punched his arm again in frustration. "I _know_ where Florence is, you idiot. What else do you know? What did they tell you?"

Jake spoke in a rush. "They didn't really tell me anything; they were arguing amongst themselves and one of them let something slip. They were _morons_-hired goons. They knew I work at the firm; they wanted information about the Cullens. They also wanted to know about my relationship with you, which at the time, didn't exist.

"I tried to fight them off, Holly. But before I could blink, they each put a gun in my face and assured me they had no problem blowing my head off. I-I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind-that the family stays at the Four Seasons every year after the ball. I didn't _mean_ to say something like that; it just came out. They argued about something after that and one of them said something about "the boss" needing one more ticket to Florence. They didn't even realize they'd slipped. I'm so sorry," he finished, bracing himself for another beating. He instinctively covered his manhood.

Holly was blown away by his confession and betrayal, but most of all, she was absolutely astounded at his idiocy. "The first thing that came to your mind was to tell them where they were _staying_? Why didn't you immediately call someone afterward and warn them? How could you do this to my brother? To me? Jake, you led them right to her! How could you be so _stupid_?" She wrapped her arms around her stomach, doubling over to breathe. "Oh, I think I'm going to be sick. We have to go tell them what you know." Holly grabbed his shirt, attempting to yank him off the bench. He stood but didn't budge any further.

"Holly, wait," he pled, anxiously. "Please understand; they threatened me. They said if I told anyone anything they'd kill my family-my grandparents-and make me watch. I know I fucked up, but I swear to you, it was out of sheer panic."Holly closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. When she looked at Jake again, the pity she'd briefly felt for the Black family was greatly overridden by her anger. "You've been withholding information for months, Jake. _Months! _You should be in _jail_ for this. We're going to my brother's house right now and you're going to tell him everything you know. I swear to God, you have five seconds to start following me before I scream for Mike and arrange for your public execution," she said in an ice-cold voice.

Jake dreaded what now lay ahead for him and watched as Holly turned and walked away, counting loudly. For a split second, he thought about bolting but knew he could never do that. He owed this to the Cullens-to Josh and Carlisle. He owed it to Holly, too. She got to the count of three before Mike appeared in the distance and her threat became real.

Chapter End Notes:

Sorry about the cliffie. What do you think of Jake's revelation? Is he a bad guy or not? Thanks for reading, hopefully I won't keep you hanging too long.

Thank you to Alice's White Rabbit for being a stellar beta and friend.

Big, suffocating hugs to my VB, Kherisma for all your help with this chapter.

Please leave me a review, guys! I love hearing from you!


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Chapter Notes:

I do not own _Twilight_

This chapter is rated R

Hello again! I want to apologize for the delay in posting. Unfortunately, there's a lot of RL stress keeping me occupied right now. I hope to be out of the woods soon, but until then, here is the next chapter for your enjoyment.

Speaking of stress, someone has finally reached his rock bottom. Let's get on with the story, shall we?

Nineteen

"That was fast," Esme said, standing when her husband and three sons filed into the kitchen. Their collective discouragement was palpable.

When Detective Andrews called earlier in the morning, Carlisle, Josh, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper had immediately gone down to the police station. Andrews had received word that a known Volturi cohort was in custody for auto theft. All the guys were anxious to get a break in Alice's case, but thanks to Edward, they didn't get nearly as far as they would've liked.

"Yes, well, the guy we went to question was busy with his attorney when we got there. I let her know we were there to inquire about something unrelated and she stepped aside and let us speak to him. Andrews began questioning the kid, but he wasn't being cooperative. He denied any connection to the Volturi family," Carlisle explained.

Esme waited for him to finish, but Carlisle said nothing more and busied himself with making a cup of coffee. "So that's it?" she asked. This kid was their most promising lead, and by that point, he was their only hope. She knew it was wrong to hang her hopes so high, but it was impossible not to. Something had to give.

"The Detective is positive the kid is connected. He'll be sitting in jail for at least 24 hours so Andrews has a little time to dig for proof. But essentially, yes. That's it for now," Carlisle said, his eyes flicking to Edward, who had unbuttoned his suit jacket and took a heavy seat at the breakfast table. "We can't _force _someone to talk to us."

Esme followed her husband's line of vision and easily picked out the guilt on Edward's face. Her heart sagged. "What happened?" she asked. Emmett snorted angrily, but Esme ignored him and turned to her other son. "Edward?"

Edward's brow creased as he thought of what to say to his mother. He was thankful when Carlisle answered for him. "Rather than leaving the questions to Andrews, Edward took over. The kid was cocky and tight-lipped. Edward pushed him for answers, the kid smarted off, and ... we were kindly asked to leave the station after that," he said and Esme's shoulders fell; the familiar look of hopelessness washed over her features. Carlisle set his coffee on the counter and went to his wife. He brushed the hair away from her eyes. "Don't worry. We'll figure out a way to approach him and get the answers we need."

"Yeah, _without _Edward," Emmett said, grabbing bottles of water for he and Rose and slamming the refrigerator door shut in frustration.

Edward shook his head at his brother's outburst but didn't argue. He knew he'd fucked up but he really hadn't expected the kid to spark his anger so quickly. Edward trusted Andrews's source and had a gut feeling the little low-life knew something that would lead them to Alice. He could _feel_ it.

As soon as the bastard denied his connection to the Volturi and it seemed like Andrews was giving up, Edward jumped on the offensive and didn't relent until things nearly became physical. It was stupid of him to let some piece of shit from the street get under his skin, but the smile on his face as he shot down question after question was too much and Edward lost it.

Deep in his thoughts, Edward mutely heard the slamming of the front door followed by the sound of Holly's voice calling for Josh. Everyone looked up as she came barreling into the kitchen towing Jacob Black by the arm behind her.

Josh approached his sister with his arms crossed. "Holly, Jake? What's going on?" he asked, looking back and forth between them, obviously perplexed.

Holly side-glanced Edward, but quickly averted her eyes when she saw his questioning, speculative glare. Instead, she focused her attention on the backstabber next to her. "Jake has information about Alice that he's been keeping to himself. He knows where she might be," she said, throwing another fleeting glance in Edward's direction.

Everyone seemed to react at once, and Holly pushed Jake forward to take a seat at the nearby breakfast table. Edward gripped the arms of the chair he was sitting in. He'd taken a vacation from his life the past several days, hiding away in his apartment with Holly. That time was much needed and healing, but the vacation was officially over, and Edward's first day back to reality had, thus far, been a rollercoaster.

Every muscle in his body was stiff and rigid as the unexpected appearance of Jake re-detonated the anger that had only just begun to simmer. He did little to mask his rancor and stared Jake down as he crossed the room at Holly's physical insistence.

Jake was about to go for the opposite end of the table, but Edward offered him the seat across from his instead by shoving the chair out roughly with his foot, cutting Jake off en route. Holly stepped back and Jake sighed, turning the chair to face the rest of the room not just Edward.

"Jacob, is this true? Do you know something about my daughter?" Carlisle asked, with gentle but firm authority.

Jake looked around; seven pairs of eyes were on him, confused and imploring. He sighed and dropped his eyes to his feet. "Yes."

Carlisle looked at Josh and stepped back, letting him have control of the situation. Josh swallowed his shock, took a deep breath, and nodded. "All right. Someone get me a recorder. Jacob, you give me every detail of what you know."

Emmett disappeared for only a moment before returning with a tiny digital recorder. Josh took it from him and set it on the table next to Jake. "Go," he instructed gravely.

Closing his eyes, Jake began. He told them every detail of what happened the night of the ball; everything he knew, everything he'd said, and everything he _didn't_ do to try and stop what happened. It was infinitely harder explaining himself to the entire Cullen family than it had been when it was just him and Holly, but he managed to get every word out.

Holly watched Edward from the background as he stared daggers into the side of Jake's head. As Jake ran through his account of spilling information to the Volturi's hired muscle, Edward's anger had gone from hot to ready to combust. His shoulders heaved and his nostrils flared with every breath he took.

When Jake was finished, he lifted his head and looked at Josh. "Like I said, I don't know anything for sure. Josh, I'm so sorry for impeding your investigation."

Before Josh could open his mouth, Edward stood up and slammed his palms on the table, leaning forward as his chair fell onto its side behind him. His rebuke was nearly a snarl. "_Bullshit_ you're sorry. You've been keeping this to yourself for _months_. Fuck you and your apology."

Though Edward was only saying what everyone else was thinking, Josh looked at his brother-in-law wearily. "Edward," Josh said, begging him to contain himself. This could be huge, and in the face of their freshest failure, it was all they had in front of them. He turned back to Jake. "Jacob, I know your family was threatened, but we could've provided protection." Rubbing his face, Josh sat down at the table beside Jake. "What made you seek out Holly? Why didn't you just come to us when you finally felt compelled enough to say something?"

Feeling Edward's fiendish glare on the side of his face again, Jake opened his mouth to talk but didn't say anything. He knew Holly didn't flaunt their friendship around Edward but wasn't sure if everyone else was as oblivious. He raised his head, looking to Holly for help.

Josh turned to his sister; the confusion was clear on his face. Holly rolled her eyes, embarrassed to have to explain something that should've never been an issue in the first place. "Jake and I bumped into each other at the park a few months back. We've been running together ever since. I thought we were friends; I guess he felt more comfortable telling me first," she said.

Jake looked into her eyes, pleading his apology but Holly turned away, refusing to get sucked into his guilt.

Josh was overwhelmed and didn't know whether to let himself get side-tracked by the curveball of Holly and Jake or not. Carlisle noticed his confusion and placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head slightly when Josh looked at him. Mike, Holly's chaperone, had reported everything to Carlisle since the beginning. He'd known about the friendship between the two since the very first day. Mike was always present when they took their runs, and Carlisle didn't feel the need to bother Josh with it as it was inconsequential to the investigation. Holly was safe and Josh had enough to deal with. He had always been aware of the ongoing tension between Edward and Jacob, but as far as he and his practice were concerned, their rift was trivial. Jacob was an exemplary employee, a fantastic attorney, and someone Carlisle had come to trust him, both personally and professionally.

Edward kicked the fallen chair out of his way and walked around the table. He hovered, threateningly over Jake, glaring down at him. "You done?"

Shame prevented Jake from holding Edward's glower; he looked down at the ground again, nodding once.

"Good," he growled through clenched teeth.

Edward shoved past Jake and gave Holly a wide, exaggerated berth when she reached for him. He fled up the stairs with quick, heavy steps, and the sound of his door slamming echoed throughout the house. His exit was quickly dismissed by everyone _but_ Holly, and the focus was turned back to Jake as Josh continued the inquisition.

Holly's knees turned to jelly at the sting of Edward's reaction to her; she felt like she'd just been slapped in the face. Angry at being misunderstood by Edward, she quickly backed out of the room to follow him. Climbing the stairs two at a time, she reached the top and quickly crossed the hall, pushing his door open.

The room was empty, and there was a black canvas bag lying open on the bed with several articles of clothing tossed on top of it. Something clattered from the en suite bathroom and caught her attention. Edward emerged a moment later with an armload of toiletries, dumping his haul into the bag. He gave her a swift glance but continued on, pulling stacks of shirts and underwear from the nearby dresser.

"What the hell are you doing? Where are you going?" she asked, gesturing to the bag.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here," he said bitterly, not meeting her eyes.

Holly moved to the side of the bed, closer to Edward. "Why? You can't leave now. You should be downstairs, questioning Jake." Edward growled at the mention of Jake's name, forcing his clothes into the bag with greater force. Holly shook her head, incredulous. "Please tell me this is about Alice and not about me and Jake being friends." Edward gave her a hard look in return, letting her know she'd hit the nail on the head. "Edward, you don't understand-"

"No. I get it. I understand _perfectly_. Jake betrayed you, and you betrayed me_. Got it."_

"Don't be ridiculous. I didn't-" Holly stopped herself, pressing her lips into a tight line. She needed Edward to focus on the subject of _why_ she'd brought Jake over to begin with, not her friendship with him. Engaging Edward in an argument would be pointless in his current state of mind. "Jake is a friend-_was_ a friend. That's all. I didn't tell you about it because I knew you didn't like him. I didn't want you to get upset over nothing, because that's exactly what it is-_nothing_!"

Enlightenment dawned on Edward's face. "So that's what happened," he murmured, ignoring her declaration. It wasn't a question, it was an acknowledgement. "That's why you stopped asking me to run with you; because of _him_," he said, unable to believe he'd never seen it coming. Holly's hands were suddenly reaching for his, but he pulled away from her, cutting her off before she could speak. "Please ... don't."

His words, his actions, his entire disposition cut into her like a knife, but Holly's frustration only grew when Edward returned to his busywork. He didn't want to hear what she had to say, and inside, her anger began to mix with panic. "Edward, please! You're reacting to the wrong information here. Don't be upset over something as _stupid_ as this; you have more important things to focus on right now."

Edward zipped up his duffle bag and roughly shoved it aside, throwing his hand in the air. "Yet all I can think about is _you_, running off to be with that asshole." It took everything he had to keep his anger in check, and he took several deep breaths to attempt to calm himself. He wanted to punch something; he wanted to demolish the entire room. Instead, he met her incredulous expression head on. "You ran from me, Holly. You ran to _him_," he said, shuddering as unwelcome visuals of Holly and Jake together in every scenario possible flooded his vision.

His mind's eye ran free, conjuring up wild images from his worst nightmares. Holly and Jake meeting at the park to be together, holding hands and laughing while he stayed behind like an asshole and counted the minutes to her return; the two of them hooking up in the office on the days Holly would go to the firm with Esme. The though of Jake's hands roaming her naked body-the body he knew so well-made him ill. The last thought he tortured himself with before snapping out of it, was of Holly, clinging to Jake with her legs around his waist while he fucked her hard against the wall of a random conference room. Jake was capable of anything, and as far as he was concerned, anything _was _possible.

Holly ground her teeth. The way he looked at her, cold and accusing, was like something from a deranged alternate universe. "I didn't run with him to get away from _you, _Edward. I should have told you about it the first time I saw him, but I didn't," she said, sighing heavily. "Look, running is an _escape_ for me; it's been the only separation I've had from all of this. But that would be true whether I was with Jake or not. You act as if I told you we slept together for Christ's sake." Edward stared at her but didn't respond and Holly's eyes grew wide. "Is that what you think happened between us? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"How the fuck should I know what you've been doing with him for the past _few months_?" he said with a sneer, throwing Holly's earlier words back at her. He took a step toward her. "Come on, Holly. Tell me about it. Was he good? Did he fuck you hard, make you come? Did you scream out his name the way you do mine?"

"Stop it!" she screamed. "We didn't _fuck_, Edward. How can you even think that of me?"

Edward immediately turned away from the anger and horror in Holly's eyes. He'd gone too far and he knew it. After what he'd just accused her of, pushing her any further would be unproductive and antagonistic. But he wanted her to feel at least a portion of what he was feeling. "Well, by all means, don't let me stand in your way anymore," he said quietly. Speaking was getting harder as the knot in his throat grew larger.

Holly watched Edward sling the bag over his shoulder and head for the door. She followed him, nearly growling at his gumption. "Fuck you. I brought Jake here because he had information about Alice. I was trying to help. I'm sorry I kept you in the dark, Edward. I'm sorry I needed an escape, an outlet for whenever you would hide yourself away. All I've _ever_ wanted was to help you, but you're too fucked up to see that.

"Jesus, every single day of the past four months has been a fucking mystery with you. I never know where your head's going to be from one day to the next," Holly said, speaking to the back of Edward's head. She threw her hands up, feeling like she was wasting her breath; he wouldn't even look at her. The anger inside ignited her tears and they trailed shamelessly down her face. "After the last few days, I thought I had a better idea of where we stood, but I was wrong. You don't trust me at all."

Edward grabbed a handful of his hair before finally turning around to face her. "And even after the last few days, you couldn't wait to run off and be with him again," he said, watching as she resigned herself to the argument in frustration and dropped her head into her hands. Her shoulders softly heaved, and seeing her fall apart was killing him. But it didn't change how much she'd hurt him. "All this time, Holly. All this _fucking_ time. Every time I felt like I was at a breaking point-like I couldn't take anymore of this _shit_-I would think about how luckyI was that I had you to turn to." His heart felt like it was in a thousand pieces as he spoke. "I guess you didn't feel the same. And when things got to be too hard, too depressing, you turned to _him_ ... not me. That's the part I can't get past." Edward shook his head. "I _know_ Jake. I could've told you that one way or another, he'd find a way to hurt you. Turns out, he was fucking us all."

Holly stood, shaking and unable to speak. She pressed her palm against her mouth, unable to bite back the loud sob that escaped.

Edward turned away from her one last time as he clenched his jaw and spoke through his own pain. He put his hand on the doorknob, already hating himself for the line he was about to cross. "Your brother was right all along ... about us. Whatever's going on here isn't a good idea. I should have never let myself get wrapped up like this. I'm sorry." His voice broke on the last word as he opened the door.

Holly's voice shuddered and cracked through her tears. "You're a coward."

Edward paused but didn't turn; his face twisted in pain as his insides shrivel up and turn to dust. Without looking at her, he exited the room, closing the door behind him. He made his way through the hallway and back down the stairs.

His anguish instantly morphed back into anger as the sound of Jake's voice down below reached his ears. He flew past Rosalie on her way up the stairs, barely registering the sound of her voice as she asked what the hell was going on. When he reached the foyer, Edward stopped and stared at everyone gathered in the living room. A veil of red stole his vision when he looked at Jake's downcast, remorseful expression.

He couldn't resist. Dropping his bag at the archway that separated the living room from the foyer, Edward quickly crossed the room. Before anyone could react, he drew his arm back and swung as hard as he could, enjoying the pain, as well as the sharp, satisfying crack when his fist made direct contact with Jacob's face.

Esme screamed and Emmett and Josh moved quickly to get ahold of their brother, but Edward easily shook them off and stalked out of the room with as much haste as when he'd entered. He retrieved his bag and disappeared out the front door, slamming it behind him

Later that evening, as the sun set over Seattle, the light grew ever dimmer in Edward's downtown apartment. He sat on his couch with his left hand submerged in a wine bucket filled with ice and stared blankly at the television. Hoping to numb his mind, as well as his hand, Edward took a long pull off a bottle of fine, single-malt scotch-last year's Christmas gift from Carlisle. He planned on drinking until he couldn't see straight, and the alcohol had already begun to take its affect.

Shifting to set the bottle on the coffee table, Edward groaned at the pain the movement caused his hand. His groan morphed into a growl when the sharp, insistent knocking at his door began. "Jesus Christ, Rosalie," he grumbled aloud. He should have seen this coming after ignoring the twenty-something phone calls she'd made to him since he'd stormed out of the house earlier. The woman was relentless.

Giving in, Edward cursed loudly. He could only ignore Rose for so long before she started drilling through the wall. He gingerly took his hand out of the ice and brought his bottle with him to answer the door.

Rosalie barged in the second she heard the deadbolt unlatch, charging past him.

"Why don't you come in, Rose?" he said sardonically. "I'm shocked you're alone."

Rosalie spoke over her shoulder as she waltzed down the hall. "Of course, I'm alone. Everyone else has more _importan_t things to do right now-things that you should be involved in." She spun around and glared at him, resting her hands on her hips. "Look at me, Edward. I'm going to say this to you, and I sincerely hope it's not the first time you've realized it today. _You_ are an asshole."

Edward blinked at her. The whiskey-induced fog was thick and had settled nicely in his head. "Yes, I've noticed. Thank you," he mumbled, walking back to the living room in need of his ice.

"Good! I'm glad you have," Rose replied, marching after him. Her lips were tightly pursed, but she gasped at the sight of Edward's incredibly swollen hand. "Jesus, look what you've done to yourself," she said and rolled her eyes when he carefully buried his damaged extremity in the bucket of ice. "You're doing that wrong. Let me help you."

Rose was gone in a flash, searching the kitchen drawers until she found what she needed. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing Rosalie would just leave. But when she came back into the living room armed with a clean towel and an ace bandage, he mutely allowed her to care for his hand. It was easier to just go along with whatever Rose said when she was in this kind of mood.

She tsked and sighed, shaking her head as she carefully wrapped his hand, securing the bandage with a butterfly clip. "Can you even move your fingers? The least you can do is go to urgent care and get some X-rays."

"It's fine," Edward said robotically, growing impatient as she took her time placing ice cubes in the center of the towel.

"Do you even realize how thoroughly you've fucked up? I wasn't even _referring_ to what you did to Holly when I called you an asshole."

Edward looked at her sharply. "Then why are you stalking me? Can't I have a decent fucking pity party without at least one member of the family up my ass, telling me things I already know? Can't any of you _ever_ just mind your own business?"

Rosalie frowned at him and slammed the homemade ice pack down on Edward's hand. "See what I mean? You're an asshole!" she yelled.

Every muscle in Edward's body tensed and his hand screamed in pain as he cussed Rosalie up and down incoherently through his teeth. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose, growling and glaring at her from across the coffee table. "Fuck you, blondie!"

"No, fuck _you_, Edward. If you wouldn't have punched Jacob Black in the face and run out like a psycho, you would know why his telling us _now_ was a good thing. That attorney you guys spoke to today? She's Jacob's _girlfriend_. Before you attacked him, he was planning to explain the situation to her. He sounded confident that she could help us figure out how to prove the guy really _is _a part of the Volturi's guard. She can only do so much, and it may be a longshot, but it's all we have, Edward. But once again, you had to make it all about yourself. Your goddamn temper may have blown everything. I guess we'll have to wait until Jacob gets released from the _hospital _to find out if he's still willing to help us."

Edward hissed as he adjusted the homemade icepack on his hand. "Hospital?" he asked as the searing pain began to soften to a dull throb.

Rose nodded, taking a deep breath and speaking in a more reasonable tone. "Broken nose. You'll be lucky if he doesn't sue the shit out of you or press charges. Part of me thinks you deserve it."

Edward snorted. "Please, Rosalie. Call it a crime of passion; defendant under duress; mental instability; temporary insanity. There's not a judge in Washington who'd hold me responsible for that punch," he said, taking another long drink from his bottle. He wiped his sleeve across his mouth, smirking at the idea of Jake with a cast on his face.

Rose shook her head hopelessly. "Honestly, you have nothing to smile about. You've hurt and disappointed a lot of people today and possibly sabotaged the only real lead we've had in months. You should think long and hard about that, you selfish prick."

The proud smirk left Edward's face as quickly as it had appeared when he thought about the failure of their investigation up to that point. Jakes revelation was huge, and Alice needed him to be at his best. Instead, his strained emotions ran away with him. He overreacted and fled to his apartment, drinking, sulking, and rendering himself completely useless to everyone. Alice would be so disappointed in him.

If that weren't enough, he had thoroughly and completely destroyed things with Holly. Thinking about it made the scotch rise painfully in his throat; the things he said to her, the _way _he talked to her. The thought of her and Jake together still had the power to conjure fresh feelings of rage, but his anger was all for nothing and he knew it.

And goddammit if Jake didn't have a girlfriend.

Rose stood up and pulled on her jacket. "I think I'm done here. I just thought you should know what you missed. I'm not even going to lecture you about the _other thing_, but I sure as hell hope you do the right thing when you decide to deal with her," she said, hoping he could read between the lines.

Edward knew she was talking about Holly, but he only stared at her in return. There was nothing he _could_ say.

"You told me you love her, Edward. Figure out what that means to you and fix it before it's too late. This isn't the first time Holly's been left behind; she'll survive. The question is, will you?" There was a moment of heavy silence, and Rose made an audible sound of disgust when Edward made no move to answer her. She fished her keys out of her purse, slinging the bag over her shoulder. "Enjoy your pity party, drink yourself into oblivion, and do whatever the hell you need to do. Because tomorrow, you need to snap out of it, apologize to Jacob, and clear the fucking air so we can get this show on the road. Alice is still out there, and I'm not going to stand by and watch you piss away another opportunity to find her."

She whirled around and only the sound of her heels clacking on the hardwood floor could be heard echoing down the hallway.

Edward stared at his bandaged hand and thought about what Rosalie said. He wasn't used to feeling jealous and found that he didn't like it at all. Rubbing his good hand over his face, he thought again about the terrible, stupid things he'd said when that jealousy had taken over his mind.

He did love Holly, and being apart from the person he loved most was not an option; though, he'd boldly presented it to her as the _only_ option just before walking out on her. Edward wanted to tell her he was sorry-beg for her forgiveness-but something told him not to go to her yet. How could he after what had taken place? Holly would likely break _his_ nose if he tried apologizing or communicating with her so soon after he'd lit the fuse and ran.

Regardless, before he could even think about all the ways in which he needed to fix things with Holly, Edward had to do what was best for Alice. He also had to make things right with Jake-professionally, at least. Something big was happening; he felt it like lightning in the city jail earlier that morning, and after hearing what Rosalie had to say, he could feel it now. He would do whatever it took to see the investigation through to the very end, whatever ending that might be.

Edward sighed heavily, thoroughly exhausted with himself. "You're a goddamn mess, Cullen," he muttered aloud, grabbing his scotch off the coffee table and chugging the remainder of the bottle.

Chapter End Notes:

Thank you for reading.I hope you review and tell me everything you're thinking, good, bad, and ugly.

Now, let's keep in mind that, while there have been a handful of happy times, Edward's been treading water for months. His biggest fault is that he doesn't know how to cope with his emotions and it shows in everything he does. The jealousy was a manifestation of his inability to make sense of his feelings for Holly on top of everything else.

Thank you to Alice's White Rabbit for doing twice the work. Once again, she's been nominated for an award based on her exemplary skills as a reviewer! The woman loves her fanfic and always gives love to the author.

Big thanks to Kherisma for dealing with a cannon as loose as me. Do check out her collabo with Discordia called _Lose the One You Love_. It's brilliantly angsty and worth the ride, I promise ;)

Take care, everyone! And thanks for reading!


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Chapter Notes:

This chapter is rated R.

I do not own _Twilight._

Well, after Edward's big blow up, it's time to head to Forks. A song called Felony Flats by Anya Marina really set the tone for this chapter for me, especially for Josh and what he's about to face. You can't really move forward, until you deal with what's behind you. It's a great song about facing the deamons in your past so check it out. I'll provide a link at the end of the chapter.

Anyway, enjoy!

Twenty

Holly watched the walls of her bedroom grow lighter as the sun rose over the city. Her eyes were grainy and swollen from the tears that fell endlessly during the night. Still wearing the previous day's clothes, Holly's body ached with stiffness. Her head throbbed as she lay in the middle of her bed replaying the fight she had with Edward the day before.

He'd never looked at her the way he did last night. Edward was so far beyond pissed; he was hurt, betrayed, and angry-all at her expense. What he thought happened between her and Jake couldn't be further from the truth, but he was too far gone to be told otherwise. Now, Holly was pissed. How could he think she would do something like that? He knew her better than anyone else did; did he really believe she could be so cold? Realizing that the answer was yes, he did believe it, was dreadful. After everything they'd been through, Edward didn't want her anymore.

Holly squeezed her eyes shut, but there were no more tears to cry. Knowing Josh would come for her soon to take their journey to Forks, she decided to get up and at least try to make herself look human. While her brother was ready to return to the past and face the demons he ran from a decade ago, all Holly wanted to do was close the curtains and lay in her dark room until the ache in her heart made her mind numb enough to function. She rolled to the side of the bed and sat up, her clothes twisting around her body.

"Holly, are you awake yet?" Josh asked, lingering at the door of his sister's bedroom. When she didn't respond, he entered the room and sighed when he saw her sitting on the edge of her bed, her back toward him. "We should get a move on. I'd like to get out of the city before the morning rush." He didn't know exactly what happened between her and Edward, but he was sure it had a lot to do with Edward's grand finale and Jacob's broken nose.

Holly turned her head, acknowledging his presence. "Just give me a minute to shower. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Jesus, Holly," Josh murmured, moving further into the room. Her haggard, empty expression shocked him. "What the hell happened last night?"

Avoiding his eyes, Holly stood and walked past him toward her bathroom. "I'll be down in twenty minutes." Her tone was stoic and detached.

Josh watched her enter the bathroom and shut the door. He sighed again and left her room, making his way downstairs. If there was ever a time for Edward to man-up and realize his feelings, it was now. Josh knew there was a possibility he might not be around to take care of Holly much longer, and it would be nice to know that someone would be there for her.

In the kitchen, Esme was busy preparing breakfast for Carlisle and smiled warmly when Josh sat at the counter. "Good morning, Joshua. Can I fix you something?" she asked, already taking more eggs out of the carton.

"No, thank you. Holly and I will be leaving soon; we'll eat on the road."

"That's right. Carlisle told me you were going to Forks today." Esme discarded the broken eggshells in the trash and wiped her hands on a towel. "I'm so proud you've decided to get some closure. I think it's very brave of you to go. It'll be good for the two of you to get out of here for a while."

Josh nodded in response, feeling the dread build in his chest. Leaving the family just when things were starting to pick up was hard. Although, he planned to have Holly back home that evening, Josh himself would not be returning. He'd made arrangements to stay the night at a hotel near the airport so he could meet Aro's henchmen early the next morning.

So much had been on his mind since getting Aro's message, and most of it had to do with Alice. He hadn't given much thought to it before, but as his departure loomed only hours away, he found himself wondering what the rest of the family would think when he didn't come back home. He was certain that everyone, especially Holly, would think that he'd abandoned them. The hurt and disappointment they would feel was excruciating to think about. Josh didn't plan on making it back, but he hoped and prayed he would be sending Alice back home to the family instead.

Esme misread his thoughtful silence. "Don't worry, honey. We'll keep you updated if anything happens while you're gone; I'll make sure of it. You just concentrate on what you need to do," she said, pouring coffee into two thermal cups for him and Holly.

He looked into her loving, concerned eyes and his heart broke even more. "Thank you, Esme. Thank you for everything. I don't think I've ever expressed my appreciation for all you've done for me. You've been nothing but wonderful since the day I met you. And even now with Holly. . . . Thank you for accepting her into this family. It's been a very long time since she's had a mother-figure in her life, and I'm glad she has you."

Esme's brow softly knitted, but she figured the sudden show of emotion was due to his impromptu trip and all he must be feeling because of it. "Of course. You're my son; I've always loved you as my own. And Holy has become invaluable to me," she said with gentle affirmation. "She helped me get back on my feet and muddle through the daily grind. The rest of the world continues to turn even when mine stops, and she helped me see that. I don't know what I would've done without either of you."

The love Esme held for him and his sister shone in her eyes, and Josh could hardly bear it. He looked away from her and swallowed around the boulder of emotion that was lodged in his throat, grateful when Carlisle entered the kitchen and interrupted them.

Esme continued working on her husband's breakfast while Carlisle gave Josh an outline of his plans for the day. Right after breakfast, he would contact Jacob and try to make amends. Best-case scenario, Jake would still be willing to work with them, and Josh knew if anyone could convince him, it'd be Carlisle.

Once things with Jacob were settled, Carlisle planned to speak to Edward. He wasn't happy with his son or his actions, and intended on making himself clear. If Edward couldn't rein in his emotions or be conducive to the investigation, he'd be sitting on the sidelines. While Carlisle empathized with his son's inability to cope with his feelings, they could no longer afford to have an unpredictable live wire on the team.

Josh checked his watch just as Holly came down the stairs and into the kitchen. The hood of her jacket was pulled up and sunglasses covered her eyes. At some point, he would have a talk with her about what happened, but it wasn't yet time for that. They needed to hit the road. "Ready?" Josh asked.

"Ready," Holly replied, thanking Esme when she handed her the cup of coffee she'd prepared. She muttered her goodbye and continued on to the foyer and out the front door.

Both Carlisle and Esme looked at each other and Josh shrugged. "I guess we'll see you later," he said and followed Holly out the door.

Esme shook her head in disappointment. Rose had given her the gist of what happened between Holly and Edward before he stormed out. "I could just strangle our son right now. Edward's become someone I barely recognize. I don't know what to do anymore."

Carlisle reached across the counter and placed his hand over hers. "Edward will come around. He'll have to if he wants to continue to be a part of this; we need all hands on deck right now," he said, releasing Esme's hand and digging into his omelet.

Shortly after taking the ferry across the sound and leaving the city limits, Holly fell asleep in the passenger seat of Josh's Denali. She didn't stir until the sound of heavy rain pounded against her window, shaking the walls of her consciousness. She opened her eyes and sat up with several hard blinks.

"Hey, you're awake," Josh said, taking his eyes off the road briefly to glance at her.

Holly stretched, softening the kink in her back. She felt much better; her head no longer throbbed and her vision was clearer. The sleep did her body good, but she couldn't hide in its embrace forever. The pain still cut into her like a dull knife as memories of the night flooded her mind.

So much had happened in such a short time. She'd been betrayed by her only friend outside the family and, in turn, betrayed the only man she ever loved. Edward walked away from her, leaving Holly with a gaping hole in her chest where her heart should be. All that remained of it was a painful, festering wound she knew would never heal without him.

Through the rain, the landscape surrounding them slowly became familiar, and Holly knew they were deep in the Olympic Rainforest. She stared out the window, hating herself for what she felt in her soul. She needed Edward and Edward needed her. He was etched into her bones. "How long was I out?" she asked.

"About three hours; we'll be in Forks soon." Josh glanced at Holly. She'd drawn herself into a bundle, hugging her knees. Of all days, he needed his sister then more than ever before. Not only was he saying goodbye to his parents and old life, he was essentially saying goodbye to her. This was quite possibly the last day they'd spend together, and his last chance to tell Holly how much he loved her.

Holly and Josh rode in silence for the short remainder of their journey. When they finally crossed the line into Forks, Josh was amazed. He expected there to be some changes, assumed things would have progressed over the years. Instead, the town he once called home had remained perfectly preserved, waiting for his return.

As they drove through the city streets, he took in the sights around him. The diner his family ate at every weekend and the barbershop where his mother took him as a child were still there. The colorful splashes of the peninsula's Native American heritage, the flatbed trucks stacked with huge trunks of maple and spruce, and the old high school were exactly as he remembered. They were like snapshots taken directly from his memory.

"You hungry?" Josh asked, pulling up to the familiar diner, but Holly was lost in her own thoughts. He cut the engine and turned in his seat to face her once again. "Okay, I don't know what happened last night that's got you upset, but-" Josh waved a hand in front of her face as she stared out the windshield "-Holly, can you look at me?"

Holly blinked and reality snapped into focus. She stored her emotions as best she could and turned to face her brother.

Josh took her hand, his eyes pleading. "I _need_ you today. I need you here with me. I spent a lot of time not being there for you, and I have no right to ask this much of you but _please,_ help me get through this. I can't do it alone."

Squeezing her brother's hand, Holly shook Edward from the forefront of her brain. "I'm sorry; I'm here. _We're_ here. In Forks."

It wasn't much, but Josh gave her a weak smile in return. "Thank you. Now let's get out of the rain. We'll get some breakfast and figure out the rest of the day," he said, looking expectantly at Holly, waiting for a response.

Mustering up something that resembled a smile was harder than she would've thought, but she managed and Josh seemed satisfied. As soon as he exited the SUV, Holly's features fell right back into place. Being insincere was hard work and she was exhausted all over again. Holly stepped out of the vehicle and followed her brother into the restaurant, feeling guilty for wishing they could have postponed this whole thing for another day.

The smell of maple syrup and meat on the griddle overwhelmed Holly as she and Josh made their way to a corner booth. Her stomach churned, but despite her lack of appetite, Holly made her best effort to remain in the moment with her brother and focus on getting him through his reconciliation. She studiously picked apart her napkin as Josh ran through the itinerary. He decided they'd visit their old house before heading to the cemetery to pay their respects.

The rain stopped and the sun made a hazy appearance as Josh ate a hearty breakfast and Holly forced down some toast. She noticed a few gray-haired men staring at them from their seats at the counter, and Holly knew if she stared hard enough, she would recognize them, as well. Josh didn't seem to notice their audience, and Holly decided to ignore them. She listened tentatively as Josh went on about what he missed, what he remembered, and what he'd never forget until he finally finished his meal and paid the check.

Leaving the diner, Josh drove them across town and down the poorly paved street where their white, two-story house stood. It was set back from the rest of the houses on the street but still stood out from all the others. The lawn was wild, grown over with moss-coated ferns and tall grass. The house itself seemed to have become one with the thick forest that surrounded it.

"Wow," Josh muttered, stepping out of the SUV. He walked through the thick brush and stood in the middle of the front yard. Staring up at the house, he seemed to be in awe that the structure still existed.

Holly walked over and stood next to him, zipping up her jacket. She stuck her hands in her jacket pockets and tapped the **For Sale **sign with her foot. "Still empty," Holly said.

"Yeah. Should we break in?" Josh side glanced her and laughed when a brief but real smile crossed Holly's face and she rolled her eyes.

"Come on; let's go try to find the fort," Holly said and Josh followed her as they walked around the house and started out toward the wall of trees. Together, they hunted for any sign of the muddy trail they'd used as kids to access the rainforest. Holly spotted it, and it wasn't long before the remnants of the well-overgrown path led them straight toward the sanctuary they'd built together. Time and moss had turned the clubhouse from brick red into brilliant emerald and one corner was collapsed, but the siblings recognized the structure in an instant.

Josh took long, quick strides toward the soggy pile of wood. "I can't believe this. I can't believe it's still here," he said, stepping over a low, toppled-over wall.

Holly watched his wonder and it warmed her. She took a seat on a fallen tree near the fort, not caring about the dampness that soaked through her jeans. "Josh, I'm ... I'm really glad you wanted to come back. And I'm glad I'm here with you."

Josh smiled at his sister. "Thank you for coming. I mean it," he said and thought a moment. His eyebrows drew together. "Holly, you know I love you, right?"

The question was unexpected, and Holly nodded, feeling her cheeks grow warmer despite the chill of the canopied forest. "Yeah, sure. I love you, too-you know that. Things have been crazy for you-for everyone. I can't wait for Alice to come home and all this to end," she said, staring at the ground between her feet, unsure if that was even a possibility at this point.

Josh stepped out of the fort and sat next to her on the log. "Regardless, I love you. You're welcome to live at my house as long as you want. Forever, even. And, the Cullens ... they love you, too. Please know that they're a part of your life now. They _are_ your family."

Holly grew uncomfortable. His words and the way he spoke them were enough to shell-shock her fragile heart. "_You're_ my family, Josh," she choked out quietly, wondering how in the hell she was supposed to stay with him now. Staring at the ceiling all night made Holly realize the need for a plan once the madness ended. She'd still have her brother whenever she needed him, but continuing to live as a member of the Cullen family would only make everyone else's life harder.

Josh looked at her for a moment before pulling her against his chest, whispering, "They love you as much as I love you."

After a long moment, Holly patted his arm and pulled back. They sat in silence and stared at their old play place. "I guess we failed as contractors," she said and chuckled at the dilapidated fort.

Josh smiled and shrugged. "I don't know. This pile of wood has been sitting here for over fifteen years. Not bad for a couple of brats," he replied and looked around, taking a deep breath. "You ready to get out of here?"

"Yes. My butt's soaked and I'm freezing." Holly stood and made her way back on the trail.

Josh stood, as well, and shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat. He took in one more panoramic view before heading out of the woods and bidding farewell to his childhood forever.

Without luck, Josh and Holly poked around the outside of the house, trying to find a way in. The doors and windows were locked and the shades were drawn. The longer Josh stood outside his old home, the colder her became. A chill crept into his bones at unwelcome thoughts of Charlie at his worst, and Josh announced he was ready to leave. In the woods, he was surrounded by the happiest of memories, and that was the only part he needed to take with him.

They took off from the house and drove back across town, turning onto the 110 that would lead to La Push and its beaches. It was still early, and without much effort, Holly talked Josh into visiting the beach they grew up on. Though the temperature was barely twenty degrees above freezing, the sun shone brightly from the middle of the rare blue sky and Indian summer enveloped the peninsula. Ignoring the sheer drop beside her, Holly watched as the sea of sapphire crashed against jagged cliffs.

They parked at First Beach and got out of the SUV. Holly picked up several rocks as they made their way to the water. A couple local boys ran past, cutting off their path, with a ball flying between them. Holly smiled and stepped out of the way when the beefy one tackled the tall, lanky one. Both had the beautiful skin, eyes, and hair of the natives, reminding her of Jacob-especially the beefy one.

Holly wished she could flick Jake from her brain and send his memory into orbit, but it wasn't so easy. She wanted to hate him for lying to her, but she couldn't and she didn't know why. Why did he have to ruin everything? And why, for once in her life, couldn't she listen to someone when they warned her about something? Holly pondered all of this but didn't have any answers. She'd really trusted Jake and would miss what they had. Whatever Jake's role was in all this, Holly prayed it would bring Alice back home.

Josh wandered away to climb up the side of a huge piece of driftwood and take in the view while Holly continued down the shore. Thinking about her phone for the first time that day, she reached into the pocket of her jacket and turned the power on. There were several texts messages, and they were all from Jake. She opened the first, overtly apologetic message and only made it halfway through before shoving the phone in her jacket pocket.

Everything had changed so quickly, and it was too much. Between being back home with Josh and having Edward harsh words jammed in her head, Holly didn't have any more space for Jake. She picked up a rock and chucked it as hard as she could into the water, wishing all thoughts of Jake along with it.

By the time they left the tiny reservation almost two hours later, Holly's stomach was growling. On their way back into Forks, they grabbed another bite to eat at a Chinese restaurant that was new to both of them. After lunch, Josh drove them to the cemetery. Holly's phone continued to buzz as they parked in front of a low stone wall.

"Go on ahead. I'll give you some time," she said.

"You don't have to. I don't mind," Josh replied with a shrug.

Holly smiled. "Josh, you need some alone time with them. Go. I'll be right behind you," she said. Josh nodded his head and closed the door. Holly laid her seat back and closed her eyes, thinking about what he'd told her in the woods. Josh's invitation for her to be his lifelong roommate was sweet, but Holly couldn't imagine continuing to live so close to Edward when he wanted nothing more to do with her.

The more she replayed Josh's speech over and over in her mind, she realized it didn't sit right; something about his tone bothered her. Just as she started to mull over what he'd said about the Cullens taking care of her, Holly's phone buzzed against her stomach. She groaned, yanked the phone out of her pocket, and sat up to see the latest messages, which were also from Jake. She ignored the stab in her chest that it wasn't Edward who was begging to communicate with her.

**_Please talk to me. You can't shut me out forever. . . ._**

**_Look, I'm sorry, but you HAVE to forgive me. We're besties. Yes, I just said besties. _**

**_Edward apologized to me earlier, and I'm working with the family to find Alice. Edward and I are actually talking. Surprised? Yeah, me, too. It's weird. _**

**_I guess I deserved the punch. . . . Please talk to me. I can't stand this._**

Holly glared at her phone and quickly typed out a response.

**_Yes, you deserved getting punched in the face. I'm only sorry he didn't follow it up with a kick in the crotch. I hope you and Edward will be very happy together. Stop texting me!_**

She tossed the phone in the backseat and rubbed her temples. The confined space of the Denali was too much and she flung open the door. Holly needed to escape from herself before her thoughts consumed her. Outside, she paced a tight line along side the truck, but images of Jake and Edward continued to circle around her head. After a few moments that felt like hours, she couldn't take it anymore. She quickly crossed the cemetery to find Josh, but the sight of him stopped her in her tracks. It was clear Josh had been crying, and Holly ran to his side.

Her sudden presence startled him, and Josh cleared his throat and wiped his face. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they stood for a while, staring at the ground where their parents laid to rest. Her ear was smashed against the side of his ribcage, and Holly could hear his short, irregular gasps of breath.

Giving her arm a squeeze, Josh pulled away. "You're turn," he said and turned away from her. He walked to a wooden bench that sat at the base of a small pond about thirty yards away.

Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, Holly turned and faced the ground. Side-by-side for all eternity, were her mother and father. Holly dropped to her knees in front of her mother's grave and pulled the weeds from the base of her headstone, then Charlie's. She brushed grass and other debris away with the sleeve of her jacket.

Once satisfied, Holly sat back on her heels and took a deep breath. "Hi, guys. It's been a while since I visited, I know. Things have been ... crazy," she said quietly. She went through a mental checklist of all the things she wanted to tell her mother, but Edward kept her mind's eye locked in tunnel-vision. How many times had she wished she could tell her mom about Edward? How many times did she wish he could have met her?

"I wish you could help me, Mom. Show me what to do. I don't know whether to fight for what I _know_ is right, or run for my life. I love him, but I don't want to chase someone who doesn't know how to love me back. I'm terrified of making the same mistakes you did." Through a stream of tears, Holly glanced at Charlie's grave. "No offense, Dad," she said and dropped her head, running her hands through her hair. "I tried doing things my own way and only succeeded in making a huge mess of everything. I don't know where to go from here. I need your help. Please . . . tell me what to do."

Holly sat and waited for something-anything. Any kind of sign from above that would present her with an epiphany. But nothing came except the first few droplets of a new rain. She wiped her face and kissed her hand, touching both gravestones to say goodbye. Realizing she really was alone in this, Holly stood up and brushed off her jeans, joining her brother on the bench of gloom.

As soon as she sat down, Josh turned to Holly, surprising her with his determined, red-rimmed eyes. "Holly, I need you to promise me you'll stay with the Cullens-" he fought to choke out the last part "-and me." Josh huffed at his inability to be inconspicuous. He could see Holly's confusion and tried to regain normal composure without success. "Please. I need to know that you'll always be safe and loved."

_Again with the Cullens, _Holly thought. She didn't know where all this was coming from but didn't have the heart or energy to disagree with him. She answered as diplomatically as possible. "As long as you're around, I will be safe and loved. I know that, so don't worry about me." Josh pulled her into yet another hug, and Holly nearly lost her balance on the bench. "Whoa. This trip is making you crazy," she said with an awkward laugh. "Josh, it's all right. No matter what, you and I are going to be fine."

Still clinging to his sister, Josh squeezed his eyes shut. Holly didn't know how wrong she was. "Listen to me. Whatever happened with Edward; it's nothing you can't get past. Edward loves you; I know he can look after you," he said; his filter was nowhere to be found.

Holly struggled out of Josh's embrace, pushing herself away from him and looking him squarely in the eyes. "All right, what the hell is that supposed to mean? This is more than you being back home, Josh. What's going on? And since when the hell are you Team Edward?"

Josh grabbed her hands, his eyes boring into her. "Edward's my brother. I know him, and he's gone from night to day because of you. He's fucked up, but he loves you, Holly."

"Enough! Edward hates me, and I'm not the Cullens' responsibility. Tell me what the hell is going on. You've been acting really fucking weird all day, and I don't like what you're saying to me," Holly said, trapping Josh in her angry stare.

Josh held onto her gaze as long as he could, but he finally broke and looked away. He stood and paced, running a hand through his short, dark hair. Holly was right on his heels and they nearly collided when he stopped and turned to face her. "Holly, I'm only telling you this because I know I can trust you. For the safety of everyone, you can't tell a soul what I'm about to say."

Holly stood in place as Josh continued to pace before her. Her heart was beating soundly in her chest, proving its questionable existence. "Tell me what?"

"I'm not going home tonight. Aro sent me a message with instructions, and I'm going to follow them. I'll do whatever he says to get Alice back."

"What?" Holly could hardly process what she'd just heard. "Where are you going?"

"He didn't say. I assume it's out of the country. I only know I'm supposed to meet someone at the airport. He wasn't too forthcoming with details," Josh said, looking into Holly's horrified face. "Please, Holly, you don't have to worry-"

"Of course I'm worried! You want to embark on an unknown journey at the mercy of a psychopath, Josh. What if it's a trick? You can't do this."

"I have to! There _are_ no alternatives. Aro offered me an opportunity to get Alice back, and I'm taking it," he said with resolution.

Holly's head was spinning and she thought that this couldn't be happening. She looked at him and pursed her lips. "Then I'm coming with you."

Josh growled. "No you're _not_! You'll stay with the Cullens. They'll take care of you."

"No," Holly insisted. "Do you expect me to go home and _not _tell anyone what you're doing? Really? If you leave and just let everyone believe you abandon them, then that makes me nothing more to them than the sister of the person that betrayed them the most. You're not going _anywhere_ without me. You left me once, and I'll be damned if you do it again."

It killed him to hear her words, so blunt and so true. He closed the gap between them and grasped her shoulders, pleading with her. "I can't let you come with me, Holly. I don't know if I'm coming back. I don't know if Aro will ... allow it. Anything could happen."

"But you believe you'll be sending Alice back, right? That he's going to allow that?" Holly asked, imploring him to tell her the truth.

Josh nodded. "Yes," he said confidently. He couldn't afford to lose the hope that Alice and his unborn-babies would be okay. It was the only thing driving him onward into insanity.

"Then I believe what you believe, and you'll need my help. You're the only family I have left. If you meant anything you've said to me in the last six months, you'll let me come with you," Holly said, laying it out for him. Before Josh could argue, Holly continued, going for his Achilles Heel in desperation. "Alice can't make it back home by herself. By now, she's ready to pop, and you can't expect any of _them_ to care about her safety when they'd probably rather see her dead. I can get her out of there and make sure she gets home safely."

Josh opened his mouth several times to say something, to argue, but couldn't get his words together. He clenched his jaw and stared at his sister. Several emotions fought for center stage, but anger won out and they both glared at each other in another heated staring match. Josh lost again and released her arms with a slight shove. He turned on his heel and trudged quickly back to the Denali.

Holly followed slowly behind him, hearing the engine turnover as the SUV came to life in the distance. She finally made it to the passenger side and opened the door, climbing into her seat. Holly stared at the side of Josh's conflicted face. He didn't say anything, and she put her seatbelt on without taking her eyes off him. Her breath caught in her throat when his shoulders sagged.

"I'll call Carlisle and tell him we're staying the night in Forks. We need to get back to Seattle right now," he said, dialing a number on his phone. Before Holly could question him, Josh spoke to someone on the receiving end, giving her all the confirmation she needed. "Jenks ... Josh McNamera. I need a passport tonight ... I don't care; I'll pay it." Josh paused and looked at his baby sister, shaking his head with regret. "The name is Holly McNamera."

Chapter End Notes:

Thank you for reading! It means the moon when I get a review, so please don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Alice's White Rabbit for being a wonderful beta. Please keep her in your prayers. She's going through some heavy RL stuff right now.

Thank you, Kherisma, my little Nemo, for being so encouraging to me, even if you don't realize you're doing it. HUGS!

The song I mentioned, Felony Flats, is by Anya Marina. She also had a great song on the New Moon soundtrack called Satellite Heart. Take a listen and give this chick a chance. She's fab.

watch?v=wSl9zeygtKM

See you next time!


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Chapter Notes:

Hello again, friends.

First, I'd like to apologize for my erratic posting schedule and for taking SO long to update. There are two main reasons: A) This story is a beast. There's a lot going on logistically, and it's been hard to find ways to keep you interested while we wait for Edward to reappear. Hold tight, there's one more chapter after this that's sans E, but I promise you a lot of action in the mean time, especially next chapter. B) I'm working like a dog. In the words of my validation beta, work has been way to worky lately. I'm in the middle of another seven day stretch, so any prayers for my sanity would be greatly appreciated.

On to the story :)

Twenty One

Holly stared out the window of the hotel suite and pulled her jacket tighter around her body. All she could make out in the heavy blackness were the twinkling, multi-colored lights of the nearby airport. Josh had been gone for over an hour, and Holly tried not to think of all the possible trouble he may have run into.

The ride back to Seattle from their hometown on the Olympic Peninsula had been tense and far too long. The never-ending drive was interspersed with arguments between Holly and Josh over her infiltrating his plans to meet up with Aro Volturi's men and get Alice back. After checking into the airport Hilton and seeing her to the room, Josh left on a mission. He was to meet someone named J. Jenks and acquire a passport for Holly. He was paying a small fortune for what Jenks had assured him would be a flawless fake. Holly argued to let her just go home and get her real passport, but Josh refused to return to the house. Somewhere between Forks and Seattle, his frame of mind had altered; he was in strategy-mode with the fight ahead of them, front and center.

Any other time, Holly would've considered leaving the country illegally a big deal, but given their situation, it was the least of her worries. In just a few short hours, she and Josh would be on their way to _God_-knows-where, and neither knew what to expect. Her brother never said as much, but Holly knew Josh was convinced he wouldn't be returning home when all was said and done.

Refusing to let the worst of possibilities take control of her the way Josh had, Holly began a mission of her own. She vowed to stay mentally sharp and positive for as long as possible. No matter what situation they found themselves in, she would make decisions and base her actions on the notion that they _were _going to make it home, safe, and together. Holly would be strong enough for the both of them. She couldn't and wouldn't turn back now.

Before she could begin honing her mind for the journey ahead, there was a nagging face in the back of her mind that demanded attention. Holly pressed her forehead to the cool window, letting the thoughts of Edward run away with her. The past twenty-four hours had been an emotional whirlwind, and more than likely, it would be a long time until she'd have the chance to be alone again. Despite what happened between her and Edward, she couldn't leave without _somehow_ communicating to him.

Being brave could wait a few more minutes, Holly decided. She took quick strides to cross the room and took a seat at the small, oak desk before pulling open drawers in search of stationary and a pen. Finding what she needed, Holly took a deep breath and stared at the blank piece of paper, her pen hovering at the top of the page.

The things she wanted to say were tangled in her mind like a ball of yarn. Bits and pieces of various scenarios shouted and argued inside her, and she didn't know where to begin. With a shake of her head, Holly jumbled all the fragmented thoughts together and wrote down the first things that fell into place.

_Edward, _

_Whether it means anything to you now or not, whether you ever loved me or not, I need you to know that I love you. I've known it for a long time but was too afraid of losing you to let you know. Staring ahead at the unknown, I regret not telling you sooner. Maybe if I had, things between us wouldn't have ended the way they did ... maybe not. _

_ I'm sure none of this makes sense to you, but I guess nothing between us ever really did. All I know is, until I met you, I never experienced true freedom. You brought me to life, Edward, and I like to think there was a time when you felt the same way about me. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but you have to know that it was never a question for me. From the very beginning, it was always you. _

_Whatever happens now, I just want you to know that it was worth it in the end. All of it. _

_Always,_

_H _

Holly stared at the paper but her words felt weak. She wanted to say more. She wanted to tell him everything-that she wasn't running away from him; that she and Josh were fighting to make things right for his family again. But saying more would be saying too much.

Before she could lose her nerve all together, or Josh could come back and stop her, Holly stuffed the letter into an envelope and addressed it to Edward's apartment. Grabbing her canvas bag and the key to the room, Holly left the suite and made her way down the hall, cramming herself into the already packed elevator.

Once in the lobby, Holly waited in a short line at the front desk and dropped her letter off to be mailed. The perky desk clerk assured her it would go out the next day. She hoped that mailing it to Edward's apartment would buy her and Josh some time to get where they were going. It wouldn't be too long before Edward and the rest of the Cullens would start to worry when they failed to return home.

Back on the twenty-third floor, Holly wandered around until she found the vending machines. She bought herself a makeshift dinner of cheese crackers and Pepsi. Holly knew she wouldn't be able to stomach a full meal, but she needed to eat something to keep her energy flowing. Holly retrieved her snacks and headed back to the room. Upon entering, she was glad to see Josh had finally made it back. He was on the phone and looked worried when she entered the living room and waved at him.

Josh disconnected the call and threw his hands up. "Christ, Holly. What the hell is the matter with you? I asked you not to leave the room," he said, teetering on the line between anger and relief.

Holly held up her sustenance. "I went to the snack machine. Take it easy, all right?"

Josh shook his head, his eyebrows lost in his hairline. "No, Holly. I _can't_ take it easy right now. There's a mini-bar ten feet to your left. You don't just leave without letting me know where you are. You could have at least answered your phone; I must have called you ten times."

"Okay, I get it. My phone was off; I'm sorry to have worried you."

Taking a deep breath, Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's the thing; I really don't think you _do_ get it. Those creeps we're meeting tomorrow could be anywhere right now," he said. Josh needed to make himself clear and lay down some groundwork for the long road ahead. "You can't do things like this anymore, Holly. You can't just flit around as you please and expect that everything will be okay. What we're about to get into ... I don't know _what's_ going to happen. I need you to be right here with me. I need you to listen to everything I say and be ready to do exactly as I tell you if things go wrong," Josh said. Feeling chastised, Holly crossed her arms and shrugged with a slight nod. Josh grabbed the sides of her face, forcing her averted eyes to his. "_Okay_?"

Sheer panic twisted his features, and Holly grabbed his hands and squeezed, remembering the vow she'd made to herself earlier. "Okay, I promise. We _will_ be okay, Josh, as long as we're together. We're getting Alice, and we're coming back home."

Josh had to bite the inside of his cheek, choked up by her blind conviction. "Yeah," he agreed, nodding his head and patting her arm. He walked to the couch and grabbed his bag, digging around until he found what he was searching for. "Here."

Holly took the thick, heavy envelope out of his hand and stared at it for a moment before looking up at him. "This feels like more than a passport."

"It is," Josh said and tossed his bag back onto the couch. "It's you passport and Alice's. This envelope has to stay on you at all times-no exceptions. The only way it leaves your possession is by force. Aside from the passports, there's a credit card and some cash, both US and Euros. I also bought an international phone; we'll have to leave ours here. Carlisle can track all of us by GPS; it's something we set up after Alice was taken. I don't want him or anyone else getting involved in this. It's bad enough I'm putting you in danger.

"I'll put our phones in the truck tomorrow before we leave and give you the keys to hold onto, as well." Josh took another deep breath and looked at his sister. Holly was holding herself together fairly well, but she was trembling and pale white. He pulled her into a hug and softened his voice, but changing his tone did little to change the sobriety of the message. "Just think of it as a contingency plan, Holly. These things are your lifeline. If something happens to me, this envelope is your ticket home. Understand?"

Wincing at the idea of Josh being hurt or worse, Holly took a step back and opened the envelope, thumbing through the cash. There were two healthy stacks of fifty-dollar notes in both currencies, along with the two passports and a sleek, black credit card. Holly picked up the unfamiliar phone, closed her eyes, and nodded that she understood. She hated the envelope and everything it stood for. It represented the worst-case scenario: leaving without her brother.

"Good," Josh said and crossed the room, disappearing into the bedroom. He re-emerged seconds later with a pillow and the decorative coverlet from the king-sized bed. "I only anticipated needing one bed when I booked this room. I'll take the couch."

Now that Holly no longer had to worry about arguing with Josh about her position in his grand scheme, the magnitude of what was happening had finally begun to sink in, and it hit her like a freight train. She could feel the cold, unforgiving hands of anxiety wrap around her throat and tighten their grip. Her whole frame vibrated with tension, but she remained silent, watching as Josh made up the couch.

When he finished, Josh tossed the pillow into place and pulled his shirt over his head, turning to her. "You want to shower first?"

Clutching the phone and envelope in her clammy hands, Holly shook her head. "No. Go ahead. I'll give you some privacy." She hurried toward the bedroom, fighting the overwhelming panic, spinning around when Josh called her name.

"Holly, in case there's not a chance to say it again later ... I'm sorry. For everything that happened after Mom died and everything that's happening now. I'm sorry for it all," he told her.

Keeping her composure intact any longer was impossible, and Holly turned away from Josh just as the first tears spilled over. A whispered, "I know," was all she could manage as she continued her escape.

She shut the bedroom door and locked it behind her. The envelope dropped from her shaking hands onto the floor, and Holly made it as far as the bed before she lost it completely. Forceful heaves wracked her body and she buried her face in a pillow to catch the sobs. Josh knocked several times and called her name, urging her to let him in, but she tuned him out. After countless minutes, the sound of the shower humming in the background let Holly know she was finally alone.

A slew of emotions had been building since early the previous morning when Jake first told her about Alice. So much had happened since then; it'd finally come to a head, and she couldn't hold back any longer. Desperate for a release, Holly buried her face further into the tear-soaked pillow and screamed as hard as she could. Wherever it was they were headed, Holly knew she couldn't take the bottled up feelings with her; they had to come out now or risk putting them in even greater danger later.

She felt like a fool, crying for herself, but it was the only outlet she had at the moment. The more she cried, the more things bubbled to the surface, fueling her incoherent tirade. It'd been over a decade since Holly had lost her mother, and it seemed her life had been a calamity of errors ever since. She felt as if she were constantly ducking for cover from some terrible thing, always waiting for the next blow to strike. Nothing in the last ten years, up to and including what lay ahead for her and Josh, made any sense; watching the disintegration of her family, Charlie's resounding downward spiral and regression into alcohol, moving to Seattle and forcing her way into Josh's world uninvited. What was the purpose for any of it?

Finally, Holly rolled onto her back and wiped her face. _Get a fucking grip, Holly, _her inner-self scolded_._ Holly drew long, shuddery breaths, calming herself the only way she knew how at the moment-by thinking happy thoughts. She thought about what it felt like when she and Josh had finally bridged the distance between them.

For the briefest of moments, all was right with the world. Past discrepancies had been amended, her brother had Alice and the promise of a new family, and for the first time, Holly knew what it felt like to be a part of a loving, close-knit family. She'd also managed to fall in love. Holly covered her face with a pillow while Edward and scenes of their short history together played like a slideshow in her mind. She made no move to resist the sweet torture as every second of his laughter, the sound of his voice, and the things they'd done together took over and helped take the edge off her state of mind.

A notion fluttered across her consciousness, and Holly wondered if she'd ever see Edward again. And if she _did_ make it back, would he even wantto see her again? She caught herself before those thoughts could evolve and send her into another frenzy. Groaning, Holly threw the pillow aside and sat up, grinding her fists against her forehead and banishing all toxic thoughts from her brain. She couldn't afford to think like that. _Of course _she would return home. _Of course_ she would see Edward again. Whatever was between them wasn't finished. Holly could feel it in the very deepest center of her being. She just wasn't sure if, in the end, she'd be running _to_ him, or saying goodbye and going her own way.

A knock at the door startled her, and Holly wiped her damp cheeks. She scooted off the bed and unlocked the door. "Come in," she murmured, turning her back and crossing the room to the window before Josh could enter.

Josh poked his head in the room. "Hey, shower's free. I'm going to order some dinner. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks," Holly said, glancing over her shoulder with a weak smile.

"Okay. I'm just going to eat and go to bed. Why don't you take a hot shower and try to get some sleep; tomorrow's going to be a long day," he said, hovering at the doorway. "We need to be ready to leave by 4:30."

Holly sniffed. "Yeah, definitely. I'll set my alarm," she said, hoping he couldn't hear the evidence of her breakdown. "Night, Josh."

"Goodnight, Holly." There was a long moment of silence before she heard the door latch shut.

A strange, muffled tune brought Holly out of a deep sleep, and she sat up, glancing around at the dark, unfamiliar surroundings. After a brief struggle of senses, Holly realized she was in the hotel room and the muffled ringing was her alarm. She pulled her phone out from under the pillow, and her fingers fumbled to shut the noise off. There were several new text messages, a few missed calls, and even a voice mail, but she ignored them all.

Setting the phone on the nightstand, Holly got out of bed. As she dressed in the previous day's clothes, her perspective narrowed and she willed everything-except the situation at hand-out of her mind. It was time to focus. It was time to bring Alice home.

Pulling on her tennis shoes and slinging her bag across her chest, Holly left the safety and warmth of the bedroom. Josh was sitting on the couch waiting for her, and after a short trip to the bathroom, the two of them left the suite without a word between them. After checking out, they made a stop at the truck and Holly put her phone alongside Josh's in the middle console. From the parking garage, they hopped onto a shuttle and took a brief ride from the hotel to the airport.

They walked in silence through the sprawling metropolis, but as soon as they were inside the international terminal, Josh pulled Holly aside. "Listen to me. These guys aren't going to be expecting you. I'm not sure how they're going to react, so let me do the talking. Just be quiet and stand behind me. If I say scream, you scream."

"What?" Holly asked, surprised by the directive. Before she could say anything more, Josh cursed under his breath, grabbed her arm, and pulled her behind him. She clutched his jacket and peaked around his side. Her heart lodged in her throat at the sight of two men decked out in black leather approaching them with purpose.

"My uncle said you'd be alone. Breaking the rules already, MacNamera?" said the shorter man with spikey, light brown hair.

"She won't be any trouble. She's only coming to help see my wife home," Josh said, keeping his expression hard and his eyes locked on both men.

"The girl stays here," the tall one said, moving to grab Josh's arm.

Josh was quick to pull away, gripping Holly's arm tighter. "She comes with us or I tell her to scream and we get the attention of every fed in the airport," he said, glancing at a few passersby who eyed them curiously. "Drawing an audience won't be hard."

The shorter of the two stepped up to Josh, snarling, and they stared each other down. Holly hid her face against her brother's back, shocked by his nerve. His grip on her arm had become painful, but she barely registered the deadening of her hand.

The short guy with spikey hair finally relented. "Threatening me is not a good strategy for you, my friend. Now move-both of you."

Josh released Holly's arm but latched onto her hand, and they started down the line of terminals, flanked on either side by the two men. Holly kept her eyes glued to the large windows in the distance as she walked, avoiding the short, slimy brute next to her.

"Demetri," he barked and grabbed a handful of Holly's jacket, veering right and taking her with him to the ticket counter. She glanced back at Josh, who was kept in place by Demetri.

Holly stood in line with her captor and he linked their arms, keeping her close to his side. She must have looked as frightened as she felt because he leaned in close, pressing his lips to her ear. "Make one false move, Pollyanna, and you'll be dead before you leave the airport. Now relax; people are staring at you. And give me your passport; we need to make this quick."

His hot breath swirled around Holly's neck, and she shuddered away from him. Digging around her bag with one hand until she found the envelope, Holly fingered through the contents until she found her passport and handed it to him.

He studied the document and enlightenment dawned on his face. "Ah, yes, Holly MacNamera. You must be the sister. I heard about you. Uncle Aro was not happy when you threw a wrench in his plans all those months ago, but it seems we've got you now. Talk about a bonus," he said with a jovial laugh, and Jane's beautiful, pale face flashed across Holly's memory. "Well, Holly, you may call me Felix." He winked, but Holly was too busy hiding her shock to give a reply.

They stepped up to the counter when it was their turn. "I'd like to purchase a one-way ticket to Rome for the lady, via flight 1833," Felix said, as if he and Holly were old friends or a couple.

Tapping away at the keyboard, the agent looked at her screen and looked back to Felix with one eyebrow raised. "Sir, that flight departs in twenty minutes. We do have one seat left, but I'm afraid it's in first class."

"Perfect. Then she'll be able to sit with the rest of us. We'll take it," he said, wrapping an arm around Holly's waist and pulling her closer. Holly cringed against him as he slid a credit card and Holly's passport across the counter.

The woman nodded and turned to Holly with a smile. "I'll need another form of identification, Miss MacNamera. Do you have a driver's license or state ID?"

Trying her best to remain casual, Holly stated that she did. She managed to keep from shaking as she rummaged through her bag once again for her wallet, pulling her ID out of its place, and presenting it to the agent.

"Excellent. Your seat is booked. Sir, your total is nine thousand, eight hundred and forty nine dollars and seventy-three cents. Please sign here," she said, sliding his credit card, along with a receipt, back across the counter.

Holly's jaw unhinged at the ungodly amount of money being shelled out for her ticket, and she wasn't the only one. Felix's feigned delight was gone, and his fingers dug painfully into Holly's side before he released her to sign the receipt. Through a tight, highly irritated smile, he thanked the agent and snatched the ticket from her hand. Grabbing Holly's elbow, they walked away from the counter. "You are one very expensive little surprise, Holly. I hope you enjoy what you can of Italy; you won't be around to see much of it."

As soon as they rejoined the other two, Josh pulled Holly away from Felix and back to his side. Their eyes met and Holly mouthed the word 'Rome' to him, letting him in on the tiny bit of information she'd been given. Josh shut his eyes, slowly shaking his head. Just as they'd been thinking all along; Alice had been taken to Italy, homeland of the Volturi family.

First class seating for the flight had already been called, and they were able to walk right up to the gate to board the plane. An overzealous flight attendant with a Swedish accent showed them to their seats and offered to stow their carry-on luggage. Holly tightened her grip on her bag, remembering Josh's instructions, and politely declined the help. Her ticket called for her to sit several rows away from everyone, but Felix somehow managed to talk the already-seated passenger in the seat next to Josh to swap places, stating she was a nervous, first-time flyer.

"How are you doing?" Josh asked once the seatbelt sign blinked to life.

Holly drew a deep breath and glanced out the window of the massive jetliner before meeting his worried eyes. "I'm all right, I think. Nervous, but I'll be fine." Frankly, she couldn't believe what they were doing, and she was more scared than ever after being alone with Felix. He gave her the clear impression that her demise was imminent, though he hadn't said it in so many words.

Josh sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I can't believe I let you come with me. How stupid can I be?" he asked, more to himself than her. He grabbed her hand. "You shouldn't be here, Holly. There's still time; you can get off this plane right now and go home," he whispered, though he knew the men behind them would never let that happen.

As they taxied down the runway, Holly looked into Josh's eyes and squeezed his hand, letting him know she was in this with him-no matter what.

Chapter End Notes:

Keep your arms and legs inside the ride, folks. Next stop: Italy, Alice, Aro, and lots of action.

Thank you ever so much for continuing to read this story and care about the characters that came out of my imagination. Please don't give up on me. I will get us all back, safe and sound ... maybe.

Huge thanks to my beta, Alice's White Rabbit. She never lets me down and always gives 110% to everything she does.

Also, Kherisma, my VB. She's going through some tough RL stuff right now, and I thank her for finding time to fix my mess. LYSM!

Hate it? Love it? Wanna go off on me right about now? PLEASE DO! Leave a review for me. Answering reviews is about the only thing I do in a timely fashion.

P.S. The next update will NOT take as long. I promise!


	22. Chapter 22

Twenty-Two

_Holly stood in the lush, green forest of her childhood. It was dark; much too dark to see clearly as she made her way through the brush. An owl screeched overhead and the black night only seemed to amplify the sound. Holly hunkered down and forged ahead, climbing over fallen tree limbs and ducking under low, mossy branches. A light beckoned to her in the distance, and when she drew close enough, she could make out her destination in all its glory—a sunny, flowering meadow. _

_"Holly!" a voice, faint and weak, called to her from the brightness beyond. _

_Holly looked at the blackness behind her and fear chilled her veins. The forest had come to life; branches and vines twisted and twirled toward her. Panting, Holly moved faster toward the meadow and the faceless voices as roots twisted around her legs and middle, impeding her struggle toward the light. Grunting in determination, Holly ripped them away and fought to keep moving. _

_"Come on, Holly! You've almost made it; I can see you," the now familiar voice called again._

_Holly squinted through the trees and could see Alice in the distance, waving with jubilation. The rest of the Cullens were there, as well as her brother. They were all smiling and holding out their hands as if waiting for Holly to catch up to them. To keep moving, she had to fight every obstacle the forest could throw at her. Branches crashed to the ground at her feet and heavy moisture poured from overhead. The canvas above had wrung itself like a sponge, drenching Holly and making every surface slick and nearly impossible to navigate. _

_So close. _

_She was so close to the meadow now. Holly tripped and fell hard when a vine caught her around the ankle and pulled her to the ground. She kicked her leg and used her nails to claw herself free. Clambering to her feet, she sprinted the last several yards, and suddenly, she burst through the wall of trees and the sun was on her face. It warmed her skin, and Holly closed her eyes and took a deep breath without giving the nightmare behind her a second look. When she opened her eyes again, Edward was walking toward her with a reverent smile on his face. _

_"I've been waiting so long for you, Holly," he told her, his arms wide open. Holly smiled in return and stepped forward, but before they could embrace, Edward's eyes darted past her, his face twisting in horror._

_Holly looked back to see the forest closing in on her again. As quick as a whip, a thick tree root shot out of the trees, wrapped around her waist, and pulled her back into the darkness. _

_"Edward," she screamed.._

_"Holly. Holly!" _

_Holly could hear her name being called, but it did little to comfort her as she struggled to free herself from Mother Nature. All she could do was watch helplessly as her happy ending grew smaller, smaller, and smaller._

Holly shot up with a garbled scream.

"Jesus Christ. Someone shut this bitch up before I do."

Sweaty and gasping for air, Holly looked around. She was in a car with her brother, the two men from the airport, Demetri and Felix, and another man at the wheel. The vine that had gripped her so tight in her dream was, in fact, Josh's arm.

Josh was glaring at Demetri, who was seated next to them in the back, but turned his attention to Holly and wiped the sweat-matted hair from her forehead. "You were having a nightmare. It must've been a pretty bad one."

Holly sat up and pulled herself out of Josh's arms. She swallowed but her throat was parched, and she was burning up. Looking out the window, there was nothing but hills and trees as far as the eye could see.

"Where are we?" she asked, her voice cracking. She could hardly remember touching down in Rome and exiting the plane.

"I'm not really sure," Josh told her, keeping his voice to a whisper. "I haven't seen a sign in miles. I can't tell where they're taking us."

Felix looked at them in the rearview mirror with a smirk. "Don't worry. You'll see soon enough. Uncle Aro was disappointed we couldn't make it for the dinner he had planned, but the delay in New York set us back."

Josh cursed under his breath in frustration and contempt. "Can't we just cut the bullshit and do what we came to do? I want to see my wife."

Felix gave him back a look of feigned sympathy. "I know. And in time, you will. Of course, if you'd rather keep running your goddamn mouth, I'd be glad to have Gianni pull the car over and we can settle this right now," he said, opening the side of his blazer to reveal the butt of a shiny, chrome pistol, peeking out of the waist of his pants. "Aro would be disappointed if I killed you now, but it certainly would save us all a lot of time. It's your choice, really," he finished, and Josh managed to remain silent. Felix straightened himself in his seat, smug with confidence. "That's what I thought."

Now that Holly's body temperature and heart rate had returned to normal, she scooted closer to Josh and grabbed his hand, reminding him with her eyes to calm down. Picking fights with the jackass in the front seat would get them nowhere but dead. She squeezed Josh's hand and kept her eyes straight ahead as they turned off the main road onto a narrow, winding back road. Every sight they passed, Holly filed away as a visual marker in case she needed them later. The road wound through the hills for a long time before they arrived at a large iron gate.

After passing two gigantic structures that Holly thought were their final destination, she saw a palatial mansion appear from over the top of a hill. Her lips parted and all the air drained from her lungs. It was massive, composed entirely of brick as dark as granite. The day had been clear and blue, but the sun had since retreated behind a bank of garish purple clouds on the horizon. They slowed to a stop in front of the ancient estate, and Holly's legs felt stiff as boards as she exited the vehicle and stretched.

Felix pulled out a small pistol and loaded a bullet into its chamber, winking at Holly. "Reassurance. Stay in line and you'll be okay. _Now move! _That way," he ordered, motioning with his gun to a stone staircase on their left.

Josh took Holly's hand but she didn't budge. She stared at the gun pointed at her until she was nudged in the back by something hard and cold. It was Demetri, urging her with his own gun to start moving. They entered the house through the front and were met by several people.

Felix disarmed his weapon and handed it off to one of several very large men. He rolled his head from side-to-side as he removed his jacket. "Ugh, I'm exhausted. I'm going to let Aro know we're here, and then I'm taking a long, hot bath. Take these two upstairs, Miles."

A burly, middle-aged man nodded and led Holly and Josh up the grand staircase. They walked through a hallway with impossibly-high ceilings and mirror-polished marble floors. Powder blue walls surrounded them with every inch of ornate molding gilded.

Halfway down the hall and without warning, Miles grabbed Josh's arm and dragged him into a room. He closed the door and locked it from the outside with a key that was connected to his body by a long, silver chain. Holly could hear Josh pounding and yelling on the other side, and her heart began to thunder. She wasn't prepared to be separated from him so soon.

"Josh!" Holly screamed and lunged towards the door. Before she knew it, she was nearly jerked out of her shoes when Miles grabbed her arm and pulled her to another room on the other side of the hallway. Just like with Josh, he tossed Holly into the room, where she tripped over her own feet and fell to a heap on the floor. The door slammed shut, and Holly stood up and looked at her surroundings, wringing her hands so hard her knuckles popped. She was alone and utterly helpless.

"Shit," she said under her breath and began to pace. "Shit, shit, shit." _What the hell happens now?_ she wondered, wracking her brain for anything that might improve her situation. The sound of a key in the lock brought her to attention, and in a split-second decision, Holly removed the bag from across her torso, which contained everything she needed to get back home, and kicked it under the high, four-poster bed. The door opened behind her, and Holly spun around as a large, Italian woman entered. She locked the door again, shoving the long silver keychain into the pocket of her apron.

The woman looked Holly up and down and rolled her eyes. "_Togliti ivestitie otteneresotto la bagno_," she barked. Holly could only stare at her with wide eyes and a dumbfounded expression. The woman moved forward, clapping her hands and herding Holly across the room. "_Bagno! Bagno!_"

Holly was backed into a bathroom. She had no clue what the woman wanted or why she was so angry about it.

Muttering under her breath in Italian, the woman crossed the large bathroom and turned on the water, filling the bathtub. She looked at Holly and pointed at it. "_Bagno. Ora!_"

Holly looked at the claw-foot tub with uncertainty and shook her head, shuddering at the vulnerable positon it would put her in. When the woman shouted again and stepped toward her with threatening eyes, Holly began unzipping her jacket. She was given no privacy to undress and stripped as fast as she could.

She huddled in the tub with her knees drawn to her chest while water as cold as ice filled the space around her. The woman finally left, and Holly reached up and turned off the frigid stream of water. She sat, shivering and scared to death as the sound of her teeth chattering filled the room and tears rolled down her face and neck.

Josh sat on a cedar trunk at the end of the large bed with his head in his hands. He didn't know where Holly was, and thinking about the danger she could be in terrified him. The other half of his brain was acutely aware that somewhere under the same roof, Alice was waiting for him. He looked at the clothes on the bed beside him and his anger spiked; a crisp suit had been laid out for him to change into. The thought of allowing Aro to dress him up like a puppet for his own entertainment made him sick. He couldn't bring himself to play along.

The bedroom door opened, and Josh stood in defense. He had been expecting either Demetri or Felix. Instead, a boy entered the room. A young boy. He kept his head down and his eyes on the ground as he made his way to the dresser where he deposited a tray with bread, soup, and a pitcher of water. He couldn't have been more than sixteen or seventeen years old, and Josh relaxed his stance but kept a wary distance.

Josh wracked his brain, searching through his knowlege of the italian language. "_Qual è il tuonome_?" Josh asked. The boy stood with his back to Josh, and didn't answer. "What's your name? _Qual è il tuonome_? Answer me!"

"_Niccolo_. _Il mio nome è Niccolo_," the boy replied, finally turning around. Josh flinched at the sight of the boys face. Jagged scars crisscrossed his left cheek and the entire span of his forehead. It looked as if he'd been severly beaten and then burned.

Josh swallowed hard. "Niccolo, I'm looking for my wife. Uh ... _Mia moglie, Alice. La conosci?_ Josh asked, inquiring if the boy knew of her.

Niccolo's features softened at the mention of Alice's name and he nodded. "_Sì ... Tua moglie ègentile con me._"

Josh almost smiled at the boy's words as the last of his defenses came down. "She's nice to you," he repeated, picturing Alice's smiling face. Before he could ask anything else, the door burst open again and Felix barged in with two large men in tow.

"Get lost, streetrat. _Muoversi_!" Felix barked, raising his pistoled-hand to the boy. Niccolo hid his face and scurried away while Felix sauntered up to Josh with an evil smile. "I've been waiting a long time for this," he said with a smile, bringing the pistol hard across Josh's face. "That's for putting my father away."

Josh's senses were knocked upside down, but he still moved to leap at him. Before he could blink, the other two men grapped him by the arms and held him in place.

Felix shook his head with a chuckle. Using all his strength, he brought his knee into Josh's groin. Josh went limp in the grasp of the men, gagging as the air left his lungs. "_That_ is for putting away my uncles; although, Aro was smart enough to run when he had the chance," he said, grabbing Josh's throat and squeezing as hard as he could. "And this, my friend, _this _is for that bitchy, bossy, whiney, cunt of a wife of yours. I personally can't wait to watch her head get blown to pieces," he finished, bringing the pistol across the other side of Josh's face. When he was finally satisfied, Felix stepped aside and the brutes dropped Josh to the ground. He curled into a ball on his side, coughing and spitting out blood and bits of shattered teeth.

With a final, steel-toed kick to the back, Felix turned away and walked to the door, glancing back at Josh with a sneer. "Clean yourself up for God's sake. Just because you _are _a piece of shit doesn't mean you have to look like one."

Once they were gone, Josh groaned in agony and anger. He crawled his way to the nearest wall and clutched a set of thick, blue curtains, trying to sit himself up. He only succeeding in bringing the entire rod down on top of himself. The door opened again, and Josh tore the heavy draperies away from his face, hissing in pain as he attempted, once again, to sit up. When he realized it was only Niccolo and not Felix, hungry for seconds, Josh let himself fall back to the floor, panting to catch his breath.

Niccolo ran to Josh's side and helped pull him up to sit on the bed. Once Josh was situated, Niccolo spoke slowly, taking care to make sure his English was correct. "I can help you."

With one eye swollen shut, Josh stared at him, moving his jaw from side to side, suprised to find it wasn't broken. Spitting out another chunk of a moler, he asked, "Why should I trust you?"

Niccolo knelt on the floor at Josh's feet to convey his submission. "I can help save Alice."

Wary but desperate, Josh considered his alternatives and realized there weren't any. "Tell me more."

Holly sat in a chair in the corner of the dim room. It was late, but her adrenaline was spiked in anticipation and the rush of hormones drown out any of the jetlag she should have been feeling. She didn't know what was coming next, and all she could do was wait. After her unanticipated bath, when she finally emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a thin, linen robe, Holly was relieved to find she was alone. The shower Nazi was gone. Her own clothes had been neatly folded and placed on the corner of the bed.

Holly rushed to dress and dropped to the floor, fishing her bag out from under the bed. Not wanting to take any chances, she stuffed the envelope Josh had given her in the hotel down the front of her pants; her jacket was just loose enough to cover the bulk. If she was separated from her bag, at least she would still have her lifeline.

Across the room, the door opened and Holly stood as Miles entered with heavy steps. "Let's go," he said with cold indifference.

Holly clutched the strap of her bag and walked past him. Miles caught her by the hood and pulled her back in front of him, yanking the bag away from her. He took a moment to paw through her belongings. Holly prayed he wouldn't conduct a full body search and thanked her lucky stars when he shoved the bag against her chest and motioned for her to move. "This way," he said, letting her walk ahead of him.

They walked down the hall in the opposite direction from which they initially came and rounded a corner. "Josh!" Holly exclaimed, relief flooding through her. He was standing midway down the hall with another guard. She sprinted the distance to him but stopped short when she saw his face. "Oh, my God! What did they do to you?"

Josh closed the gap she'd left between them and embraced his sister. "Don't worry about me; I'm fine. Are you all right? Did anyone touch you?" he asked, pulling back to study her face and body.

Holly rapidly shook her head and could feel tears building as she took in the sight of him. His left eye was a knot of swollen tissue the size of a baseball, and a large gash snaked down the right side of his jaw. "Oh, Josh," Holly whispered, biting back a sob.

Josh placed his hands on either side of her face. "Keep it together, Holly. I'm fine. I need you to stay strong. Whatever happens now, I need you to keep Alice calm. That's your job, okay?"

Holly didn't have time to respond as the two men shoved them forward. "All right, that's enough. Move it; end of the hall."

They gripped each other's hands as they headed toward a set of ornate double doors. One of the guards walked ahead and entered the room, leaving the rest of them in the hall. Josh caught Holly's eye and squeezed her hand, mouthing _I love you._ Holly could only nod in return as she struggled to do as he'd requested and keep it together.

The doors opened again, and with a nudge from behind, they entered the room. Once they were inside, Miles and the other man left, closing the door behind them as Josh and Holly continued through the atrium and into the main room alone.

If he lived to be a hundred, Josh would remember Aro's face for the rest of his life, and he felt his body turn to stone as soon as he saw him. Josh's immediate reaction was to pounce; to rip him to shreds in front of Felix and Demetri, who stood close by. Instead, he was diverted by the only thing in the world that could keep him from losing all sanity and killing Aro right then and there—Alice.

Immediately, Josh was at her side with one hand cradling her head and the other on her protruding belly. "Oh, God, Alice."

"You came for me," Alice said through a tight throat, tears already falling down her flushed cheeks.

"I would die for you," he managed through his own tears.

"They hurt you," Alice acknowledged with a sob, taking his hand off her belly and holding it against her face. Careful to avoid his bruises, Alice let her hands roam, touching him wherever her restraints would allow.

"It's nothing, baby. Oh, Alice. Oh, God, I've missed you. I'm so sorry for everything, but I'm here now. I'm here," he told her. Josh didn't even register the pain radiating from his face as he planted his mouth onto hers. The kiss was fervid and choked with tears; he soon lost track if the sobs were Alice's or his own. After months and months of the pain and suffering endured by both of them, they were finally together. Josh moved down her body and embraced her swollen middle, burying his face against the space where his unborn babies were. "I love you. I love you so much, Alice. I'm so sorry."

Aro tsked from his seat across the room. "I spent all that time picking out just the right suit for you to wear, and here you are in street clothes," he said, but Josh didn't acknowledge him. "All right, you two. I fear your hello will go on all night if I let it, and we just don't have that kind of time. Tick-tock, tick-tock and all that," Aro chimed in from his seat across the room.

Josh gave Alice one last kiss before he was physically removed from her side by Demetri and shoved into place next to his sister. Alice's eyes went wide, noticing for the first time that Holly was even there. "Holly! What are you doing here?"

Aro answered for her. "Well, despite my clear instructions, Josh decided to bring his young sister along for the ride. A very selfish thing to do, by the way—bringing her into all of this. Oh well, the more the merrier, I always say. Now, let's get down to business, shall we?" he said, screwing a long steel barrel to the end of his pistol—a silencer. "No need to wake the whole house; we do have appearances to keep, even within our own walls. Nephews?" At once, Felix and Demetri pulled out their own guns—also outfitted with silencers—and moved to stand on either side of Holly and Josh.

"No, please! Aro, please don't!" Alice cried from her bed.

"Now, Alice, you've known this was coming for some time now. No need for dramatics, hmm?" Aro said, as if he were a father speaking to his irrational daughter. He strolled toward one of the large picture windows, polishing the barrel of his gun with his sleeve as he stared out into the night. "Let's see, now. What was our deal again, Josh?" he asked, knowing very well what his demands had been.

Josh tore his eyes away from Alice and glared at Aro. "My life for Alice's," he said, ignoring Holly's gasp. "I'm here; I kept my end of the deal, now let the girls go."

Aro looked amused. "Yes, that's it, though Holly appears to be surprised by this. Did you not tell her as much?"

Holly stared at her brother, but he kept his eyes on Aro. Realization set in. "You've known the whole time that he wasn't going to let you come back," she stated, horrified.

Josh finally met her gaze and nodded. "I'm sorry, Holly. Please get Alice home safely. She's your family now. Those babies are your blood. I know you'll be there for them, and that gives me comfort."

Holly's chin quivered uncontrollably, sending shockwaves throughout the rest of her body. "This isn't fair," she whispered, fixing her cold, hard eyes on Aro. "You kept Alice here for months—tore a family apart—all so you could kill Josh in the end?" Anger and revultion took center stage, and its heat radiated all the way to her toes. "Does murdering my brother make it all better for you? Do you think you'll get away with this?"

"Shut up, Holly," Josh said with a stern look.

There was a slight change in Aro's demeanor. His body tensed and his face wasn't quite as jovial as it had been only moments before. Still, his voice was forgiving. "It's all right, Josh. She's surprised, that's all. Since you weren't kind enough to enlighten the poor, ignorant girl about the situation you've dragged her into, allow me," he said, setting his glare on Holly. "I'm not a violent person, really. I'm a decision maker. As the head of a formerly great empire, I was used to making decisions of every sort. Although necessary, some of those decisions were not very . . . _kosher_. Being a man of peace, I always preferred to let others deal with the dirty work. That's one reason it took such a long time for the judge to convict me and my brothers. Our hands were clean, but the jury would not be so generous. They'd been won over by your brother and his poor excuse for a family.

"My brothers," he said, closing his eyes with a deep sigh. "My brothers, Marcus and Ciaus, don't deserve to rot in prison. We were kings—_Gods_ in our own right. They should be here with me. Instead, they'll die in a concrete cell and I will never see them again. Six months ago today, your brother ripped _my _family apart, and it will be my pleasure to play executioner and exact my revenge on the one who ruined everything we worked so hard for."

One of the wall panels near Aro opened up, and Holly barely glanced at the boy who entered, pushing a cart toward Alice. She was too busy trying to comprehend the mind of a madman. "But you hurt so many people. Hundreds of women suffered because of you. You were convicted because you and your brothers are a threat to society. Killing Josh isn't going to change that. And it's not going to bring your brothers home, either," Holly said.

Aro ghosted to the window again, rubbing his chin and staring into the black abyss as he pretended to consider Holly's words. "Yes ... too little, too late. I see your point. Well, that may be true, but at least it will make me feel better. And what Josh _doesn't_ know is, while I've spared the rest of the Cullen family, I won't be sparing any of you. First to go will be the rusty, barbed hook that's been in my side for the past six months, as well as her spawn."

"No! You can't do that, goddamnit!" Josh yelled and started toward Aro, but Demetri quickly restrained him.

Aro smiled. "Oh, I assure you, I can. And you will watch every second of it. Once your little family is nothing more than a stain on the bed, Holly will be next."

"Fuck you!" Josh hissed, fighting hard to break free from Demetri's grasp while Felix wrapped an arm around Holly's chest. The barrel of his gun rested on her temple, but she barely registered it. Holly was having an out of body experience. She felt like a bird on a wire, watching the chaos from high above.

"All things considered, Joshua, what did you really expect to happen here? And before you get too hostile, you must realize that your sister's death is all on you," Aro said, waving his gun around to emphasize his point. "_I_ certainly didn't ask you to bring her along. I told you to come alone, and you blatantly disregarded my instructions. Watching her die is the price you'll pay for not listening. It truly is a shame that a strapping young man such as yourself couldn't manage to keep a meek, little thing like Holly out of the way. Her number is up, and you have no one but yourself to blame."

As Josh snarled and struggled to break free, a loud crash brought Holly back down to earth, and several things happened at once. The boy who'd entered earlier shoved his heavy cart into Holly and Felix with such force that they were knocked over. At that moment, Josh threw his head back as hard as he could, feeling the bridge of Demetri's nose snap under pressure. In the seconds Josh had to take advantage of Demetri's disorientation, he worked the gun out of his hand, aimed it at a stunned, enraged Aro, and pulled the trigger without hesitation.

Alice screamed, and Holly heard the muffled shot just in time to look up and see Aro clutch The right side of his chest. The impact of the bullet slammed him backwards into the oak-paneled wall. Before Felix could shove Holly off him and reach for his gun, the boy got to it first and aimed. Holly shrank into a ball as another muffled shot sounded and then another, wondering where the bullet would enter her body.

"Get up, Holly, and help me get Alice. Come on, we don't have much time!" Josh commanded. "Niccolo, get the chair."

Holly scrambled to her feet and flew to where Alice lay bound to her bed. Josh tucked the gun into the waist of his pants, and together, they worked to undo the leather straps. Niccolo appeared beside Holly with a wheelchair ready, and he and Josh maneuvered Alice off the bed and into the chair.

He knelt down and grasped his wife's panicked face. There was no time left for words; instead, he gave her one last fierce kiss and stood up. "Holly, take the chair and follow Niccolo. He'll lead you to safety," he said, taking the gun out of his pants.

Niccolo motioned for Holly to follow him, already disappearing through the same wall panel he came in through earlier. Holly looked at the small opening with uncertainty and released the footbreak on Alice's chair.

Before they could move, Alice gripped Josh's shirt. "I'm not leaving here without you, Josh. If you stay here, they'll kill you."

"I'll be right behind you. I promise," he said, turning to Holly. "_Go now;_ as fast as you can or you'll lose him." Aro had finally found his bearings and sat up, cursing and coughing as he searched for his gun. "Move it or lose it, Holly!" Josh yelled, and despite Alice's panicked protests, Holly lept into action, wheeling Alice through the hidden door.

Once they'd made it partway down a tiny hall, Holly glanced once over her shoulder, but Josh wasn't behind her. She heard one muffled shot and then another before she was too far away to hear anything anymore. As she followed Niccolo through corridor after corridor, twisting and turning through the walls of the mansion, it was only adrenaline that kept her moving. Josh wasn't behind her, and the shots she heard could only mean one thing.

They emerged from the labrynth, and Holly realized they were in some kind of underground garage. Niccolo led them to an idling car with an unknown man in the driver's seat. He opened the door, and together, he and Holly carefully moved Alice into the back seat. Grabbing Holly's arm, Niccolo led her to the other side and shoved her into the backseat, as well. "Wait! Where's Josh? We can't leave without him!" Holly said, nearing hysteria.

Alice reached across Holly and grabbed Niccolo's arm. "My husband!" she exclaimed, and that was all Holly could understand before Alice and Niccolo began speaking in rapid Italian. Alice thanked the boy, but his words had done little to ease her anxiety and her tears continued to flow. Niccolo leaned in and gave Alice a quick kiss on the cheek before he closed the door and hit the roof of the car two times, sending the girls on their way.

Alice was hyperventilating and spoke between breaths. "Niccolo's going back for him . . . Holly . . . I think I'm in labor," she said and squealed as she was hit hard with a contraction.

Holly stared out the back windshield in horror, watching the back of the Volturi estate grow smaller and smaller when Alice's words finally sank in. "Labor? You _can't_ go into labor now; we have to get Josh! How do you know you're in labor?" Holly asked. She was on the edge of madness as the tiny car flew around the hairpin curves of a narrow backroad.

Her contraction finally relented, and Alice resumed taking deep breaths. "Because . . . my water just broke!"


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Alice squeezed Holly's hand until the tips of her fingers were nothing more than bright red nubs, poking out of her tiny fist. "Oh, Jesus Christ! Holly, I can't do this. I _can't_!" Alice yelled in the grip of her worst contraction yet.

"Yes, you can. You can do this, Alice. You're doing great. Deep breaths; just keep taking deep breaths," Holly said, following her own advice and gulping in lungs full of air. She was on her knees, facing Alice in the backseat of the tiny Fiat. While the hand that Alice had a grip on was turning blue with lack of circulation, her other hand held tight to the back of the passenger seat to keep her from bouncing around like a pinball. Their unnamed savior tore through the Italian countryside, and Holly kept one eye on the road behind them, expecting a tail to appear with every moment that passed.

Alice clenched her teeth and groaned in pain. "Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, _God_!" Her grey yoga pants were soaked down to the knees. This wasn't a false alarm due to overwhelming stress; the twins were coming, and they couldn't have picked a worse time to make their entrance.

When the contraction subsided, Holly wiped the sweat from Alice's flushed face and asked, "How much longer before we get to the hospital?"

Panting to catch her breath, Alice spoke to the driver in Italian. He gave a brief reply and she relayed the message. "He says ten minutes. Holly, what are we going to do?" Alice asked, beginning to cry again. She was exhausted and panicked over leaving Josh back at the mansion. If the babies hadn't come knocking on her door, Alice would have gone back in to find Josh herself.

"We're getting you to a hospital, you're going to have your babies, and they're going to be perfect. _That's_ what we're going to do," Holly replied, bracing herself to keep from falling on top of Alice as they rounded a sharp curve. She was just as terrified as Alice was. By now, Josh was surely dead, and Aro's men would be on the hunt for the two of them. Holly had left her brother behind to fend for himself, and she hadn't even had the chance to start processing that notion before Alice went into labor and round two of the drama began.

The driver turned onto what appeared to be a freeway, but still, no one followed them. Bright lights loomed in the distance, and it wasn't long before they exited the freeway and raced through the streets of a bustling metropolis. Street lamps and neon signs provided just enough light to see their surroundings, and Holly wondered what city they were in.

Before she could piece that puzzle together, Holly was pitched forward against the passenger seat when the car screeched to a halt. They were parked at an odd angle in front of a sprawling medical facility. The driver jumped out of the car, and through the back window, Holly saw him open the trunk and pull out the wheelchair.

The man opened Alice's door and Holly climbed out on her own side before running around the car to help him. As soon as Alice was situated, another contraction began. The man said something that Holly couldn't understand and shoved them forward before he scurried to get back in his vehicle. The tires squealed, and he was gone.

"What did he say to you?" Holly asked as she pushed Alice forward.

"It doesn't matter, just go faster!"

A pair of sliding doors opened as they approached, and Holly wheeled her through the entrance, yelling for people to move out of their way. She stopped at the front reception desk as several confused members of staff stood from their seats with wide-eyes in response to the commotion.

"We need a doctor; she's having a baby!" Holly was frantic but groaned in frustration when her plea was lost in translation. "_Bambino! Bambino!_" she yelled, pointing to Alice.

Once Alice's latest contraction ceased, she spoke to the nurses, relaying the message through heavy breaths. An older female in a crisp, white uniform jumped into action and took the wheelchair from Holly. Alice was pushed down the long corridor with Holly following close behind, and they boarded the first elevator that appeared. Shooting toward the sky, the elevator finally slowed to a stop, and they ran down another hallway. Stopping at a large desk with a sign above it that stated **_Travaglio e il Parto_**, the woman who'd taken control of Alice's chair explained the situation to the women behind the desk. Another nurse took her place, wheeling Alice away at once.

Holly tried to follow, but a younger woman stepped in front of her. "No, I'm sorry," she said in a thick, Italian tongue. "You cannot go with her. Please, follow me."

Exhaustion hit Holly like a ton of bricks, but she held her ground. "Please, you don't understand. I can't let her out of my sight. Please!" she pleaded, but the nurse remained firm.

"I cannot allow you in the delivery room. I will take you to the waiting room, and you will be notified as soon as you can see her again. She's in good hands. Come now," the nurse said, taking Holly gently by the elbow.

Holly felt numb and shock prevented her from arguing further. Physically, she was dead on her feet, but her brain couldn't decide which direction to go—hysterics, shock, or system-shutdown. She allowed herself to be pulled along by the nurse until they reached their destination. The waiting room was clean, quiet, and empty. Holly was led to a seat near one of many large windows by the young, raven-haired nurse with kind eyes.

"Please, try to relax. There is water and fresh coffee in the corner. I promise we will let you know as soon as you can see her."

Holly gave an absent nod and the nurse left. Alone and afraid, she stood up and walked to one of the windows, pressing her palms against the thick glass. "Josh," she whispered, staring out at the glowing lights of the unknown city. Her mind raced to comprehend and figure out how he could have ever made it out alive, but his chances for survival were minimal. They had been alone in the suite with Aro, Felix, and Demetri, but the rest of the house was crawling with Volturi muscle. All it took was one word from Aro. . . .

It was impossible, she decided as tears leaked from her tired, puffy eye. Though her senses had been dulled from exertion, fresh anxiety and hopelessness crawled through Holly when the cold truth set in. Josh was gone forever.

She rested her weight against the window, and something hard pressed against her hipbone. A switch flipped in Holly's brain, and she remembered the envelope she'd concealed under her clothing only a short time ago. Holly lifted her shirt and pulled it out, ripping it open and stared at its contents. The phone that her brother had included for her caught her eye, and more tears spilled over. Josh had known ahead of time that he wouldn't make it out alive and had planned for everything Holly would need when he was no longer around.

_Call someone!_ her mind shouted. She turned the phone on and was relieved to see it was fully charged. Her fingers scrambled to locate the dial pad on the sleek, unfamiliar touchscreen. Holly finally found what she needed, but fear set in when she realized that, without her contact list, she didn't know anyone's number by heart. Her own phone was back in Seattle, and the only number she had memorized was Josh's.

On a whim, Holly tapped the screen to view the phone's contacts and let out a whimper when a list of numbers that included everyone in the family appeared. Josh had considered her every obstacle and preprogrammed the phone for her. She wiped her eyes and dragged her finger through the list of contacts. Holly stared at Edward's name for a long moment before scrolling back to the top and choosing Carlisle's number. After six rings, she'd almost given up when he answered.

"Hello?"

"Carlisle," Holly squeaked, suddenly too choked up to even breathe.

"Hello? Who's calling?" His gentle, concerned voice was the most comforting sound in the whole world, and Holly struggled to swallow her sobs and answer him. Carlisle had to voice his inquiry once more before she could pull herself together.

"Carlisle, it's me, Holly."

"Holly? Esme, it's Holly!" he said, holding the phone away. "We've been trying to reach you and Josh for the last two days. We started to worry when you didn't return our calls. What happened?"

She took a deep breath but didn't know where to begin. The events of the past couple days flashed across her mind as she spilled everything to Carlisle. "Josh received a message from Aro last week, telling him to go to Italy, and he told me about it when we went to Forks. I made him take me along with him, and that's where we are now. Alice and I are at a hospital, but I don't know what city we're in, and—"

"Whoa, Holly, slow down. You said you're with Alice? I—I can't believe it; is she okay?" Carlisle asked, flabbergasted by the onslaught of information.

Holly's breath hiccupped in her throat, and she wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket. "She's in labor, Carlisle. I think she's okay, but I don't know. They won't let me see her." She was nearing hysterics, and speaking was getting harder and harder.

"Oh, dear God," he murmured, processing Holly's bizarre revelation. "Okay, Holly? Just try to calm down. Why don't you let me speak to Josh; maybe he can give me a better idea of where you are."

Holly held the phone away from her face and dropped her head into her free hand, sobbing anew at the mention of her brother's name. She could hear Carlisle calling her name but it took another moment before she could continue. With another deep breath, she brought the phone back to her ear. "There was a struggle, and … and Josh didn't make it. He said he would be right behind us but he wasn't, and then we had to leave without him because Alice went into labor, and … and now he's gone."

There was a moment of stunned silence on Carlisle's end, and then, through her weeping, Holly could hear him telling Esme what he'd just learned. Esme's voice had gone from curious to outright panic as Carlisle got her up to speed. "Holly, honey, just hold on. We'll take the first flight we can out of Seattle. I just need you to figure out where you are. If you can find the name of the hospital, I'll do the rest. Can you do that for me?"

Holly nodded, sniffing and wiping her nose. "Yeah, hold on." She looked around the room, searching for a pamphlet or piece of stationary—anything that would tell her where she was. Holly found what she was looking for by the coffee machine. A row of business cards with various doctor's names on them lined the counter. She grabbed one and read the hospital's embossed logo to Carlisle. "_San Girardo di Monza_."

"_San Girardo di Monza_," Carlisle repeated, and Holly could hear the tapping of keys in the background. "Okay, it looks like Monza is just outside Milan. We're booking out tickets now."

Holly shook from head to toe. She clutched her torso with her free arm and looked around at her solitude. "I'm scared, Carlisle. What if they come looking for us?"

"We're coming for you. We'll be there as soon as we can. Just stay where you are and call me if anything changes."

"I will." Holly disconnected the call and stuck the phone in her bag along with the envelope. Holly put the business card back in its holder and sat down on a padded bench that faced the door to the hallway. Pushing her bag up against the armrest, Holly laid down and rested her throbbing head on the makeshift pillow. There was nothing to do but wait; wait for the babies to be born; wait to see Alice again; wait for Carlisle to find them before Aro did.

She willed herself to stay awake as long as possible, anxious of every person who passed the waiting room. She was terrified, expecting everyone she saw to be someone who was looking for her. The clock on the wall showed it to be just after one in the morning, and Holly's eyelids grew heavier and heavier against her will. Exhaustion overwhelmed her, and it wasn't long before her body made an executive decision and her brain shut itself down, sending her into a garish dream world.

The heavy fog of a deep sleep finally ebbed as consciousness returned. While holly's body would've been content to stay wrapped in the dark cocoon of sleep, her mind grasped the light and held on to it; she needed to be awake. Holly stirred, digging her head into her impromptu pillow, and was suddenly alert. The surface was much too soft and warm to be her bulky canvas bag. Fear gripped her heart, and Holly sat up with a start. She stared in disbelief when she realized that her warm pillow had been Esme's lap.

"Oh, Holly," Esme said with tired, red-rimmed eyes and a weak smile.

Holly shook the final remnants of sleep from her head and clambered into her arms. "You're here," she said, relief filling her.

"Yes, darling, we're here. We arrived a few hours ago; I didn't have the heart to wake you," Esme told her in a soothing voice, holding her tight.

After a long moment, Holly finally pulled away and looked around. Just across from them sat Carlisle and a very haggard looking Edward. Her heart pounded with relief at the sight of them, and she glanced at the clock. It was nearly 6:00 pm; she'd been asleep almost sixteen hours. "Oh, my God. I've been asleep for too long. I didn't mean to. . . .Alice? Where's Alice?"

Esme smoothed the unruly hair away from Holly's eyes and grabbed her hands. "She's still in delivery. . . ." she said, her face strained with worry.

Carlisle leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, explaining the situation. "There've been some complications. I spoke to one of the doctors and let him know we were family. Their keeping us posted."

Holly closed her eyes and whispered a quick prayer. After everything Alice had been through, she begged God to let everyone be okay. Holly couldn't handle more death or chaos any more than Alice could. Her mind landed on an image of Josh and stayed there; he'd died trying to save them all. Before the horrid train of thought could carry her away, Carlisle distracted her. He closed the gap between them and knelt down before her. Edward followed suit, taking the open seat beside her and placing a tentative hand on her back.

"Holly, I want to thank you for saving my baby and grandchildren. I don't know how we can ever repay you for your bravery. Just know that we love you like a daughter, and we count ourselves lucky to have you in our family," Carlisle told her, squeezing her knee.

His piercing blue eyes bore into Holly, and she closed hers, shaking her head as tears snaked down her face. Before she could respond, she was wrapped in Carlisle's strong embrace. His words had affected her deeply, and Holly's entire frame shook with sobs she couldn't control while Carlisle rubbed her back. When she finally calmed down enough to talk, Carlisle pulled away, wiping an errant tear from her cheek. "You've been through something very traumatic, and no one blames you for being exhausted. But we need to know what happened—everything," Carlisle said, his tone gentle but imploring.

Holly sat back and leaned into Esme when she wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I don't even know where to begin; so much has happened."

Edward reached over and grabbed her hand. "Just start at the beginning."

Holly watched as her hand disappeared into his, but she couldn't look him in the eye without her heart opening the can of worms she wasn't prepared to deal with. She nodded her head and started from when she and Josh left for Forks. She told them of the trip to their hometown, and of Josh's odd behavior throughout the course of the day—about confronting him in the cemetery and finally learning the truth about his plan.

"Of course, he didn't want me to go, but I couldn't let him go alone. I pushed and pushed until he finally agreed. We didn't stay in Forks that night like Josh told you we did. We drove back to Seattle and stayed at a hotel near the airport. Early the next morning we met up with two of Aro's nephews, Felix and Demetri." Holly paused, and looked up to see recognition dawn on both Edward and Carlisle's faces.

"What happened next?" Esme questioned, squeezing Holly's shoulder and bringing her back to focus.

"They didn't want me to go, either. But Josh threatened to make a scene, and they bought me a ticket. Rome is where we landed. We got into a car and drove for a long time before we finally got to where they were taking us."

Carlisle shook his head, trying to make sense of it all. "Rome? But that's almost six hours away."

Edward saw logic in the illogical. "Aro wanted Holly and Josh to have no idea where they were being taken," he said, shaking his head in anger. He looked at Holly, although she still wouldn't meet his eyes. "Did they take you to one of Volturi's estates?"

Holly shrugged. "I assume so. It was huge and old. Felix and Demetri took us into the house at gunpoint and we were immediately taken upstairs and separated. They threw Josh into one room and me in another. I'd never been so scared in all my life. At that point, I didn't know if I'd ever see my brother again," she said, stopping herself when she remembered her worst fear had ultimately come true.

"Oh, sweetie," Esme whispered through her own tears, rubbing large circles on her back.

Holly focused on her story. "After a while, they came and got us. I was so happy to see Josh again, but his face was all messed up. They'd beat him up pretty badly while we were separated, but he was only worried about me. No one touched me, though. Anyway, that's when they brought us into the room where Alice was. And that's when Aro told Josh that he was planning on killing all of us; Alice first, then me, then him. He wanted Josh to suffer through watching us die first." Holly paused, consumed with hatred for the man that ruined the lives of so many.

"How on earth did you get away?" Carlisle asked, horrified by the account.

"Everything happened so fast after that. There was a boy. . . ." Holly trailed off in a daze, thinking of the kid who'd risked his own life to save Alice.

"A boy?" Carlisle asked, intrigued.

"Yes. He helped us. He caused a diversion that allowed Josh to get ahold of Demetri's gun. Josh … shot Aro. And the boy, Niccolo, took care of Felix and Demetri. We raced to get Alice into a wheelchair, but just as we were leaving, Aro started to move around again. Josh told me to follow Niccolo and that he would be right behind us. He didn't follow us, though, and I heard two more gunshots after that." Holly didn't need to say anything more. They knew what those gunshots meant and what had happened after she and Alice fled.

Esme was openly weeping and embracing Holly from the side. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so sorry."

Carlisle was pacing a tight line in front of them. "And this boy, Niccolo, did he bring you here?"

Shaking her head, Holly looked up at him. "No. We ran through this maze of narrow hallways that I guess the servants use to navigate the house. We ended up in some sort of garage and there was a car waiting for us. Niccolo helped us get seated and told Alice he was going back in to get Josh. We were both freaking out, and that's when Alice went into labor. I don't know the name of the man who brought us here. He and Niccolo saved us; if they hadn't helped us, we would all be dead right now."

Just then, a man in blue scrubs appeared at the doorway. "_Signor Cullen?_" he inquired, and everyone stood.

Carlisle and Esme rushed over to speak to him, and before Holly could follow, Edward was in front of her, grasping her arms. "Fuck, Holly," he said, utterly astounded by everything she'd just told them. The thought of her being in such danger made his stomach drop to his knees. There was so much to be said between them, but at that moment, all he wanted was to hold her. Edward pulled her flush against his body and enveloped her in his arms. "It should have been me there, not you," he whispered into her hair. Holly's arms hung at her sides, her body tense in his arms. Her response made Edward hate himself even more for the way he'd ended things the night before she left.

Holly wasn't prepared for Edward's gesture, and she didn't have enough strength left to deal with the part of her heart that would always belong to him. His familiar scent and the feel of his arms wrapped around her made her long for a time and place that she feared no longer existed between them. Holly couldn't allow herself to be consumed by the emotions that only he could evoke in her, and to her relief, Esme's voice interrupted them.

"Edward, Holly, it's time to see Alice. Come meet your niece and nephew," she said with a watery smile. Edward finally released her, and Holly grabbed her stuff before following them. When they reached the room, Esme pushed open the door, and squealed in delight.

"Mom, Dad!" Alice's voice was raw and bone-weary; dark circles lined her tired eyes. She was reclined in the bed with a tiny bundle in each arm. Carlisle and Esme rushed to her bed and sat on either side of her while Edward took a seat just behind his mother. "Edward!" Alice exclaimed through her tears.

Alice was bombarded on both sides with kisses and affection from her parents. She went back and forth between them, hugging as best she could without the use of her arms. Alice nuzzled Carlisle and Esme individually, crying against them and telling each how terribly she missed them.

Watching the scene before him, Edward couldn't be left out any longer. He leaned in and grabbed the back of Alice's head, pressing her forehead to his while Carlisle and Esme both took a step back. "God, it's really you. I missed you so much, Alice. You scared the hell out of me."

Pushing her head against his in return, Alice smiled; though, it took her a moment to gather her voice. "I missed you, too. And I love you so much. I thought about you guys every single day."

Edward swallowed his tears with a painful groan of anguish. "Alice, I'm so sorry we didn't get to you sooner. I'm so sorry we couldn't find you."

Alice pressed her forehead harder against her brother's and gently shushed him. They leaned against one another for a long moment, only a few sniffles between them. Finally Alice pulled her head back. "Holly," she whispered. Edward nodded against her and stood up, giving Holly her turn.

Alice couldn't even look at Holly without thinking of the one person who wasn't there to share the moment. Clutching her last sliver of hope, Alice assimilated what was left of her inner strength and brought her wide, enquiring eyes to meet hers. Holly could do nothing more than shake her head to let her know that Josh really was gone, and Alice's shoulders slumped. A portion of her inner light seemed to die just then.

Holly was quick to comfort her. "You're safe and that's all he wanted. He searched for you day and night, Alice—they all did," she told Alice, wrapping her arms around her neck.

For several moments, Alice was inconsolable, and she muffled her cries against Holly's shoulder. Finally, taking several deep breaths, she turned her head and whispered against Holly's ear. "Thank you for saving us."

Holly shook with her own sobs but finally pulled away, wiping Alice's cheeks. She looked down at the two sleeping bodies in Alice's arms. "I can't believe you just had twins," Holly said, brushing the back of her finger over a tiny, chubby cheek.

Alice sniffled and smiled when she looked at her little miracles. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Joshua Carlisle and Nicola Grace MacNamera."

Holly stepped away, and Esme emitted a quiet squeal as she carefully plucked the baby wrapped in pink out of Alice's arms. Carlisle was already holding the little boy who carried his name. "Nicola Grace," Esme sang in a whisper, pressing her lips against the baby's forehead.

After a moment, the baby girl was passed to Edward, and Alice explained her choice of name. "Not everyone in that house was evil. I made a friend, Niccolo. He was kind and attentive and just barely eighteen years old. I used to hide my deserts from dinner and sneak them to him. He had the most endearing soul of anyone I've ever met. He was the one who saved us all. I'll never see him again, but I want to remember him and what he did for us the rest of my life."

"I think they're both lovely names," Esme said, peering at Nicola from over Edward's shoulder.

Carlisle handed little Joshua to Holly, and she stared into his scrunched, red face with a soft smile. "He has Josh's lips and nose."

"Yes, he's going to be very handsome … just like his daddy was," Alice said, and dropped her head into her hands at the thought of her husband.

Esme was quick to her side. "Oh, honey. Come here," she said, and Alice wrapped her arms around Esme, really embracing her mother for the first time in far too long.

"I thought I'd never see any of you ever again. Aro led Josh to believe that I would be released once he arrived, but it was a lie. He was never going to let us go. Oh, Mom, I wish I could see him. I wish he was here now." Alice sobbed as Esme rocked her, and Carlisle ran his fingers through her hair that now hung well past her shoulders.

Edward looked from his sister to the precious baby girl in his arms and a single tear fell onto her fuzzy, pink blanket. It was amazing to him how something so beautiful could come from such tragedy. Only twenty-four hours before, Edward was certain that Alice was gone forever. He had never allowed himself to admit it, but Edward had given up long ago, and it showed in all his careless actions. But here he was, and there they were. Everything was perfect … almost.

Josh, his brother for every intent and purpose, _was_ gone, and he would never have the chance to thank him for saving his sister. It tore at his heart to know that Josh would never get the opportunity to hold his children, never be able to tell them how much he loved them or what he sacrificed for them. Edward regretted every fight he and Josh ever had. He regretted ever thinking of Josh as a bad person when they'd first found out about Holly. Josh had proven himself time and time again to the family, and his final act of bravery would remain with Edward for the rest of his life. His train of thought was interrupted when the door opened behind him.

"Hello, doctor," Alice said, and everyone turned to see a smiling, older gentleman enter the room, clutching a metal clipboard.

"I see your family has had the chance to meet your little ones," he said in smooth, flowing English; his accent was almost undetectable.

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Costa; for everything," Carlisle said, shaking the man's hand.

He chuckled. "Well, don't thank me. Your daughter did the brunt of the work. It was a long, tricky delivery, but she handled it very well," Dr. Costa said, smiling at Alice. "Now, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut the meet-and-greet short. The babies need to feed, and Alice needs her rest. You can see them again in the morning."

Panic creased Alice's brow. "Please, I haven't seen my family in such a long time. Can my mother at least stay with me through the night?"

The doctor chuckled again. "I'm sure we can arrange something. But for now, we need a little privacy while the nurse gives you a feeding lesson. I'll have a cot set up for your mother and she can come back in an hour or so."

Esme shook Dr. Costa's hand with gratitude. "Thank you so much. It really means a lot to us."

"All right, then. Everyone out," Dr. Costa said as an elderly nurse entered the room, pushing a cart.

Holly handed baby Joshua over to the nurse while Edward carefully placed Nicola back in Alice's waiting arms. Reluctant to leave her, they heeded the doctor's orders and left Alice, heading back to the waiting room. It was quarter to eight by the clock in the hallway which made it nearly 11:00 am in Seattle. Esme was already on the phone, updating the rest of the family of all the happenings while Holly stayed behind to lean against the doorframe.

She watched everyone else's excitement with sadness. What a bittersweet moment it was. It was hard to be joyful with thoughts of her brother overshadowing everything else, but it was impossible to ignore the ray of light that had broken through the darkness. Josh would live on through the lives of the two dark-haired babies in the room just down the hall; Holly would make sure of it.

The lingering fear of being found by the Volturi's still had her wrapped in its firm grip, but they were so close to being able to go back to Washington. If they could just make it another day or two, they would all be on a plane and the chaos would be behind them forever. Alice was heartbroken, and it would take a long time for her to adjust to life as a widow. But she had an entire family at her disposal, all of whom would do anything for her. Holly would never be as lucky.

Despite Carlisle's kind words to her earlier, Holly was officially an orphan. After a lifetime of rejection from her own blood, she'd finally been able to patch things up with the only remaining member of her family. Now, Josh was gone and she had no one. None of them could know what that felt like.

Though she'd had double a night's worth of sleep, Holly felt exhausted and weak as she leaned against the cold metal of the door frame. Not wanting to interrupt the happiness that surrounded the Cullens, Holly stepped away and decided to find the cafeteria. Her empty stomach was aching and her head was pounding; she needed to eat something soon. Just as she spotted the elevator, a hand grabbing her shoulder startled her.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked; his tone had been shorter than he'd intended.

"To get something to eat," she murmured, shying away from his touch and continuing the short distance to the elevator.

Edward followed her. Flustered, he started and stopped speaking several times before he finally spit out his frustration—again, colder than he'd intended. "Holly, what the hell were you thinking? How could you just leave Seattle and not tell us what was going on?"

After everything that had happened, Holly was stunned by his harsh tone. She pivoted on her heal to face him. "Because, Josh didn't want anyone else getting involved, _that's _why," she said, her tone matching his. "If you would've known the truth, your father would have alarmed the police immediately. Things would have ended right there at the airport, and Alice would probably be dead right now." Holly felt her own anger rise as she jammed her thumb on the button to call the elevator.

Edward raked his fingers through his hair before throwing his hands up. "Jesus, do you even realize how close you came to dying, Holly? _Do you_?"

Again, Holly spun around, almost laughing at his stupid question. "Well, Edward, considering the number of guns that have been pointed in my face in the last two days, yes, I think I do. Why on earth do you care, anyway?" A bell sounded and the elevator doors opened, but both ignored it. Before Edward could speak, Holly held her hand up. "You know what? Don't answer that. I can't have this conversation with you right now. And Carlisle shouldn't have thanked me; I wasn't the hero. My brother was, and he's dead now. Josh was all I had left in the world, and I would have done anything for him. End of story."

The doors to the waiting elevator began to close, and Holly shoved her arm through the crack and pushed them back open, wedging herself in. She pushed and held the button to close the doors.

"I care—" Edward started. He was cut off by the elevator closing, but just before the doors could shut him out completely, he slid through the narrow crevice. Smacking his hand against the panel of buttons, the elevator began to move, sending them to a random floor. Holly looked up at him incredulously as he glowered down at her. "I care about _everything_ that happens to you, Holly." She turned away from him, and Edward squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to calm down so Holly would listen to him. "When you left, thinking I hated you, you took my whole heart with you. And then, when we thought you were in Forks and couldn't get ahold of you, it wasn't long before I started getting anxious. Then, I found out you had come _here_ and I lost my fucking mind, Holly. It took twelve hours for us to get to you, and I must have died a thousand times, just hoping we would find you before someone else did. When I finally saw you sleeping in that chair. . . ." Edward said, closing his eyes. He could feel the overwhelming relief of seeing her alive and unharmed all over again. Holly couldn't speak; she was facing the corner with her head down and her back to him. Edward shrugged; he knew she didn't want to hear this now, but he couldn't stop for the life of him.

The elevator finally came to a halt and the soft bell sounded again as the doors slid open. Holly took advantage and slipped past him, heading out into unknown hallway to get away from him.

"Wait, please!" Edward called, taking long strides to follow her. He easily caught up to Holly and grabbed her elbow, pulling them into a nearby waiting room. "Holly, just listen. Please let me talk. I need to apologize—"

She yanked her elbow out of his grasp and interrupted him. "Edward, just stop. I can't do this with you, okay?"

"But, Holly, what you've been through … the awful things I said to you … you _have_ to know the truth."

"No, _I don't have to know!_ I can't handle this right now. I can't do _this—"_ She gestured between them "—anymore." Holly thought her head might explode. She was nowhere close to being in the right state of mind to have the kind of talk Edward wanted to have.

The air had whooshed out of Edward's lungs and panic flashed in his eyes. "What … what are you saying? What does that mean?"

Holly closed her eyes and rubbed her throbbing head with both hands; her mind was a total blur.

"Say it, Holly," he said through a clenched jaw, afraid to know the answer but desperate for enlightenment. "What does that _mean?_"

As Edward laid the final piece of hay atop the pile, something snapped inside of Holly's mind and she felt herself lose what little control she'd been holding on to. "It means not now, dammit! I can't handle anymore _shit. _I do not have the fucking room for this, Edward." Her voice climbed the octave scale as she carried on, and an elderly couple seated in the corner looked at them with wide eyes. "I'm tired and I'm freaked the fuck out. Twenty-four hours ago, I was preparing myself to kiss this world goodbye. My brother's dead, and for _fuck's _sake, I've been in the same goddam clothes since _Thursday_! I. Cannot. Do this with you right now! Why can't you understand that?"

Edward was speechless as Holly wiped several tears from her face with shaking hands. She drew in a few deep breaths, and looked into his eyes, pleading with him to let her be.

"Look, Edward, we're relatively safe now. Alice is back, and your family is whole again. Please … just let me go."

Edward winced like she'd slapped him as he watched her walk away. Dropping his arms to his sides, he whispered, "I can't."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-four

Carlisle watched his son out of the corner of his eye. Edward sat in the chair next to his, with his head in his hands, staring at the brown shopping bag between his legs. Esme had gone to be with Alice, and the two of them were waiting for Holly to return so they could make arrangements for the night. Carlisle couldn't imagine leaving the hospital, but he was willing to make a concession and book a hotel room if Holly needed to go somewhere quiet and decompress. He knew she hadn't slept much—if at all—in the last couple days.

Carlisle warned Edward to let her be when they'd all returned to the waiting room after seeing Alice; Holly was in a fragile state. At that point, it was a miracle she was still standing. Of course, Edward hadn't listened, and he'd fled the waiting room to chase after her.

Edward returned a short while later, carrying a large bag from the hospital's gift shop, and the look on his face told Carlisle plenty. Whatever went down between the two of them must've been heavy, but he didn't question his son or ask what was in the bag. He was curious about what had transpired between the two of them, but there were plenty of other things occupying his mind that took precedence; Edward would come around when and if he wanted to.

"Dad?"

"Hmm?" Carlisle responded in question. The corner of his mouth twitched, but he didn't take his eyes from the newspaper in front of his face. He knew the boy all too well.

"Do you remember the talk we had about Holly before everything went to hell? When you told me about you and Mom?"

"Sure, son," he said, accepting the distraction from his thoughts and all the unanswered questions about Josh.

"What happens when … I mean, do you think if two people are meant to be together, but they don't get the chance to …" Edward's mind and mouth collided. He didn't know what the hell he was trying to ask. Sighing, he leaned back in his vinyl-padded chair. "I was in love with Holly that day. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was. I've only grown to love her more since then, but I've never been able to say it out loud. When she brought Jake over to talk about Alice … I completely overreacted."

Carlisle shifted his eyes to look at Edward. "I remember."

"I was so goddamn stupid. She did the right thing by bringing Jake over, but all I could see was the two of them together, and I lost it. I said some really terrible things and ended up making her feel ashamed for something that didn't exist. We had a fight, and I told her we shouldn't see each other anymore. Holly told me I was a coward." Edward closed his eyes and cringed at the side of himself he'd unleashed on Holly only a few nights before. It seemed more like years. "She's right, Dad. How can I undo it? How can I get her to listen long enough to let her know how sorry I am, or how much I love her?"

Carlisle dropped the newspaper to his lap. "You didn't …" he began and shook his head with a sigh of disappointment. "_That's_ why you went after Holly? To tell her you're in love with her?"

Edward rubbed his tired eyes and surrendered with a shrug. "I just think about how close I was to losing her forever, and it makes me sick." He looked his father in the eye. "You and I both know they should be dead right now. The fact that she and Alice made it out of there alive is a miracle. Jesus Christ, I can't even _think _about … if something had happened to them. . . ." Edward trailed off, groaning through a haze of angst. "Josh is gone, Dad. I can't even imagine what Alice is feeling right now, knowing he's not coming back."

Carlisle softened when Edward brought it back to the bigger picture. Though his son had done a thorough job of messing things up for himself, he was right about one thing. The girls were damn lucky to have escaped after Satan himself had them in his grasp. "Yes, Josh is gone, and it's a terrible, unforgivable loss for us all. I can hardly wrap my mind around it," he admitted.

"I can't either; it just doesn't seem real. None of this does. All I can think about is Holly—about how much she's hurting and all the damage I've done. I can't even _comfort_ her right now," Edward said, closing his eyes and cursing his insurmountable stupidity.

Carlisle looked at his son and couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the poor fool. "Edward, I know you regret a lot when it comes to Holly. I also know you did the best you could, given the situation we were in. It was easier for you to close yourself off and hide inside your head. It must have been comforting to have Holly around anytime you needed a break from reality, and I know you aren't used to being in any sort of committed relationship, but all the back and forth with your feelings … it was no way to treat her."

Edward stared at the ground and thought of all the time and opportunity he let slip through his fingers. "I thought I wouldn't be able to hurt her if I didn't let myself get too close. But the truth is, I've never _been_ so close to anyone, and I've been hurting her the whole time."

Carlisle hummed his agreement. "Hindsight does tend to be crystal clear. But can't you see? The one you've been doing the most damage to is yourself. By keeping Holly at arms-length, you missed out on everything else she has to give. There are so many wonderful things that come along with loving someone and knowing they love you back—even on your darkest days. But you never gave Holly a chance."

Edward had known the things his father was telling him to be true for a long time, but hearing it laid out by the voice of reason was unbearable. "That's why I have to talk to her. No matter what happens, I have to make Holly understand that I wasn't just using her. I've loved her every moment since the day you and I talked—probably longer."

Carlisle only nodded his reply, but when Edward raised his eyebrows and shrugged emphatically, waiting for his father's reply, he leaned forward in his seat and looked intently at his son. "Listen to me, Edward. I know you love her, but things are different now." Carlisle's voice had taken on an edge he hadn't used with Edward in years. As a parent, he hated being blunt to the point of being harsh, and maybe that's why Edward was the way he was, but there were things Edward needed to get through his head. "Whether you want it to or not, whether _she _wants it to or not, this experience is going to change Holly forever. She just _lost_ the last shred of her real family. She's literally been to hell and back. The immediate danger might be over, but it's going to take time before she's ready for any sort of heightened connection again. I know you mean well, Edward, but you're too headstrong. You can't just swoop in and save the day once the sun has set."

Edward swallowed the boulder in his throat and realized he'd just have to accept that he'd done too little when he had the chance, and there was a possibility it was too late to do anything more. "You're right," he murmured in a broken whisper. "Help me, Dad. What do I do? What _can _I do? There must be something she needs right now—something I can give her."

Carlisle didn't budge an inch. Edward just wasn't getting it. "I can't begin to imagine how lost she feels right now. What Holly _needs_ is to feel safe; she needs to know she's not alone, and that she's surrounded by people who care about her. For cripes sake, she needs a friend." Carlisle put a hand on Edward's shoulder to emphasize his point. "There _is_ something you can do. You can forget for one second about what _you_ need or feel or think you have to say to Holly … just be her friend and realize that this is not about you. You're my son, and I say this with nothing but love, but if you can't figure out how to be there for her the way she's spent the past five months being there for you, then the best thing you can do is leave her alone. At least until her head is clear."

Edward sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his face, scrubbing away the salty moisture in his eyes before it could manifest. They sat in silence for several minutes before Edward spoke again. "I've completely screwed things up with her."

"If it's meant to be … then it will be. Her wounds will heal; just don't expect anything from her right now," Carlisle said, hoping Edward would heed his advice.

Edward leaned his head back to let everything stew in his mind, and the clock on the wall caught his attention. He sat upright when he realized it was half-past eight and Holly had been gone for over an hour. "Dad—"

Carlisle had noticed the time, as well, and cut Edward off. "Edward, she needs time. Give it to her."

Edward was already stiff with tension. "What if they found her?"

"I'm sure Holly is fine. If she's not back in twenty minutes, _I'll_ go look for her."

Edward nodded with reserve. In his mind, if anything happened to her, it would be his fault. _He_ was the reason why she wasn't in the waiting room with them where it was safe.

Holly cringed at the thought of eating; nothing sounded appealing. Physically, though, her body had gone into starvation mode. It'd been two days since she ate or drank anything; her head throbbed, her tongue was dry, and her vision blurred around the edges. The sooner she could get to the cafeteria and get something in her system, the better.

The short journey from the maternity ward was exhausting; her legs felt like lead, and every muscle in her body ached. She finally found her destination, and like Pavlov's dog, her mouth began to water when the smell of the grill hit her. She bypassed the hot food, choosing instead a cup of what she hoped was yogurt, a prepackaged sandwich, and two bottles of Evian.

Paying for her meal with money from the envelope Josh had given her in Seattle, Holly sat at a table in the corner and immediately chugged half of the first bottle. Her stomach churned in protested at the intrusion, and she paced herself after that, taking in the nourishment bit by bit.

Holly glanced around the cafeteria, thankful no one had searched her out yet. She thought of the night she'd had so far and the game of tug-of-war it had waged against her heart and mind. The past few days had brought great tragedy, but that night in particular, concocted a tedious mixture of feelings, both disastrous and divine. Between the loss of her brother, her fight with Edward, and the birth of the babies that shared the last of her DNA, Holly was emotionally shattered.

Instead of focusing on the positive, Holly was trapped in a purgatory of lament with all intelligible thoughts consumed by either her dead brother or her lost lover. Only moments ago, when Edward had finally found the good grace to stop following her, Holly boarded the first elevator she came to. Once the doors were closed and she was alone, she unleashed. She'd leaned against the far wall of the small space and slid down until her butt hit the ground, burying her face against her knees. With all the crying Holly had been doing, she was surprised to find there were any tears left to give. But Edward had given her a whole new set of emotions to deal with.

Picking at her sandwich, Holly thought about the fight they'd had the night before she left for Forks, and it couldn't have felt more trivial to her. After everything she'd been through in the last forty-eight hours, their ridiculous argument over Jake and all its pettiness just didn't mean the same to her. During her short departure, Holly had stared heartache, loss, and death in the face. She would gladly welcome a stupid misunderstanding over those other things, any day of the week. But she'd hardly been given the chance to start the mourning process over Josh when Edward had forced his way onto the battlefield. Holly didn't have the mental or physical capacity to drag her emotions through the dirt with him.

Despite their harsh confrontation only a short time ago, there was a massive, gaping hole between the two of them that Holly was desperate to bridge. She meant every word of the letter she'd written in the hotel room. When she closed her eyes, Holly could still picture the way his face looked just before she'd told him to leave her alone, and it was like acid to her already bleeding heart. The image of it would be forever emblazoned in her mind. His verdant eyes had been wild with a desperation that mirrored her own and pain had contorted his perfect features. Holly knew that feeling. Edward was a physical manifestation of the wretched anguish she'd felt the night he told her he didn't want her anymore.

Holly sat in the crowded cafeteria for a long time after finishing the yogurt and half of her sandwich. She stared off into space, contemplating what her next move should be. Where did she go from there when she had nothing left to go back home to? In his selfless act to save his family, Josh had abandoned her once again, and _that_, Holly realized, was a selfish thought. Nevertheless, it was true, and thinking about it induced the most hideous ache in her chest. Holly grasped her head in her hands, chastising the part of her that wanted to be angry with Josh for leaving her all over again.

In no particular order, the stages of grief were openly having their way with her, and while she preferred the numbness of denial, the truth was too prevalent to ignore. There was no denying what Josh had sacrificed, or the emptiness his absence left behind. Though Holly loved the Cullens and appreciated all that they'd done for her, continuing to impose herself on them didn't feel right either. She wasn't sure what to do or where she would belong once they made it back to the States.

With a heavy mind, Holly began to clean her mess of empty food wrappers. She wasn't ready to go back upstairs and face Edward again, but she also didn't want Carlisle and Esme to worry any more than they already were. Tossing her scraps in the garbage, Holly stuck the extra bottle of water in her bag and headed for the restroom.

Once inside, she turned on the facet, allowing the cold water fill her hands and flow onto her face. Grabbing a blind handful of paper towels, she wiped her face and neck. Raising her head, Holly looked at her reflection in the mirror and felt as if she was staring at a stranger. Her cheeks were gaunt, her eyes swollen and lined with heavy circles. She almost laughed despite her shock when she noticed the state her hair was in—flattened on one side and a rat's nest on the other. She fished a hair tie out of her bag and mashed the two messes into a single knot on the back of her head.

The bathroom door swung open and two members of the maintenance staff entered, wheeling a cart of supplies. Holly secured her bag across her chest and left them to their cleaning. Purely for the sake of procrastination, she circuited the fourteenth floor three times before returning to the hallway she'd originally come from. Holly took slow steps down the hall; she could _feel_ Edward's presence nearby. She stopped midway between Alice's room and the waiting room, her heart thundering as she got closer. Looking from one door to the other, she made a split-second decision. Glancing at the nurse's station, Holly was relieved to see it was momentarily unmanned. It was late, and surely, visiting hours were over. She took quick strides to Alice's door and knocked quietly before stepping in.

Both Alice and Esme looked up and smiled when she entered. "Holly, I'm glad you're here," Alice said, patting the bed beside her.

Holly's stirring anxiety was inexplicably pacified by the mere sight of them. She sat at the foot of Alice's bed and drew her legs underneath her. "Where are the kiddos?"

Esme smoothed the blanket she had draped across her lap. "The nurse just came for them so Alice can get settled for the night. They'll be back soon. How are things going across the hall? Did Carlisle get my message to call Jasper?"

"Oh, um … I don't know." Holly kept her eyes on the utilitarian green and white pattern of the bed sheet. "I haven't actually been back to the waiting room yet."

Esme nodded her head, noting that something was amiss but decidedly staying out of it. "That's okay. I'll just text him again. I'll also let him know you're here so he doesn't worry," she said and retrieved her phone from the pocket of her sweater.

Holly wanted nothing more than to get her mind off the room across the hall. She leaned forward and took Alice's hands. "You must be exhausted. How do you feel?"

Shrugging, Alice answered honestly. "Terrible and wonderful at the same time—I'm elated one minute and manic the next. It's dizzying. I just want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes without seeing his face," she said, speaking of her lost husband. Shaking her head to clear the thoughts, Alice squeezed Holly's hands. "How about you? How do you feel?"

Holly pulled away and drew in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to put her feelings into words as she toyed with a loose thread on the cuff of her jacket. "It feels … like I'm in a nightmare that just won't end. Everything that's happened since Josh told me he was coming to get you has been a blur."

"Even before then, I'm sure," Esme said with empathy. She knew precisely when the rodeo really began, and the vision of her son breaking Jacob Black's nose played in her mind. She shuddered.

Alice sat back and folded her hands in her lap. "Mom filled me in on your trip to Forks. I'm so glad he decided to go and you had that time together before …" She trailed off, her chin quivering as her eyes fell to her wedding band.

Holly closed her eyes. "Josh knew he wasn't coming back when he asked me to go home with him. The worst part is, I didn't even _want_ to go. I was so wrapped up in—" Holly stopped herself and rubbed her eyes, whispering, "How horrible if I hadn't gone."

"But you did go," Esme reaffirmed. "Josh loved you very much, Holly, despite your history. It's a shame how long it took you two to find each other again, but you did and that's all that matters."

Holly nodded but couldn't speak. A tear slipped out, and she mopped it up with her sleeve, but it was no use as more tumbled out after it. Alice sniffed and wiped her face, shaking her head from side to side. "I can't … please, someone talk about something else—just . . . ." Alice blew her nose and rolled her bleary eyes when both Esme and Holly remained silent. "Please, anything! I've been gone a long time. I've missed a lot."

Before either could respond, Carlisle poked his head in the door. "Knock-knock," he said, entering the room with a brown paper bag in his left hand. Crossing the room, he kissed both Esme and Alice on the head and smoothed a loving hand over Holly's hair. "I just came to tell you I got your messages. Jasper informed Detective Andrews of everything that's happened. Andrews has been instructed to keep it tight-lipped until we're safe at home. Jasper also got in touch with the American Embassy here in Milan. They're going to escort us out of the country when we're ready to leave. The authorities have been dispatched to every known Volturi residence in the area. If Aro is still alive, it's probable that he's already fled the scene. I just hope we get out of here before the media catches wind of everything."

"The media?" Alice questioned.

Carlisle gave a haggard sigh. "Yeah, well, the fact that Aro not only escaped police custody but also kidnapped the wife of the attorney who put him away has given them a lot to go on. We've been able to tune a lot of it out, and most of it was just over-sensationalized crap, but yes, they've been having a field day over you," Carlisle said and turned to Holly. "Should I have the hospital bring some extra blankets to the waiting room for you? Or we could go to a hotel, if you'd prefer. I'm sure you're tired of sleeping in chairs."

"Don't be silly; the waiting room will be fine," Holly said, touched by Carlisle's generosity. But in her unsettled mind, his offer only underlined what a burden she had become. While Holly would never dream of asking anyone to leave the hospital, her heart rate spiked at the thought of spending the night in the waiting room and enduring another confrontation with Edward.

Before Holly could move to get up from her spot on the bed, Esme came to her rescue. "She's perfect right where she is; there's plenty of room here. Just tell them to send the bedding to Alice's room. If they have a problem with it, tell them to come see me," she finished, giving Holly a warm, understanding smile.

Carlisle smiled at his wife's tenacity. Truthfully, he was relieved. Though Edward had calmed considerably after finding out Holly was with the girls, he was still working on getting a grip. What he needed was a Xanax, but some rest and a little time to think would have to do well enough. "Good, then. You girls get some sleep. Holly, these are for you." He set the bag on the floor beside the bed and shrugged. "It's a change of clothes. I don't know if there's anything to sleep in, or if it will even fit. Edward picked them out; his spatial intelligence can be questionable at times," he said with half a smile, attempting to make light.

"Oh." Holly nodded and drew her eyebrows together in earnest. "Thank you, Carlisle. For bringing them over, I mean." Carlisle winked and said goodnight to them all. After he shut the door, Holly turned to the Esme with humble gratitude. "Thank you. I don't mind sleeping in the waiting room, it's just that things are …" Holly trailed off with a defeated shrug.

"I know," Esme whispered with a smile that crinkled her tired eyes. With a heavy sigh, she changed the subject. "Well, he's right about one thing; Edward doesn't have a _clue_ when it comes to women's sizes. He once gave me a moo-moo for Mother's Day—said it reminded him of me," she said with wry.

"I remember," Alice concurred with a tender smile. "It was hideous."

"Yes, well, let's see if the poor boy has learned anything in the last fifteen years, shall we?" Esme said, nodding expectantly at Holly.

A smile tugged at the corner of Holly's mouth, and she hefted the bag onto the bed. The other side of her mouth rose, as well, when she peered inside. "I don't think these are for me," she said, pulling out two stuffed elephants: one blue and one pink.

Alice pushed her bottom lip out and reached for them. "Aw, Uncle Edward."

Holly reached back into the bag and retrieved what turned out to be a pair of maroon sweatpants. They unrolled to an ungodly length and Esme tsked, looking at the tag. "A men's medium. Oh, Edward," she chided. Holly held up the last item in the bag: a petite, white T-shirt.

"What the …" Alice sat up and grabbed the sleeve of the garment to look at the size. "It's a child's size large," she said and looked at Holly in confusion. They both turned to Esme, who was red-faced and shaking in her chair with silent hysterics. Alice snorted and giggles formed in the back of her throat. Of all the dumb things to laugh about, but she couldn't have stopped if she wanted to.

Holly looked at the two of them and then back at the clothes. Clutching the garments to her chest, she pressed her lips together in an attempt to kill her own smile at his oblivion. "I can't believe he did this. What a thoughtful gesture." It was no use. She barely made it through the last word before joining in their fit of wildly inappropriate laughter. It was a wonder how the mind worked, taking unexpected and unstoppable measures to ease its burden. But for the moment, they welcomed the release.

When the laughs simmered down to nothing more than an occasional chuckle, Alice sighed and laid back on her pillows, staring at the ceiling. The emission of emotional steam had been a brief escape, but the moment ended as quickly as it had begun, and reality was right there to smack her in the face. No matter what happened from there on out, her heart would never feel the same again without Josh.

Holly excused herself and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She took the gift from Edward with her to the small bathroom in the corner of the room and peeled off the clothing she'd been wearing for the last four days. There was a showerhead in the corner, and Holly eyed it like it was the last Coke in the desert before crossing the tight space and turning it on.

The water pressure was lacking, but she didn't care. Holly stepped under the slow, cool stream and welcomed the feel of the water running down her back. There was only a tiny bar of soap to wash with, and she ripped the packaging open, scrubbing it over her body before using it to wash her matted hair.

Once clean, Holly turned off the water and dried herself with the lone, scratchy towel that hung on the back of the door. She held up the sweatpants; they were nearly as tall as she was. She smiled, but any mirth Holly was feeling quickly faded when she thought of who had picked them out for her.

All she wanted to do was run across the hall, fall into Edward's arms, and let him heal the many gaping wounds in her chest. But she couldn't do that. The voice in her head reminded her that she'd set fire to the frail bridge between them earlier with her harsh outburst. Running to him now would only serve to make things worse.

Holly quickly dressed. She rolled the waistband of the pants several times to keep them from falling down and stretched the shirt with her arms to get it over her torso. The neck was too tight and the length was too short, just covering her bellybutton. Regardless, it felt good to put on clean clothes. She rolled her jeans and tank top into a tight bundle and shoved them into her bag, opting to keep her jacket with her in case she had to leave the room for anything. After rinsing her mouth with water from the sink, Holly dug a hairbrush out of her bag and made her way back to Alice and Esme.

The night nurse was just leaving, having delivered the extra set of blankets, as well as the babies. Holly smiled at the sight of them fast asleep against Alice's chest as she raked the brush through her impossible tangles. The bar of soap that she'd used as shampoo only seemed to make matters worse.

Esme sat up in her chair with a leg on either side of the ottoman she'd been resting her feet on. "Have a seat, Holly. I'll brush your hair."

Holly did as she was told, handing Esme the brush. "I don't think there's any hope for it at this point, but you're welcome to try."

Esme responded with a soft laugh, and once Holly was settled, she went to work, beginning with the ends and working her way up a half-inch at a time. "I used to do this for Alice when she was little." She smiled in nostalgia and looked at her daughter. "You had such long, thick hair. And after playing so rough all day, it was a nightmare to brush. She was always trying to keep up with the boys."

Holly smiled at the thought of little Alice forcing her presence on her brothers. "I bet they put you through hell," she said with a chuckle.

"Quite the opposite, actually. Alice could hold her own," Esme said, and Holly raised her eyebrows at Alice in surprise.

"Absolutely," Alice said, shrugging one shoulder. "I owned those boys. They worked for _me._"

Laughing, Holly thought of her own brother. Between Josh and his neighborhood friends, she knew what a gang of immature boys was capable of. Like Alice, and all little sisters, Holly tried her best to be one of the group. But she didn't have the iron fist Alice did and often paid dearly for her intrusion. Somehow, she always ended up getting hurt and ruining everyone's fun. However, Josh never failed to drop what he was doing, give who'd ever hurt her a piece of his mind, and walk her back to the house. He'd sit her down on the stump their father used for chopping wood and rid her of any signs of wounds or tears before sending her inside to their mother.

Holly laid her head back in attempt to keep the tears from surfacing again as Esme continued to groom her. She closed her eyes and let the physical contact heal her broken soul. Despite the negativity her mind had conjured up earlier, the Cullens had treated her as family from the beginning without pretense. Their unfailing generosity overwhelmed Holly, and she didn't know what to do with it now that Josh wasn't around.

After a several moments of silence, Alice whispered, "Thank you, Holly."

Holly's frame sagged. "Please don't thank me," she said in a gentle plea.

Alice's eyes were haunted, desperate, and beautiful. "I need you to always be in my life. In _their_ lives," she said, looking at her newborns and clutching all she had left against her breast.

Esme had been busy winding Holly's hair into a loose braid. Tying it off, she laid it over Holly's left shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "We all feel the same, you know that. You've always been one of us, Holly. That will never change."

Holly's stomach clenched and her nose twitched; her heart was so conflicted. Before Alice disappeared, the Cullens lived a life full of love for one another. Holly had never seen anything like it, and she grew to love them, to need them, too. But how could she stay and live in their world as an outsider? Or exist side-by-side with Edward when all they seemed to know how to do was hurt each other?

She rocked lightly in her seat, teetering on the edge of a dam. Holly was afraid if she opened her mouth, she would lose her grip. Swallowing her tears, she croaked a response anyway. "I love you guys, too."

Esme squeezed Holly's shoulders and stood up. "I think I'll go brush my teeth. Holly, I'll help you make up the other chair when I'm done. I think we all need to try and get some rest."

When Esme disappeared, Holly got up to retrieve the bedding. There was no way she would be able to fall asleep, and she began preparing for a long, lonely night ahead.

Early the next morning, Holly boarded the elevator with an elderly couple. Balancing a tray of coffee and pastries, she pushed the button that would take her back to the fourteenth floor. When the nurse had called to take Alice's breakfast order, Holly volunteered to go instead. She'd stayed up most of the night, listening to the haunting melody of Alice's quiet sorrow, using the dark solitude to mourn her brother, as well. She thought the brief escape might do her aching mind some good.

Looking at her reflection in the mirrored wall, she tried with half a heart to make herself look decent. Her hair was still braided, thanks to Esme, and Holly combed her fingers through her bangs, sweeping them to the side. She zipped her jacket up and pinched her cheeks. There was no hope for beauty, but she could at least try to pass for human. The elevator door opened with its telltale ding, and she adjusted the bag on her shoulder. Taking one last look at her reflection, Holly rolled her eyes at herself. _Ugh, who cares?_ she thought.

She exited behind the elderly couple and walked down two hallways before realizing she'd gotten off on the wrong floor. Holly sighed at her own absent mind and turned around to head back the way she came. The floor she was on bustled with action, and she nearly lost a couple of coffees when a doctor shoved past her, his white coat flapping behind him. Phones rang, call lights buzzed from every direction, and somewhere nearby, people were shouting.

The yelling grew closer as Holly turned a corner and made her way toward the elevator. Through her musing, a familiar voice caught her attention and she stopped in her tracks. She had to strain to hear the argument through the constant buzz of action around her, but the voice she heard was one she would never mistake.

"Holy shit," she murmured under her breath, and her brain screamed at her to start moving. Holly deposited the tray on the top surface of a large, fiberglass trash bin, and with a pounding heart, she took quick strides to approach the adjoining hallway on her right. Peering around the corner, Holly nearly fell to her knees.

In the middle of the hallway, ripping various tubes and wires from his body, was Josh. He was mid-argument with two nurses when he looked up and saw his sister. "Holly!" he yelled, hobbling as best he could with a crutch stuck under one arm.


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Chapter Notes:

Hey, everyone! Back again with another chapter! Did you notice the new little addition under my banner? More about that after the chapter.

The song for this chapter is "Comes and Goes" by Greg Laswell. Please listen; you won't be disappointed.

I know I left you hanging last time, so we'll just get right to it, but see me at the end of the chapter. I have a TON of stuff to share :)

Chapter Twenty-Five

"Josh!" Holly sprinted the distance to her brother and threw her arms around him. Josh dropped the crutch from under his arm and returned her fervid embrace. He yelped when she gripped his shoulder, and Holly immediately pulled away. "Shit, sorry! You're alive! Josh, how are you _here _right now?" she asked, stumbling over her consternation.

Josh didn't answer. All he could do was mutter a prayer of thanks as he clutched her to him once again, cringing through the pain that screamed in his shoulder. A single thought forced its way to the front of his mind, and he jerked her away. "Alice! Is she hurt?"

Holly was too stunned for tears. In fact, she was so happy to see Josh, she had the odd desire to laugh. "Yes! I mean _no_! Alice is fine! She had the babies, Josh. Oh, God, they're so beautiful. And Carlisle, Esme, and Edward are here, too. I used the phone you gave me to call them and they came right away." Holly was speaking a mile a minute and neither paid any attention to the nurses yelling at them from either side.

Josh let out a gust of breath. "Take me now. I have to see my children-Alice," he said; the anxiety grew inside him.

Holly bent down to grab his crutch while he turned to the nurses and yelled something in Italian, effectively shutting them up. She helped him get situated and squeezed his free hand, still in utter shock. "This way."

They walked the short distance to the elevator, and Holly kept him from tripping over the break in the floor. Tears of joy clouded her vision, and she had to wipe them away in order to see the panel of buttons. She waited until the doors were closed before she turned her curiosity loose. "What happened to you, Josh? How did you get away from Aro? Does he know where you are? Why didn't you call me? I thought you were dead!"

Josh eased himself back into the corner, using the two adjoining walls and his crutch for support. He was exhausted, and all the haste to see his family had already taken a toll on him. "I don't remember how I ended up here; I wasn't awake for it. What I can remember ... never mind right now. I want to hear everything that happened to you."

Holly shook her head and ran her hands through her hair. "It was all so crazy. After we left, that boy, Niccolo, put Alice and me in a car. She immediately went into labor, and we were dropped off here. Before we left, Niccolo said he was going back for you, but I didn't think there was any way. . . . " She trailed off, shaking her head. "We were so scared for you, Josh. I heard the gunshots as we were leaving, and I thought. . . ."

The bell sounded and the door opened. Josh took slow measures to prepare himself to move again. "Is this the floor?" he asked; pain weighed down his words and contorted his face.

"Yes, down the hall to the right," Holly told him and stepped aside as he staggered past her with surprising speed, pushing through the pain to see his family.

In his frantic, adrenaline-fueled flight, Josh almost walked right past Alice's room. He stopped and whirled around too fast, sending sparks of pain down his leg and across his chest. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Everyone was there: Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice, and the babies. Alice's jaw fell and the air whooshed out of her lungs.

There were cries of surprise, and everyone but Alice was on their feet in an instant. Josh ignored the faces that were closing in around him. His eyes were locked on Alice's as he made his way to her bedside. He dropped his crutch, and it clattered to the floor behind him. Bearing all his weight onto the bedframe, Josh eased himself onto the bed beside her. Grabbing the frame above her head, he hovered over the three most beautiful faces in his world.

He was barely able to take his eyes from Alice to look at his children, but when he finally did, his heart raptured. "Our babies," he murmured on the verge of losing it. Josh brought his eyes back to Alice's, and he whispered, "Hi."

Alice broke through her shock and her face crumpled. "You're alive," she managed as the dam broke and tears poured from her eyes.

At once, Josh covered her mouth with his, pressing his weight into her. Their kiss was frantic and suffocating with need. With the last of his stamina, he pulled away from Alice when a tiny squeal from between them broke the bubble they were in.

Carlisle saw his struggle and quickly slid a chair behind him, guiding him down by his un-bandaged shoulder. Josh sagged into the chair, reluctant but fatigued, and reached out for his newborns. Esme was quick to assist. She took them from Alice, one by one, placing them both in the crook of Josh's good arm, making sure to stay close by in his weakened state.

His own tears fell in a silent, continuous stream as he gazed into the perfect faces of his babies. Daft, watery emotions stole all of his fears, and he smiled through the sob that wouldn't stay down. "What are their names?"

Alice smiled, wiping her eyes. "Joshua and Nicola," she answered, and Josh repeated the names as he looked at each one. Alice's heart raced in her chest. "Josh, how did you get out of there?"

His sheer happiness drowned out everything except the two bundles against his chest and the miraculous, euphoric connection he could feel his soul making with them. He continued to look back and forth between Joshua and Nicola, smiling with pride at the little boy who carried his name and with reverence at the little girl who boasted their savior's. "They're perfect. Both of them are absolutely perfect."

Crouched by his side, Esme cried into Josh's knee. "Oh, Josh, we're so glad to see you," she said through her sobs. Carlisle stepped in and put a hand on his granddaughter's head as he kissed the top of Josh's. "Thank you for saving Alice," he whispered before standing upright. "Do you remember anything at all? We were prepared for the worst."

Josh was trapped in an awestruck daze. He opened his mouth to speak but swallowed and choked on another sob. "We're all here ... we're all alive. Thank you, God," he said, closing his eyes as he pressed his lips to his son's head.

Edward knelt down on the opposite side of Josh's chair as his mother. "Welcome back, brother. I should've known you'd find your way out of there, come hell or high water." Josh looked at Edward with a quivering chin; he couldn't speak.

"All right, let's give the man some room," Carlisle said with a hand on Edward's shoulder. Edward gave Josh's thigh a squeeze and stood up while Esme stayed close to the children.

Alice wiped away more tears and scooted herself to the edge of the bed to be as close to Josh as possible. "Baby, you look like you just woke up from a coma. Tell me what happened to you."

Josh looked up at Alice, and his eyes focused in an instant, but before he could answer, one of the dark-haired nurses from the hallway downstairs entered the room. "Joshua McNamera?" she inquired, looking around the room until she found her missing patient. She sighed heavily. "Mr. McNamera, you must return to your room. You are not well enough to be running around the hospital. I have a wheelchair waiting. Please, let me help you back downstairs."

"No," he snarled, clutching his son and daughter tighter against his chest. "I just found my family. I'm not leaving."

"_Signore_, please, let us help you. We will be able to move you out of intensive care, but you still need to be monitored. Your wounds are healing, but still severe. You must be in a lot of pain right now. You need medicine and rest."

Josh remained firm. "If I'm well enough to be in a regular room, then I'm fine."

"_Signore_, please-" the nurse began, but Josh cut her off.

"I said no!"

Alice began crying, and Carlisle stepped in to try and moderate. "Josh, I know you don't want to go, but perhaps it would be best if-"

Again, Josh interrupted, his voice growing weaker by the second. "Carlisle, no." He turned to the nurse, apologetic but desperately determined. "If you don't think I'm ready to be discharged, then I'll sign myself out AMA. Hell, I don't care if you drag my bed up here, but I'm not leaving this room."

"Baby," Alice whispered through her tears. She was torn; she couldn't stand the thought of Josh leaving again, but if he was as wounded as he looked, he needed to take the care that was being offered.

Josh shook his head, pleading with her. "I can't ... I _can't_." His voice was nothing but a frightened whisper, and he rocked in his seat as the babies fussed and fidgeted against him.

The nurse sighed in defeat, and Alice turned to her. "What exactly are his injuries? How bad off is my husband?"

"_Signore_ is recovering from two bullet wounds. He was shot once in the lower leg, the impact of which fractured his tibia-the smaller of the two bones there. He was also grazed in the chest near his shoulder. There are multiple facial wounds-a large gash on his cheek that we closed up with stitches. He'll need to be on antibiotics for the next few days to keep infection out. Several of his teeth were shattered, and he'll need to visit a dentist soon," she stated with a thick accent, shooting Josh a stern look. "He's lucky to be alive, if you ask me. He had surgery yesterday morning, and thank God the drugs have kept him down for the last twenty-four hours. I thought I was seeing things when I came out of another patient's room and saw him walk right past me. Then, this one shows up" -She motioned to Holly- "and they took off. This is not good, _Signore_ McNamera. You need rest and sleep."

"I told you, I'm staying. I feel fine," Josh lied; the throbbing pain in his shoulder, chest, leg, and face told him otherwise. "Just send up the paperwork and whatever prescriptions you need me to take, and I'll sign myself out."

The nurse shook her head and started toward the door, muttering his stupidity in Italian under her breath.

Josh looked into Alice's worried eyes. "I'm not leaving you ever again. I'm not leaving my family. I've already missed so much," he said, thinking of how close he'd come to losing all of them for good. He'd already missed her entire pregnancy, not to mention the birth of the twins. No matter what state he was in, he swore to himself he would never miss anything ever again.

Alice was still reeling from the nurse's account; she felt like she was in a dream. Her husband was alive, not dead. He was alive and he was right there in front of her. The sudden 180 overwhelmed her heart and mind. "My God, Josh, you were _shot._ _Twice! _I still don't understand how you're made it here. You have to tell us," she said, her whole body shaking under the weight of her emotions.

Josh began to tense up just thinking about the final showdown with Aro when Esme stood up and reached for the babies. Josh all but forgot she was there and flinched away from her. He was scared to let Joshua and Nicola go, as if they might disappear the second he released them.

"It's okay, honey," Esme said with a gentle, easy smile. Josh nodded and his aching arms gave them up to her. She handed baby Joshua to Edward, who was closest to her, and Nicola she nestled against her bosom, taking a seat in the chair next to Carlisle's. Everyone waited patiently for Josh to gather himself, and Holly crawled across the bed to sit next to Alice.

Josh took a deep breath and started at the beginning. "I'm sure Holly told you her account already, but she had no idea of my plans to get her and Alice out of there." He looked at Holly with regret before closing his eyes and leaned his head back in an attempt to concentrate on his words instead of the physical pain that assaulted him from every angle. "Aro sent me a message and made it crystal clear what he wanted. He promised to let Alice go if I came to Italy and traded places with her. There was never a question in my mind; whatever he wanted, I would do it as long as it meant Alice could go home.

"I was so consumed by the notion of getting her back that I didn't want to think about what ulterior motives he had up his sleeve. And that's what Holly pointed out to me the day we went to Forks. She wanted to be there to make sure Alice got home safely. It was stupid and selfish of me to let her come, but at the time, it made sense. As soon as we arrived at the mansion, they put the two of us in different rooms. I think that was my lowest point. I hadn't seen Alice yet, and I was sick with worry about what they were doing to Holly. Aro's nephews are ruthless, and I found out firsthand what they were capable of," he said, gesturing to his face. Josh looked at Holly again. "You promise they didn't touch you? You don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed."

Everyone looked at Holly, but she shook her head in earnest. "No, I swear. Well, some frightening Italian woman made me take a bath-I still can't figure that one out-but that's it."

"A bath?" Esme questioned.

Holly nodded. "Yeah, it was so bizarre. I was scared out of my mind. I was naked and vulnerable; I didn't know what to do so I just sat in the tub and cried. At that point, I wasn't sure if I'd ever see Josh again," she said as her mind relived the utter helplessness of the long couple of hours she spent alone.

Edward was ready to bolt out of his chair and take her in his arms, but some unseen force held him in place. He knew the comfort he wanted to give her wasn't welcome, and his inability to give it to her was painful. The previous night, when Carlisle had returned from Alice's room to drop off the set of clothes he picked up for Holly, he strongly advised Edward to back off. Carlisle reassured him that the clothing was a nice gesture, and it was greatly appreciated, but he was going to have to be patient and let her process things before they talked. Patience was one virtue that Edward had never possessed, and learning to hone it was killing him.

"What happened while you were alone? How did you manage to come up with a plan?" Alice asked, turning back to Josh.

He drew a deep breath, thinking of the boy who saved them all. Josh told them of meeting Niccolo and his brief hesitancy to trust him. "He had a soft spot for Alice. He said she was the nicest lady he'd ever met, and he didn't want her to die. We didn't have many options, and what we did come up with was shaky as hell. It was all a crapshoot. If it didn't work, I could have gotten us all killed. Turns out, that's what was coming anyway so I guess it wouldn't have mattered.

"Holly and I were taken into Alice's room, and seeing her there, chained to the bed ... there was enough adrenaline inside me to take them all out myself or die trying. Aro got lost in his theatrics, as he did in the trial, and Niccolo created the diversion we needed to strike. He took out Aro's two nephews, and I tried to do the same to Aro, but my aim was off. I thought I'd only clipped him in the shoulder-enough to wound him-but I knew he wasn't down for good. Holly and I got Alice into a wheelchair, and Niccolo led them to safety."

"The shots. After we left, there were more shots," Holly said, gripping the edge of the mattress beneath her.

Josh nodded and his eyes dropped to his hands. "Aro found his bearings, but he was weak and wheezing. I guess I got him in the lung. He took a blind shot and hit me in the leg which put me on my ass. I rolled over and found myself staring down the barrel of his gun. We each squeezed off one more round, and I ... finished him. I-I killed him. I watched him die just before I blacked out. . ." Josh finally looked around at the teary, stricken faces of his family. He interpreted their horror as shame and couldn't bear the weight of it. His eyes fell to the floor once again as he continued. "Then I woke up here."

Breathing hard and biting back her sobs, Alice slid off the bed and onto her knees before him. He cupped her face, and she grabbed his hands, pressing them to her cheeks. She looked up into tortured eyes. "You risked everything to save us. We'd all be dead right now if you hadn't done what you did. Killing that evil son of a bitch was the only way to end it, Josh. I would have done it long ago if I'd had the opportunity. And believe me, I looked for one every single day."

Her morbid reassurance made Josh's heart bleed. He had no idea how he would ever truly cope with ending another person's life-no matter who's it was. But as long as Alice still loved him, he would find a way. "I love you so much, Alice. I wish we could leave now. I wish I could take you home."

Alice shushed him with a soft wisp of breath and carefully snaked her arms around his neck. He wrapped his good arm around her and pressed his lips to whatever part of her face they could reach.

Carlisle cleared the rising emotion out of his throat. He stood up and nodded to Josh; there was much that needed to get done, and he would do everything he could to get them out of there. "I'll call Jasper and have him get in touch with the DA back home, then I'll call the embassy. They'll put us in touch with a local attorney who can explain our rights." Josh nodded, his face in Alice's hair. Carlisle gave him a soft look before turning to the others. "Let's give these two some privacy before the chaos begins."

Alice stood and took Nicola from Esme, handing her to Josh before taking her tiny son from Edward. Esme followed Carlisle out of the room, the phone already pressed against his head. Holly stood and started for the door with hesitation. She paused at the doorframe and looked to Josh. "I'll come back later." She looked briefly to Edward, who stood unmoving in the middle of the room. His eyes remained trained on her as she turned and disappeared.

Edward looked at Josh and Alice, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll go; I just wanted to say sorry for everything, Josh. I put you through hell, and I wasn't focused. I should have been the one to go with you, and I'm sorry I wasn't."

Josh raised his head. "Edward, I didn't want anyone else getting hurt. And if I would've let Holly stay, she would have told everyone. Who knows how things would have ended? I can't even think about it."

"Regardless, I'm sorry. And thank you for saving my sister," Edward said and scratched his fingers through his hair. He turned on his heel to leave but stopped at the door. "I love you guys. I'll be back when the attorney gets here, Josh. We can all use a lesson in Italian law."

"Love you, too," Josh and Alice murmured in unison.

Edward left the room, closing the door behind him. He took one step into the hallway and looked up to see Holly standing outside the waiting room. Edward froze; his lips parted and a slow breath passed between them. "Hi."

"Hey," Holly replied and brought a hand to her forehead, wondering what the hell she was doing. "I didn't get a chance to say thank you for the clothes. So ... thank you."

Edward opened his mouth but shook his head, putting a stop to what was threatening to come out of him. He wanted to tell her that anything she ever needed was hers; all she had to do was ask. Somehow, he had to keep himself from backsliding down that particular slope of moment-killing emotions. Edward swallowed hard, consuming his instincts. "You're welcome."

Holly nodded and looked away, unable to withstand the look on his face. "I know we need to talk about things, Edward. I just ... wanted to say sorry for last night-for yelling at you."

"I should never have approached you like that," Edward murmured, still welded to the ground. He was afraid any sudden movements would shatter his delicate control.

Shrugging a tired shoulder, Holly finally met his eyes. "I know why you did." They held onto each other's gaze for a long moment, both searching for something.

Edward finally blinked and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to break the spell she had on him. He shook his head and chuckled once without humor, muttering under his breath. "You are not making this easy for me."

Holly's frame heaved, knowing she'd blown things to bits with Edward the night before with her stress-induced meltdown. He was finally done fighting. She couldn't blame him; they had a relatively short run that only seemed lengthened by circumstance. They were constantly at odds with either themselves or each other. As much as they may have wanted to be, they were rarely on the same wavelength-always off waging separate wars.

Closing her eyes, Holly sighed. "Yeah, I guess I'm not making this easy for either of us. I just wanted to apologize," she said, taking a step back toward the door of the waiting room. "Sorry." Holly turned on her heel and walked through the corridor.

As soon as she was out of sight, Edward sagged against the door he'd come out of. His stomach was in knots, and his mind was thoroughly fucked. Too much had happened too fast, and he doubled over to ease the vertigo. The waiting room door opened again, and Edward's head snapped up to see Carlisle.

"I need you to keep Jasper on the line while I talk to the District Attorney." There was no question in Carlisle's tone; Edward needed to help him get to work so they could go home.

Edward took the phone and followed his father into the waiting room. He paced by the windows, keeping his eyes on the ground as he answered Jasper's questions about Alice and Josh. Edward was filled in on the activity in Seattle, as well. To keep a lid on things as best they could, Jasper and Detective Andrews had bypassed the police and went straight to the prosecution. Edward could hear his father behind him, hopefully speaking to someone else who could help.

It was the start of a very long day, filled with questions, phone calls, and unfamiliar faces. Due to the case's high, bi-coastal profile, the embassy was swift to send an attaché to the hospital. She came armed with a team of attorneys, all waiting to sink their teeth into the case.

What the Volturi family was on American soil, was a hundred times greater on Italian. The northern country had been under their thumb of tyranny since the turn of the century when they first arrived from Sicily. The family opened a vineyard, and one patch of grapes soon grew to encompass most of the Piedmont Region. As generations passed, their domination of land and resources-their evil-had reached much farther than that.

Precincts from all over the north were banding together and planning a massive raid of every piece of real estate under the Volturi name. The attorneys, along with the _Polizia di Stato_, took statements from everyone, putting a heavy focus on Josh, Alice, and Holly. Because of Aro's death, Josh was separated from everyone first and questioned the longest.

It was hours upon hours later when Alice, Holly, and the rest of the Cullens were finished with their interrogations, and the sun set well before Josh was finally released. The babies had been under the care of the hospital all day, and Alice was in the waiting room, sitting with Holly and Esme when the attaché, Nina, escorted Josh in wearing an expression that was both weary and confident.

Alice stood from her chair on shaky legs. Though Josh had merely been protecting his life and those of the ones he loved, a man's blood was on his hands. Alice couldn't stop the occasional rise of panic, fearing that all hell would break loose and there would be some loophole that would keep Josh in peril-keep him from being able to leave-thus keeping the eternal nightmare from ending.

Everyone else stood, as well, when they approached. Nina spoke, focusing her attention on Alice. "Mrs. McNamera, you'll be discharged first thing tomorrow morning. The state of Washington is sending a plane, and you'll all be going home."

"All of us?" Alice asked, meeting Josh's soft gaze. He nodded, clenching his jaw against the emotion developing in his chest. A loud sob escaped Alice as she closed the distance between them in three quick steps and crashed into him.

Josh was all but numb to his wounds at that point, and he wrapped his arms around his wife. He pressed her head to his chest and buried his tears in her hair. The pressure that had been weighing him down for six months was finally gone, and the nightmare was over. Between Alice and the twins, his heart was split into three, equally infinite pieces, and he wept, knowing he would never have to be without his family again.

Chapter End Notes:

*tear* Hey again! So, there you have it. Everyone is back together, and the nightmare is over. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed dreaming it up.

Before I get to _my_ news, I want to thank my betas. Alice's White Rabbit has reached diamond status in my book. She has been an invaluable wealth of knowlege, especially with the past few chapters. I know I can ping her anytime with any question, and she'll be there to help me find the answer. Love her.

Also, huge, congratulatory hugs for my validation beta, Kherisma. The amount of time and attention she gives to me and my story is incredible. She's a true teacher who really cares about her work, and anyone who works with her would tell you the same. That being said, I'm honored to tell you that she's been nominated an Energize W.I.P Award for 'Most Motivational Beta'! She taught me everything I know with patience and encouragement, and she deserves recognition.

Speaking of awards ... Yours Truly has also been nominated for an Energize W.I.P Award for 'Most Promising Twilight Fanfiction-non canon'! I can NOT believe one (or more?) of you wonderful humans nominated this story as most promising. I'm floored, flattered, and completely tongue-tied. Thank you all so much for giving these characters a chance and loving them so much. I'm so blessed that this story has such a supportive group of fans. Love you guys! Voting ends on Saturday, July 20th, so here's the link:

Okay, before you go vote for me and the girl that makes this story happen (Kherisma), I have more. I just realized as I was writing the next chapter, that we have almost come to the end of the road. I feel like I should have given you guys a five-chapter warning or something! While it might be a little less than five chapters, we still have a couple more to get throught (Uh, hello? What about Edward and Holly?)

Okay, FINAL thing, I promise. I want to ask you all to put me on Author Alert. I have a new story in the works, and I'll begin posting it in the next couple of weeks! I want you all to take the ride with me, too. It will be my first Edward/Bella story (sorry, Hol).

All right. I'm done. All out of stuff to say now.

Thanks again and see ya next time!


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Chapter Notes:

Hi again! Bet you didn't expect to see me so soon. Well, this chapter has been burning a hole in my brain for a few months now, and it all just came pouring out. I hope you enjoy :D

The song for this chapter is "Come Back Down" by Greg Laswell and Sara Bareilles. Yes, I know it's the second Greg Laswell song in a row, but what can I say? The man has a direct line to my heart. The lyrics are simple and blunt. It's basically what everyone has been telling Holly and Edward for months, and definitely what I would say to them if I had the chance. I hope you listen and love. Here's the link:

watch?v=zIDLtWETlb4

Read on, and I'll see you at the bottom.

Twenty-Six

The Cullens and MacNameras arrived home late Wednesday evening, and Seattle was an absolute whirlwind of media, cameras, and police. The interview process everyone endured at the hospital seem like a cakewalk compared to what they came home to. Attorneys and detectives traipsed in and out of Josh and Alice's house in an endless parade of crisp suits and dull ties, and the questions, interviews, and statements dragged on for days, finally wrapping up late the following week.

While the police scurried about, concentrating on the details of Alice's recovery and Aro's death, the family focused on adjusting to some form of normalcy after nearly half a year of anything but. But not even Carlisle's significant legal pull could keep the press away. With all the attention, settling into life-as-usual was impossible. With the return of Alice and the babies, it seemed like the whole world was waiting to find out the details-who, what, when, where, how, and why-and things were even crazier than they were in the beginning.

Holly's former chaperone, Mike, and the rest of Carlisle's security team did the best they could to shield the family from the sensation-hungry media, but their constant attention and the never-ending interrogations were exhausting. It wasn't until a week and a half later that everyone felt they could safely go back to their own homes when they were ready without fighting through a sea of cameras.

Edward finally left the MacNamera residence on Sunday morning, just as Holly was waking up. She watched from her bedroom window with a heavy heart as Edward and Jasper got into his Volvo and drove out of sight.

After Holly's weak apology to Edward in the maternity ward, a long, difficult talk between them seemed imminent. She'd been on edge ever since she left him standing outside the waiting room. Holly feared the face-to-face, knowing that, at any given moment, he might approach her to hash things out, just as he had the night the twins were born. But it never came. Even on the long plane ride home, Holly expected to be lumped together with Edward by sheer default. They were, after all, the two odd men out in a group of otherwise loving couples. She had been surprised and relieved when Esme took the seat next to her, leaving Edward to sit several rows behind them next to his father.

Upon arriving home, the mayhem pulled everyone in different directions. With the circus in full swing all around them, it wasn't hard to dodge each other that first week and a half. The grace of circumstance allowed Holly to avoid the inevitable confrontation with Edward, as well as her impending heartache. But she knew the madness wouldn't last forever and whatever was ahead for them wouldn't be easy. After everything Holly and Edward had let pile up between them, all the barriers they'd created, bridging the distance seemed less and less likely as the days passed.

The days were long and hard when they'd first returned home. Early mornings dragged into endless days, which then turned into long nights that touched the wee hours of morning again before Holly would be able to sneak in a couple hours of sleep, only to have to wake up and do it all over again. She'd made it to the end of the week on nothing but fumes, and when the feds were finally through with her, and the relentless questioning had come to an end, Holly was weary to the bone. She felt aged and strangely hollow.

The Friday evening before Edward left Josh's house, Holly had just finished eating a late dinner of reheated Chinese takeout and was laying on the couch in the living room. Emmett and his daughter, Sophie, were with her, spread out on the floor in a nest of pillows and blankets watching a movie. Holly tried to keep her eyes open, but it was a wasted effort. Twenty minutes into the film, her eyes closed, and she finally surrendered to the exhaustion that had been her faithful companion for what seemed like an eternity.

Holly awoke on Sunday morning in her own bed to realize she'd been asleep off and on for a day and a half. After watching Edward's car leave the property, Holly turned away from the window and trudged into the bathroom to clean herself up. She stood under the shower until the water ran cold, thinking about Edward-how he'd come to her in the hospital, ready to bare his soul and how she'd shut him down.

Her mind had been swallowed up whole by grief, thinking Josh was gone forever. As it turned out, her mourning was all in vain, but the fact that she'd blown her chance to hear whatever Edward wanted to say to her was very real. It was real, and it burned a hole in her heart. As Holly stepped out of the shower and dried herself off, she welcomed the pain that seared her insides. It was all that remained of what might have been.

Steam billowed around her as she emerged from the bathroom, and Holly dressed in dark jeans and a thin, yellow sweater. Taking her laptop with her, she made her way downstairs. There was no hope for putting Edward out of her mind completely, but now that life had somewhat settled down, Holly had plenty of other things to think about. First thing on her list was finding a job-one she could actually be proud of.

When Holly had first arrived on her brother's doorstep-before she and Josh had restored their long-abandoned relationship-he'd pointed out to her that her degree in philosophy was all but useless in the real world. As much as it offended her at the time, he had been right.

_Fucking philosophy. What the hell was I thinking?_ Holly's mind ranted as she padded into the kitchen and set up a workspace at the breakfast bar. She hoped the degree would work in her favor, at least as proof of a higher education. She hoped it would be enough of a platform to squeeze her foot in the door somewhere. Holly _really_ hoped it would be enough to get her in the door of social work. Whether it was through the State of Washington or a privately run organization, it didn't really matter to Holly, but that was the field which called to her the loudest.

Throughout her own lousy adolescence, she spent many nights wishing there'd been someone for her to talk to-someone who actually gave a crap. After everything she'd endured and all the horrors she'd overcome as a youth, Holly decided she wanted nothing more than to be that person to someone else in need.

She sat at the counter, revising her resume with meticulous scrutiny as she added in the experience she gained playing office-girl at Cullen MacNamera over the summer. The work she performed was entry-level at best, but she was still proud to add the firm, as well as a letter of recommendation from Carlisle, to her minimal repertoire.

Holly looked up from the screen and smiled when Alice walked through the archway with a burp cloth slung over each shoulder.

"Well, look whose back from the dead," Alice said, retrieving two small pouches of pre-pumped milk from the refrigerator. Holly responded with an embarrassed chuckle, and Alice smiled in return. "Don't worry; you weren't the only one. Josh only woke up a couple hours ago himself. The doctor came by for a checkup. He says our guy is ahead of his recovery schedule, but he'll still have to be in a cast for another six weeks."

"Aw, I'm glad to hear that. Now he just needs to visit a dentist and get his grill fixed," Holly said as she created an account for herself at a popular job search engine.

Alice plopped the bags of milk into a saucepan and filled it with water. "Already taken care of; he went yesterday while you were in the Land of Nod. With all the drugs he's on, the poor thing has been passed out since he got home yesterday afternoon." Alice turned the stove on to warm the milk and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms with a smirk. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Hmm? For what?" Holly asked; she was distracted by the webpage full of job opportunities that were way out of her league.

"For managing to avoid Edward the _entire_ week and a half you've been in the same house together. Impressive, really-I've never seen anything like it," Alice said, taking two small bottles out of the cabinet.

Holly side-glanced her sister-in-law with a sardonic snort. "You've seen nothing, Alice. We've got that shit down to a science at this point."

Alice rolled her eyes and checked the water in the pan with her finger. "So I've heard."

"Have you now?" Holly said, clicking on an interesting prospect.

"Yep, Rose told me everything. And I saw for myself the way you two danced around each other all week like it was a sport. It's stupid and unnecessary, if you ask me."

"I didn't," Holly reminded her, keeping her eyes glued to the screen in front of her.

Alice sighed. "When are you two going to talk and get it over with? Rose said before Jacob Black came into the picture, you guys were making real progress."

"Thank you, Rosalie," Holly muttered.

"You're welcome!" Rose said, sauntering into the kitchen. "But what are you thanking me for?"

Holly groaned, no longer seeing the words on the screen, and Alice chuckled, turning off the stove. "For telling me how pathetic my brother and his almost-girlfriend have been while I was away."

"Ah," Rosalie said, opening the fridge in search of bottled water.

Holly hopped off the barstool and grabbed the refrigerator door before Rose could close it. Her stomach was growling, and she grabbed the first thing her hand touched-a bag of grapes-to take the edge off. Holly closed the door and turned around to find them both staring at her with raised eyebrows. She knew she was in trouble. "What?"

"When are you going to talk to him?" Rose asked, repeating Alice's earlier question.

Walking past them, Holly reclaimed her seat at the counter. She stared into the pile of grapes, wishing she knew the answer to that particular question. "Is there any point?" she asked with a shrug. "Haven't we put each other through enough already?"

Alice finished preparing the bottles and crossed the kitchen, taking the seat next to Holly. "What you've put each other through can't be any worse than what you're putting _yourselves_ through now by moping around in misery. And you're only hurting Edward more by not being honest about your feelings. You need to tell him the truth. You _do _still love him, don't you?"

Holly gave up and closed the laptop, rubbing a hand over her face. "I _did_ tell him how I feel. I wrote him a letter the night before we left for Italy that clearly explained my feelings, and he hasn't respond. Technically, that puts the ball in his court. There's not much else I can do right now."

Rosalie leaned against the counter across from them and spoke to Alice. "See what I mean? Both of them are either too stubborn or too proud to be the first one to speak up. It's been truly painful to watch."

Alice shook her head in dismay, turning back to Holly. "Well, I know my brother, and I know he can be pretty brain-dead when it comes to feelings, but you guys have to talk. No letters, no texts-just you and him, face-to-face. Do I need to lock you two in a room in order to make that happen? Because I'm not above it."

"I believe you," Holly said with wry. All the talk of Edward and feelings made her brain hurt, and she put her head in her hands and squeezed. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that I know you're right? I _know_ we need to talk-at least figure out how we're going to exist in the same family together, but. . . ." She trailed off with a defeated shrug.

"But _what_? Talk to him already! Stop being such a huge vagina about it," Rose said, knocking on the side of her head, as if any moron could see it was the right thing to do.

Holly couldn't hide her smile. "Nice, Rosalie."

"It's the truth. And you're not the only vagina in this situation. I told Edward the exact same thing the other night . . . right after he carried you upstairs and tucked you into bed." Holly froze, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two girls, and Rose chuckled. "How else do you think you got there? You certainly didn't dream your way up the stairs."

Alice and Rose shared a knowing smile as Holly tried to compensate for her surprise. "Well, maybe I _would_ talk to Edward if he was here, but he's not. He went home, so. . . ."

"So?" Alice and Rose said in unison.

"_So_ . . . I'm busy," Holly answered, gesturing to the closed laptop.

Alice scoffed. "Yeah? Doing what?"

"I'm trying to get a real job, here, so I can stop living off of you and Josh. I've become the consummate leech. You should be excited about this," Holly informed her, and Alice rolled her eyes again.

Rosalie snorted. "Holly, you haven't had a real job in six months. What difference will one more day make? You're procrastinating, and your excuses are lame."

Holly pinched the bridge of her nose and almost laughed at the no-win situation she was in. The two of them could keep it up all day if they wanted to. "Fine, so I'm procrastinating. Sue me," she told Rose before giving Alice a pointed look. "Don't you have a couple of babies to feed, or are you just going to stand here and let them starve?"

Alice didn't budge. "They're sleeping, actually. I have to wake them up to eat," she stated, folding her arms across her chest.

Despite the hours of sleep she'd had, Holly was fraught with exhaustion. She knew Rose and Alice were right, but knowing what she had to do didn't make actually _doing_ it any easier. The conversation she and Edward needed to have was a massive, inauspicious cloud that covered every inch of the foreseeable horizon. She could continue to waste time and create diversions, but doing so didn't make the cloud go away. In fact, avoiding it only seemed to make it grow larger and more ominous. No matter which way Holly turned, it was there, looming in the distance. And it would _be_ there until she gathered the nerve to just put her head down and walk heart-first into the storm.

"Talking to Edward isn't going to be easy. I don't even know what to say anymore or where to begin. We've been through so much together, and ending up as only friends. . . ." Holly squeezed her eyes shut and released a doleful sigh. "Pardon me for not rushing into the heartache."

Alice's eyes softened and she brushed a strand of hair behind Holly's ear. "So stubborn-the both of you," she said.

Alice and Rose had ambushed Edward the night he put Holly to bed, and they knew exactly how he felt about her. Holly and Edward had turned making mountains out of mole hills into an art form. It was a shame; if they could just open their eyes and see what was so obvious to everyone else, it would save everyone a lot of time.

Hopping off the stool, Alice handed one of the bottles of milk to Rose and motioned for her to follow so they could leave Holly to stew in her misplaced angst. Alice paused at the archway that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house and looked at Holly. "Do yourself a favor and go talk to him. No matter what happens, at least it will be over with, and you guys can move forward."

Holly watched Alice turn and disappear around the corner. She closed her eyes, and her forehead made a _thud_ as it hit the granite countertop. She groaned and wrapped her arms around her head, burying herself in darkness. _Damn it_, Holly thought. She knew they were right. She and Edward had left too much unsaid and unfinished between them. They needed to get it all out into the open, once and for all; no matter what hideous consequences it entailed..

Holly knew friendship was better than nothing at all, and she hoped at the very _least_, they'd be able to claim that when all was said and done.

Edward descended the stairs, freshly showered and feeling worse than ever. He was hoping the hot water would clear his mind and allow him to organize his thoughts, but he felt foggier than ever. He really hadn't wanted to leave Josh's house while Holly was still asleep, but Carlisle made him. He'd told Edward that he couldn't stand looking at him any longer in the state he was in.

Edward had spent all of Saturday wandering aimlessly around his sister's house as he waited for Holly to wake up. He even formulated a plan to approach her, clinging to the hope that maybe, once she'd had some sleep, her mind would be in a better place and they could talk. But the hours came and went, and Holly slept right through the day.

On several occasions, Edward went to her room to check on her. He'd poke his head in the door and watch the rise and fall of her back or just listen to her soft, rhythmic breathing. Eventually, his desperation overruled his patience, and he tried half-heartedly to wake Holly up. He would knock lightly on the doorframe, or clear his throat to see if she would stir, but she never did. After the second time Carlisle caught Edward trying to disturb her, he decided he'd had enough. Carlisle put his foot down, instructing Edward to give Jasper a ride home and keep driving until he reached his apartment.

Standing in the middle of his empty kitchen, Edward looked at the clock. He'd barely been home for two hours and was already itching to go back to Josh's place. He wondered if Holly was awake yet, and what she would think if he wasn't there. Would she be relieved? Would she think he'd taken the pussy way out and intentionally waited for her to fall asleep before bailing? One question after another ran through his mind, and he wondered how much time would have to pass before his dad would let him back in the house.

Edward scratched his bare stomach beneath the waistband of his old gray sweatpants and groaned. How he could've allowed himself to create such a mess in the first place was the real question. He shuffled to the refrigerator and pulled out the orange juice, chugging it straight from the carton. When it was half-gone, he put the carton back and grabbed an apple. Edward's housekeeper, Sue, had stocked the kitchen when she learned he might be coming home soon, and he mentally thanked her for it.

Though he was tired, Edward knew he wouldn't be able to close his eyes without seeing Holly staring right back at him. He had no idea what to do with himself as he glanced around the kitchen. Turning around, Edward noticed that the small nook where Sue kept his mail was overflowing, and he crossed the kitchen and took a seat. The weeks of unopened bills and junk mail would be enough to kill at least an hour or two.

He grabbed a piece of mail from the top of the stack, but it was what was underneath that caught his attention. His address had been handwritten, scrawled across the front of the small envelope; there was no return address, only an embossed Hilton logo.

He tore open the end of the cream-colored envelope and pulled out a single sheet of thick stationary. His eyes scanned the letter for only a second before he realized it was from Holly. Edward held the letter inches from his face and started at the top again, taking his time to read it carefully. His mouth was hanging open by the time he finished, and he finally let out the breath he'd been holding.

He reread it a second time, and then a third, his heart pounding. "She loves me," he said in disbelief. His eyes were stuck on the last line of the second paragraph as he read her words aloud. "From the very beginning, it was always you_._"

His hands dropped to the small desk before him. "Holy fuck, she loves me. She fucking loves me." Edward laughed, glancing over his shoulder only to remember there was no one to share his joy with. He shook his head in rapid, frantic succession. "What the fuck am I doing here, then?" Edward asked himself, and the small wooden chair he was on clattered to the floor as he stood up to look for his keys.

He grew frustrated when they weren't on the counter or the table by the door, but insight struck, and he realized he'd taken them upstairs when he first arrived home. Edward took the stairs two at a time, laughing like a maniac. All he could think about was getting across town as fast as he could to see Holly.

He found the keys lying in the middle of his bed and held them up with triumph as he left his room and made his way down the stairs. Edward sprinted across the living room and into the foyer, pushed the button to the elevator, and waited impatiently for the doors to open. When they finally did, his reflection in the mirrored wall stopped him in his tracks. He realized he was barefoot and half-naked, wearing nothing but his sweatpants.

"Come the fuck on," he grumbled, retracing his steps and racing up the stairs to put some real clothes on. On his way back to the elevator, Edward forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down. "Get a grip, Cullen," he said, knowing there was no way in hell that was going to happen. He reminded himself that while Holly may have said the words, it'd been two weeks since she wrote the letter. She never actually _said _them, she wrote them down only to never mention them again. There was a possibility she didn't feel that way anymore, and running back to Josh's like a half-crazed lunatic would only scare her.

With another deep, calming breath, Edward grabbed the letter off the desk and shoved it into the pocket of his jeans. His heart thundered in his chest as he waited for the elevator, and ceased beating all together when the doors opened and he found himself face-to-face with Holly.

Before Edward's mind could catch up with his mouth, Holly spoke. "Hi, Edward. Can I come in?"

In a haze of stupidity, Edward nodded but didn't move. Once he remembered himself, he stepped aside, gesturing for her to enter. Holly put her head down and walked past him, and Edward followed her into the living room, his brain still numb with surprise. She stood at the large windows with her back to him, and Edward forced himself to say something-_anything. _"What-what are you doing here?"

Holly turned to him. "I don't know," she said honestly. She'd stood in the parking garage for nearly a half-hour, wondering what to say to him, before she finally built up the courage to get in that elevator. "I'm sorry for barging in. I shouldn't have used your code without your permission. I just thought, you know, if there's anything left to say, we should probably just say it."

Edward concealed his elation and shoved his hands into his pockets, fingering Holly's letter. "Fair enough," he said, deciding he'd better let her say whatever it is she wanted to say.

Holly nodded and took a deep breath. She thought she had been sufficiently prepared to cut the vein in her heart and let her emotions bleed out, but her resolve had vanished now that she was standing in front of him. The words were stuck in her chest. "God, why is this so hard?" she whispered, her throat suddenly parched.

"I can start if you'd like," Edward offered; he was growing more and more anxious. Holly nodded, the relief evident on her face. Edward's heart was still going crazy, and he cleared his throat. "Okay, then. I'll just cut to the chase." He paused and waited for her to look at him. "But you have to promise to hear me out this time."

Holly eyed him wearily and nodded her head.

"Promise me," he prompted.

"I promise, Edward. Say whatever you need to say," Holly said, wishing he'd just get on with it. She was losing courage by the second, and she didn't feel as ready for his final rejection as Rose and Alice had convinced her she was. Maybe it would be a good thing. Maybe Edward would say enough for the both of them, and she wouldn't even have to go into the truth about her feelings. Then, as Alice said, they could both move on.

Edward dropped his head and took a deep breath before fixing his eyes on hers. "Holly, after what I've put you through the last six months, I wouldn't blame you if you never want to see me again. But I have some things to tell you. Things that I've known in my heart for a long time but never had the courage to say out loud. Things I don't want to tell you over the phone or . . . in a letter," he said, pulling the sheet of paper out of his pocket and dropping it onto the coffee table between them.

Holly immediately recognized the crumpled envelope by its telltale Hilton logo. Her stomach clenched, and her ears burned. She drew her arms around her middle and shook her head. "Never mind; I don't want to do this. I need to go," she said, ready to bolt for the door. She had been wrong to come; there was no way she could handle having her sincere words being thrown back in her face. Holly was scared, and she didn't know where her fear would lead, but she had to get out of there before the pain of his goodbye cut too deep.

Edward's jaw clenched with panicked frustration. "No. Holly, you promised me," he reminded her through his teeth.

"I lied. I can't do this," she said, starting toward the elevator.

"Please don't leave! You don't have to say anything, but I _have _to do this. I no longer have a choice." Edward moved closer to her, his desperation propelling him forward. "I love you, Holly. I've loved you for a long, long time."

Holly froze; she _heard _his words, but they didn't sink in. She'd been expecting the exact opposite from him. "What?"

Edward met her where she stood, but she stepped away from him. Still, he remained firm; maybe she didn't want to hear what he had to say, but he had to get it out of his head before it killed him. "I wanted to tell you in the hospital. Fuck, I _should _have told you the night of the Open Heart Ball. I was planning to but I choked. And then we . . . and it was so beautiful, Holly. I was lost before that night."

Holly slowly backed across the room until the backs of her legs hit the couch and she fell to her butt. She looked up at him utterly confused. "The ball? Edward, that was six months ago. If you couldn't tell me then, why bother telling me now?" _Speak for yourself_, her mind quipped, but Holly ignored it.

Edward shrugged with a shake of his head. "I don't know why I couldn't tell you that night, or any other night since. But I'm telling you now. I love you."

"But . . . _why_?" Holly uttered through a breath. Her mind was screaming at her to get her shit together, but her heart wouldn't comply.

Edward looked at her like she was insane. "What? What do you mean '_why'_? Because I can't function without you! I need you; I always have. And I want you to need me, too." Edward closed the gap between them once again. He fell to his knees in front of her and grabbed her thighs. "Holly, you never once failed me, you never gave up. I tried to believe that you had, but I knew I was wrong. I pushed you away because I couldn't stand what I was doing to you. All I could see whenever I looked at you was everything I couldn't give you.

"You gave me every single part of yourself, while I held back so much. You don't realize what you've taught me. You showed me how to look inside myself and see what I've been hiding-the good and the bad. You showed me how to be the kind of person I want to be." Edward sat back on his heels, waiting for her to speak, but Holly didn't respond. She could hardly blink, let alone speak. Edward mistook her silence for rejection and physically deflated. He said what he would've gone to the ends of the earth to say, and all she could do was stare at him. "Say something," he begged.

Holly blinked and her heart revived itself. "I-I don't know what to say," she murmured. Edward was too close; his atmosphere was all-consuming, and she couldn't think straight within it. Holly needed to distance herself to get her grip on what was actually going on before she could think clearly enough to respond. Wiggling herself out of his proximity, she stood up and crossed the room, running her hands through her hair. "Do you want me to tell you that I love you, too? You _know_ that already, Edward. Part of me thinks you've known it all along," she told him, gripping her torso.

Edward stood and braced himself against the couch. "Then why couldn't you ever say it to me?"

Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him, wide-eyed, before throwing her arms up. "I was scared! I didn't want you to go away. Jesus, all I ever wanted was to be something that you needed. And I tried to be-I really did-but I wasn't going to beg you to love me. I don't want to chase _anyone _anymore, but that's exactly what it felt like with you," Holly explained and began to pace. "I _twisted _our time together around in my mind until it meant what I wanted it to mean. I imagined every moment with you as another step in the right direction. I waited and _waited_ for you to open up to me-to _really_ let me in-but you never did." Holly paused to look at him, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "So, yes . . . I love you. And it's going to take a long time to get over you."

Edward took long strides to cross the room, grabbed her arms, and forced her to look at him. "Then _don't_ get over me, Holly. I _do _trust you-with my life_._ When you left, and I thought I'd never see you again ..." He bowed his head, their foreheads nearly brushing as he gathered his composure. "After the way I acted the day you brought Jake over-" He shook his head "-I have no excuse for that. I was scared out of my mind about the feelings I have for you and pissed off at myself for pushing you to the point you couldn't even talk to me. But you did nothing wrong, and I know that."

Holly's face crumpled and her whole body shuddered just thinking of the wretched hole Edward left in her heart the night he walked out on her.

Edward wanted to close his eyes and escape from what he'd done to her, but he couldn't allow himself to hide anymore. "I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. It makes me sick to think about how I've been treating you. You should hate me for the fucked up things I said, and I thought you _did_. But I got home today and saw your letter from the hotel. . . ." Edward loosened his grip on her arms and softened his voice. "Holly, you've given me so many chances, and I didn't deserve any of them. But right now, I'm _begging_ you for one more."

Holly swallowed, the walls of her throat sticking together. "Edward, I-"

Fearing she was about to sever the final tie between them, thus ending things forever, he interrupted. "Please. I just . . . I _can't _live a normal life without you. I can't stand going through the motions every day; it's torture. It's all just varying degrees of hell when you're not by my side." Edward pulled her to him, his face so close to hers, their noses nearly touched. "I've never claimed to be good enough for you, Holly, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be. And while I can finally say that I love you without any fear, I can't promise you perfect. As much as I want to, I just can't. I _will_ fuck up-probably a lot. It's what I do. But I _can_ promise you together. I can promise that no matter what, I'll never spend another second taking you for granted. Whatever comes my way-_our_ way-I know we can get through it, because I'm so much stronger with you than I've ever been alone."

Holly quaked in his grasp. She closed her eyes, unable to stand the weight of his stare and too afraid to open her mouth. She felt as if she were in a dream-a cruel practical joke, courtesy of her subconscious.

Her silence set fire to his hopes, burning them into ash, and Edward swallowed around the cold, hard lump of realization that he was about to lose her. His voice cracked with painful resignation when he spoke one last time, settling his final peace. "You're _all_ I ever wanted, Holly. And everything I never knew I needed. Please let me prove it to you."

Holly finally opened her watery eyes, scanning Edward's face before meeting his gaze. "Prove it, then."

Edward blinked, and it took a moment for him to realize she was serious. Not wasting another second, he whimpered with relief and planted his mouth onto hers, wrapping her up in his strong embrace.

"Edward?" Holly murmured between ragged breaths when Edward finally released her mouth.

"Yes?" he asked, his lips making their way across her cheek with one hand tangled in her hair.

She slid her hands into his hair and pulled his head back to look him in the eye. "I love you, too."

"Thank God," he whispered and captured her lips once again.

After a moment, Holly tore away from him, and Edward moved to begin assaulting her neck. "Edward?" she asked, her insides blazing with his heat.

"Yeah?"

"Take me upstairs."

A low groan rumbled through Edward as he gripped her waist and lifted her into his arms. Holly wrapped her legs around him and held on for dear life as he ran across the room and charged up the stairs, proclaiming his unending love against her mouth.

Chapter End Notes:

SO, we can all take a collective sigh of relief. Holly and Edward FINALLY got their s*** together! What did you think of how it all played out? Aren't Rose and Alice the best? Please PLEASE leave me your thoughts. I appreciate every word of feedback you guys give me, and I promise to give you a prompt reply.

A million thanks to my beta, Alice's White Rabbit, for her speedy service. She's sweeter than pie and smart as a whip.

Hugs and big, wet smooches to my VB, Kherisma. She truly makes this story the best it can be, and I love and appreciate all the work she puts into it. The two of us are actually in the process of writing a oneshot together that will post in the next few weeks, so again, if you don't have me on author alert, please remember to do so now.

Wow, you guys, we are nearly to the end of the road. Actually, there should only be ONE chapter left to post. *tear* I'm so going to miss this story and these wonderful characters, but all good things must come to an end.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of Love, Save the Empty, and don't forget to review!

See you next time!


End file.
